Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Butterflyfrog]

Thank you Jezika that's really helpful. I got one which says '6 days early so fingers crossed it will work AND I will get my BFP! Trying to be positive! I've seen a few posts that say they're too risky, lots of the rides apparently say unsuitable for pregnant women. As I'm trying to hide my TTC from my family it might be difficult to say the reason why I'm not going on everything though... eeeek! If I get any BFP I will tell them. If not I will see how I feel...

Re BDing we used to every day anyway before trying and he just went for it once we weren't having to be careful! It's not a pressure thing so if we're not doing anything harmful/negative then that's good

Hi Kat thank you very much, wishing a short and sweet journey too! Thanks for the link, that's the one I was looking at before! I'm not fussed about going on the rides, more about telling my family... I will have to do what's best to the best of my knowledge I guess... it's hard...

This thread, and this site, are so lovely, it's great to see support and not condemnation as I have seen on other sites. So thank you for that! Wishing everyone lots of love and best wishes

 

[mzpiggy]

Hi everyone. I'm new here, but I have been doing a little lurking for the past few days . I'm trying to keep up with all the lingo

This is my 2nd month of TTC. I'm turning 31 this year & recently moved to NYC from California, but I'm Canadian. My husband & I were waiting for the "right time" to try, but obviously there will never be the right time so we decided to take the plunge. We are also trying to figure out which country to live in (California or Canada) as NYC is way too expensive!!!!

I hope everyone's children are healthy, your pregnancies go well & TTC is successful

 

[KatO79]

Gagrlinpitt wow lucky you that your mom and mil are shopping for baby! I'm sure she will be

Butterflyfrog ok if you want to avoid rides but not let your family know you're TTCing, I suppose you could fake illness, like an iffy stomache or something. But don't know if they'd jump to the conclusion you're either pregnant or TTCing?

 

[drjo718]

Kat- glad to hear the christening went well.

Gagrl- yay for a girl! I was going to guess girl based on your ultrasound .

Butterfly- how soon before your period is due are you going to the amusement park? I know you said earlier but I can't remember. I would say if you're using a first response early result, and you're 2 days or closer to your period, and you get a negative, you could go on rides. That's not a guarantee you're not pregnant, but those tests are good at picking up low amounts of hcg. There are so many women who rode roller coasters before they knew they were pregnant or even throughout the 1st trimester, and nothing bad happened, but that's also anecdotal evidence. Any professional website will tell you not to ride thrill rides, as will the signs at the park, but that's typically more due to liability reasons. It gets riskier the further you are in pregnancy, and the risk is that sudden stops or jerks can potentially tear the placenta from the uterine wall, or when the belly is large, very hard direct hits to the abdomen can cause problems. This is actually quite rare in any circumstance, as even women in serious car accidents can have unaffected pregnancies. Ultimately the choice is yours, but there's some information for you.

Afm, I'm on vacation in california. I don't know if I posted here that I had spitting for 3 hours Wednesday morning. Had an ultrasound and heard a little heart beating at 116bpm. They did find a simple cyst on my left ovary, which I had with nora, and a small subchorionic hemorrhage. I bled for about 24 hours ending last night. Mistly when wiping but enough that i needed a liner. I'm hoping everything is fine and it's just the hemorrhage bleeding. We did a little hiking Saturday that may have irritated it. Trying to not do anything too strenuous the rest of the trip. Today we'll do some swimming and maybe walk around. Tomorrow we'll be at Disneyland, so a lot of casual walking, and I obviously won't be going on any thrill rides. Wednesday is the beach and whatever else we decide to go see. Then we fly back Thursday and I work 13 hour shifts on Friday and Saturday. I have another ultrasound on the 15th with the midwife, but I might need to schedule with radiology of perinatology to check the SCH size.

 

[Jezika]

DrJo - hope it's just the SCH and it resolves quickly. First tri spotting can be very scary for sure. I had it on and off and no one could figure out why

Kat - I love the pics and especially love putting faces to names. I find it so interesting because I always unintentionally start imagining what people online look like. I'm guessing your mum wasn't in the photos? Alexander's christening gown is epic btw!

