Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[MissDoc]

Angel, that's a good idea about the massages. I don't think insurance will cover massage or chiropractor for me, but if it helps, then it's totally worth it. Can you describe a little the type of stretches your doc recommended?

 

[Angel5000]

I don't know if my insurance would cover massage, I just happen to have a membership that I had already from back when I was working in college at a massage location so I get great costs. I think chiropractor might be covered but I'm not sure, but the cost will be worth if it takes away the pain!

The stretches include: butterfly stretch, "four stretch" and a "pelvic rock". I don't know if these are just her own names or real names. lol. The butterfly has you sit on the ground, feet together (as best as possible) and knees out, like butterfly pose in yoga. stretch forward as much as possible.

"Four Stretch" you put one leg up on something (a stool, chair, counter, whatever your flexibility). The leg that is up is on its side so you have your shin laying on the stool, with the sole of your foot toward your other leg (which you are standing on). It kind of makes you look like you are in a "number 4" shape wiht your legs. Then you bend forward, rock back and forth, etc. I can't explain it well.

The pelvic one is on all fours. You are on hands and knees, and sort of rock your pelvis toward your front, and then back again. Its very similar to cat pose in yoga.


Sorry, that's not very good description...but tis the best I can come up with.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

I forgot to update.. Hcg #3 was 570. If this one doubles, I think we are just going to stop and schedule an ultrasound for the week after Thanksgiving. My first ob appointment is scheduled for December 13 which is not only my 9 week day but my husband's birthday!!

 

[KatO79]

Angel glad that your pain is within the norm and that you have treatment options.

Gagrlinpitt so glad your HCG is going up Yeah probably no need to keep on checking levels. I only had my HCG checked once and that was my blood test scheduled about 14dp2dt.

AFM DH is still driving me nuts. I asked him to take over watching Alexander as he'd been particularly difficult that day and I needed 2-3 hours at least to myself so wanted to only be on bf'ing duty. DH was hopeless at getting him to sleep I told him how I do it since it works most of the time but DH insisted on doing it his way. I ended up taking over as otherwise Alexander wouldn't have gotten any sleep so got very little time for myself. Oh and DH has started going to bed really late (like 1 AM) and it's making him extra moody when he comes home from work Just what I need!

 

[MissDoc]

Angel, thanks for that! It's really helpful. It's funny, I did the butterfly stretch yesterday in a maternity yoga-ish workout and thought to myself, this is probably a good stretch for my pelvis/hip... so that's great!

GaGrl, yay to more good numbers. That is fantastic. Congrats on things being great so far. Did you have multiple hcg checks during your chemical loss?

Kat, so sorry about DH. How frustrating for you that you felt you couldn't even get a couple of hours. For your sake I really hope it's a passing phase! You're working hard, mama!

AFM, had my ob visit today. They checked heartbeat, did a pelvic exam, and urine testing for sugars and protein. Nothing "fun" like a sono or anything. Just recommended that I eat a little more sodium and wear compression socks (my blood pressure is a little low and I feel like I'm going to pass out when I stand still for too long) and continue to exercise to help with circulation. She also recommended considering chiropractic care. So that's something I may try in the upcoming weeks.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

I never had hcgs done during my chemical. My doctor asked me today how long my cycles usually were and when I told him they range from 28-35 days he was like.. You're probably earlier then I thought which would explain the lower numbers. I could possibly only be around 4w4d.

 

[KatO79]

Thanks MissDoc I really hope so as well! Today he's coming home late as he's meeting with his annoying, selfish friend (whom I can't stand) today to shop for records so will be home late Next Friday he's going to the company's Christmas luncheon so will be home even later. So annoying I think he was talking about holding our own Christmas luncheon the weekend after for friends (most of whom haven't seen Alexander yet) at our house although I'm not much for the idea as almost everyone will be getting pretty drunk.

