Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, MJsbabyshaw! I'm sorry to hear about your loss I hope you get your rainbow baby soon!

Praying- I totally get what you mean. I was very excited when I first learned how to detect ovulation based on symptoms and temping and cm and opks, but the whole thing gets exhausting. Then add in fertility meds and vitamins....oh my! We have sort of reached a point where we have agreed that if it happens, excellent, but if not, we won't let it be the end of the world. That being said, my doctor offered to do a fertility workup in December if we haven't conceived by then. Even though that will only be 6 months of trying, he recommended it because of my suddenly weird cycles. I would only be okay with not having kids if I knew that we did everything we could, so I'm happy to do the workup and use Clomid if necessary, but you are right the whole thing does start to feel forced after a while. Hopefully we all get our BFPs soon !

 

[Fleur828815]

Kat, happy birthday to your cat ! Hope your appointment at the clinic goes well and they can shed some light on why it’s taking so long.

Praying, sorry to hear that things are so hard at the moment. It’s so frustrating when you’re trying all you can with no results.

Welcome MJsBabyShaw, fingers crossed that 2015 will bring you a healthy baby! Enjoy your holiday in Napa.

Hollyness, it’s good that your doctor is willing to do a fertility check in December. I hope you’ll get a BFP before then, but if not, at least you’ll know if there’s a reason why your cycles have gone weird.

I haven’t updated recently but at my appointment 2 weeks ago we found out that the embryo’s heartbeat had stopped 1 week earlier. I wasn’t have any signs of imminent miscarriage so I was booked in for a D&C on Monday 20th Oct. It’ll be 2 weeks tomorrow, I’m still bleeding on and off but I’m otherwise physically OK. Emotionally I’m really up and down and keep bursting into tears for no reason. I have to wait a few months to TTC again but right now I feel very pessimistic about it all.

 

[Hollynesss]

Oh Fleur, I'm so sorry

I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling. We're here for you anytime you need to vent I hope you get your rainbow baby soon

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Fluer, I, so sorry you had to go through that! Losses are just horrible...one minute you are planning for your entire life to be turned upside down in the BEST way possible....the next minute your world is turned upside down in the WORST way.

I still have my rough days and sometimes I feel weepy and worry that I'll never carry a baby to term, but my good days outnumber the bad ones and now that I'm doing acupuncture I feel more hopeful.

Okay, ladies, I'm going to spend some time reading through this thread to get get to know you all better! Oh, and you can just call me MJ. My full screen name is kind of a mouthful

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Ok, I just read through all of the posts! I'm really excited to have such a great support group! I like the positivity...it's a must when TTC can literally make you feel crazy. I'm off to Zumba! Ttyl.

 

[Hollynesss]

Haha, I'm impressed, MJ! Yes, it is definitely nice to have the solidarity of other women TTC in their 30s!

 

[Praying4BB]

I haven’t updated recently but at my appointment 2 weeks ago we found out that the embryo’s heartbeat had stopped 1 week earlier. I wasn’t have any signs of imminent miscarriage so I was booked in for a D&C on Monday 20th Oct. It’ll be 2 weeks tomorrow, I’m still bleeding on and off but I’m otherwise physically OK. Emotionally I’m really up and down and keep bursting into tears for no reason. I have to wait a few months to TTC again but right now I feel very pessimistic about it all.

Oh Fleur! I am so so sorry Like Holly said, feel free to vent whenever you need to. We are here for you!

Welcome MJ! Enjoy Napa (and especially the wine!) for me!

Holly, thank you for being so positive. I hope I can get to the point where I'm okay with not having kids if that's what is meant to be. I don't want to be angry and bitter, and I want to live my life to the fullest and be joyful and thankful regardless! In my sane moments, I realize I am letting this take over a little too much right now

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

I think that today I'm with you as far as "if it happens, great, but not letting it ruin my life if it doesn't". It's so weird that some days I feel 100% ok with living without kids. But other days I feel my whole world crashing down around me, the who time freaking out and all "what if I NEVER experience motherhood??"

Keeping busy with friends and hobbies and work helps me to have my good days. Bad days happen when I don't have much going on. The fact that I have vacation to look forward to really is helping me to not even think about babies. I am very happy that my fertile time will be while we are in Napa...my DH just got his sperm analysis results and apparently he is perfect, plus his count is above average! That's great news...we will be getting busy every single day...hahaha! Now that I know we don't have to do every other day, I figure, why not enjoy our anniversary trip and hopefully we will get a nice BFP out of it!

