Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[JoJazie]

Wow Angel, you must have been tired! Are you able to feel comfortable while you are resting? I've heard people get shortness of breath, discomfort laying down and need to go to the bathroom often at night due to hormones, how is that going for you?

Drjo- does that mean that every 1 in 4 women need these antibiotics during labour? Does it mean that all women who have a home birth need to have these antibiotics? What are the side effects of the drug? I'm not planning a home birth (I don't think), but what keeps me going strong is the fact that we've done this for so long that theoretically we shouldn't even need any intervention like antibiotics (or pain relief - theoretically!). Can you direct me to any good reading material on these views? I really don't know where to start with it.

The world of pregnancy is such a confusing one!

Many thanks for any opinions on this

 

[EElse]

Good luck drjo! I hope it is a good sign again.

Angel, I hope that your LO comes soon and that everything goes 100%.

star, glad to hear the scan went well and everything is as it should be. Congrats on the confirmation of the gender. Good luck with the move!

AFM: Started spotting yesterday morning (just when I wipe) and now it is still going but nothing on the pad yet. Very strange especially since I'm now 18dpo.

Good luck to those trying for the new year and all the best to the moms and moms-to-be. May 2017 be absolutely fabulous!

 

[drjo718]

Jojazie- yes, that's what that means. The March of Dimes has a good summary of gbs information at https://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/group-b-strep-infection.aspx. The Mayo Clinic and the CDC are also good sources. The chances of a baby getting gbs during delivery are low, like 1-2% I think, but it can cause debilitating illness and death. I think people who have home births are typically not treated bc they choose to do it that way, but my medical and personal opinion is that it's not worth the risk. I had a midwife delivery in the hospital and was treated. If you want to avoid most interventions, you can be hooked up to the iv just when the antibiotics are due, and then unhooked in between. If you get penicillin, it only takes about 30 minutes to infuse. If you don't have a penicillin allergy, the only side effect is sometimes the vein where the iv is in can burn a little when the medicine goes in, but the nurse can help with that by diluting it more. Keep in mind I'm in the US. Not sure where you are, but the protocols may be different. Hope that helps!

 

[Angel5000]

Day 1 on my official leave. I know I'm supposed to be resting, but I've done laundry and bathed the dogs today. lol and then decided to play video games the rest of the day. It's been nice. DH is telling me I should be resting instead of cleaning house or washing the dogs but I know baby is coming soon and I wanted to make sure these little things were done first.


Star - That's great that the scan went well! and CONGRATS on being Team Blue!

drjo - The week early won't affect my maternity leave. My leave dates are already set with FMLA, so those dates are solid. Being out a week early won't affect me since I'll use sick leave to compensate for that week. It does mean I won't have as much sick leave to use to help pay for my insurance premiums for the months I'm on leave (leave is not paid) or for after I return if baby or I get sick. But we'll figure that out, and hope we don't get sick. I am hoping she doesn't come late because I did set up my leave to start January 9th (technically the 7th, but weekends don't count) and so I'm already worried that if she comes late then I'm losing some of my valuable time with her.

Good luck with the ovulation!


Kat - I didn't think it was possible either, but the woman who ran our birthing class is also a labor support / doula and does lactation help (plus went through the same thing with her own 5 kids as a working mom who breastfed) so she seems to know what she was talking about. From what I understand from her (and from my friends who work and pumped) you produce milk as a "supply and demand" kind of thing. The more demand, the more you produce (assuming everything is working as it should), and that your body learns to produce more milk during the times that baby is usually feeding. So if baby feeds every 2-3 hours, you are producing milk to feed at that rate, etc. If you are adding pumping to that, your body just thinks you are feeding baby more often so after a day or two it would adjust to produce more milk to take care of that. It makes sense, especially since women years ago (think 1800s and earlier) hired wet nurses to breast feed their babies because "classy women" didn't BF. But many of those wet nurses were feeding their own child plus other people's and they produced enough milk to do it. And women who have twins can easily produce enough milk to feed them. It helps that I have a friend whose mom is a Lactation nurse and she's got tons of tricks and ideas for getting your body to produce more if it's not producing enough, and how to pump and BF and storage etc.

