Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Etisgonnab]

lots of updates this week!

Star--good luck with your transfer today!!

Kat, Angel, Jezika: Really hope that you guys have manageably big babies if they're big already! I know quite a few people who had large babies. Some of them had to have c-sections but some were still able to deliver naturally. One of my friends' kids who was HUGE is nine weeks old and already in six month old clothes!

Miss Doc: Congrats again! Fx that everything continues progressing well. How are you feeling?

AFM: Had my anatomy scan yesterday. Don't really have any good pics to share because baby girl covered her face with her hands the entire time and would not cooperate there. So I have a hand shot and a very lady like confirmation shot that she is, in fact, a girl lol. I have to go back in two weeks for a follow up scan.

Two other flags came up on the scan: 1) My cervix was measuring short when she was doing the scan from my stomach. She did a transvaginal US, which is apparently the "gold standard" for cervical length measurement, and it measured at 3.1 there which is okay. But they're going to monitor the length because if it gets below 2.5, there's trouble. Fx that it doesn't shorten! I'll have my cervix measured in two weeks as well. 2) The cord is attached on the side of the placenta, rather than the center. Since in some cases, that can lead to the baby not getting enough nutrients, it also needs to be monitored. I'll just get additional US throughout the rest of my pregnancy to make sure she's growing at a good rate. So, not the best news but at least nothing that is critical concern atm. Just stuff to keep an eye on. Crossing all my fingers and toes that everything will work out fine.

 

[star_e]

Etis - my fx that everything goes well for you. iim totally a beginner with my understanding pregnancy. it took a really long time to understand the reproductive cycle. but slowly but surely i have learned more. at some point i'll get up to speed with how cervix length affects pg and all the stuff about the cord, etc. im a bit clueless. im wishing you well and am so happy that nothing critical came up during your scan. fx that everything goes well for you.

kat - you are getting oh so close. good luck!!! how are you feeling?

angel and jezika - wishing you two well with your pg, hope you and your beans are happy and healthy

miss doc - i am so so so happy for you! so wonderful you got a natural pg when you were about to try iui. such and amazing surprise.

afm - i finished the FET! I had to drink a lot of water before the procedure which made the transfer a bit uncomfortable, but only because I really needed to go to the bathroom! we transfered two embryos. the doc said that transferring two is "aggressive" and recommended transfering one b/c our embryos are high grade and there are risks with having twins. but DH and I stuck with our original decision and transferred two anyway. im hoping for the best.

i did acupuncture before and after the procedure. the first part of the one after the procedure was super relaxing, but then the second half was less relaxing because i really needed to use the bathroom again b/c of all the water i had drank.

i plan on spending the rest of the weekend relaxing and eating good, warming food.

i have officially entered the TWW!

 

[greenarcher]

Jo - what kind of work do you do? It really is going to depend on you and the new company. That's a tough call, I don't evny you.

Etis - Congrats on the girl!! How exciting! I've never heard of a short cervix. Why is that a problem? What causes it?

Star - congrats on the transfer! My good friend just did the same, transferred two excellent, euploid embyros, but that's because this is their last try. I hope you and her both get twins! Is this your first transfer?

AFM - Yesterady I found out my best friend is pregnant with her first!! She's 32, and I am so totally pumped for her!

Today is O day! I hope we get to be bump buddies Time to watch the days drip by....

 

[KatO79]

Ooops forgot to update, had such a busy day yesterday, totally hectic Yeah so it turns out baby looks to be of normal size and my amniotic fluid is also completely normal. They're going to give me a control scan next week as the measurements of baby weren't too accurate but they seem pretty confident that baby is neither abnormally large or that my fluids are excessive. I guess I just carry this way

Oh and one of the technicians there couldn't understand the midwife wanted that scan as she didn't think I looked abnormally huge. On the larger scale yes, but not enough to warrant a scan and concerns about excess fluid of large baby.

 

[JoJazie]

Ethics - Fx for you!

Star - can't wait to hear! Lots of hope it's a pregnancy you have there!

Green - I'm a therapist, so it's all about building your client base! But I came to the decision today . I have to do what's right for us. We will push our TTC date to Jan so that I can settle in and then begin TTC. I've held back on getting pregnant for too many years for my career. I think I really need to bite the bullet and do what works.

All the best with your O! What cycle is this for you?

