Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[star_e]

So, I'm almost positive that I O'd earlier than FF says because when I checked cervix this evening I'm getting red/pink. Which usually happens about a day or two days before AF, so I think I probably O'd the day after the +OPK.

This also probably means AF is soon to come and I was not successful this cycle.

Star - It's always best to start temping at the beginning of a cycle, but if you are taking provera and then waiting for AF I would start temping now just ot get the hang of it (maybe not record necessarily). It can take some practice to make sure to temp at the right time, and make sure to get a thermometer that is effective etc. I know its ounds like it should be so easy, but my first two cycles temping weren't really very effective. Took me awhile to "get it right", I guess.

if you have any tips to share about getting it right, id much appreciate hearing about them. i need to practice entering it into FF and just practice using the thermometer as i have never used it before. is it hard to do this?

i hope your cycle was successful and the AF isn't coming. i take it you will know very soon. i'll hold out hope, keep us updated. thanks for sharing.

 

[Angel5000]

Star - it isn't really hard to do, it's more a matter of taking the temp at the same time every day and getting used to reading the chart. FF will do most of the work for you, but the biggest thing I've noticed is making sure to temp at the same time every day, even on weekends/days off (I have a quiet alarm that goes off and I temp and then go back to sleep). If you get a thermometer with a memory that's better because then you can go back to sleep afterwards. Some thermometers have just a "flash memory" where the next time you turn it on it will flash the previous temp for about 3 seconds and then it's gone. That's what I used my first 10 months and it wasn't bad but if I wasn't quite awake enough when I turned it back on, or if something distracted me then i missed my temp and it was a real problem. That's where it takes some getting used to. It can be frustrating when you are in the cycle and the temps actually "matter" and you feel like you are missing them or you mess up with that and don't get to record the temp that day. Now I Try not to let it stress me out but when i started it was stressful so that's why I say that starting early is a good way to just get practice in taking it at the same time, and getting into the routine, and checking and recording and stuff.

I eventually went ahead and invested in a more expensive BBT that has a 50 temp memory so that I can just look back at the temps without having to worry about the flashing thing. It saved me a lot of anxiety.

 

[Jezika]

Star_e - you're so sweet for asking after me. Here's what I wrote on a different thread, about Monday, though I definitely felt so, so much better today. In fact, it's like night and day:

Went to the doc, which sucked 'cause the resident I'd seen on Friday was also there... she'd said "congratulations!" when I had told her I was pregnant, and my whole appt yesterday was supposed to be to find out what to do next, so it truly sucked having to tell her that the reason I was there had changed to MC. Obviously I cried, 'cause the moment anyone shows me a smidgen of empathy, I cry. Sometimes even if nothing is wrong if it's that time of the month. Anyway, they sent me off for an urgent u/s to rule out ectopic (because of my one-sided pains), which was traumatic enough in itself having the u/s wand painfully digging around while I bled heavily and tried to think of sadder things than an MC in order not to cry. Luckily the technician was a stern Eastern European woman, so I didn't have the whole empathy problem (plus my mum is also a stern Eastern European woman, so I like the no-nonsense attitude). Then I went for a blood test to make sure the HCG comes down over the next few days. I'm guessing if the u/s had shown ectopic, the doc there would've spoken to me, so I'm sure it's fine. But really what's surprised me is my reaction to all this. I came home and cried for two hours straight. Like properly sobbed. I feel like maybe 40% of it was negative irrational thoughts like "why me," "I'm a failure," "I am helpless" and "this will keep happening and I won't be able to handle it," as well as just being almost disgusted by and ashamed of my body because it had betrayed me (I just wanted everything inside me to get the hell out of me), and then 60% just the crash of hormones I'm sure. I know all my thoughts were irrational even at the time, but I just couldn't help it. I've not felt that sad in a long, long time and I'm still shocked by my emotional reaction and that it was in response to only one week of BFP. I knew the risks, after all.