A couple of my friends had said that their babies would eat every 2-3 hours during the day but started sleeping through the night fairly quickly and they found that their body just adjusted and produced more milk during the day and less at night to meet baby schedule.

I will need to pump to have milk for baby while I'm at work. I'm looking into how I can start pumping earlier (during mat leave) and storing it. Breast milk can be frozen for up to several months (I've heard anywhere from 5-12 depending on the freezer temp) so I'm going to look into starting to pump early on and store milk up in advance. Then I don't have to worry as much when I go back to work about having to keep up a little storage supply.



JoJazie - I can get comfortable most of the time. Now that baby has dropped it's a lot easier to get comfortable with breathing at least. Before it could be really hard to breathe. Laying down is okay as long as I have pillows for support, the hardest part is my hips/pelvis have a lot of pain and so laying down in certain positions for very long can be painful. The needing to go to the bathroom a lot at night from hormones happens mostly in 1st Tri. In 2nd tri and early 3rd tri I almost never needed to get up, or only once. Now though, because she's dropped, she's putting a lot of pressure on my bladder so I get up at least twice at night, sometimes 3-4 times if I drink a lot in the evening (and I tend to drink a ton of water all the time so it's common to get up 2-3 times a night now). When I was working it was a lot harder, I was coping okay but the hardest part was the random insomnia. I'd fall asleep quickly around 9pm, wake up around 11pm to go to the bathroom and and wake up 1-2am and wouldn't be able to go back to sleep at all. I'd be wide awake staring at the ceiling until 4-5am. My alarm goes off at 5 for work so I was getting 4 hours of sleep max. It was really hard. Doctor actually suggested I take tylonel pm or benedryl before bed for a couple weeks because I wasn't sleeping. It saved my life. Since i've been on break I haven't been taking anything because if I have insomnia now I know I can fall back asleep eventually and just sleep during the day.

As for the GBS - like drjo said, the risk is actually pretty small (1-2% my doctor said) that the baby would catch GBS if you choose not to treat with antiobiotics. The problem is that the effects are so horrible and death a very real possibility if they do catch it, that protocol is to automatically test and treat women who have it. I honestly don't know if those who do home births get the antibiotics because it's done through IV. I assume they don't get it. And of course they wouldn't use any antibiotics that could cause any harm to the baby. I know at least one or two people in one of my due date groups that said they were GBS positive in several of their pregnancies and did home births and refused antibiotics and their babies were fine. And that's completely their choice. I, on the other hand, have waited and tries for years for this baby and am not willing to risk her life with even a 1-2% chance she could catch a deadly disease when it is 100% preventable with no risk to her. But, that's also my personal opinion. I've had 2 losses already. I just can't imagine the possibility that I could lose her when I've made it this far already.

You are right in that we've been giving birth for hundreds or thousands of years. BUT the survival rate of both mothers and babies has also significantly increased over time due to medical interventions such as these. Theoretically you could argue we shouldn't need the interventions because we didn't have them before, but death during child birth was a real danger. Even in the early 1900s (like the 1920s-40s), about 8% of women died in child birth. That doesn't even cover the babies who died.

 

[JoJazie]

Star - it's a boy! Yay! How did you tell your family? I bet they were pleased. So is it mould in the house? Either way, you know it was mostly undisturbed while you were at the house and you will be moving away from it now. Thank goodness

EElse - when will you test? I'm in Oz so time is different. It's Saturday now!

DrJo - thank you very much for the clarification. I'll do a bit of reading on that. When the time comes I'd like minimal intervention, but if it doesn't go that way, I'd like to know what I'm being given. As for your own progress, when will you test? Or are you waiting for a missed period? We stocked up on Opk and a pregnancy test. I think I O in about a week and a half, but we'll see.