Gag - a loved little girl indeed! If I remember correctly you were hoping for a girl?

Mzpiggy - welcome! And come back to Canada!! Where were you living?

Butterfly - I hear you re: other sites. This one is so much more supportive that other ones I've tried. Like night and day.

 

[KatO79]

drjo glad that the spotting isn't anything serious and hope you manage to have a good vacation! Hope your u/s looks good too!

Jezika nope she left right after the church ceremony and those pics were taken in DH's and I's backyard. Thanks although it's DH's family gown, been in the family for many years. I think the first person got christened in it in the 60s.

AFM Alexander had his 5 month check yesterday and everything looked good. He's now 68 cm long His eczema was pretty much gone so the GP couldn't give me and advice but said the Aveeno Baby Eczema Therapy cream I've been using is fine (DH and my MIL weren't too sure of it since it isn't sold here and therefore doesn't have the safety markings that baby/allergy safe creams have). He also had his 5 month vaccinations which strangely enough have left him with a fever (his 3 month ones didn't and they're the exact same brands he got) He was impossible to get to sleep today, tried for 2 hours before getting a hold of DH who came home and after my 4 hour struggle seems to be had a much easier time getting Alexander to sleep Great, but makes me feel like a crappy mother

 

[Greensboroug]

I am 32. Really hoping my age is not a factor, since I put off having children in my twenties for career. I would not want to pay for this mistake.

 

[KatO79]

Greensboroug welcome! I hope your journey is short and sweet! 32 shouldn't be too much of an issue, I think they say it's first when you're 35 that your fertility starts to drop quickly.

AFM Alexander has started his horrible shreeking again and being really fussy so I fear he may have started Leap 5 now According to my app he should first start in 6 days but I think he started earlier last time so could be. Oh and last evening DH tried my patience. He now takes over Alexander most of the time in the evenings to give me a breather (he does this more or less grudgingly). Yesterday Alexander was overtired a bit and it was DH who had to get him to sleep. After 1 hour DH came out and said he was done and wasn't going back in. I calmly said he had to because he couldn't leave Alexander alone like that and not in the middle of trying to get him to sleep. DH kept on saying he refused to go back in so in the end I completely lost it and practically shouted with my most serious look on my face "Get your a** back in there right now!!!!" He did go back in after that and got Alexander to sleep but geez, it's crazy I sometimes have to resort to measures like that

 

[Butterflyfrog]

drjo718 it will be a day before my period is due. I have been taking tests nearly everyday, obsessive I know. Took 2 early ones and nothing and think I got my period this morning. Not 100% sure as it's very light but I think the witch got me. Never thought I would be so upset. I know no one gets pregnant first time I was just holding onto that hope that it might be. I just waited so long to start trying it's just so hard. Can't imagine how hard I'm going to do this month after month

Greensborog I get what you're saying. Putting off babies for whatever reason (for me it was weight (just lost 6 and half stone) and finances. Feels stupid now.... hope your journey is short and sweet. What cycle are you on?

 

[KatO79]

I know no one gets pregnant first time I was just holding onto that hope that it might be. I just waited so long to start trying it's just so hard. Can't imagine how hard I'm going to do this month after month

Not entirely true, a very few do get pregnant the first cycle. Some are just luckier than others

My advice is to just go with the flow at this stage and not expect to be pregnant every month. If you do end up having a longer journey, you'll burn out quicker if you keep on thinking you're pregnant each and every cycle.