I am feeling a lot better today. Mind you, I've felt okay in the mornings and things just seem to go downhill, but today I am hoping it will stick. My best friend also happens to be on vacay this week so I think it made it harder. Yesterday I was convinced I don't want to TTC for a real long time because I'm not emotionally up to that, and in fact anything to do with TTC just made me feel sadder (including this forum, which is unfortunate because it's so full of support). Anyway, it helped to realize that even though I may feel and think a certain way today, it doesn't mean I will feel and think this way tomorrow, next week, next month or whenever. I think we probably will try again straight away (I'm feeling optimistic right in this moment at least) but I'm not putting pressure on myself to decide. Though supportive, of course DH is fine after all this. Men are so lucky to get away without all the physical stuff! I did start temping again... I've been forcing myself to not avoid (avoidance is almost seen as a sin in psychology, which is what I'm studying) and it's been better than I thought. At this point I'm not emotionally tied to my temps so it's nice to ease back in. It's also helped to keep busy.

 

[KatO79]

Jezika I'm so sorry it ended as a CP, I know how much those hurt I hope you soon get your sticky bean very soon

AFM I was at my 8 week scan today if anybody wants to see the pic:

Spoiler

Saw the heart beat and everything was looking fine

 

[MrsRose168]

Jezika, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have felt and worried about all of those exact same things and it's completely normal. It gets better every day, but that's not to say there aren't still moments of sadness or tears. Wishing you all the best!

 

[MrsRose168]

Had blood testing done yesterday and they took 15 vials from me and only 2 from DH, lol! Unfortunately the nurse said it can take a month to get the results back, although the dr told me 7-10 days. Maybe the 7-10 days is just for one of the tests...they tested us for genetic carrier mapping, karyotyping (looks for chromosomal abnormalities), and tested me for blood clot issues. We shall see!

My dr asked me to not ttc until we get the results back, but I don't see why. Even if we get some abnormal results, there's a chance for a viable pregnancy so I don't really understand why she wants us to wait. From what I've read, couples with abnormal results are told to just keep trying...or try via IVF. So I think we're just gonna go for it this month and see what happens.

 

[Angel5000]

Jezika - oh Hun!! Everything you are going through is perfectly normal. I am glad you are trying to keep from avoiding because that won't help and at least temping is an easy way to ease back in.

Kat - that is awesome!! So exciting!! ❤️

 

[star_e]

Star_e - you're so sweet for asking after me. Here's what I wrote on a different thread, about Monday, though I definitely felt so, so much better today. In fact, it's like night and day:

Went to the doc, which sucked 'cause the resident I'd seen on Friday was also there... she'd said "congratulations!" when I had told her I was pregnant, and my whole appt yesterday was supposed to be to find out what to do next, so it truly sucked having to tell her that the reason I was there had changed to MC. Obviously I cried, 'cause the moment anyone shows me a smidgen of empathy, I cry. Sometimes even if nothing is wrong if it's that time of the month. Anyway, they sent me off for an urgent u/s to rule out ectopic (because of my one-sided pains), which was traumatic enough in itself having the u/s wand painfully digging around while I bled heavily and tried to think of sadder things than an MC in order not to cry. Luckily the technician was a stern Eastern European woman, so I didn't have the whole empathy problem (plus my mum is also a stern Eastern European woman, so I like the no-nonsense attitude). Then I went for a blood test to make sure the HCG comes down over the next few days. I'm guessing if the u/s had shown ectopic, the doc there would've spoken to me, so I'm sure it's fine. But really what's surprised me is my reaction to all this. I came home and cried for two hours straight. Like properly sobbed. I feel like maybe 40% of it was negative irrational thoughts like "why me," "I'm a failure," "I am helpless" and "this will keep happening and I won't be able to handle it," as well as just being almost disgusted by and ashamed of my body because it had betrayed me (I just wanted everything inside me to get the hell out of me), and then 60% just the crash of hormones I'm sure. I know all my thoughts were irrational even at the time, but I just couldn't help it. I've not felt that sad in a long, long time and I'm still shocked by my emotional reaction and that it was in response to only one week of BFP. I knew the risks, after all.