 

[MissDoc]

Star, I am crossing everything for you that those sweet little embies burrow in and make a nice comfy 9-month home in your uterus! Happy TWW!

 

[Angel5000]

I've been feeling movement more regularly, and stronger, lately. I love it. It's a surreal feeling though, so weird!

JoJazie - In my opinion I say you go ahead and start TTC or don't push it too far back, if that was your original plan. There's no way to know if you'll conceive right away or months later. I postponed TTC for a year because I changed jobs, but then once we started TTC it took me 14 months before I got my sticky bean, so I find myself wishing I hadn't waited that extra year. It would be different if you were TTC now maybe, but you have a right to a job and you have a right to have a family, so I say start TTC when you wanted to and if you get pregnant right away your boss will just have to deal with it and if you don't then at least you were trying.

EDIT: I just saw your last post. If you're only pushing it from November to January, I don't think that should be horrible, and if that's what is best for you and your family then go for what works for you!


Etis - I can't believe you're already at the anatomy scan! Sorry you had some "not good" news but at least you'll get a few extra U/S out of it. Hopefully all will be good though! Keeping FX

Star - Good luck!! So glad that you are through your transfer!

 

[Etisgonnab]

Star and archer: The issue with a short cervix (or cervical insufficiency) is that it comes with an extremely high risk of miscarriage or pre-term delivery. Basically its a one in two chance. So from what they told me, mine was measuring "short" (but I didn't get a specific number) when she was doing the us on my stomach. She then switched to a transvaginal us, which gets a more accurate measurement of cervical length, and it measured at 3.1 cm, which is fine. They said they start to be concerned when it is below 2.5 and would then start considering treatment options, which range from progesterone suppositories, bed rest, and in some cases cerclage (which is a stitch). Anyway, so at the moment, all I have to do is go back in next week for another measurement and hope that it hasn't gotten shorter.

As for the cord, what they said was that they used to not look at cord placement at all but more recent research suggests that in some cases when the cord is located on the side, the baby gets insufficient nutrients from the placenta. So to monitor it, they will just do additional ultrasounds to check her growth and see if its progressing at a healthy rate. Right now, she looks normal.

 

[KatO79]

Thought I'd update: turns out baby is potentially a 10 pounder and the doctor feels it would be risky to try a vaginal birth (e.g. baby's shoulders could get stuck and lead to health problems) so I'm now scheduled for a planned C-section on Wednesday, October 5th I'm a bit sad that I'll need a C-section but if that's what's best and safest for baby, then I'll have to do it.

Please supportive comments only, I've been feeling like I have to defend this decision on other threads (some have been pushing for me to try vaginal birth first before resorting to a C-section) and just don't need that

 

[Etisgonnab]

How dare someone judge you for this Kat! You've gotta do what you've gotta do. And, if a c-section is best for the baby, do it. All of the people I know who had large babies had to have c-sections. And those who tried to delivery naturally at first had MAJOR problems and ended up having an emergency c-section anyway! At least this way it's planned and recovery time should be much more minimal than if you had to go in for an emergency. Good luck next week! How exciting that you know when your little one is going to arrive!!

Also Star--sorry I thought I said this already, but fx crossed for you with your TWW!!

 

[KatO79]

How dare someone judge you for this Kat! You've gotta do what you've gotta do. And, if a c-section is best for the baby, do it. All of the people I know who had large babies had to have c-sections. And those who tried to delivery naturally at first had MAJOR problems and ended up having an emergency c-section anyway! At least this way it's planned and recovery time should be much more minimal than if you had to go in for an emergency. Good luck next week! How exciting that you know when your little one is going to arrive!!

Thank you so much Etis So true and yes I've also heard that planned c-sections are safer than emergency ones. I think some people think it may be wrong because of the chance that the estimate of baby's weight could be off and baby could be within the normal weight range. But do I really want to chance a vaginal if it isn't far off the mark? Oh and so many have stories about how they've heard of people delivering big babies vaginally with no issues. I will say that doctors in Denmark normally push for vaginal births so the fact that mine is so strongly recommending a c-section shows that her concerns are high enough that she feels it would be the best and safest option. Thanks so much!

 

[MissDoc]

How exciting to know your sweet baby's birthday already, Kat! Within a week you'll be holding him/her!

 

[KatO79]

How exciting to know your sweet baby's birthday already, Kat! Within a week you'll be holding him/her!

