Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[bighouse]

CuteStuff- welcome! I can totally relate to being frustrated at seeing everyone else get pregnant, especially 1st try. That just happened to my sister on her honeymoon. And then there's me, married almost 9 years, over 30, still no baby. I thought I was OK with having my 1st after everyone else, but now I'm regretting it. Most of my friends have two or three kids by now. I don't even fit in with them anymore- it's like they don't know anything else to do or talk about anymore except kids and baby things.

 

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, cutestuff! I think a lot of us share your frustration. Even though we're still within the "normal" realm, it is very frustrating being left behind while everyone else seems to conceive so easily. This is judgement-free thread, so vent away!

Zen- everything crossed for you!!

 

[Praying4BB]

Most of my friends have two or three kids by now. I don't even fit in with them anymore- it's like they don't know anything else to do or talk about anymore except kids and baby things.

YES Bighouse! My sentiments exactly. I find myself getting left out because they all have play dates during the weekdays when I'm working/in class and then don't want to meet me on the weekends for lunch because it interferes with their children's nap times. I've really stopped trying with a lot of them and I can't feel bad-I've more than reached out so many times. We are just in a different place now and I feel like I'm just on the outside until I have kids. Then, there are my law school friends, who are 6-7 years younger and not married. Some of them got an earful about all my TTC struggles and I think were a little overwhelmed by it all. They are in a different place too (and probably just really grossed out and don't get it). I also feel like sometimes that stay-at-home moms don't want to be friends with me. Not sure if it is resentment because I'm still pursuing my career goals or if they just genuinely don't need friends because their kids keep them busy and happy. Whatever the reason, it's definitely not helping the stress of all this. Glad we can be here for each other

 

[Praying4BB]

Holly dear, how are things with you? You should be O'ing soon?

 

[KatO79]

Bighouse - hopefully the stress is over now and doesn't affect you much.
Kat - i too envy you for those freebies. In my country, we hv to pay everything. Guess too many fertile people here. So only rich people who can't conceive can afford IUI or IVF.
Cutestuff - welcome to the group
AFM - 7DPO and temp is so erratic.

Yeah, it really stinks that in other countries, you have to pay They really should give e.g. 3 free IUIs and 3 free IVFs to people so they have some free tries before having to pay for it. But I guess they unfortunately don't consider infertility a disease

Feeling a bit guilty for mentioning it now

CuteStuff- welcome! I can totally relate to being frustrated at seeing everyone else get pregnant, especially 1st try. That just happened to my sister on her honeymoon. And then there's me, married almost 9 years, over 30, still no baby. I thought I was OK with having my 1st after everyone else, but now I'm regretting it. Most of my friends have two or three kids by now. I don't even fit in with them anymore- it's like they don't know anything else to do or talk about anymore except kids and baby things.

Yeah DH and I are in the same boat. All of our friends with kids have pretty much abandoned us. They don't invite us to anything anymore. I kinda doubt they'll invite us to a Christmas luncheon this year but we'll see. It stinks because we're trying to get pregnant and can't help it we're suffering from unexplained infertility (unless my HSG shows blocked tubes but FXed it won't). But many of them don't know that unless the one couple who does told them Then they're avoiding us because it's uncomfortable to talk about.

AFM AF showed up today right on time I can first call the HSG place on Moday as they're closed all weekend. Not looking much forward to it as I've heard it's uncomfortable. On the info I got from our RE, it says that you can having some cramping and slight bleeding afterwards

Anyway, on to cycle #16

 

[Hollynesss]

Holly dear, how are things with you? You should be O'ing soon?

Thank you for asking! CD19 and still no positive OPK I think it's time to get a fertility work up.

I definitely share all of your sentiments about friends with kids!! My coworkers and friends are either married with 4 kids or single and partying. I want to join the play dates!

 

[zen108]

Kat- i did HSG last month. I was told to take painkillers and antibiotic a day before the procedure. The procedure was slightly painful for me and there was spotting after. So do bring a pad along. However, the pain lasted only few seconds. I had bloating for few days after that and that was really uncomfortable. Good thing was, my uterus is cleared now of all junk.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Hey everyone, just wanted to do a quick check-in!

I read through the posts and got all caught up - I'll post more tomorrow. Sitting in the hotel room in San Francisco after a lovely week in Napa. Going home tonight.

Welcome, new ladies! This is a great group that Holly has started! Love the positivity and encouragement here....it's so hard to go through TTC alone, and although our DHs are supportive, they just don't know what to say after a while!

