Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[MJsBabyShaw]

bluebird, that's so funny! Maybe we will see each other and not even know it! How many years have you and DH been together? It was very lucky that my FW will happen during our vacation - hoping it's a sign of more luck in the form of a BFP! While I'm in Napa I'm not temping or using OPK's. I'll still take my herbs, though, which are kind of a pain to prepare, but I know they are good for me so I'll just deal.

Any wineries in particular that you are planning to visit? I have Silver Oak and Darioush on my list. I have only had ONE glass of wine in the last two months because I'm trying to maximize my egg health, but next week I will be drinking DAILY! Have fun and I hope you get to enjoy Napa without AF!

 

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, Pihabella! I know how you feel, we are on cycle 4 of trying and I'm already concerned, lol! I try to remind myself that anytime within a year is normal.

So glad to see this thread so lively!

Fleur, my heart breaks for you I know how easy it is to be discouraged. I wish we could predict these things, or at least have some answers to our whys. I hope that you and your OH are able to recover emotionally and get your rainbow baby soon

 

[Praying4BB]

Any wineries in particular that you are planning to visit? I have Silver Oak and Darioush on my list. I have only had ONE glass of wine in the last two months because I'm trying to maximize my egg health, but next week I will be drinking DAILY! Have fun and I hope you get to enjoy Napa without AF!

Napa-going ladies, I recommend going to Mumm if you like champagne!! I'll be here for you thank me later

AFM, had an ultrasound today and confirmed ovulation from one (and possibly a second!) follicule. I must have had a super short surge and the OPKs didn't pick it up this time. What a relief! We didn't have great timing, but I will always hold out for a miracle ninja BFP! It would truly have to be a miracle since we BD'd for the last time 4-5 days before O. RE said sperm can live up to five days. In my head I was quoting Dumb and Dumber... "so you're saying there's a chance..."

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

"so you're saying there's a chance". OMG that was perfect! Well hopefully your DH has some super and you get your bfp!

 

[pihabella]

Napa sounds fantastic! I am hoping to get away with my partner camping in the next few weeks to have a break (summer here in Australia) and do a few walks. Need to clear my head a bit as I am also trying to write my PhD at the moment (gah so over it!!). My OPKs and internet cheapie 10miu POAS are in the mail, can't wait to give it a good go this month as next one will be a bit harder as we will be travelling to the Phillipines and NZ to stay with family. Any suggestions about timing BD when I get positive OPK? New to this. I have looked at SMEP but it seems targeted towards couples who have miscarried and therefore know there are no issues with sperm etc?
Good luck with the TWW Praying4BB!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Pihabella - you should Bd every other day starting on Cd8. When you get your OPK + continue to bd every other day until 4 days after your + OPK. The most important time is actually BEFORE you O and the day of ovulation. You want to get some sperm in there waiting for the egg to drop!!

 

[Hollynesss]

Woohoo, happy TWW, praying!!

Pihabella, MJ hit the nail on the head The most important days to BD are the four days leading up to O. Since it can be difficult to know when that is, you cover your bases by BDing every other day from the second week in your cycle. Fingers crossed for you!

 

[zen108]

Thanks everyone. Good to have this group to vent, I’m boring my husband lol.

Had a scan yesterday (2 weeks after the D&C), there’s still some blood left in my uterus but the OB/gyn said it’s normal. No idea when my AF will be back but he advised us to wait till January to TTC again, to give us some time to recover emotionally. I told him I’m really worried it’ll happen again, he said I shouldn’t be so pessimistic, the risks are quite low, only 15%. I sooo wanted to reply “Oh as low as last time then” but managed to rein myself in. Not his fault poor guy!

MJs, I also wasn’t expecting to feel so upset, because I was only 8/9 weeks, but I suppose that in our minds we were already planning for an actual baby.

Hollyness, I like your positive approach, I hope I’ll be able to adopt that when we start trying again.

zen, you’re right about TTC being so tough for some women… I think you don’t realise exactly how hard it can be until you’re struggling.

Welcome and good luck pihabella!

Hi Fleur. I know how you feel. I had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks in Jan 2013. It was heartbreaking. So much so that it took us 9 months to try again and that was a big mistake.

So, please do try again when the Obgyn give you the green light. Don't wait any longer.

A month after the D&C, I have some leftover blood in my uterus and my body started contracting badly to get it out. Obgyn have to soften my cervix with an abortion pill to let the blood out. AF only came when HCG is zero, i.e when the pregnancy blood is all gone. So, for me AF only came after 2 months of D&C.

