Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[star_e]

Miss doc I know I'll be feeling the way you are feeling when I'm at that point. So if you figure anything out on how best to deal with the anxiety feelings do share.

I'm in the is this really real anxiety phase. I hope the scan goes well next week and that I'm reassured a bit. bc so far I feel totally the same and I know that's totally normal at this point but oh would some symptoms help to ease my nerves a bit.

At my scan I'll be six weeks 4 days.

Miss doc good luck w your scans!!! I have fingers and toes crossed for you!

 

[Angel5000]

Gagrl - Sorry.

Kat - so glad that things are going better for you and your LO now!


Star - Oh yeah I understand. I had a lot of anxiety the first several weeks because I didn't "feel" pregnant because I had no symptoms. I seriously just kept taking tests for "peace of mind". I took hundreds. DH just shook his head and tolerated me. I can't remember but i think we could just barely see the HB for the first time at our 6w appointment with a vaginal ultrasound. Could not hear it though. And it didn't look much like a HB. The doctor had to point out a flickering and say that was the HB. I think we got to hear it at 7 or 8w scan (vaginal ultrasound only). The dopplers typically can't pick up that early. When I went to my OB for the first time (10 weeks) she was able to find HB on the doppler, but just barely and she said that its not uncommon to not be able to find it until closer to 12 weeks on a doppler.


MissDoc - This can be such a stressful time. I told colleagues fairly early, because of all the doctor appointments I had, I felt it was best to tell them so they knew why I was out a lot and they were more than willing to help me pick up the slack after that. That was a terrifying thought for me, knowing that I might have to "undo" the telling, but it was also encouraging to know I had a support group in case something did go wrong.

 

[star_e]

hows everyone doing?

i wanted to give a quick update - great news! had my u/s yesterday and baby is measuring on track (yesterday 6 weeks and 4 days). we got to see the heartbeat! it was amazing! we are so relieved and very thankful.

the other embie did not take. she showed us what looks like it trying to implant. she said she cannot know for sure what that thing was, could also be a small blood clot. but she speculates its the embie that did not take. she said it won't affect this little bean and will likely just go away. i might have some bleeding at some point, but she said maybe not. could just get absorbed by the body.

 

[KatO79]

star so glad that your scan went so well and the one embie that did implant is looking good So amazing, right? Just wait until you can hear the heartbeat!

AFM we ended up going to the hospital to get Alexander's "conjugated bilirubin test" done today as he's still jaundiced at 2 weeks. His level was a bit high but nothing to be too concerned about, the doctor wasn't in the slightest bit concerned anyway. They think it's something in my breastmilk that's prolonging his jaundice and that he just needs more time for the jaundice to go away. Oh and they felt feeding him every 2nd hour during the day was total overkill so said I need to feed him every 3rd hour during the day and every 3-4 hours at night. They said he may not be getting enough of the fatty milk and is mostly living off the thin stuff which isn't helpful to him gaining weight. I don't fear having to tell our nurse we're going to follow the doctor's instructions as I don't think we'll be seeing her again since our permanent nurse comes back on Monday. We need to go back to the hospital next week though for another test to make sure his bilirubin levels are going down. Oh and they said him crying all those hours at night (he's been keeping us awake from 11 PM to 3-4 AM with constant crying) is indicative of him having gas because he's been feeding too often so hopefully that'll stop now that we're going to feed him less often.

 

[star_e]

Kat so happy the doc is not concerned about the jaundice. That must be a relief that it will likely go away on its own. And my fx crossed that the new feeding schedule helps your little bean and you sleep more comfortably. Also it's so great that the breastfeeding worked itself out and you are able to do it. Keep us updated.

And I'm hoping everything keeps going well for me and I get to the hearing the heartbeat stage. My ftx.

 

[Angel5000]

Star - That's so great! I'm so glad that you could see the heartbeat! I think that we got to hear the HB a week or two after that (but only on vaginal US). when do you have your next US?


Kat - So glad they aren't concerned about the jaundice! The whole feeding thing sounds so confusing to me. If he's eating every 2nd hour, doesn't that mean he's hungry? So if you do every 3rd hour, does that mean you feed more? I hope that you'll be able to get a little more sleep though now with the change in feeding schedule!