Ugh and it seems as if my toxic mother has been complaining to my MIL about how her car won't start sometimes (because she barely drives the thing more than ½-2 miles once a week) and how difficult it is to have DH and I visit because we "all 3 eat different things" which is BS as DH eats what she does and it's not like I expect a gourmet fish or vegetarian meal. She hasn't even seen Alexander since a couple of days after his birth but I'm glad to be free of hearing her nasty comments. Just surprised as she always favoured her sons so thought she'd only be too willing to see him

 

[Angel5000]

I've been doing some of the stretches my doctor recommended and that seems to be helping some. I was at least able to get around my classroom a little more yesterday. And I've schedule myself a massage for this weekend so that will help loosen some of the muscles too.


Gagrl - that's awesome!! So excited! They'll be able to give you a better estimate of how far you are once they start doing a couple US. Will they do several on you, or just the standard 2? If he's tracking your HCG this long I suspect he'd also do a couple extra US to track measurement, etc.


Kat - Ugh, I am so sorry about your DH. Sometimes I think men just hate to be told to do anything a certain way, because my DH will do that on occasion too when I know the way to do it that works and he wants to do it his way. And in the end we have to do it my way anyway. Why is your DH staying up until 1am? I'd think after a few days of that he'd be so tired he'd have a hard time keeping that schedule up.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

I've been doing some of the stretches my doctor recommended and that seems to be helping some. I was at least able to get around my classroom a little more yesterday. And I've schedule myself a massage for this weekend so that will help loosen some of the muscles too.


Gagrl - that's awesome!! So excited! They'll be able to give you a better estimate of how far you are once they start doing a couple US. Will they do several on you, or just the standard 2? If he's tracking your HCG this long I suspect he'd also do a couple extra US to track measurement, etc.


Kat - Ugh, I am so sorry about your DH. Sometimes I think men just hate to be told to do anything a certain way, because my DH will do that on occasion too when I know the way to do it that works and he wants to do it his way. And in the end we have to do it my way anyway. Why is your DH staying up until 1am? I'd think after a few days of that he'd be so tired he'd have a hard time keeping that schedule up.

I'm not sure exactly what the plan is.. He wants me to wait till the first week of December because I think I'm earlier then by lmp, and he wants us to see a heartbeat.

 

[KatO79]

Kat - Ugh, I am so sorry about your DH. Sometimes I think men just hate to be told to do anything a certain way, because my DH will do that on occasion too when I know the way to do it that works and he wants to do it his way. And in the end we have to do it my way anyway. Why is your DH staying up until 1am? I'd think after a few days of that he'd be so tired he'd have a hard time keeping that schedule up.

Glad the stretches are helping!

Too true although his stubborn behavior leads to Alexander getting less sleep which makes him cranky and affects mostly me during the night - which is why I keep on trying to get DH to do it my way. Otherwise I wouldn't bother! As for the staying up late I have no idea He was already staying up a bit late most nights by going to bed at 11 PM He spends most of that time watching TV or surfing the internet. I'm hoping he sees it for himself that it's stupid as I don't want to fight with him about yet another topic even though it affects me indirectly.

 

[star_e]

Gagrl so happy things are progressing for you. Ftx that everything goes well at next appointment. This is such wonderful news.

Angel glad your pain is normal and you have some options for alleviation.

Miss doc - hope stretching and the compression socks work for you. see how it goes and maybe the chiropractor will be just what's called for.

Kat - really sorry your mom complains so much. I really wish she was supportive. And I totally understand how you are indirectly affected by DHs schedule. That's tough. You're working hard and doing what you need to do for your LO and I wish you had more support. I know you are really tired; it's impressive what you are doing and if DH does not see it, your LO is thankful. I hope DH comes around soon though.

Afm - have a scan coming up on Monday. It's the NT scan. Going to order the home Doppler soon. Hopefully today. Been so so tired and have been busier than I'd like and things won't really slow down for another long while. Oh well. I plan on doing nothing tomorrow which is much needed.

 

[KatO79]

Kat - really sorry your mom complains so much. I really wish she was supportive. And I totally understand how you are indirectly affected by DHs schedule. That's tough. You're working hard and doing what you need to do for your LO and I wish you had more support. I know you are really tired; it's impressive what you are doing and if DH does not see it, your LO is thankful. I hope DH comes around soon though.