Praying - I love that little wine smiley! I'm still getting used to this forum, so I'm not so fast with knowing all of the smiley codes yet!

 

[KatO79]

Kat- good luck at the clinic!! I hope you get some good news and reassurance, or news that something is an easy fix! Keep us posted

I will

And I've been taking CoQ10 for about 4-5 months and it hasn't seemed to help me, at least not yet. I was taking 100 mg at first but upped it after the first round to 160 mg which is my current dose. I think I read somewhere that you're supposed to take about 4-600 mg a day (don't quote me though but it was up there somewhere) but DH thought it sounded insane (since we don't have any proof or more tangible indication my egg quality stinks) and those pills are pretty expensive here, hence the lower dose.

Kat - I just ordered CoQ10 but I got the more absorbent form - I think it's called ubiquional or ubiquinone or something weird like that. I'm going to take 200 mg per day for improved egg quality. You're right - it is very pricey! You might want to get your Cycle Day 3 blood work done to confirm if you have any issues with your hormone levels.

I can't seem to find the more absorbent form in this country, don't know why

I already got that done but the results were sent to the fertiliy clinic and they won't say anything about them until we come in for our 1st appointment on Wednesday I'm guessing it's because they don't think we'd understand the numbers I'll update here when we've been to that appointment.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Kat - sounds good...hopefully you will get some positive news. I got my results from my OB/gyn and he told his med assistant that my results were fine when I had an FSH of 15.5!!! I still don't understand why he thought that it was fine, when clearly it was NOT fine. My acupuncturist says that my FSH was high due to stress and from being on birth control for 10 years. She said that because I'm still young (I'll be 34 this week), that my eggs are fine and that I just need to get them healthy so that I have a stronger ovulation. So far she has helped me lengthen my luteal phase, which was only 10 days before. Now it's 12/13. So far so good! I'm happy that I'm noticing a difference because acupuncture is NOT cheap. But I totally trust my acupuncturist - she has a lot of success stories. I just hope I'm one of them!

 

[zen108]

Thanks Holly for the positiveness. After reading what you wrote, am going to let it be.

Been lurking around and sorry to hear about the miscarriage Fleur.

Hope all goes well for you Kat.

AFM - i was ever ready to start this cycle by temping and cheapo internet OPK. Then DH caught the bug and was sick from CD1 till CD10. We couldn't BD at all. Suddenly on CD9, felt cramps and then spotting. Feels like O but negative OPK and low temperature. Today is CD12 and still no sign of O and temperature is still low. Still unsure what happened on CD9. A cyst maybe? If i did O, then would have definitely miss it.

So tired from all these. How did people just relax and get pregnant?

On the bright side, am enjoying temping though it's not easy. Couldn't get up the same time to temp. Problem was not oversleeping but rather woke up too early, say 3am and then 5am?

I think this cycle am out. And won't be able to TTC next cycle as DH will be away during fertile time. Looks like Jan 2015 is our next trial.

TTC is so tough!

 

[Praying4BB]

My acupuncturist says that my FSH was high due to stress and from being on birth control for 10 years. She said that because I'm still young (I'll be 34 this week), that my eggs are fine and that I just need to get them healthy so that I have a stronger ovulation.

MJ- I wonder if that is my problem. I was on BCP for 10 years as well and during that time, my job was super stressful, lots of moving/traveling, physically and emotionally draining, lots of living in not great conditions, lots of switching from day/night shift. I'm in law school now, which, as crazy as it sounds is really not as stressful as my job used to be, so I thought this would be a perfect time to TTC. I go back to see my RE tomorrow, I might ask him about an FSH test. When your FSH was high, did you have long cycles and late ovulation?

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Hey Praying - my cycles are normally regular with the occasional late ovulation (cd 24 or 26). I only had two of those cycles with O happening after cd16, which is normal for me. And one of those two cycles was the one where I got the high FSH result. If you do get the test you have to get your blood drawn on cd3 (3rd day of AF). You should also get AMH and E2 tested on the same day. I didn't get those two tests because my OB is an idiot. I am trying to just chill out a bit about this whole ttc process because I truly believe that me stressing out about it is NOT helping. I mean, I manage to catch the egg and implant and be pregnant for a week the very first month we tried (when I was not stressed). My miscarriage caused tremendous emotional turmoil and misery for many months. I was a wreck and I am surprised by that since I wasn't pregnant long at all. It doesn't matter though...my loss still broke my heart.