Thanks MissDoc Yeah it's kind of fun to know already, now just for the big gender reveal when baby comes out

I hope no one minds me writing here, I just feel like since I revealed that my doctor has strongly recommended a c-section due to big baby and DH and I have agreed to it, many members on the other boards I'm on are starting to ignore me If the few people on my pregnancy journal leave me, I don't even know if I'll bother with a parenting journal

 

[MissDoc]

I think the tone of this thread specifically has been a supportive one, even after we become pregnant. I keep checking in here too because everyone is so nice, and I prefer chatting with women over 30 who are working on their first kiddo, because I can feel so much empathy and I get it, whereas I struggle with truly empathizing with women who are 24 and ttc or are pregnant with their third, as bad as that sounds.

Gosh, just 5 more days Kat. Crazy stuff!

 

[Imogenmommy]

I'm new to this forum. I am 39 now. It was 38 when I miscarried last March. It took forever for my cycle to come back, like 8 weeks and have been trying again ever since with no luck. When I got pregnant the first time we had only been trying two months. My doctor says my egg reserve is excellent and they put me on clomid at 100mg this cycle because they said I didn't ovulate last cycle. But I use two types of ovulation tests and both said I did ovulate on day 21 of 31 day cycle. I always tended to ovulate a little late in cycle. It's day 18 and still haven't ovulated after taking the clomid. I'm scared and sad and I'm worried what if I have literal phase defect. I don't have PCOS. My doctor said my hormone levels were normal other than my progesterone being low but that was likely because I didn't ovulate. But they tested me on day 17 and I ovulated day 21 so maybe it was too late. I don't know but this has been going on now for 9 months, and next month would have been when I would have delivered. I just want a baby so badly. My husband is in the Navy and we have only been married two years. I have never wanted anything so badly before in my whole life and I'm so sad and afraid it will never happen for me because I'm too old.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat - how dare people criticize you for that!! You do what you need to do for you and baby!! I'm telling you right now if my doctor says my baby is 10lbs and I need a C-section then heck yeah I'm doing whatever doctor thinks is safest. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with a C-section and why put the baby through the stress of possibly getting stuck!?!? Once you get that far it's even more traumatic to try to go backwards to do the C-section. Ugh. Don't listen to them!

I also just have to say, October 5th is my DH's birthday. So I say it's a good luck charm.

If people are seriously ignoring you because you chose to go with a C-section, at your doctors recommendation, they've got issues. Those are the same type of people that do things like "how dare you put your kid on formula" regardless of the reason (my sister had this - she had to switch to formula because she didn't produce enough and baby was losing weight, people gave her hell for it). Ppl need to learn to mind their own business.

Sorry, I got worked up there.



Imogenmommy - Welcome!! Just a thought on Ovulation tests, ovulation tests will tell you that your body is gearing up to ovulate (the hormone is being released) but it doesn't mean you actually DID ovulate. It's not uncommon to get a +OPK but your body never releases the egg. The only way to tell for sure is temping or an ultrasound on the ovaries. If you have a luteal phase defect it would mean the time from your ovulation to your period starting would be very short. I had one for awhile after stoping bcp. Took a lot of time and some natural meds to help me regulate and I managed to get my LP up to 11 days but still had low progesterone which dr discovered after I went in for testing after my 2nd MC.

Besides OPKs is there anything else you do to track your cycle? Temps, CM, etc?

Sometimes it takes awhile after a MC to regulate and get pregnant again.

This is a very supportive group, we're glad to offer any support and advice you need.

 

[KatO79]

Kat - how dare people criticize you for that!! You do what you need to do for you and baby!! I'm telling you right now if my doctor says my baby is 10lbs and I need a C-section then heck yeah I'm doing whatever doctor thinks is safest. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with a C-section and why put the baby through the stress of possibly getting stuck!?!? Once you get that far it's even more traumatic to try to go backwards to do the C-section. Ugh. Don't listen to them!

I also just have to say, October 5th is my DH's birthday. So I say it's a good luck charm.

If people are seriously ignoring you because you chose to go with a C-section, at your doctors recommendation, they've got issues. Those are the same type of people that do things like "how dare you put your kid on formula" regardless of the reason (my sister had this - she had to switch to formula because she didn't produce enough and baby was losing weight, people gave her hell for it). Ppl need to learn to mind their own business.

Sorry, I got worked up there.

