Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Hollynesss]

Mine will get slightly darker the closer I get, but it is usually a sudden strong positve.

 

[Fleur828815]

Praying4BB, any news ?

I think I’m too lazy to track my temps, not that BBT’s are available where I live! I have no idea when my AF will show up but I’ll start using OPKs when we’re TTCing again, hopefully in December/ January.

Kat, do you get along well with your siblings? Does it help to talk about all this with them? You might have to take the same stance as them someday and just give up on trying to maintain a relationship, although I appreciate how hard it might be actually making that decision and sticking to it.

Hollyness, sorry that your mother is getting worse. I hope things will work out alright for all of you even if you have her move in with you.

Hoping for BFPs for zen, Hollyness and whoever else is about to ovulate!

 

[zen108]

How u feeling now Fleur?

 

[KatO79]

Praying4BB, any news ?

I think I’m too lazy to track my temps, not that BBT’s are available where I live! I have no idea when my AF will show up but I’ll start using OPKs when we’re TTCing again, hopefully in December/ January.

Kat, do you get along well with your siblings? Does it help to talk about all this with them? You might have to take the same stance as them someday and just give up on trying to maintain a relationship, although I appreciate how hard it might be actually making that decision and sticking to it.

Hollyness, sorry that your mother is getting worse. I hope things will work out alright for all of you even if you have her move in with you.

Hoping for BFPs for zen, Hollyness and whoever else is about to ovulate!

Unfortunately the brother whom I'm closest to doesn't ever want to talk about things. My sister is more interested but she's also not been raised by our mother so she has no idea what it's like. My oldest brother I'm a bit estranged from as he never got back to me on if he was coming to my wedding, our mother called him after the RSVP date and he said he most likely wasn't coming since he might have a bus tour that day and needed the money for his eldests private school then we never heard from him, no definite answer, not even a card congratulating me or anything I can well imagine if I'd done the same to him, he'd have been really mad. I forgot to mention one of my other brothers died back in 1993 of AIDS. There is one last brother but no one is in contact with him at all, I've never met him or even know what he looks like My cousin is empathetic as her mother (my mother's sister) is also mentally ill and I believe suffers from the same mental illness. But we're not all that close and speak at most 1 a month, mostly via email. There is another cousin but that's more complicated, don't think he's in much contact with anybody as his controlling wife only wants contact with her family and not his. They also declined quickly when I did invite them to the wedding, even writing ther declination pr. email to DH to avoid contacting me. So all in all, not a close family. But I think that's pretty normal when a parent suffers from NPD.

The only reason I even gave her another chance is because DH pretty much pressured me into it as he was afraid I'd regret cutting her out later in life and I don't think he fully understood how toxic she really is or her inability to change her behaviour. He understands better now so I'm free to drop her next time she crosses the line by screaming or otherwise being a drama queen and really being abusive.

AFM TTC-wise, I'm 9 dpo and not feeling too optimistic but then that's how I've felt the last 3 months or so The only slightly promising sign is I'm dripping watery CM like during my chemical but I also sometimes have watery CM on BFN cycles so not expecting anything I'm just looking forward to being able to start IUI so we have a btter chance at seeing our BFP but doubt we can start before January due to the clinic being closed over the Christmas/New Year's holdays

 

[Fleur828815]

I see you don't have the easiest family set-up Your DH sounds very supportive though! I think he was right to insist you try one last time, now he knows what she's like, and you'll also know you gave it your all if it ever comes to cutting her off for your own sake.

I also had watery CM just before my BFP ! If you don't get a BFP this month, enjoy these last couple of months eating and drinking whatever you like because hopefully soon you won't be able to

 

[Fleur828815]

Thanks for asking zen. We're moving this week so I'm being kept busy (except that we decided to move to a nicer place for the baby we lost and now it feels a bit pointless). On the surface I'm doing better but when I wake up there's a few seconds where I feel like weeping thinking of the baby (my DH said I've cried a few times during my sleep and talked about it), or at random times during the day. I'm looking forward to TTCing again but I've convinced myself it will take forever or there's something wrong with me and it's never going to work I'm so scared of going through this again, I wonder how women cope when they have recurrent miscarriages.

Today is 3 weeks since my D&C, I did a pregnancy test yesterday and got a faint positive Just 2 months ago I was overjoyed when I got a BFP, now I just wish my body would get rid of those pregnancy hormones so my cycles can come back. My OB/gyn said I can try again from January but I'm in limbo right now.

 

[Praying4BB]

Praying4BB, any news ?

