Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Jezika]

Hmm, no, never had an IUD. I wish there was some research on the differential symptomatology of different kinds of fibroids, if that's even a thing. I'd love to know whether experiencing pain, spotting or irregular periods are associated with certain kinds of fibroids or other characteristics of them. All questions I can ask, of course, but probably something better suited to a specialist. Then again, if I'm referred to one, those questions would be redundant.

 

[drjo718]

Do you have any mid cycle spotting?

 

[Jezika]

No, literally never.

 

[drjo718]

Well, that doesn't exclude a submucosal fibroid but makes it much less likely.

 

[KatO79]

Never taking blame for anything is exactly right! You know, although I was eventually glad to get out of that relationship, it wasn't through my choice; he'd found something that I'd done horrifically wrong in his eyes (he found out I'd been unfaithful to a boyfriend I'd had at age 17) and was so disgusted with me that he broke up with me. He called me all the names under the sun that no woman should be called (though note I'd never been unfaithful to him - in fact, I doted on this guy), but even before that he was constantly accusing me of doing things wrong that were completely and utterly ridiculous (like serving my brother more chicken than I served him or sitting on his lap in front of his friends that apparently might've caused them to think of me sexually). So many examples, and each time his reaction would be like I had totally disrespected him in a completely unforgivable way. And if he ever did something hurtful to me (like leaving sexually suggestive comments on other women's MySpace profiles - this was 10 years ago), he would deflect and turn it right around on me. It was futile to ever oppose him, yet he made sure I felt lucky to be with someone so smart and funny and special. These memories have come back a little bit recently because it was with him that I had gotten pregnant accidentally, and of course in his eyes keeping it was not an option. I remember feeling so nauseous all the time and he'd get angry and tell me to "stop moaning about it." And he wouldn't even come with me to the clinic; my mum came with me while he went and played soccer. After breaking up, it was only after beginning to get over the heartbreak of it that he so nobly decided that maybe he could forgive me and it would make us stronger, but luckily by that time I'd finally healed just about enough to realize that I was pretty unhappy and undeserving of his abuse, and that I would ultimately have to go through this all over again if I took him back. I consider myself a very strong woman and my DH is the complete opposite of that ex, but it's still frightening to think what I was reduced to and how someone could completely change how I saw reality. Sorry if this was a bit of an overshare! It was kind of cathartic sharing...

So sorry you went through all that But he definitely sounds like an NPD case and it was a blessing he broke up with you before you were even more invested into the relationship. Having insane standards for others but not keeping up those standards themselves is also an NPD characteristic. They're total hypocrites! Plus him saying stuff like that to you while pregnant and not coming to the clinic is also typical, they need everything to be about them (boy do I know how that is!). It's also common for them to be jealous of their own children (plus younger siblings), at least until they can turn them into good sources of Narcissistic Supply. And true, if you took him back he may have been nice and loving in the beginning but he'd eventually revert back to being abusive and you'd have had to deal with him and his BS all over again. By changing reality I'm assuming you mean he totally was into e.g. gaslighting you e.g. changing history to make himself look good and you bad? Yep, been there with especially my brother and mother, it's just so insane the lengths they go to to make you look like the villian and them the poor victim.

It's been especially the last couple of years that I understood my own family dynamics and really realising I deserve better than how they treat me. I don't even think my brother considers me family, not really. I remember at his wedding about 10 years ago that after the ceremony they were taking a family pic. I waited while my brother's MIL's boyfriend was calling up and deciding where people should stand for the pic. He never called me, my brother didn't say a thing and they were about to take the picture before I told them that I was his sister but perhaps that isn't a close enough relative to be in the picture? To make things even worse, the next day there was a lunch thing at this huge house (his wife has a rich family). Later everyone was going to go to this fancy restaurant for dinner but my enabler cousin, her DH and I weren't invited and he said maybe we all could meet up later. Can you believe it, his own sister wasn't close enough to be invited! Sorry, now rambling more stories It just all makes me realise I've fought too long and too hard for this relationship, a realtionship that never meant a thing to him, especially once I started setting boundaries and wasn't constantly kissing his butt so becoming a bad source of Narcissistic Supply.

 

[Jezika]

Kat - yeah by changing reality I mean gaslighting definitely, but so convincingly that I truly began to feel like I was at fault. And it definitely sounds like you're far better off without contact with your brother. Stick with the people you actually share happiness with. Life's too short not to. And of course hopefully you'll have another little person to share some happiness with soon! How is it going with the embie? When will you find out if all went well?