Angel - sounds like you're at full throttle! But you know what, at least there's no feeling guilty about playing vid games for the rest of the day - it's doctors orders
Have you considered talking to a doula? Or googling remedies on how to get the baby moving? There's some natural ways, I think including acupuncture to start the process of preparing your body. I'm not certain of the details but you could look into that to help with the dates and maternity/sick leave??
And wow, the sleep issues sound excruciating! How's your sleep now? Do you feel rested with your naps? You sound like my replica - I need to be doing something all the time and feel guilty when I rest too much. Luckily I've been able to tell myself I'm still doing something when I rest - to rest - because my body needs it!
Oh and please don't think I'm one of those women who put others down because of opinion and personal choice - I'm all for support no matter the choice here �� (Can never tell on text like we can in person can we - just wanting to make sure!). The stats on births and deaths are not something I've yet researched. I'm barely skimming the surface on any of it and I don't expect I'll ever feel ready - I'm not even pregnant yet �� My midwife-to-be tells me just to get pregnant, then worry about all the other stuff. But that's just not the way I roll. The research and you guys here reassure me regardless of what ends up happening So thanks for that ��

So I'm due to O in the next week and a half. Will see how we go. Of course, I'll keep all updated All the best over the NY celebrations! And especially Kat and Jezika with you new bubs in arms!

All the best to the rest of us waiting on BFPs in 2017 too! ����

 

[drjo718]

I'll probably be testing around Jan 8.

 

[KatO79]

Angel ah ok I understood you wrong because I thought you weren't going to be pumping milk for your daughter and only pump to get comfortable during work hours. You should be able to start pumping around 4 days after you give birth as it's around there your milk comes in although you won't be making much at first unless you develop an oversupply issue. As for creating a supply of milk in your freezer, be aware that your milk changes it's contents over the months so it's optimal for your baby at that point in her life. So milk you pump and store when she's e.g. 2 months old isn't optimal in it's contents for when she's e.g. 6 months.
As for sttn that is technically when they sleep for 5 hours. I don't think a baby really sleeps through e.g. from 11 pm to 6 am until they're older and eating food like mashes as breast milk is quickly digested. Alexander is almost 3 months and he only sttn with 5 hours some nights. So unless that's what your friends mean then either they fed their babys formula or are remembering wrong

 

[cutestuff]

Hi everyone. I can't believe it's been a year already. E else I had implantation spotting starting from 5 or 6 days after ovulation and tested about 2-3 days before af was supposed to start. It can happen so if you don't normally spot before your a for if it doesn't turn into a full af I would test.
Kat I totally remember going through that phase when my lo was littler and dh didn't feel he could help. Remember most guys don't really know what to do and with some they get angry when nothing they do calms baby and take it out on moms. Co sleeping can be a solution we do and dh tosses and turns all night I just put my arm around baby so I can feel him if he gets too close. One word of caution is if you do that weaning baby will be hard.
Angel I pumped with a manual pump. I only worked a few months and only did a few bottles a day. I pumped twice maybe three times a day and for 5-10 minutes a time. I reduced my supply a lot but since I was only coming home with maybe 8 ounces of milk per day we had to supplement with a bottle of formula.
Not sure who said this but at about 4 months you start introducing solids which means you aren't breastfeeding as much for nutrition and then sleeping habits change too. For my lo she started taking just two naps per day one am and one pm. She still wakes every few hours at night for boobies but I think that's cause we all sleep together and it's comforting to her. Now at 13 months she eats whatever we eat and has decided to boycott all forms of sleep.
I hope no one minds I'm back .... Hubby and I are planning to try for another later this year and for now we are ntnp. Congrats to all the new moms and new bfps star that's great it's a boy. So many cute clothes

Hope you all have a blessed new year and feel free to ask be whatever... Btw I had a hemorrhage post partumn as well and a follow up d&c not fun

 

[KatO79]

Hi cutestuff nice to see you here again! Oy if it's going to make weaning extra hard, I definitely don't think co sleeping is for us, Alexander is already pretty obssessed with my boobs as it is Can't wait until he can start solids so I can get more sleep and my boobs can get a break once in a while Just have to get through 1 more month before we can start. Glad things are going well with your LO although sorry you had issues after the birth, GL on TTC #2! As for your advice to Angel that's what i was thinking, that it would reduce her supply if she's not pumping every 2-3 hours during work hours and would end up needing to supplement with formula.