 

[KatO79]

Kat - So glad they aren't concerned about the jaundice! The whole feeding thing sounds so confusing to me. If he's eating every 2nd hour, doesn't that mean he's hungry? So if you do every 3rd hour, does that mean you feed more? I hope that you'll be able to get a little more sleep though now with the change in feeding schedule!

Problem is the jaundice is making him drowsy so he isn't asking for food himself, the vast majority of the time we have to wake him or otherwise there could go 5-6 hours in between feedings which would be really bad Feeding every 3rd hour means he's getting less number of feedings but the doctor felt he'd most likely be getting more of my fatty milk since he'll be more hungry and not filling up on the thin milk that comes those first minutes of a feeding the way she thinks he's been doing getting fed every 2nd hour. She's hoping it'll help him gain more weight since he hasn't been gaining much with every 2nd hour. Also every 3-4 hours is more the norm actually when feeding a newborn.

Unfortunately not getting much more sleep ATM We had a rough day yesterday where Alexander was impossible to get to sleep (oddly enough when he's still jaundiced!) and he was overtired in the end which made getting him to sleep even harder. We finally succeeded but it meant he was cranky and exhausted for his nighttime and early morning feedings today and I had an extra hard time getting him to latch properly on my large left nipple early this morning I've frankly given up on getting much sleep until he's closer to 3 months where the number of feedings lessen and he'll be able to sleep for longer hours at night. Will have to just take daily naps to keep from going insane due to sleep deprivation at night

 

[MissDoc]

Kat, I love the update that your little guy gets to shift to a more "normal" feeding schedule. I hope that feels relieving for you. You've been working hard! I love the name you chose, by the way.

Star, Yay for getting to see that beautiful flicker on the screen. So glorious! How often will you have scans?

Angel, how's your little gizmo doing? I can't wait til mine's that size!

AFM, I'm officially out of the fertility clinic and have started "care as usual" with the ObGyn, so no more weekly scans. *sniffle* My next one is at 18 weeks and I'm only 10 weeks right now, so that sounds light years away for me. I should get results back from NIPT testing, hopefully by the very end of this week or early next week, so I'll know basic genetic sceen results and gender very soon! That's exciting.

 

[star_e]

Miss doc what was the genetic test you took for gender called and when did you have it done?

In general did you all opt to do all of the non invasive tests?

I have a us tomorrow and if that goes as planned then I graduate from the fertility clinic and then see an OBgyn. So I'll find out more about scan frequency then.

For a first prenatal visit is there anything I should do to prepare? Also did you all have to switch makeup brands/make product swaps? It's a lot to have to learn about. I've switched my deodorant and skin care stuff but not makeup.

 

[MissDoc]

Miss doc what was the genetic test you took for gender called and when did you have it done?

In general did you all opt to do all of the non invasive tests?

I have a us tomorrow and if that goes as planned then I graduate from the fertility clinic and then see an OBgyn. So I'll find out more about scan frequency then.

For a first prenatal visit is there anything I should do to prepare? Also did you all have to switch makeup brands/make product swaps? It's a lot to have to learn about. I've switched my deodorant and skin care stuff but not makeup.

Star, yay for graduating from the fertility clinic. It's a good feeling. The testing I did was the Panorama Genetic Testing by Natera. It tests for chromosomal disorders and gender. It's a simple blood test that I had at 10 weeks exactly (6 days ago). I chose to do non-invasive testing, and will only do the invasive stuff if there's a marker or reason for it. I will have a level 2 ultrasound at 18 weeks, which is just an advanced ultrasound where they look at organs, bone structure, brain, etc in detail. But other than that, no other scans planned any more. It'll be hard not to see the little bean as much as I have! But I'm also happy, too. I am so anxiously awaiting the genetic results and keep checking the online portal every hour. I really hope they come in before the weekend.