QUOTE]

Ahhhh, girls, I am such a test wimp! I haven't tested yet. I just don't want to deal with any bad news right now. I guess I've decided no news is good news? I mean, there is really NO way, okay maybe there is a way, but it's like a 2% chance if you BD 4/5 days before O !! I'm 13/14 DPO now. Temps are still up, I had more watery brown spotting this morning when I woke up, but just had a ton of white watery cm (sorry tmi). I have been feeling very "hot" for the past few days which is definitely something new for this cycle, but I've been attributing it to the Clomid fixing my progesterone issues.

Seriously. If I get a BFP this cycle, DH gets of the year award!

Fleur- I'm glad you are able to stay busy with the move, I know that must help to keep your mind off things. Prayers that your body will recover soon and fully and January will be your month!

Happy BD'ing to all of you approaching O! And Kat- really hope this is our month!!!!!

 

[KatO79]

I see you don't have the easiest family set-up Your DH sounds very supportive though! I think he was right to insist you try one last time, now he knows what she's like, and you'll also know you gave it your all if it ever comes to cutting her off for your own sake.

I also had watery CM just before my BFP ! If you don't get a BFP this month, enjoy these last couple of months eating and drinking whatever you like because hopefully soon you won't be able to

Nope this family isn't very close, guess it's do to the mentally ill matriarchs. DH is although his failure to understand my mother's mental illness made for a bit of a bumpy ride at one point in our relationship I told him if he couldn't understand then we needed to get a hold of my old therapist and get her to explain it for him so he gets it. Finally I think he's seeing how ill she is as after having read an article about narcissistic grandmothers (which is what she'll be for our child) he was all for not leaving her to babysit or be alone with our child. Not that she sounds interested in having much to do with our child anyway, she recently bought a new car and told the seller it didn't matter to her about space for grandchildren in the back of the car when he asked, looking at us at one point She was also warned that if she starts acting nuts again, then I'm out.

Yeah my CM makes me a bit hopeful but I think my chemical and numerous BFPs have made me a bit negative My chances at the moment are around 6% or something according to my age and how long I've been trying. But one can always hope for a miracle. Think I'm slightly more hopeful for next cycle as I'll have my HSG done.

I gave up alcohol last October when we started TTCing (although I do have a couple of glasses of wine when AF is here) and already am careful of what I eat so things won't be much different when I do see my BFP My thinking has been that at my age I don't want to push things as I know the risk for the baby having e.g. Downs and the like increase with age. My biggest problem is avoiding salt licorice as I've heard that can be bad and I love it, especially the Haribo Piratos ones

Thanks so much Fleur for talking about this with me I was actually a bit nervous of mentioning it here as I know some people have a very hard time admiting that not all mothers are selfless and loving

I'm sorry that you're going through this miscarriage, I think I'd be just as upset as you are I know the feeling that maybe there's something wrong with your body and you feel like you'll never conceive or go full-term. I felt that a lot after my chemical and then our failure to conceive again since. I don't think your risk for another miscarriage increases until after you're 2nd or 3rd, so you're chance of it happening again is about the same as before it happened if that helps.

I hope you get your sticky bean soon

Praying4BB, any news ?

QUOTE]

Ahhhh, girls, I am such a test wimp! I haven't tested yet. I just don't want to deal with any bad news right now. I guess I've decided no news is good news? I mean, there is really NO way, okay maybe there is a way, but it's like a 2% chance if you BD 4/5 days before O !! I'm 13/14 DPO now. Temps are still up, I had more watery brown spotting this morning when I woke up, but just had a ton of white watery cm (sorry tmi). I have been feeling very "hot" for the past few days which is definitely something new for this cycle, but I've been attributing it to the Clomid fixing my progesterone issues.

Seriously. If I get a BFP this cycle, DH gets of the year award!

Fleur- I'm glad you are able to stay busy with the move, I know that must help to keep your mind off things. Prayers that your body will recover soon and fully and January will be your month!

Happy BD'ing to all of you approaching O! And Kat- really hope this is our month!!!!!

Thanks Praying, I hope so too Although my chances are almost as crappy as your, around 6% according to my age and how long I've been trying. We can hope for miracle BFPs

 

[Hollynesss]

Everything crossed for you, praying!!

Kat, there are many mothers who are far from ideal, unfortunately All we can do is break the cycle and be good mothers to our own children

 

[bighouse]

Hi Friends!

Sorry I have been MIA. I was hanging out at the October testing board for a while, then the november testing board, but the witch keeps getting me. And no offense to all the lovely ladies on those other boards, but sometimes it's hard to hear about someone younger than me getting their BFP for #7 when I'm over here getting BFN after BFN for #1. So I think I'm better off on this board with other like-minded ladies. I don't have time to follow more than one board so I have to choose wisely

My cycles are anything but predictable, but I should ovulate this weekend (plus or minus) so we've already started BDing. Started my OPK's again today. We're going to DTD every 1-1.5 days this cycle, so if we don't catch the eggy after all that effort, then I'll be talking to my doc again.