I am feeling a lot better today. Mind you, I've felt okay in the mornings and things just seem to go downhill, but today I am hoping it will stick. My best friend also happens to be on vacay this week so I think it made it harder. Yesterday I was convinced I don't want to TTC for a real long time because I'm not emotionally up to that, and in fact anything to do with TTC just made me feel sadder (including this forum, which is unfortunate because it's so full of support). Anyway, it helped to realize that even though I may feel and think a certain way today, it doesn't mean I will feel and think this way tomorrow, next week, next month or whenever. I think we probably will try again straight away (I'm feeling optimistic right in this moment at least) but I'm not putting pressure on myself to decide. Though supportive, of course DH is fine after all this. Men are so lucky to get away without all the physical stuff! I did start temping again... I've been forcing myself to not avoid (avoidance is almost seen as a sin in psychology, which is what I'm studying) and it's been better than I thought. At this point I'm not emotionally tied to my temps so it's nice to ease back in. It's also helped to keep busy.

jezika, i am so sorry to hear about the mc. that is awful, and very sad. you articulated the ups and downs of the ttc journey very clearly in your post. my heart goes out to you and i completely understand the desire to want to take a break and the empowerment that comes from deciding you do not have to decide now. you may feel different tomorrow, just like you may feel different in the morning than in the afternoon. i am glad the mornings have been good for you. that's nice to hear.

empathy from others also has the effect of intensifying my emotions as well. its a moment of being understood and the understanding allows me to be able to more freely express myself. i cried a lot yesterday and it was helpful. yesterday i was having a tough time. this is what i posted on another thread.

i am not feeling well at all. today i have been sad, an unusual sense of sadness. not hopeful or excited, just at low ebb. i had to force myself to go outside and stand in the sun for a bit. its like my body was begging me to give it some sunshine. i have never felt an impulse to stand in the sun like this, ever in my life. i stood in the sun for 20 minutes and it helped. but as soon as i got back indoors i felt sick again. i later just started crying. if my stomach could articulate its feelings, it would have said it felt lost, as if i had fed it something it could not recognize. but i ate a normal diet today.

then it struck me that all of this is mostly likely the result of the progesterone tablet which i started taking last night. it is different than the provera pill that my obgyn gave me on my last cycle. the obgyn gave me the provera and i swallowed the pill for 10 days, i dont remember how many mg it was though. but the FS gave me a progesterone tablet, she called it prometrium (don't know how to spell it) that i insert vaginally and its 100mg. she gave me this b/c she said it had less side effects. the provera made me moody and irritable, but this makes me feel nauseous and very sad. i would rather be grumpy and irritable than feel the way i am feeling right now--lost at sea + sea sick.

i hope that my body will get used to it and it wont feel this bad in a few days. otherwise it is going to be very hard for me to get through the next days. i am going to ask to be put on the provera for the next cycle. i really hope this goes away soon.

update: today was better. i am still very sad though. not hopeful. but its not just about ttc. its a general sort of sadness. at least i did not have the nausea. i can walk about and not feel overwhelmed with a shaky stomach. i will take sadness over the feeling of nausea anyday.

 

[star_e]

Star - it isn't really hard to do, it's more a matter of taking the temp at the same time every day and getting used to reading the chart. FF will do most of the work for you, but the biggest thing I've noticed is making sure to temp at the same time every day, even on weekends/days off (I have a quiet alarm that goes off and I temp and then go back to sleep). If you get a thermometer with a memory that's better because then you can go back to sleep afterwards. Some thermometers have just a "flash memory" where the next time you turn it on it will flash the previous temp for about 3 seconds and then it's gone. That's what I used my first 10 months and it wasn't bad but if I wasn't quite awake enough when I turned it back on, or if something distracted me then i missed my temp and it was a real problem. That's where it takes some getting used to. It can be frustrating when you are in the cycle and the temps actually "matter" and you feel like you are missing them or you mess up with that and don't get to record the temp that day. Now I Try not to let it stress me out but when i started it was stressful so that's why I say that starting early is a good way to just get practice in taking it at the same time, and getting into the routine, and checking and recording and stuff.