As for makeup, when TTC I changed everything because I was trying to remove phthalates, BPA, artificial ingredients, etc from my body. Within a month of making that change I was pregnant (could be coincidence of course), so I mostly stuck with the changes. But I don't think any OB will tell you to change anything. I use the EWG "skin deep" product guide to check the risk rating of products I want and go by that.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat - Oh I didn't realize the jaundice made him not ask for food. Sounds like you've got your hands full! really hoping that things continue to improve for you and Alexander! So glad to hear that he's at least able to move to a normal schedule though!

MissDoc - She's doing well. She's moving around a lot. Today she kicked hard and one of my students was like "OMG did she just kick you?" and when I said yes, and asked why, he said he saw my stomach bulge for a second (several others said they saw it too and were freaked out )

Congrats on graduating from the fertility clinic to normal ObGyn! I know how much that sucks though to suddenly go from weekly scans to not having another for a long time. Very exciting to hear that you'll get the NIPT results soon!! Can't wait to hear!

Star - in my case they offered me the options of the NIPT, or the regular second trimester screen test, or none. She suggested that if the genetic results would impact our decision to carry to term, I should get the NIPT, but if I was going to carry regardless of whatever it showed, then to hold off and wait until the 20 week scan and then if anything looked abnormal they would do the screen test. Since we had already had individual genetic testing done wth our specialist and we know that we don't have risks for carrying any genetic markers we opted to wait until the scan and if anything looked off we would get the testing. Your doctor should offer you the options and let you choose.

Good luck at your scan! Once you graduate to the ObGyn you'll probably get a lot less scans. I only got my one scan at the 8-12 and then one at the 16-22 areas with my regular Ob.

As for the first prenatal, there isn't anything you need to do to prepare. It's a lot of information getting from the Ob, and they might do a doppler to see if they can hear HB but its hard to hear less than 10-12 weeks so they may not. They didn't do much at mine except lots of infomration and "get to know you" stuff.

I didn't switch any of my makeup/products. Just make sure you are watching the allowed foods list.

 

[KatO79]

Kat - Oh I didn't realize the jaundice made him not ask for food. Sounds like you've got your hands full! really hoping that things continue to improve for you and Alexander! So glad to hear that he's at least able to move to a normal schedule though!

Yep jaundice makes them super, super drowsy and if you're not waking them to feed, they can sleep for hours and hours on end Well it didn't last long, our perrmanent nurse weighed him again yesterday and he's only gained 20 g in 3 days so she wants me feeding him every 2 hours again during the day to increase my milk production and to offer him 25-30 ml of formula 3 times a day. Totally stinks but guess we'll have to. Only problem is waking him every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night, it's making him sleep really bad (like it did last time we tried it) so thinking of keeping it at 3½-4 hours instead during the night and closer to 2½ hours during the day. I mean him not getting any sleep can't be good for his growth either Plus I'm not getting much sleep because I'm sometimes using around 1 hour to get him to sleep again (he'll be overtired and crying) so it's making me cranky since I can't be getting more than 3, maybe 4, hours sleep max and I often have issues napping during the day

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Sorry I've been MIA lately.. I honestly just needed time away from the boards.. They were making me very sad.

 

[KatO79]

So sorry Gagrlinpitt I hope you soon get your rainbow!

star as to makeup I don't really use it myself, only for family events and special occasions. While pregnant I decided to avoid it all together though but that's me. But if it worries you maybe look into a brand that uses less chemicals?

MissDoc thanks although as mentioned it didn't last long and we're back on the hardcore schedule Although I'm considering feeding him every 3½ hours instead of every 3 at night as the 3 hour schedue is making him sleep less. Which also gives my nipples a little more time to recover as breastfeeding is apparently painful in the beginning Mine are super sore and one has an injury making it hurt even more when he latches on (and it's not Alexander's techique, many have said he's latching on and sucking correctly) Can't wait for it to get better and it becomes less painful.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat - I think you've got a good plan. You and baby need sleep and if he's not sleeping he isn't going to be able to get adequate rest which is critical for health. I think you've got a good plan, I hope it works for you. I'm so sorry this is so rough. I guess I never thought about how hard it can be after baby comes. I know, generaly speaking, what I'm going to have to deal with but hearing from other new moms helps to really make it more real. Thank you for sharing with us! I'm so glad that you're still around in our thread. I wish there was something I Could say or do to make this easier for you but there really isn't so just know that we are here whenever you need to talk/vent/rant/etc.