After that, my uterus was never the same. There was a very bad pain each time AF came, only on CD3. I suspected scarring tissues. Not only that, I could not conceive from then till now. The Obgyn advised us to try immediately. But I was too upset with the loss, we could not go through it so soon. We waited and waited.

Miraculously, after the HSG this time, the pain went off completely. I am hoping that's a good sign.

Not trying to scare you, I am sure you are in good hands. Just that I went to a really lousy Obgyn.

I feel a loss of a baby, doesn't matter how early or late in a pregnancy, is still heartbreaking. Especially when we are already emotionally attached to the baby in the womb and started talking to him/her. I wouldn't wish this to happen even to my greatest enemy.

I read somewhere that this kind of miscarriage is usually chromosomal defect. And this defect is due to poor egg quality, not sperm. But Obgyns usually would only test after 3 consecutive losses, which to me is crazy!!!

It's ok to be upset and DH must be supportive. It's an emotional turmoil and difficult time now. Take time to grief and when Jan 2015 comes, do try again.

 

[Fleur828815]

Thank you, it helps so much to have this forum and you ladies. In "real life" it feels like almost everyone expects me to have moved on already. Even my husband, who’s very sweet and supportive, was shocked the other day when I told him I still cry sometimes, he didn’t realise I was still upset about it – it had been less than 2 weeks since the D&C !

Hollyness, we know that up to a year of TTC is normal but women trying for a baby aren’t known for being the most patient

Praying, keeping everything crossed for a BFP! Sperm DOES live up to 5 days (and even longer for a colleague of mine’s husband – 8 days if she’s right!).

Pihabella, the previous commenters have said it all – you need to try up till the day you ovulate. Every 2 days should be enough, more if you feel like it. My friend advised me to do it every day… We did the time I fell pregnant but I certainly can’t do that every single month!

Zen, thanks so much for your insight. What a horrible experience you went through I can understand why you were wary of trying again rapidly but I'll heed your advice and start in January if my cycles have settled down.
Have you changed OB/gyns? I’m glad you’re not in pain anymore when AF comes, and I really hope you’ll be getting a BFP / healthy pregnancy / healthy baby VERY SOON.

My OB/gyn is supposed to be one of the best in my (small) country, and I do feel comfortable with him. He also told me it was probably a chromosomal defect and to relax about next time, but argh! I asked him if he’ll at least do a blood test next time to check if my levels are normal, he said there’s no need. And he said to wait till 8 weeks for my first scan (instead of starting from 4 weeks lol), and just avoid stressing… yeah, not likely!

Do you know if there’s any way to improve egg quality? My mom said Vitamin E is supposed to be good, I’m willing to try anything!

 

[zen108]

Yes, I m seeing a Fertility Specialist now. She advised me to take Vit D and calcium for egg quality.

 

[KatO79]

So just got back from our first appointment with the fertility clinic

My hormone levels are all normal, for my age. So that's good DH needs to get a new SA done at the clinic as the ones he got done didn't specify how many are super mobile or something So he'll be giving a sample to the clinic on Friday so they can conduct they're own test and get more results as the ones they got from the lab weren't good enough. But based on the results of the ones he got done at the lab, it looked fine to her. The ultrasound looked good and it looks like my lining was good and that she could see I clearly Oed recently and fit in with my O date of November 1st.

So all in all very positive news She's guessing we'll need IUI but I need to get a HSG done so they're 100% sure.

 

[Fleur828815]

Great news Kat, you must be so relieved Glad that you've got the ball rolling now. You're on track for a 2015 bay, yay

Thanks zen, I live in a very sunny country so Vit D shouldn't be a problem, but I'll try to up my calcium intake. Can't hurt to try !

 

[KatO79]

Great news Kat, you must be so relieved Glad that you've got the ball rolling now. You're on track for a 2015 bay, yay

Thanks zen, I live in a very sunny country so Vit D shouldn't be a problem, but I'll try to up my calcium intake. Can't hurt to try !

Very, I've been driving myself nuts speculating if my hormones are wonky or my lining is too thin and that's why we've had problems but nope, I'm in the clear in those respects Just need to make sure my tubes are free before we start (earliest December otherwise January due to the clinic being closed during the Christmas and New Years holidays) but our RE is pretty sure they are based on my medical info, she just needs to be 100% sure.