Drjo - that's encouraging. Fingers crossed it all turns out okay. Was your surgery pretty straightforward?

 

[Xokittycatxo]

How is everyone doing??

I'm 4dpo and just increased my progesterone cream....my temp went down a little today. Not getting cramps yet like I normally do and my sex drive is through the roof for some reason. Usually at this point I want nothing to do with sex. Reallllly want to get at least an 8-9 day lp this cycle! Just got my premama myo-inositol in the mail so I'll start taking that again as well.

Sorry that was a lot of random blabbering haha. Anyways...hope everyone is fabulous!

 

[Jezika]

Hey Kitty! Sounds like you're all tooled up for a decent TWW (or less... but on the bright side that means waiting less!). How are you feeling about this cycle?

 

[Xokittycatxo]

Hey Kitty! Sounds like you're all tooled up for a decent TWW (or less... but on the bright side that means waiting less!). How are you feeling about this cycle?

Honestly? Not fantastic. I ovulated early which is good but I wasn't really prepared and I think I usually O about12 hours of my pos Opk. Got pos on day 17 and the strongest first thing day 18 and then neg after that so I'm thinking I O that night and was catching the tail of the lh that first test. Plus my temp was way up. We BD cd 18 anyway in the evening so it's really iffy that we caught the egg. Still, I used egg whites and soft cup again just in case!

When are you seeing your dr to find out about the fibroids??

 

[Jezika]

Well, it's good that you got some BD in there around the right time, no? I've seen a lot of women here here get BFPs when they weren't feeling hopeful, so you really never know know. This is your second cycle?

AFM my doc appt is tomorrow. Not sure how much the GP can tell me about the type of fibroids - I guess that depends on how much info came back with the labs - or whether she'd want me to do more testing considering we are TTC now and my last pelvic exam was a while back. I guess I'll have to find out. I have to admit it's also crossed my mind to tell her we've been TTC for 1yr+ in case she tells me it's too early to explore the fibroids more.

 

[drjo718]

Jezika- the surgery was a breeze. It was done vaginally, I only needed a couple doses of ibuprofen afterwards and felt fine the next day. I feel like I could've gone back to work but they had me take 2 weeks off.

 

[Jezika]

Drjo - that all sounds good, but two weeks? Yikes! I'd have to time it pretty well with school but I guess with medical issues there's no choice but for supervisors/professors/employers to understand. I also just realized that it's usually one year that you're made to wait for specialist help if you're under 35 and TTC without result.

 

[drjo718]

I think school would be fine and it depends on your job. Since I'm a nurse and do pushing/lifting/walking all day they had me just stay off. I imagine if you had something where you could avoid heavy lifting or had a desk job, it would be fine.

 

[KatO79]

Kat - yeah by changing reality I mean gaslighting definitely, but so convincingly that I truly began to feel like I was at fault. And it definitely sounds like you're far better off without contact with your brother. Stick with the people you actually share happiness with. Life's too short not to. And of course hopefully you'll have another little person to share some happiness with soon! How is it going with the embie? When will you find out if all went well?

Yep NPDs are good at that So true but it does make me a bit sad that things couldn't have been different, it would've been nice to have 1-2 siblings I could have loving relationships with after all the BS our toxic mother put us all through. Plus it's going to make for awkward conversations when I hopefully make new friends where we're moving because of course they'll ask about my family Telling someone that a little over half of your family are toxic people and the rest are their enablers that go with the BS will in many cases result in people not wanting to be friends with me because so many still feel if you're having problems with most of your family, it must be you that's the issue I'm just afraid I guess that people will shy away and it'll result in not many wanting their children to play with my future child.

I'm on Crinone so not reading into anything, we'll see. I go in for my beta February 5th

 

[deafgal01]

Hope you are all doing good. I can't remember which forum it was but I am considering buying whatever it was that helped some ladies conceive the cycle they started taking this vitamin or whatever. I have been trying a while with real swimmers with no luck so wanted to buy it but can't remember the name of the product.

 

[DBZ34]

Jezika - You wouldn't be the first woman that told a doc they've been TTC for over a year to get things moving.

 

[Angel5000]

I'm having such an off/weird/hard week.

So on Tuesday I left work at 10:30 because I was nauseous and just out of it all morning. Went home and went to bed. Thought I had a stomach bug, but no fever or other symptoms. That evening we had to drive 3 hours so that we could testify yesterday at my brother-in-law's court hearing for custody of his children. The whole drive down I was nauseous and car sick. I get car sick, but not usually unless I'm reading or something in the car, and usually only on very curvy areas.