AFM ugh so, so sorry for another rant about my toxic mother but she called DH today complaining about pain in her arm. Don't know if she was trying to fake a heart attack or what but if she was, she chose the wrong arm because she complained about her right arm Oh and she's now claiming my cousin is the one that bitched about me choosing DH's family Christening gown and not her - yeah, right, like I'd believe that one

 

[Butterflyfrog]

Kat079 I kinda meant metaphorically 'no one' as a quote that lots of people have said to me, I know some people do, including my sister in law who is 37 and pregnant with number 4! She had sex 4 times and was pregnant. As you say, some are luckier than others... thank you for the advice, I know the key is to try and relax, I don't think I will be as bad next month, hope not anyway. Going to track my ovulation more this month and maybe spend a bit of money getting some more sensitive ovulation tests and my best friend said the cheap ones are useless...

Sorry to hear about the negativity from your mother, hope things start to improve, don't need stress like that whilst TTC xxx

 

[KatO79]

Kat079 I kinda meant metaphorically 'no one' as a quote that lots of people have said to me, I know some people do, including my sister in law who is 37 and pregnant with number 4! She had sex 4 times and was pregnant. As you say, some are luckier than others... thank you for the advice, I know the key is to try and relax, I don't think I will be as bad next month, hope not anyway. Going to track my ovulation more this month and maybe spend a bit of money getting some more sensitive ovulation tests and my best friend said the cheap ones are useless...

Sorry to hear about the negativity from your mother, hope things start to improve, don't need stress like that whilst TTC xxx

Ah ok As for your SIL, I've heard that once you've had a baby or two, the next ones are generally easier to conceive (although secondary infertility does exist!). As for relaxing that does seem to work for the vast majority! When I used OPKs I think I used some cheapies, Wondfos I think. They seemed pretty good to me!

As for my mother thanks but unfortunately she's a toxic, highly narcissitic mom with 0 interest in improving our relationship or not making her own wants, needs and feelings way more important than everyone else's, including those of her children and grandchildren. She's been like this since I was born and she just gets worse with age so no hope I'm afraid! As for TTCing if I do decide to go for a 2nd, I can't start until earliest October 2018 as I had an elective c-section with my son (they thought he was a big baby) and they recommended me to hold off on getting pregnant until 2 years have passed so the uterus can better handle e.g. any contractions I might get towards the end of my pregnancy. Although they highly recommended I get another c-section as they fear me trying for a vaginal birth puts me at risk for the uterus scar opening up during contractions.

 

[Butterflyfrog]

Yeah it's crazy, she has an 18 yo, 17 yo, 10 yo and decided on another one! My sister is TTC #2 and struggling because of PCOS and problems with an ectopic she had years ago. And my best friend had a baby boy 15 days ago! So it's baby city around me! Very difficult... but also wonderful at the same time.

That is so sad to hear, what a horrendous set of circumstances to deal with. Cannot even imagine the difficultly you are facing. I am so grateful to have a close relationship with my mum but my SIL has a similar situation. What are your in laws like? Do you have a supportive MIL? I hope so... sorry for the assumption you were TTC, sounds like you had a tough time with #1. Obviously all worth it!!! Best of luck if you decide to go for number2

 

[KatO79]

Yeah it's crazy, she has an 18 yo, 17 yo, 10 yo and decided on another one! My sister is TTC #2 and struggling because of PCOS and problems with an ectopic she had years ago. And my best friend had a baby boy 15 days ago! So it's baby city around me! Very difficult... but also wonderful at the same time.

That is so sad to hear, what a horrendous set of circumstances to deal with. Cannot even imagine the difficultly you are facing. I am so grateful to have a close relationship with my mum but my SIL has a similar situation. What are your in laws like? Do you have a supportive MIL? I hope so... sorry for the assumption you were TTC, sounds like you had a tough time with #1. Obviously all worth it!!! Best of luck if you decide to go for number2

Yeah wow there's a bit of an age gap between some of those kids! So sorry about your sister, is she currently TTCing naturally or has she considered looking into assisted conception? My DH and I ended up needing IVF to conceive. So great about your best friend though! I can imagine that it must be difficult at the same time though.