Afm - have a scan coming up on Monday. It's the NT scan. Going to order the home Doppler soon. Hopefully today. Been so so tired and have been busier than I'd like and things won't really slow down for another long while. Oh well. I plan on doing nothing tomorrow which is much needed.

Thanks star Yeah I wish she was too but she's never been very supportive so I know not to expect that from her - she's incapable! She's not the only one, my toxic siblings are the same way although I don't have any contact with them anymore (actually planning on going completely no contact with them very soon!). I have more hope for my DH as he's not a narcissist like so many members of my family, he just needs to adjust.

FXed your scan goes well! It's so amazing to see baby at that stage already. I remember thinking how active my baby was in there and I couldn't feel it yet and it made things more real seeing him look more like a baby than he was at the 8 week scan.

Oh and speaking of the , DH and I are actually going to see my mother tomorrow So glad bf'ing is going so well so she can't delight too much although I'm sure she'll find something "wrong" and hit me over the head with it but oh well..... Which reminds me, to those planning on bf'ing I can recommend getting a set of breast shells if you're not into airing your nipples after each bf'ing session (although you can only wear them around 30-40 minutes at a time, otherwise you risk messing up milk ducts or something). I bought 2 sets of Pigeon ones but I think Philips Avent makes some as well. They're not discreet though, especially if you have big boobs like me holly, so can't walk around on the street with them, unless you're wearing a very loose sweater or something or don't mind people thinking you have super huge nipples

 

[Angel5000]

I went and got a massage today. He literally spent the whole hour working on my hips and lower back and glutes, nothing else. Thankfully afterwards my hips weren't hurting anymore and I could walk again. Still have the pelvic pain but it was a little less, and I could tolerate it a lot easier without the combination of pelvis + back and hip pain!

Friday we went and toured one of the local daycare centers that I'm strongly leaning toward using. We won't have to worry about it until September because between my mom and sister and me having summer break off, I've managed to wrangle care until then. I'm really happy with this center, we had a lot of referrals to go there and they have a great educational curriculum that they use, starting as early as infant care. Plus they are breastmilk friendly location (a lot of places are not!) and even encourage moms to come in on lunch break and breast feed in the infant room if they want to. Plus their fees are very reasonable compared to some of the other places around. I'm very happy with this place I think.

We're looking at hospital tour, and the hospital we will deliver at has some pics online which make the birthing suites look pretty nice. I think I've decided to go ahead and sign up for a childbirth class, but of course I'm too late to do a 5-week class so I think we'll do a 2-day class. It'll be a long weekend but they cover all the same info as the 5 week class, just a little quicker. I'm also going to sign us up for infant CPR. There's ALSO a breastfeeding class that's available that I am going to look at since I am so new to everything. I'm the kind of person that likes to over prepare (helps with my anxiety) so I think I'll be doing a few of these. I had thought about it before but honestly most of this pregnancy hasn't felt "real" until right about now!

Ooh!!! and I was able to get a free hospital grade breast pump through my insurance and it came in yesterday. I'm so excited.


Star - Good luck at your scan! Can't wait to hear the results. I remember looking at the baby moving around in there thinking "holy cow she's all over the place, but I Can't feel a single bit of it!"

Kat - Good luck with the visit with your mom!

 

[KatO79]

Wow a massage sounds lovely Think I could've used one now and then myself! Sounds great that your family can and want to help out with baby. Hope the daycare is great. Signing up for a childbirth class is always a good idea, hope yours is good! I never got to do a breastfeeding class as the classes I was going to offered by the midwives was cancelled due to them expecting to be too busy with the 40 extra births they were expecting in October. Although my MIL and others told me there's only so much you get out of those classes anyway as you first learn for real once baby is here and you start breastfeeding. I feel like I'm still learning which is apparently normal. Sounds great about the pump! I have both the manual and single electric Philips Avent ones as those fancier ones are too expensive here

 

[KatO79]