Oh that reminds me, she told us I need to take (DH is also welcome to do the same) more Vit D, the 10 mcg in the pregnancy vitamins I take isn't enough so she suggested I up my dose to 35 mcg and also up my Vit C does to 500 mcg, I think both for egg quality or maybe it was just the Vit D for egg quality and Vit C for something else. So maybe you'd like to try that as well? Hope you're doing ok, I can't imagine how emotionally painful it must be I had a tough enough time dealing with my chemical, would be so much more upset if I was going through the same as you.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Kat, that is great news!! Maybe now that you know there is nothing wrong you will be a little less worried and less stress is good for making babies! The other thing that you can hold onto is that you ARE able to get pregnant...that is a really good thing. So even though your one BFP didn't result in a take-home baby, at least you know it is possible for your egg to be fertilized and to implant. Your baby might just take a bit longer....I know it's so hard to wait, but I really think that 2015 will be our years! Whether that mean getting our BFP's or holding our babies...I'll take either one at this point!

 

[KatO79]

Kat, that is great news!! Maybe now that you know there is nothing wrong you will be a little less worried and less stress is good for making babies! The other thing that you can hold onto is that you ARE able to get pregnant...that is a really good thing. So even though your one BFP didn't result in a take-home baby, at least you know it is possible for your egg to be fertilized and to implant. Your baby might just take a bit longer....I know it's so hard to wait, but I really think that 2015 will be our years! Whether that mean getting our BFP's or holding our babies...I'll take either one at this point!

Oh it's lifted a weight off my shoulders Now I can also let my MIL (plus the rest of my in-law family) and my narcissistic mother know it's most likely not my "fault" (as our RE doubts my tubes are blocked) Here's hoping it'll help me and DH conceive naturally but otherwise I'm looking forward to starting treatments, except the hormones which will be injectables

Think I'll take either one as well

Here's hoping it happens for all of us soon

 

[Praying4BB]

Yay Kat!!! Great news!

 

[zen108]

Great news kat! Hope you get a BFP soon!

 

[bluebird44]

bluebird, that's so funny! Maybe we will see each other and not even know it! How many years have you and DH been together? It was very lucky that my FW will happen during our vacation - hoping it's a sign of more luck in the form of a BFP! While I'm in Napa I'm not temping or using OPK's. I'll still take my herbs, though, which are kind of a pain to prepare, but I know they are good for me so I'll just deal.

Any wineries in particular that you are planning to visit? I have Silver Oak and Darioush on my list. I have only had ONE glass of wine in the last two months because I'm trying to maximize my egg health, but next week I will be drinking DAILY! Have fun and I hope you get to enjoy Napa without AF!

This is to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, but we've been together for 4 years. I'm obsessing a little right now over data, so I will temp and OPK while we are there unless AF comes. Hoping she will show up this week instead, but FF is predicting arrival on the 2nd day of our trip.

We plan to visit Franciscan because I love their Chardonnay, and Sterling because people say the gondola is cool if you have never been there before. I am extremely impressed that you have been abstaining from wine the last couple of months - when I finally get the BFP my friends will instantly know because I won't have a wine glass in my hand!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

bluebird, that's so funny! Maybe we will see each other and not even know it! How many years have you and DH been together? It was very lucky that my FW will happen during our vacation - hoping it's a sign of more luck in the form of a BFP! While I'm in Napa I'm not temping or using OPK's. I'll still take my herbs, though, which are kind of a pain to prepare, but I know they are good for me so I'll just deal.

Any wineries in particular that you are planning to visit? I have Silver Oak and Darioush on my list. I have only had ONE glass of wine in the last two months because I'm trying to maximize my egg health, but next week I will be drinking DAILY! Have fun and I hope you get to enjoy Napa without AF!

This is to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, but we've been together for 4 years. I'm obsessing a little right now over data, so I will temp and OPK while we are there unless AF comes. Hoping she will show up this week instead, but FF is predicting arrival on the 2nd day of our trip.

We plan to visit Franciscan because I love their Chardonnay, and Sterling because people say the gondola is cool if you have never been there before. I am extremely impressed that you have been abstaining from wine the last couple of months - when I finally get the BFP my friends will instantly know because I won't have a wine glass in my hand!

We went to Franciscan the last time we went and it was nice. I've never been to Sterling, but maybe I'll add it to my list! I highly recommend visiting Castello di Amorosa - the wine was just okay, but the castle was AMAZING. So worth the tour - just beautiful. I felt like was back in old Europe!
As for me abstaining....whenever I drank wine the next day my temps would be off, so on the advice of my acupuncturist I decided to just take a break from drinking. It hasn't been that hard, but I do miss my glass of wine in the evenings.

 

[Hollynesss]

Great news, Kat!!