My ILs are for the most part pretty nice although my MIL especially refuses to understand what my mother is and falls for all her crap I've given up trying to educate her, she refuses to believe that a mother can be so evil I guess, especially as her own mother is such a lovely person. No apologies needed, I was TTC when I originally joined this thread but have stuck around since getting my BFP and having my son. Yeah TTCing proved to be a longer journey for me. In short, I tried for about 1 year naturally, then did 6 IUIs with injectables that all failed (not even a CP to show for it!) and then we moved on to IVF. My 1st IVF resulted in a CP (knew it was a CP because the clinic at the hospital measured my HCG levels and they were way too low for it to be viable) and I lost it in the beginning of December (really gets you in the Christmas spirit). I'd had 3 eggs that all 3 fertilised but the 2 remaining embies weren't good enough to freeze so had to start over. My 2nd IVF I had 2 eggs that both fertilised but one was fragmented beyond being viable and had to be discarded while the last one was a top quality embie. That top quality embie is now my son

Thanks, I'm still trying to decide with DH if we want a 2nd or not. Right now super grateful for my son and enjoying him fully

 

[EElse]

Hi Greensboroug, I'm also 32, turning 33 in July. We started TTC end of 2013, so it's more than 3 years now. We were NTNP for the first two years of our marriage and at the start of the third year, we decided to TTC.

Our doctor first wanted us to just try naturally but after two years, he sent us for tests. Mine all came back clear (even had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy, just to be thorough) but DH has low sperm count. He's on medication to hopefully improve the count but if it doesn't work, they'll try a surgical procedure and after that, well, then we'll see what the next step is.

Here in South Africa, getting IVF is not easy and most medical aids don't cover the price so we'll have to save up for that.

My fertile window is this week so we'll keep our fingers crossed I have a runny nose and headache today, just hope it doesn't turn into a full-blown cold or flu

Good luck to everyone TTC, I hope this is the year we all get our

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Keeping fingers crossed for you Else!

 

[drjo718]

Eelse, when is your birthday? I turn 33 on July 18.

 

[Angel5000]

I really thought I wrote a reply a long time ago but apparently I never did because it isn't here.... wow. Okay so I'll recap what I can.

I had a great chat with a friend of mine on Monday regarding Melody's sleeping. She’s got 4 kids (20 and 17, and two “oopsies” while TTA – 2 years and 5 months!) and she’s had great success getting all 4 to sleep well and sleep through the night (6+ hours) by 3 months old (and only the first did it on her own the others needed some “help&#8221. She gave me some pretty helpful advice. The most important being consistency and routine. So now I make sure to do the same thing before every nap and bedtime: swaddle, turn on the heater/fan and the shower white noise machine, bounce her on the yoga ball and sing the same lullaby. Melody falls asleep in under 5 minutes most of the time, 10 min sometimes but almost never longer. :woohoo: The hard part is getting her to stay asleep. I put her down in her bassinet and tuck an extra blanket around her because the swaddle sack we are using is too big width wise, but the size smaller is way too small length wise (tall skinny baby). Day 1 she wouldn’t say asleep more than 5 minutes once I put her down, by evening I got one 30 minute nap from her. Day 2 was 10 minutes and then in the afternoon I finally got a 30 and then later a 45 minute nap. The third day was the same 10 minute thing all morning, but I got three 45 minute naps in the afternoon/evening, AND at night time she slept 2-4 hours and after night time feeding went back in her bassinet and slept well! I’m so excited! I don’t mind cosleeping but I prefer to have my bed back.

Okay this is going to sound crazy but...my sister thinks Melody is starting teething! I know that 9 weeks is way early but my niece cut her first tooth right around 9-10 weeks, so I know it can happen. Yesterday Melody was over the top fussy, way more than normal. This wasn't just fussy, it was a painful screaming. She was absolutely refusing to eat anything. I finally got her to take a bottle but she spent most of the time chewing on the nipple instead of sucking, it took me an hour to get her to finish 2 ounces, she usually finishes 2 oz in a bottle pretty quickly. I had to pump twice yesterday because she wouldn't feed from me at all and I became really engorged (but at least I got 12 ounces stashed away in the freezer because of it). The amount of drool this kiddo was producing yesterday was insane, way more than she ever has, and she kept gnawing on anything she could get in her mouth: hands, bottle, pacifier, cold washcloth (that made her happy actually), and my nipples IF she would take them.