Gagrl - Don't have to apologize, hon. We understand. I've been there myself, as i'm sure we all have when going through this journey. We love you and are thinking of you, and are here when you are ready to come back but take all the time you need!

 

[star_e]

Had my appointment today.

The baby is doing great. Measuring on track. Strong healthy heartbeat. She said the position of the sac is perfect. All is perfectly well right now. So normally I'd be on cloud 9.

But that second embryo that didn't implant properly is still there. Not sure if it got bigger or what but it is either going to pass through me or get absorbed by my body. Doc said again it shouldn't affect my sticky bean. I pressed her on it though bc I'm concerned. She said it really shouldn't affect it but that she can't say it could never affect it. She said it's possible that when it comes out it could push this one out. But do to the location of the sac, she really does not think that would happen. She told me not to worry bc it's pointless as it could just get absorbed. she also warned me that if it does pass through it will likely scare me. I guess cause of the blood and all. I'm nervous and now am wondering at what point will I not worry about this.

Does anyone know anything about this type of scenario?

 

[KatO79]

star I'm so sorry that this is taking some of the joy away from your pregnancy. I don't have any experience in this or know anything about it, just hope that it soon passes so you can fully enjoy your pregnancy

Kat - I think you've got a good plan. You and baby need sleep and if he's not sleeping he isn't going to be able to get adequate rest which is critical for health. I think you've got a good plan, I hope it works for you. I'm so sorry this is so rough. I guess I never thought about how hard it can be after baby comes. I know, generaly speaking, what I'm going to have to deal with but hearing from other new moms helps to really make it more real. Thank you for sharing with us! I'm so glad that you're still around in our thread. I wish there was something I Could say or do to make this easier for you but there really isn't so just know that we are here whenever you need to talk/vent/rant/etc.

I was surprised myself as I knew it wasn't going to be easy but it's harder than I thought, especially the breastfeeding as I had no idea how painful it is at first or how hard it is to learn. My ILs told me that the first few months with a baby are always the toughest and it'll get easier in time. ATM I'm just really upset that I'm apparently not making enough milk for him, it makes me feel like a bad mother even though logically I know I shouldn't feel that way because it's not anyone's fault - just crappy circumstances that led to this point (e.g. no midwife to help me get started on the day I had him, numerous midwives then saying different things and making it a negative experience for me, them not being able to really help me get a good start because they're busy ect). I feel like I'm starving him to a certain degree since he's not gaining enough on my milk alone, especially the fact that he drinks up almost all 30 ml of the formula when it's offered. I'm still hoping I can up my production but only time will tell. Worst case we may end up having to continue doing both breastfeeding and bottle feeding until he starts on solids. I know it shouldn't but it makes me feel like crap

Thanks Angel It's so great to be able to vent, I just hope I'm not scaring anyone There are also lots of positive things as well, I'm just over focusing on the negatives at the moment

 

[Angel5000]

Star - Take joy in the fact that your LO is doing well. I know you're worried, I spent my entire first trimester anxious and worried and cried on my way to every weekly appointment because I was sure there wouldn't be a HB anymore (I was a wreck, seriously), so I can honestly say I know how anxious you are. I haven't had this problem but I have known people who did IVF and their body eventually did absorb the embryo(s) that didn't implant. In one case she did end up passing it and freaked out because she thought it was a MC of the living embryo but the doctor ws very understanding and accommodating and did an US and they could see baby was fine. I think if there was a real concern they would have said it earlier, before you pressed them, so take heart in the fact that the chances are good that your LO is ok.


Kat - I wasn't aware of the painful part for breastfeeding. That's why I'm so glad you're sharing your experiences, I am getting nwe information and so I won't be so surprised when it comes to that! My sister did have problems with producing enough milk and she had to switch to formula fairly early with my niece. While my sister was sad about that, she said in a way it was a relief because my niece started to sleep a lot better and for longer periods with the formula because it kept her full longer, and my sister felt more comfortable going out without worrying about the "oh no I have to breastfeed and what will people say/do about it" because people can be horrible about BF in public I know right now you're feeling like your body is failing you, but just keep reminding yourself that it is nothing that you did or could have prevented, and you're doing everything you can to make sure he gets all the food he needs (hence supplementing with the formula).