So of course my toxic mother couldn't be nice When I was getting Alexander to latch and had a finger ready to help him open his mouth a bit wider (it was my larger left nipple he had to latch onto), she firstly had her hand behind his head and pushed his head towards my breast plus told me I was blocking him from latching with my finger which was utter BS Can't stand it when people mix in! Forgot to mention that a few weeks ago, DH's aunt did the same thing with pushing his head to my breast. I mean really, Alexander is putting on weight fine and I always get him to latch on within 1-2 minutes

Oh and I'd almost forgotten it's my most toxic brother's birthday today. Going to ignore it with the risk his enabler wife will comment on it within the next day or two

So decided to torture myself and checked out my other (eldest) toxic brother's FB page. Seems as if my toxic siblings are planning on seeing each other here in Denmark next summer. My sister started the conversation on his timeline and it's set so her friends and friends of those friends can see it. Loved my sister's comment during the planning/exchange:

I would love to see everyone....except well you know

My eldest toxic brother's reply:

I won't say anything to her

So might be about time I unfriend the 2 toxic siblings I'm FB friends with and all enablers!

 

[Jezika]

Kat - yeesh, I remember all the stories of the toxic siblings, your toxic bro in particular. Not sure wthehr you mentioned this, but do they know you're preg? I think you said only your mum knows? She won't say anything to them? Anyway, maybe a defriending is in order if it's causing you more hassle than it's worth. As for the latching thing, I can totally see my mum interfering too, though I have a pretty good relationship with her. Luckily MIL would be the complete opposite, like be so worried about meddling that she wouldn't even impart useful advice.

Angel - I'm glad we took prenatal classes, so would highly recommend. I would actually recommend hypnobirthing, which is was we did, or at least getting a book on it. I'm truly sold on the apparent scientific basis of how it can help you have a faster, much less scary/stressful labour. I've gone from being pretty scared to reaaallly excited about labour now.

 

[KatO79]

Jezika yep they know about my pregnancy because my mother told my cousin who told them. I know because my most toxic brother's enabler wife wrote me asking about my due date and that she wanted to hear all about it "if (I) was willing to talk to (them)", so blaming me for the silent treatment Chose not to respond. What's the point? My siblings haven't written to me at all, not one word of congrats or anything They've clearly showed how they feel about me so can just as well go no contact. Just sucks that my DH is still being a jerk at the same time. My DH can't even go a couple of hours without complaining about why it's his job to e.g. get Alexander to sleep. Never mind I don't get out at all and am caring for Alexander all day while DH's life is almost the same and he gets to go to concerts. Tried telling him my frustration but he totally blew me off with an offhand comment of "Yeah Alexander is difficult." When I try to discuss things he says he doesn't want to talk about it and can't we just leave it?
Almost tempted to mention his behavior to his parents but that'd probably not end well.

 

[MissDoc]

Kat, I'm appalled at your family's behavior, but I know it's no surprise to you that they are this way. I went no contact with my family over 5 years ago. Have no clue what my mother is up to these days and don't really care to know. It makes me a little sad that my son will not have a relationship with my side of the family, but they're truly so bad that there is nothing positive for them to offer in the way of a relationship, so it's much better to just not have it at all. Better for my little one to be shielded from that.

 

[Jezika]

Kat, what exactly does DH think HIS contribution as a parent should be? And is there some reason he thinks that outside of 9-5 (during which time you're BOTH working) YOU'RE the one who should be single-handedly responsible for parental duties?

 

[KatO79]

MissDoc so sorry you're in a similar situation. It's true though that toxic family can be so bad that they have nothing to offer. You're definitely doing the right thing keeping them away!

Jezika I have no idea! I don't think he sees it as work. Plus I think he has strange ideas about it because he feels me being the mother gives me special insight in how to e.g. get Alexander to sleep. We argued about that tonight actually and he kept asking me how I do it. I told him how I try and that it doesn't always work and today that it's been especially hard getting him to sleep. But it was like he didn't believe me and muttered angrily that I was being bad by sitting with my mobile phone while he tried to get Alexander to sleep Like wow, yeah how dare I take some time for myself