Me - I ended up bringing my OPKs with me but I did not temp this week. I'm CD14 and OPK still negative. I haven't had any good ewcm yet, which is weird for me. I'm hoping that the wine just dried me up and I'll still O on time. If I have another late O I will be so upset because then I'll know that acupuncture isn't working for me. But I'm trying to be optimistic. Last two cycles I have ovulated on time and I got nervous thinking I wouldn't ovulate during each one. So, positive thoughts!

We have been getting busy like every day during vacation so hoping that my cm (or lack thereof) doesn't impede my chances this month. I'm really hoping for my BFP before I quit acupuncture at the end of the year! Ok, off to get ready for our tour of Alcatraz!

 

[Hollynesss]

Glad you had a great trip, MJ! Welcome back

 

[cutestuff]

Hi ladies. Thank you for the warm welcome. Its nice to be in this group. I have been with my husband for 11.5 years and I really thought this month would be it. But the witch got me this am so I am out. On to cycle 6. I never thought it would be this hard. All I can' say is I am officially banning myself from any thing outsidside of marking when af shows for 30 days..good luck for anyone still hoping.

 

[KatO79]

Kat- i did HSG last month. I was told to take painkillers and antibiotic a day before the procedure. The procedure was slightly painful for me and there was spotting after. So do bring a pad along. However, the pain lasted only few seconds. I had bloating for few days after that and that was really uncomfortable. Good thing was, my uterus is cleared now of all junk.

Ok thanks zen I can take painkillers but antibiotics aren't readily available unless you have a doctor OKing it I'll remember to have a panty liner ready, thanks for the tip

I'm hoping it'll help me have our last shots at a natural bfp but it's ok if it helps us when we start IUI

 

[Praying4BB]

Holly dear, how are things with you? You should be O'ing soon?

Thank you for asking! CD19 and still no positive OPK I think it's time to get a fertility work up.

Hopefully, it's nothing and then you can know it's only a matter of time But if there is something, you will be on track to some answers. I can't tell you how much calmer I am about all this now we are working with the fertility clinic. No answers yet, but at least we've ruled out things that aren't wrong!

 

[drjo718]

Hi, ladies, mind if I join? It's nice to hear from others of similar age ttc #1. A little history about me...
I was off birth control for 6 months last year and nothing happened. I had 2 periods during that time and then went back on the pill.
Came off bc and had a withdrawal bleed April 16 this year. Ovulated on May 20 and was surprised to get a BFP in early June as we had used contraception all but one time of BDing. Unfortunately, I miscarried on June 17 at 6 weeks, and they suspect it may have been an ectopic pregnancy due to slow rising hcg.
Following the mc, I had an anovulatory cycle and got a period on July 16. The next cycle was 74 days, and AF showed September 27, at 14dpo.
Then I started 50mg of Clomid. My 21 day progesterone was 9, indicating I ovulated, even though that number is low for a medicated cycle. Well, I never had a positive opk so I was doubting a valid ovulation had occurred, and then I never got AF. I was going to start provera this week to induce a period, but I got what I think was a positive opk on Tuesday, along with other o symptoms. So I am now on CD50 and 3dpo.
I'll probably test a little before thanksgiving, but if I get AF I'll be trying 100 mg of clomid next cycle. I'm also planning to have bloodwork drawn to test for pcos and pituitary problems.
I think it's intersting that if this were to be my cycle, i would find out on OH and my anniversary, we would be viable on his birthday, term on my birthday, and due on my sister's birthday (she passed away 6 years ago). Quite a coincidence!

 

[Praying4BB]

Hi, ladies, mind if I join? It's nice to hear from others of similar age ttc #1. A little history about me...
I was off birth control for 6 months last year and nothing happened. I had 2 periods during that time and then went back on the pill.
Came off bc and had a withdrawal bleed April 16 this year. Ovulated on May 20 and was surprised to get a BFP in early June as we had used contraception all but one time of BDing. Unfortunately, I miscarried on June 17 at 6 weeks, and they suspect it may have been an ectopic pregnancy due to slow rising hcg.
Following the mc, I had an anovulatory cycle and got a period on July 16. The next cycle was 74 days, and AF showed September 27, at 14dpo.
Then I started 50mg of Clomid. My 21 day progesterone was 9, indicating I ovulated, even though that number is low for a medicated cycle. Well, I never had a positive opk so I was doubting a valid ovulation had occurred, and then I never got AF. I was going to start provera this week to induce a period, but I got what I think was a positive opk on Tuesday, along with other o symptoms. So I am now on CD50 and 3dpo.
I'll probably test a little before thanksgiving, but if I get AF I'll be trying 100 mg of clomid next cycle. I'm also planning to have bloodwork drawn to test for pcos and pituitary problems.
I think it's intersting that if this were to be my cycle, i would find out on OH and my anniversary, we would be viable on his birthday, term on my birthday, and due on my sister's birthday (she passed away 6 years ago). Quite a coincidence!