AFM Alexander is totally impossible to get to sleep today I took him for a walk in his carriage for almost 1 hour and think he only slept for maybe 1 hour after that. Couldn't get him to sleep after I'd fed him so did the same thing with a walk in his carriage and the same thing happened. Luckily DH came home just before he woke up and is now trying to get him to sleep. Maybe he'll have an easier time although it doesn't look like it as Alexander is behaving the same way he was behaving with me minus going after the boobs for comfort eating.

 

[drjo718]

Kat, have you tried just letting Alexander play until he goes to sleep on his own? Just asking because for several months, nora was just a cat-napper. She'd snooze for 10 or 1t minutes at a time and be wide awake in between. Trying to get her to sleep was just asking for trouble. Another thought, do you have a swing? That's the only place nora would nap. We have one that swings and vibrates. She doesn't use it anymore, but it was wonderful when she did. Even now at 8 months, she usually naps in mid afternoon for a couple hours, but that's it. Every baby is different, and she certainly never followed the norm for typical baby napping amounts.

 

[cutestuff]

Hi cutestuff nice to see you here again! Oy if it's going to make weaning extra hard, I definitely don't think co sleeping is for us, Alexander is already pretty obssessed with my boobs as it is Can't wait until he can start solids so I can get more sleep and my boobs can get a break once in a while Just have to get through 1 more month before we can start. Glad things are going well with your LO although sorry you had issues after the birth, GL on TTC #2! As for your advice to Angel that's what i was thinking, that it would reduce her supply if she's not pumping every 2-3 hours during work hours and would end up needing to supplement with formula.

AFM Alexander is totally impossible to get to sleep today I took him for a walk in his carriage for almost 1 hour and think he only slept for maybe 1 hour after that. Couldn't get him to sleep after I'd fed him so did the same thing with a walk in his carriage and the same thing happened. Luckily DH came home just before he woke up and is now trying to get him to sleep. Maybe he'll have an easier time although it doesn't look like it as Alexander is behaving the same way he was behaving with me minus going after the boobs for comfort eating.

For many women to have a large supply of milk at work isn't good especially as your boobs engorge and working with some populations make that inappropriate I was just saying it's true but it took me about a week for my supply do start reducing and I only made enough to make like 3 2-3 oz bottles so total of 9-12 oz of milk so there were a couple days we had to use formula.
As for the sleeping I still breastfeed at night and nap time but if anything since she sometimes boycotts sleep I get even less sleep. At this stage as he's still tiny and getting into a schedule try laying down with him at nap time to rest. I learned too that if my dh and I were tense lo had a harder time relaxing and it takes time learning all the sleep cycles since every kid is different. Try moving bedtime a half hour earlier and have a routine. Most nights for us it's a bath around 430 or 5 pm followed by dinner or a snack and teeth brushing and then about 730 or 8 it's bedtime. It can also help if you give do a lot of activities. It will get easier I promise you will learn his cues and find ways to limit him being over tired and even fussier.

 

[KatO79]

Kat, have you tried just letting Alexander play until he goes to sleep on his own? Just asking because for several months, nora was just a cat-napper. She'd snooze for 10 or 1t minutes at a time and be wide awake in between. Trying to get her to sleep was just asking for trouble. Another thought, do you have a swing? That's the only place nora would nap. We have one that swings and vibrates. She doesn't use it anymore, but it was wonderful when she did. Even now at 8 months, she usually naps in mid afternoon for a couple hours, but that's it. Every baby is different, and she certainly never followed the norm for typical baby napping amounts.

If I tried that he would get overtired, he doesn't go to sleep on his own other than when he's tired and nursing. I do have a swinging chair but the times we've had him in it, it hasn't put him to sleep It's this one actually:



Walking with him in his baby carriage works although can be impractical, especially in the middle of the night. Other than that we have to rock him either in our arms or in his carrycot to get him to sleep.