Yesterday, Wednesday, is the court hearing. First things first, my thermometer decides to stop working. Again. This time we're pretty sure it's not teh battery it's just toast. So there goes ANOTHER day of temps (what would be 3DPO so I don't get my CH). Court starts at 9am, continues until 4pm. In the middle (right before lunch) I get attacked (verbally) at the court house by the sister of the children's mother (who I have known since high school also) and she starts making threats against me and another witness. I was okay all day but just couldn't eat anything, the idea of food made me sick (nerves). Then we go to head home around 5pm. We stop to eat and the food makes me nauseous. Figure it's still nerves. On the drive home (3 hours) I am car sick the entire way. As long as I stay laying down I'm okay but the minute I sit up I am sick.

This morning I get up, massive headache. The smell of my coffee makes my stomach turn, but once I start sipping it is a little better. The thought of food makes my stomach turn too, but i manage to choke down my yogurt (choke down is the relative word, everything sounds gross to me, I want no food and it all makes me feel quesy).

I don't know what's up. I don't really think it's anything pregnancy related, I'm only probably 4DPO based on what info I have. I can't be sure because I don't have adequate temps from the weekend. I temped today using a "normal" thermometer because I am waiting for a new basal one to come (the store didn't have any). I shouldn't have any symptoms. I suspect it's due to emotional drain...... just so very frustrating!

Jezika CH is cross hairs. Fertility Friend will give you a red "t" (Cross hair) when it determines your Ovulation day. The veritcal line indicates O day and the horizontal line indicates your "cover line" or the line where your pre-O temps should be below and your post-O temps should be above. We are/were nervous about being witnesses. The case was sort of civil, they are trying to make it civil but the ex wife just keeps saying they are trying to "steal her kids" and her family (who has known our family for almost 2 decades) is being really horrible about it. Posting really nasty things on social media and stuff, when the rest of us are keeping the whole thing off social media because we want things to be civil. In the end my sister and BIL didn't get what they wanted but hte judge told the mother that she better get she stuff together, and that if she continues to violate the parenting agreement they'll be back here in a year and things won't be as good for her. So not the "win" my sister and BIL were hoping for but it was progress. and setting the base for future work.

 

[KatO79]

Angel sorry you've been feeling so poorly I would also think that at 4 dpo it must mostly be due to something else, perhaps stress. The ex and her family sound mentally unstable which is a pity for the kids and makes co-parenting them an impossible task Such selfish behavior! I know it's hard but I'd ignore them on social media, avoid following what they're saying. They're probably also out to upset you, try not to let it affect you, it can't be good for your TTCing.

 

[ireadyermind]

Hope you are all doing good. I can't remember which forum it was but I am considering buying whatever it was that helped some ladies conceive the cycle they started taking this vitamin or whatever. I have been trying a while with real swimmers with no luck so wanted to buy it but can't remember the name of the product.

Probably Vitex, also known as Chasteberry extract.

 

[Jezika]

Kat - I hear ya. Unfortunately we can't change others' judgments. I guess you can just talk vaguely about family living overseas and things being busy, and hope that by the time you really get to know a person enough for them to know more about you, they'd be a lot more understanding and know you well enough to see the issue is not with you.

DBZ - okay, that makes me feel better haha

Angel - sorry to hear you had to go through that stress. It's also hard enough being involved in all that without the uncalled for vitriol. I hope you have an opportunity to relax soon and take your mind off things a little. The body can do some weird things under stress.

AFM, went to doc today. I was a little annoyed because she didn't give me a prescription for antibiotics for UTI (I want to be able to take some after BD to stave off infection). I get terrible UTIs after regular BD, but when I get them I am completely debilitated by the pain and discomfort and have to cancel all my plans last minute, so I struggle to get out to a doc in time to be tested and it usually goes way on its own after a few days anyway. So she did take a urine sample (probably too late to show anything, though) but said she'd only give antibiotics if something shows up and they've seen I do in fact get it repeatedly. So basically I have to wait till it happens again and drag myself out while in agony and try to time it so I don't mess up my various commitments. Anyway, she also confirmed that when I have my ultrasound two years ago, they found many fibroids, the largest of which was 5.3cm. She said the normal pelvic ultrasound should pick up all types of fibroids, which I was a bit skeptical of. I have a new one scheduled in addition to bloodwork to see where I'm at. I hope the doc is right and that I'm not going to be completely oblivious of the presence of submucosal fibroids because of the wrong type of ultrasound.