I eventually went ahead and invested in a more expensive BBT that has a 50 temp memory so that I can just look back at the temps without having to worry about the flashing thing. It saved me a lot of anxiety.

Angel, thank you so much for the heads about the temping and practicing, etc! i got a thermometer with a memory in case i forget to write it down. will it throw the entire thing off i dont temp at exactly the same time? is there a leeway. there is one day out of the week that i have to wake up very early and i cannot set my alarm that early for that one day. i can try to be fairly consistent for the other days.

 

[Jezika]

All of you, thank you for being so kind, empathic and supportive. It makes a world of difference

Star_e - what you wrote about how you've been feeling is a pretty good account of how I had been feeling once the really strong emotions began to subside... I just felt at a low ebb like you said. It was a kind of emotional flatness at best and just a deep sadness at worst, a sadness that wasn't really linked to anything in particular, just an all-encompassing feeling. I absolutely believe it's largely hormone induced. Actually, my mum was telling me just last week that when we ovulate and estrogen is in control, we feel on top of the world, and then progesterone brings us down (I didn't fact-check the science behind this, mind you). And when something hormonal happens that's out of the ordinary, I'm sure the effect is a lot more pronounced. When I think of it like that, I can kind of see it as a neat and intriguing thing, how we usually feel we are so in control but are very much ruled by these biological things inside us. On a somewhat related note, if you need a lift, you should watch a documentary called Happiness on Netflix if you've not seen it already. I watched it a while back and it really lifted me up for a few days and shifted my view on what I should be searching for in life.

Also, re: temping, I think you definitely have leeway with timings. I think it's hard to be perfect at it and from what I've read on the FF site they strongly encourage you to leave imperfect temps in rather than exclude them because their algorithms will still probably work just fine. I actually temped at several different times last month with different amounts of sleep and also illness (which I am seeing now probably raised my pre-O temps), but I still got crosshairs, timed ovulation well and obv. got pregnant (which I guess, despite what happened, is a good thing!).

 

[Angel5000]

Well, FF says I'm 9DPO. I guess I did O when FF says because if I had O'd any earlier AF would be here (or maybe a day away sine my LP is about 10-11 days). When I check my cervix today I'm not getting any CM at all and cervix is low and firm, but also no more of the light pink tint either. :/ I really do think I'm out. But now I guess we get to see how long my LP is. I had one crazy month where I got a 14 day LP (but no BFP, not even a CP) so FF is telling me to test Sunday. I'll probably test Friday afternoon if no AF by then.

Star - I hope you are feeling better emotionally! As for temps, it will not throw it way off if you cannot set it for the exact time every day. Typically if it is more than 30 minutes difference from your normal time then FF will mark it with an open circle instead of a solid dot, indicating that temp is not as accurate. If it's only once a week it shouldn't throw it off too bad. How much earlier do you have to get up that one day?

 

[KatO79]

Also, re: temping, I think you definitely have leeway with timings. I think it's hard to be perfect at it and from what I've read on the FF site they strongly encourage you to leave imperfect temps in rather than exclude them because their algorithms will still probably work just fine. I actually temped at several different times last month with different amounts of sleep and also illness (which I am seeing now probably raised my pre-O temps), but I still got crosshairs, timed ovulation well and obv. got pregnant (which I guess, despite what happened, is a good thing!).

I think that that's probably a good way to think about it. As much as a CP hurts, it's proof that you can get pregnant. You were just unlucky this time and there was in all likelihood chromosomal abnormalities in the embie which meant the baby wasn't viable which your body recognised. The vast majority of CPs are due to chromosomal abnormalities from what I've read. I think lots of women have experienced a CP or 2 before getting their sticky. One CP doesn't mean you won't be able to conceive again or have a healthy baby! Plenty of women have CPs and go on to have healthy babies afterwards. Hopefully your sticky BFP is just around the corner

 

[Lara baby]

Hi everyone! My husband and I just started TTC and we are in our first cycle I am sooo excited at the journey ahead!!

My periods are regular and always on time thankfully, which makes it a bit easier to track. I have been taking my BBT and charting them the entire cycle and I seem to be on 6 dpo.