Thanks so much Angel It's not so much criticising as they're telling me I should try for a vaginal birth first before doing a c-section (although some do seem to be ignoring me). Not everyone but many. This despite the fact a planned c-section is much less risky than an acute one and all the risks I'd be taking trying for a vaginal birth. So in reality, I'll be avoiding more risks going straight to the planned c-section. Honestly, I think it would be selfish of me to attempt a vaginal birth because it's what I want and was hoping for, I need to think of my baby's safety and well-being first before my own desires and wants. Isn't that what a mother does??!!

I've had one person that claims doctors see pregnancy as a disease and too many of them are just pushing for c-sections that aren't necessary so I should just try for a vaginal first. Oh and that those measurements are often inaccurate and my baby could very well be of normal weight so I should basically assume the doctor is wrong until the attempted vaginal birth shows otherwise. I don't know if it's true of the US, but in Denmark doctors here don't just recommend c-sections left and right! I've also tried on my journal sharing this article that mentions all the risk a vaginal birth of a big baby entails although no answer yet but it is the weekend so still time: https://www.parents.com/advice/preg...difficult-is-a-natural-birth-with-a-big-baby/

Unfortunately it seems like c-sections, especially those that aren't acute, are stigmatised in the US from what I could read on the internet. Seems some mothers have a thing where "vaginal birth is natural and the best way" which is insane when you think about how many women and babies died during childbirth before c-sections were used.

So true, it's just kinda hurtful that people I've been writing with for months on this forum who I've been sharing my pregnancy journey with are being this way So sorry your sister experienced that! It's crazy how some women try to show that they're more mothers because they e.g. could give birth vaginally or have enough breastmilk. I'm hoping it's not as bad here but I'm sure it does exist to a certain extent.

 

[MissDoc]

Kat, the US is experiencing a bit of a natural mommas movement in response to our nation's c section rates being pretty high, while our infant mortality rates are worse than many countries where c sections are rare. Because so many c sections here are unnecessary in hindsight, that leads to many of these women falsely believing that all c sections are unnecessary, elective, and about convenience. Which is just silly of course. If I lived in an area with low c section rates that favored vaginal birth, like your area, I wouldn't hesitate one minute to get one if my doctor recommended it. It's unfortunate how extreme some people go with this, and how much they overgeneralize. It's hard to believe, but these women are actually the minority, just a very vocal one!

 

[KatO79]

MissDoc wow that really stinks that some women are so vocal about it. It must be horrible for those that really needed a c-section and then have to live with being stigmatised for it. I actually read about someone that was sharing a room with another woman giving birth and the doctor was trying to get this other woman to do an acute c-section because labour wasn't progressing and baby was very stressed. The woman refused and the baby died So sick if stories like this become more normal because of these crazy women adamantly saying vaginal birth is the only way to go and you're a lesser woman/mother for doing a c-section!

I live in Denmark so it's like that all over the country, doctors always push for vaginal birth unless there's a medical reason to recommend otherwise. That mine was so adamant convinced DH and I in the end although I did cry a good deal because I really did want to give birth vaginally. No judgement from anyone in his family yet, his father agreed that if the doctor was so adamant then it must be with good reasons and we should do a c-section.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat - What MrsDoc said.... It's a movement to avoid C-Sections. For awhile there was a lot of women who were scheduling C-sections for the convenience and doctors were accepting of that. Now there's a big movement to be natural, and it led to a very big swing to the other extreme where these people assume that ALL C-Sections are bad. There's also the problem that there are many many hospitals who won't do a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section), and so I know a lot of women who had a C-section the first time for whatever reason and then the local hospitals won't allow vaginal birth next time unless they travel to a "better equipped" hospital, much further away (this is a bigger problem for smaller towns where I grew up). So then you end up with women having only C-sections, and it "looks" like it's just a convenience thing, when it's really the hospital isn't prepared to prep you for it. I don't know the details as to why a VBAC is more difficult, I never looked into it, I just knew friends who were in that situation.


It's hard for women who had to do a C-section and didn't have a choice. On the other hand, there are women who choose to do C-section because they "don't want to ruin their vagina" (I literally had a friend tell me this was why she opted for C-Section!) and I've heard/seen men say things like that "don't do vaginal birth, I don't want to have a nasty/loose ....." etc. BOTH of those groups tend to be vocal, but both are in the minority. They're just more vocal than the other groups.