 

[Praying4BB]

Hey Praying - my cycles are normally regular with the occasional late ovulation (cd 24 or 26). I only had two of those cycles with O happening after cd16, which is normal for me. And one of those two cycles was the one where I got the high FSH result. If you do get the test you have to get your blood drawn on cd3 (3rd day of AF). You should also get AMH and E2 tested on the same day. I didn't get those two tests because my OB is an idiot. I am trying to just chill out a bit about this whole ttc process because I truly believe that me stressing out about it is NOT helping. I mean, I manage to catch the egg and implant and be pregnant for a week the very first month we tried (when I was not stressed). My miscarriage caused tremendous emotional turmoil and misery for many months. I was a wreck and I am surprised by that since I wasn't pregnant long at all. It doesn't matter though...my loss still broke my heart.

I can't even imagine what you've been through... I'm so sorry. Prayers for your rainbow baby! And thank you for the advice.

 

[pihabella]

Hi ladies, can I please join this thread? I just turned 30, partner 30 also and TTC #1 on 3rd cycle now. Had my implant removed in August and had 2 cycles since then. First cycle was 35 days, second was 40. Trying vitex this time to see if it shortens my cycle a bit and regulates it, and reduces PMS symptoms. Also using OPK's this time from CD17 to see when/whether I am actually ovulating as I had 3 phases of several days of EWCM last time, which really confused me. Didn't realise getting pregnant would be this hard and draining! We have just been BDing every few days and hoping for the best. Also using preseed last and this cycle. Currently CD7! Here's hoping that this is the one!

 

[Fleur828815]

Thanks everyone. Good to have this group to vent, I’m boring my husband lol.

Had a scan yesterday (2 weeks after the D&C), there’s still some blood left in my uterus but the OB/gyn said it’s normal. No idea when my AF will be back but he advised us to wait till January to TTC again, to give us some time to recover emotionally. I told him I’m really worried it’ll happen again, he said I shouldn’t be so pessimistic, the risks are quite low, only 15%. I sooo wanted to reply “Oh as low as last time then” but managed to rein myself in. Not his fault poor guy!

MJs, I also wasn’t expecting to feel so upset, because I was only 8/9 weeks, but I suppose that in our minds we were already planning for an actual baby.

Hollyness, I like your positive approach, I hope I’ll be able to adopt that when we start trying again.

zen, you’re right about TTC being so tough for some women… I think you don’t realise exactly how hard it can be until you’re struggling.

Welcome and good luck pihabella!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Fleur - it's totally natural to be upset, even with an early loss. I agree - we were already preparing in our heads that we would have a new member of the family and it is heartbreaking when it doesn't work out. But don't lose hope! Unfortunately miscarriages are quite common, so it doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you or DH...this time you were just unlucky. I think it's good to give yourself some time to heal so that when you get pregnant again you are a bit more settled and hopefully feeling more optimistic about your chances of having a healthy pregnancy. It sounds like you have a great DH...mine is also very positive and hopeful (I'm the pessimist out of the two of us) and I'm thankful that I have him to tell me "I think it will happen - I still think we will have a baby someday".

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Good luck pihabella! I know it seems like FOREVER when you are TTC but you are still on the normal side of how long it usually takes. You only have about a 20% chance each cycle but chances are on your side that you will conceive within a year. You might want to chart or use OPKs just to confirm when you typically ovulate (and that you are in fact ovulating, which it sounds like you are if you are getting AF). Good luck!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Sorry - I just re-read your post and you are already starting to use OPKs. Duh! Well, that's good! Now you will know the best time to get busy!!

 

[bluebird44]

Hi MJ! Just wanted to chime in and say hello because DH & I will be in Napa next week too to celebrate our anniversary. Cheers! Thought it was going to be during my FW, but I am having a long cycle right now, and now it looks like it might be during AF. Ugh. Planning to start using OPKs next cycle because this one confused me and I guess I'm still regulating after coming off BCPs too.

Fleur, so sorry for your loss and sending internet hugs your way.