 

[KatO79]

As for the sleeping I still breastfeed at night and nap time but if anything since she sometimes boycotts sleep I get even less sleep. At this stage as he's still tiny and getting into a schedule try laying down with him at nap time to rest. I learned too that if my dh and I were tense lo had a harder time relaxing and it takes time learning all the sleep cycles since every kid is different. Try moving bedtime a half hour earlier and have a routine. Most nights for us it's a bath around 430 or 5 pm followed by dinner or a snack and teeth brushing and then about 730 or 8 it's bedtime. It can also help if you give do a lot of activities. It will get easier I promise you will learn his cues and find ways to limit him being over tired and even fussier.

We've tried laying down with him to help him sleep, it doesn't work and especially not when he's overtired, he just lays there and cries. I've on occasion slept with him in my arms after he's fallen asleep but it's not like I can do that every time. At 3 months there's not much of a routine I can do, I mostly just put him to bed after nursing since he'll at night be tired during and falls into a light sleep. Which means I have to rock him a bit while I'm putting him in his carrycot to sleep. As for activities I think he gets over stimulated after a while, I've noticed that he can only be on his playmat for maybe 10 minutes before he starts crying.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat - I'm sorry that you're having trouble getting him to go to sleep. That's awful.


cutestuff - Thanks for the info about BF and pumping and whatnot. You're right, engorged breasts are not appropriate for certain populations, and I teach high school kids. Would not be an appropriate situation at all! By the time I go back to work she'll be approximately 3 months so, my personal theory si that while I want to BF as much as possible, I'm not against having to supplement with a formula bottle on occasion. i'm actually thinking that if I have to use formula once a day or so because of reduced milk I'm okay with that.

TBH - as a teacher, regular pumping is absolutely not practical, and I don't want to put additional difficulties on the other teachers who would have to give up their very little prep time to step into my classroom and cover for me so I can pump. Plus, neither my mother or my sister could BF for long because of problems with supply so I will be honestly surprised if I can BF exclusively anyway.

 

[KatO79]

Thanks Angel

DH ended up having almost as hard of a time getting him to sleep so Alexander didn't get more than maybe 1 hour each time and it was mostly a very unsettled sleep. I reached my breaking point this morning, tried bf'ing him to sleep lying down to no avail so started bawling. DH then decided to be a total ass and instead of stopping getting ready to go to work, he stood there and asked me "Should I try?" in this really annoying way. I got a bit sarcastic and told him nope, why should he and he said "Well it was just an offer" which made me see red so I told him "It's also your son, you're not supposed to be making offers, you're supposed to be helping me!" He took him and got him to sleep only then to go upstairs to get something so he made noise and I saw Alexander startle a bit. Needless to say Alexander woke up barely 1 hour later Oh and to my crying DH said I needed to stop it as he couldn't handle both me and Alexander crying I've now called DH's parents and they're going to get here as fast as they can since my MIL has an appointment and my FIL can't drive due to his cataracts. My MIL offered to try calling my DH but I told her not to bother as he knows about the situation and doesn't seem to care enough. My health care provider suggested not driving Alexander around in his carriage but just rocking him to sleep in it, FXed! Oh and she said "What do you think all this is doing to your milk production?" in a concerned way, I told her "I know, it's taking a nosedive but apparently my DH doesn't give a rat's ass and is prioritising his job!" Honestly, if the situations where reversed I'd either explain to my boss the need to stay home today or if I felt my boss wouldn't sympathise, I'd fib and say I have food poisoning and am barfing up a storm so need to stay home. But nope, DH couldn't do that

 

[JoJazie]

Oh Kat u poor thing! Did your in laws help? It sounds as if your DH has stepped up a bit now that he's at least offering to help? You're so lucky to have reliable in laws to help,you out. My in laws would back their son every time, no matter what (which is sweet, but I've learnt not to rely on them when they're in between discussions between DH and I)

 

[PSamuel]

No joy for my December cycle either ladies! Boo

My BBT dropped on the 30th and the spotting post implantation started, so I had a feeling AF would show, so I sobbed my eyes out that morning, coz i was pretty bummed out. 31st morning AF promptly showed up, but I was ok by then. Taking it in stride. Guess considering my dec cycle was so weird (overlap of AF and fertile week), I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. But on the other hand my body was behaving very differently, so though that was due to getting preggers. Oh well, I know better now.