I mentioned this on the other board, but my sister just got married, and she got pregnant on the honeymoon. Of course, right? In my head I am very happy for them, but in my heart it just doesn't feel fair (to make matters worse, she is a wild partier, drinker, and smoker, so I am worried about baby's health).

 

[zen108]

Fleur - hang in there. It gets better with time. If can, talk to friends who understands. The first friend whom i spoke to right after the D&C asked why I had miscarried so easily. Such a friend. Good to make yourself busy.

Kat - sometimes dysfunctional family can make you stronger and more determined to build a beautiful family with your DH.

AFM - FF finally gave me the crosshair though my temps r not that accurate due to the open mouth sleeping.

 

[crystlmcd]

Bighouse - I know how you feel. I've been following the Nov thread as well and there are some really supportive ladies over there bit it is frustrating to see those trying for #7 and getting pregnant their first cycle trying when I can't even get pregnant with #1 after 7 months. Hang in there!

 

[Hollynesss]

I get overwhelmed hanging out in some of those threads. There are so many people in the thread, you have to read 8 pages just to catch up every day! Its hard to keep up with people. I also tend to avoid the TTC forums in general. I'm so glad I made this thread to be around other girls in the same boat as me!

 

[zen108]

Thanks Holly for this thread.

The ladies here are really helpful. I am so glad I found this thread. I have been browsing at some of the other threads for some time since I joined.

At least this forum is more positive than another forum I saw, where ladies who can't conceived became bitter and sad and thrashed at newcomers.

Let's keep this thread alive!

 

[Praying4BB]

Stayin' alive!!!!

 

[crystlmcd]

Haha Praying! That cracked me up

 

[cdelmar]

Definitely more hope and positivity here Trying not to lose hope but, it is hard. First appt in December to get the ball rolling in figuring out what's going on... hopefully I'll get some answers or resolution. I don't feel like bringing that up with anyone who knows we are ttc (which was a big mistake... we've learned our lesson with our next ttc journey ) so I've kept my appt date to myself which is hard butx best for us (I have one person asking if I made sn appt and my MIL asking if my DH has been tested smh!)... oh my! the stresses of ttc lol!

 

[crystlmcd]

cdelmar - we have not told anyone we're TTC. I know the questions (and status update requests) from everyone would be overwhelming.

To start my week off right, it just started snowing here. Booooooo!

 

[zen108]

Definitely more hope and positivity here Trying not to lose hope but, it is hard. First appt in December to get the ball rolling in figuring out what's going on... hopefully I'll get some answers or resolution. I don't feel like bringing that up with anyone who knows we are ttc (which was a big mistake... we've learned our lesson with our next ttc journey ) so I've kept my appt date to myself which is hard butx best for us (I have one person asking if I made sn appt and my MIL asking if my DH has been tested smh!)... oh my! the stresses of ttc lol!

We made the mistake by telling our friends and family when I just got pregnant. Big mistake! After the miscarriage, felt so hurt and disgusted and wasn't getting any support from anyone. Now we don't tell anyone. Until maybe past first tri?

 

[Fleur828815]

Praying, your symptoms do sound promising! When I got my BFP I waited till 17 DPO to test, I didn’t want to get my hopes up for nothing.

Kat, unfortunately mothers are people just like everyone else, they don’t automatically become all light and sweetness just because they have children . We’re here if you need to rant about your family! I’m sorry you had to grow up like that, but you’ll do everything to create a happy and loving environment for your own children, she won’t be able to tarnish that.

I also don’t drink, don’t smoke, eat pretty healthily, exercise regularly… you’d think our bodies would realise we’re working hard and just let us have a healthy pregnancy already

bighouse, I know how you feel, it seems unfair that everyone else seems to have a baby so easily. THREE of my good friends have fallen pregnant “by accident” over the last 3 months, and it took them some time to come to terms with it. I’m happy and excited for them, but I just wonder why it has to happen that way! Hope you’ll be giving your nephew/niece a little cousin very soon.

zen, what a weird question from your friend! I’m lucky to be surrounded by supportive friends, and this forum helps so much.

crystlmcd, where are you in your cycle? I sure don’t miss the cold and the snow!

Hollyness, I didn’t realise you created this thread! Thanks so much. I’ve tentatively dipped my toes into the TTC after loss forum but I felt out of place on most of the threads. The ladies seem to know each other well and most of them have gone on to have babies, so it’s more like a baby group than a TTC thread (although I’m sure they’re very welcoming).

cdelmar, hope you will get some answers soon. I won’t tell anyone when we start TTCing again either, although I suppose they know that we’ll be trying again soon after the miscarriage.

Keeping everything crossed for Praying and Kat! Come on miracle babies!