 

[star_e]

I really appreciate the support!

And thanks Angel for the reassurance. It's true doc didn't say anything that worried me until I pressed her and then I think she just wanted to tell me she didn't think something bad would happen but she just couldn't guarantee it. hopefully all will be well. I've done a lot of research today and for so many people whether it is absorbed by the body or it passes through it does not affect the living baby. So I need to trust that things will be fine. It is nerve-racking though and it definitely does take some of the joy away from the pregnancy as well does my general worry. I was hoping I would be able to enjoy this more but my mind is so scared constantly that something will happen. Going to try practicing shifting my perspective a bit bc it's too much right now. Next appointment is next Thursday.

Kat - i've heard from other people to that breast-feeding can be painful. Eventually I was going to ask you about this. is it so painful that you want to cry? I've read that for some it is really painful. I very much hope the pain subsides for you soon and am so appreciative as it's been said before that you are sharing these early weeks experiences with us. Thank you for doing that because it's so helpful. hope you and your bean both get some better sleep soon.

 

[KatO79]

Kat - I wasn't aware of the painful part for breastfeeding. That's why I'm so glad you're sharing your experiences, I am getting nwe information and so I won't be so surprised when it comes to that! My sister did have problems with producing enough milk and she had to switch to formula fairly early with my niece. While my sister was sad about that, she said in a way it was a relief because my niece started to sleep a lot better and for longer periods with the formula because it kept her full longer, and my sister felt more comfortable going out without worrying about the "oh no I have to breastfeed and what will people say/do about it" because people can be horrible about BF in public I know right now you're feeling like your body is failing you, but just keep reminding yourself that it is nothing that you did or could have prevented, and you're doing everything you can to make sure he gets all the food he needs (hence supplementing with the formula).

OK I just hope it doesn't totally put you off breastfeeding if you're otherwise planning on doing so But the pain does seem to be normal at first since my MIL also had it and no one blinks an eye here when I mention it. Don't know when it'll lessen though, in the meantime using Lasinoh nipple cream which does seem to help take the edge off. Too bad about your sister, I seriously hope it won't end the same way for me and Alexander as I was hoping to breastfeed for at least the first year or so. I understand her not much wanting to bf in public, I had to do that today but used Alexander's duvet as a cover which offered some privacy so no one could see my boob hanging out I think here it's more accepted to bf in public though, just me being modest Thanks Angel, I'm still hoping my breasts will soon get the message and make a bit more milk.

Kat - i've heard from other people to that breast-feeding can be painful. Eventually I was going to ask you about this. is it so painful that you want to cry? I've read that for some it is really painful. I very much hope the pain subsides for you soon and am so appreciative as it's been said before that you are sharing these early weeks experiences with us. Thank you for doing that because it's so helpful. hope you and your bean both get some better sleep soon.

To be honest, yes but it's mostly when he feeds from the breast where there's an injury to my nipple. But it does seem to be every so gradually improving. And the pain is mostly when he's latching on so the first 5-10 seconds, once he's properly latched it's ok. If he's not properly latched (which is happening less often) so he's e.g. only getting my nipple in his mouth than that can also be pretty painful but I always stop him and get him to try latching again.

Thanks star, I just hope I'm not scaring anyone because that's not what I intended

BTW everyone I was at the hospital today to hear Alexander's latest results and his jaundice is definitely declining and the doctor seemed very happy about the results. The doctor agreed that feeding him every 2 hours is insane so DH and I have dropped the health care provider's recommendation and going to feed him every 3 hours during the day and every 3½-4 hours at night. I admit the 2 hour program was making me crazy (I was numerous times at night feeds crying and threatning to stop breastfeeding all together) and causing Alexander to get too little sleep so he was often cranky Surely every 3 hours is also good enough to get my milk production a bit more up anyway??!! DH has said he'll take it up with the health care provider if she starts anything because we absolutely refuse to do the 2 hour program anymore!