Welcome Drjo! That is a coincidence- best of luck, hope y'all caught the egg!!! I just started Clomid (50 mg) as well, on my second cycle now. Funny thing, I never got a positive OPK this past cycle either! They were able to confirm it by ultrasound and progesterone. I hope this isn't a side effect of Clomid, I don't need any more stress in my TTC life

 

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, drjo! I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a tough time. That would definitely be a lovely coincidence if you conceived this cycle! (So sorry about your sister!)

I wish that someone would have told all of us girls that once you want to start having kids, coming off of birth control can be tough! I stopped taking it 5 years ago because at my annual exam my doctor made an offhand comment about the color change in my cervix and how it was probably from the birth control! I asked him what he meant and he told me that birth control isn't really meant to be taken for more than 10 years (I was about at 10 years at that point!) because it can cause changes in the body from so many years of synthetic hormones and it may take the body a lot longer to regulate itself when coming off of them. I'm not someone who freaks out about chemicals and such, but I do think that this is something that women should be made aware of, because no prescribing doctor EVER told me any of that!

 

[zen108]

Welcome drjo.

I never took BC and yet it's so tough.

Kat- u might want to check with your doc. Mine ordered those medicine for me. Antibiotic was to prevent infection, just in case.

 

[drjo718]

Thanks ladies!
Praying: even though it's confusing, I'm glad I'm not the only one who was told she ovulated and never had a +opk!

 

[KatO79]

Welcome drjo.

I never took BC and yet it's so tough.

Kat- u might want to check with your doc. Mine ordered those medicine for me. Antibiotic was to prevent infection, just in case.

I can try with my RE as my GP is an unhelpful tool But I think in Denmark that they're very careful prescribing antibiotics due to multi resistant bacteria being on the rise Think they only give it to you if you have an infection that requires antibiotics, not as a precaution.

 

[pihabella]

Hey ladies need some advice: I have had EWCM for 6 days and O-like pains on CD16 (thurs) but still no pos OPK. I only test once a day so may I have missed my surge? CM is now more creamy on CD18-19. We have been BDing everyday to cover our bases but wondering if need to keep at it ?

 

[Fleur828815]

Kat, so I guess your DH is not like the men described in this article? I find cultural differences so fascinating (I know you’re not seeing it that way though since you’re right in the middle of it).
https://www.howtoliveindenmark.com/...l-in-denmark/dating-danish-men-customs-women/
It’s so good that you get free IUIs and IVFs tries, although I hope you won’t need them!

Praying, hoping your body will go back to normal now and that the HSG will give good news.

Hi cutie, glad to see you over here!

bighouse, I hear you about being just “available” around ovulation. Hopefully the stressful times won’t last for long.

Welcome cutestuff! We all feel a bit envious when we hear of women falling pregnant and carrying to term easily but I wouldn’t wish troubles conceiving / miscarriages on anyone. We have to keep believing we’ll also have a healthy baby soon!

Praying and Kat, I feel so so lucky living where I do and having my friends, their having children has hardly changed our group dynamic. Children are very much part and parcel of whatever we do here, so friends still hang out together and the kids just get passed around to whoever’s willing. Or if we want a more “adult” outing, the kids are left with the grandparents who are more than happy to babysit. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel bad hanging out with my pregnant/mommy friends, I know they’ve very supportive and glad to listen to me, and it goes both ways.

Hollyness, definitely get the fertility workup, at least you’ll know what’s happening. It’s all such a mystery otherwise. My doctor never told me anything about the pill not being meant to be taken for so many years but a pharmacist friend told me to take a break after a few years. I stopped and never went back on it because I got so scared ! But lots of people stop the pill and fall pregnant rapidly, so I’m not sure how much is true.

Hi MJs, glad you enjoyed your week in Napa. Yes, keep up the positive thoughts!

Welcome drjo, a BFP would be such a lovely coincidence, fingers crossed!

pihabella, I don’t have any advice but from what Praying is saying, it is possible to ovulate without getting a positive OPK. Doesn’t make tracking things easier.

Kat, in France also they’re avoid prescribing antibiotics unless you really need them. At least take the painkillers though, and ask about the antibiotics at the clinic, in case there’s a risk of infection? After my D&C they did give a 3-day course as a precaution.