I don't know if it's a fluke or if she's really teething but poor baby had a really rough day yesterday. This morning she was okay but the afternoon was awful. I finally sent DH to get some infant tylonel. I know the bottle says not to use <24 lbs but our doctor gave us a sheet of how much tylonel we can give to her at various weights so I gave her a little and she finally managed to settle down and eat and then get some sleep.

Lastly &#8211; I received verbal confirmation that I will be allowed to extend my maternity leave for another month. We got some news that, in addition to my mother&#8217;s illness, my MIL was diagnosed with lung cancer last week. She was one of our back up sitters. HR emailed me the form this morning so I&#8217;ll fill it out and send it off and once my principal signs it then I&#8217;ll send to HR and then the superintendent has to sign and the board has to approve it. So much bureaucracy. But my union rep assures me that once the principal and superintendent have agreed the board part is formality. It&#8217;ll be a rough month, no pay and I&#8217;ll have to pay $1200 for my insurance that month instead of the normal $300, but without a sitter that&#8217;s the easiest option. My sister will take over full time baby-sitting May 1 and I&#8217;ll return then.


Phew. Sorry, long update.

Butterflyfrog - Welcome! This is a great group of women! I spent 14 months TTC, and then finally got our BFP. My rainbow baby was born January 6th. I stick around because these ladies and I have been through so much.

What are you using to determine your fertile window?

As for the "6 day early" it doesn't always work the way people think. It really depends on when implantation occurs. So, after you ovulate your egg has 24 hours before it is deteriorated (that's why identifying ovulation date is important). From that date, if inseminated, the egg will implant anywhere from 6-12 days later. The minute it implants, it starts to produce hormones. That hormone typically doubles every 2-3 days. The 6 days early are the most sensitive and detect the lower amounts of hpt but you can't really guarantee it'll be 6 days before your period.

Also, if you were pregnant, I don't think the rides should really affect you that early.


mzpiggy - welcome! This is a great group of women! I was with this group, TTC for 14 months. I had my rainbow baby in January, and I stick around simply because we've all been through so much!


Kat - sorry that his shots left him with a fever! Interesting that you have them at 3 and 5 months. Our doctor had us schedule vaccines for 2, 4, and 6 months.


Greensboroug - Welcome! I'm 31 now, and just had my rainbow baby in January. I started TTC at 29, and it took us 14 months to conceive but it took me awhile to regulate my cycles after i stopped bcp (I had been on it for 15 years). THis is a great group of women! We're here if you need to chat or have questions, etc.


Eelse - Good luck!!

Drjo & Eelse - Wow! I'm a July birthday too! I'll be 32 July 25th.

 

[KatO79]

Angel glad the sleep training is going well. As for teething I've read and been told that it normally first happens around 6 months but can happen as early as 4 months. I thought Alexander was teething a few weeks ago because he was acting in much the same way and drooling a lot but my health care provider confirmed that he wasn't teething. I'd think teething that early must be insanely rare. Are you sure she isn't in the midst of a wonder week? They get very fussy during them and eat less which would also fit the signs you're describing. We've also found out that gnawing is a tired sign for Alexander. Are her gums swollen and red around where her lower central incisors would be? I'd try asking your GP if she's actually teething this early.

So sorry about your MIL

 

[Jezika]

It's funny, everyone in my December babies Facebook group thinks their babies are teething. All of our babies started drooling a tonne and gnawing on fists and anything else since around 8/9 weeks. Some say it's normal, and some say their other kids cut their first teeth by three months. One can already see the teeth poking through now. I don't see anything on Tilly, so I'm guessing this is normal stuff but very occasionally is actual teething. I also wonder whether Melody is going through a leap. Judging by Tilly being three weeks ahead, it would kind of fit I think, coz she had a leap about a month ago.