I know that these things take time, and that I shouldn't think too much about it, but I am finding myself googling every little "symptom", which to my surprise everything is!!

So, my question to you ladies is: How do you keep your sanity???

In the meantime, I'd like to wish you all the very best

 

[Lara baby]

I'm 31 and DH is 34! This is our first cycle of TTC. I am ssoooooo excitedddd!! I just can't contain myself! Annnnddd.... I'd rather not say anything to the people in my life because then it becomes this big thing and puts more pressure on us!

My DH says it is best if we do not obsess over things, and I know he is right!! BUUTTT I have no idea how I can not think about it! Thankfully I found this site and I can vent a bit

Best wishes to all! x

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

I'm 31 and DH is 34! This is our first cycle of TTC. I am ssoooooo excitedddd!! I just can't contain myself! Annnnddd.... I'd rather not say anything to the people in my life because then it becomes this big thing and puts more pressure on us!

My DH says it is best if we do not obsess over things, and I know he is right!! BUUTTT I have no idea how I can not think about it! Thankfully I found this site and I can vent a bit

Best wishes to all! x

Welcome. FX for you. I'm 31 and DH is 32 and we just started TTC as well.

 

[Angel5000]

Woke up to AF this morning. Actually, more like woke upa t 2am to incredibly painful cramping, which didn't stop for several hours. I'm not supposed to take anything except tylonel because of my other meds (I am supposed to avoid NSAIDs) but tylonel wasn't cutting it so I finally took an aleve around 4am and was able to get another hour of sleep before the alarm went off. Needless to say I'm incredibly tired, and grouchy today. Looks like it might just be spotting at first glance this morning but the painful cramping implies it's probably going to hit full blown in an hour or two, that's what happened last cycle.

On to cycle #14.

I'm 31 and DH is 34! This is our first cycle of TTC. I am ssoooooo excitedddd!! I just can't contain myself! Annnnddd.... I'd rather not say anything to the people in my life because then it becomes this big thing and puts more pressure on us!

My DH says it is best if we do not obsess over things, and I know he is right!! BUUTTT I have no idea how I can not think about it! Thankfully I found this site and I can vent a bit

Best wishes to all! x

Welcome!! I'm 30 and DH is 31. Hopefully you get your sticky bean quickly. As for sanity..... it can be hard. This board helps a lot.

 

[KatO79]

Sorry it was AF Angel, FXed for cycle #14

 

[MrsRose168]

Dang it, Angel! Sorry your cramps are so awful. I had that happen to me last month--so strong they woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep for hours.

AFM, CD12 and nothing going on yet. Stark white OPK yesterday, which is to be expected since the earliest I've O'd is CD18. I was hoping the Pregnancy Prep would help move up my O date but looks like that may not happen.

 

[Jezika]

Kat - you're right in all you say and I'm beginning to feel a lot more positive about things. Just hope if it happens again I can take it in my stride and handle it rationally, but I don't have much faith in myself! Btw, I love your scan pic!

Angel - booo to AF and bad cramping. That's the worst when you're trying to sleep.

Mrs. Rose - are your cycles pretty short?

Lara Baby - DH and I are similar in age to you guys and also started trying very recently. And I definitely also symptom spotted the first cycle! I quit that a bit with the second cycle, but it was hard not to become consumed by the TTC world. My suggestion is to use these boards for information and support, but try to also have plenty of other day-to-day things to do that are nothing to do with TTC. If I didn't have school, I'd probably be occupied with TTC stuff at every waking hour, which is fine, but can be very stressful when things don't go as planned. You're in the right place, though. These ladies are awesome

 

[angelbride]

Hi everyone. I'm new here also. Hi Lara.

I'm 35 and TTC#1. Feeling excited and hopeful. I'm on CD20 though and still no O, but I'm getting EWCM and LH surge on CB OPK. So maybe soon?

It's my first month trying and tracking everything and only been off BC for 7 weeks, so no idea what a real cycle will look like for me. Nervous about lutel phase since I'm Oing so late...but mostly feeling excited!

Baby dust and best wishes to everyone here.