I've come to the conclusion that my body is just changing with every cycle and it is not specific to being pregnant, so on that note I am going to try and not read anything into every ache and sore and pinch!

The new year has started off with renewed hope! So onto cycle 5!

 

[cutestuff]

Angel.... Yea I knew you were a teacher but didn't know which grade. Supplementing isn't a big deal but your body will need a minute to adjust. I would recommend not pumping at home at all so you don't overproduce. Then the first week away will be rough but if you set aside three breaks... And pump half and half... Part of a bottle on one side and the rest on the other you will cut down your supply and still have enough to breast feed at night.
Kay I'm sorry that sucks. It is hard to have a schedule for babies that young for sure. Do you have anyone you can call for help? Sometimes someone who isn't tense can get baby to sleep a bit. I learned that one day when dh and I were not excited about each other and lo refused to sleep and would just cry. My mom came over and instantly she quieted down and fell asleep. It's stressful and hard and sucks. I wish I could give you a hug and helped

 

[KatO79]

Jo yep my ILs came just shortly before Alexander woke up. I followed my health care provider's advice and did as followed to get him to sleep: give him a woolen cap and mittens on, pack him in his Voksi sleeping bag, give him one of your used items of clothing (so he has my scent), put him in his carriage outside (Alexander actually sleeps better outside), rock him to sleep. It worked and he slept for about 2½ hours She said walking him around in his carriage will most likely result in less sleep as he'll sense the carriage stopped at some point. Anyway my ILs only woke me to bf'ed Alexander so got some sleep. So sorry your ILs are like that. DH's also are a bit like that, it's probably natural to mostly defend your own child.

PS so sorry about the BFN and AF I think it's best as well to stop symptom spotting. I know it was driving me nuts when I was TTCing so I dropped it after 6-7 months. FXed your BFP comes really soon

cutestuff luckily like I told Jo my ILs came today and gave me a much needed break plus making sure Alexander got more sleep after his 2½ hour nap. I don't have anyone else to call as my toxic mother 1) is toxic so she'd just delight in my problems and 2) she can't figure out how to drive to my house anyway and has no interest in learning to use a GPS. Here's hoping I make at least 1-2 friends with the women from my Mother Group so we can also help each other out in these type of situations.

 

[star_e]

drjo - fx that you get your bfp this cycle! have my fx for jan 8th as you mentioned you might test then.

elelse - good luck with this next cycle! have you tested?

angel - i can totally understand wanting to clean the house and wash the dogs, i’d prob do the same thing b/c it saves you worry later when you will be more tired. hope you are resting now though. I’m glad tylenol pm is helping you with your sleep. my problem right now is that i wake up in middle of night and then can’t go back to sleep.

jojazie - i did a gender reveal cake party. it was lots of fun fx that you get your bfp this cycle. i think you mentioned you O soon, so good luck!

cute stuff - so cute you are trying for another LO. good luck!

psamuel - sorry that af showed. that’s so frustrating. i really hope this next cycle works and glad you have renewed hope. thats important.

kat - so sorry that its been tough getting him to sleep, but glad your health care gave you some good advice and it seemed to work for those 2.5 hours. I’m sure that was nice. bf seems like it can be tricky, but would you say that its not necessary to pump much if a person can feed the child every 2-3 hours. I’m just thinking of my plan for the future and will stay at home and not go to work. i might want to pump just so that maybe some nights, maybe the weekend, DH can take a night shift and use the bottle. i guess i’ll have more questions as i learn more, but glad you all discuss it here b/c its so helpful.

afm - moving tomorrow. still no news on the mold, but we went back to the apt yesterday even though we have technically moved out (our stuff is out, but we will fly out tomorrow morning) b/c we had to check the mail one last time. and we saw another mold man from the same company there and he told us that there was mold but we needed to wait on the test results to find out what type. just annoyed b/c of course the landlord didn’t tell us this and was so annoying when he tried to pretend it was water damage and not mold when it was very clearly mold.