Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[KatO79]

Ugh was at my toxic mother's yesterday and she proceeded to insult my taste in necklaces and coats She told me the necklace I wore to the christening was very ugly and I should've worn the pricey Last Supper necklace she gave me a few years ago (used to be hers until she gave it to me a few years ago; not entirely my style but didn't want to get into a heated discussion by saying so). Then she told me my red coat is clearly for teenagers (don't know where she gets her ideas from sometimes) and that she wants to buy me a more "adult" coat in grey or black. Oh and that my sequin beret (have them in a few different colors but was wearing one in gold that day) was also for teenagers and people in their 20s so I shouldn't be wearing hats like that either. Ugh, criticism upon criticism So glad I don't see her very often!

Wow things are quiet, how's everyone doing?

 

[EElse]

Hi Kat!

It is indeed very quiet but since I've got nothing new to share, I've just been checking every now and then to see updates on everyone else. Sorry to hear that the visit with your mother didn't go so well and that DH is not helping as much as you need him to.

I'm due for AF at the end of the month (around the 28/29th). I missed a few BBT checks this month so decided to discard the results for the ones that I did take. I probably O'ed the 13th so that will put me at 9DPO today. We'll see what happens...

Hope everything is going well with everyone else!

Baby dust to all those TTC!

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Hey ladies.. sorry for the MIA stint. Things are good and kicking is a daily occurance now which helps my anxiety a lot. I am starting to get some swelling in my ankles and lower calves which is to be expected.

I'm also dealing with a lot of stress with the house situation currently... After my father in law passed away last year and we tried taking over the house.. its been a mess since then. I'm just praying to God that we can Move in before June to get things ready for baby girl..

Other then that, things are going well.

How's everyone else?

 

[Angel5000]

Srry I've been MIA, this tooth thing is killing us. Melody went from sleeping 3-3.5 hour stretches at night to suddenly sleeping no more than 1 hour at a time for the last 3 days straight. Her naps, however, have increased to 1 hour straight without any wake-ups in the middle (which is a big improvement for her) but night times are killing me. I'm pretty sure it's a combination of teething + growth spurt. There's a 3 month growth spurt that I think she might be hitting early, and I only think it's that because she's actually eating quite a bit every time she wakes in those 1 hour stretches.

On top of all of that, she's now 24.5 inches long and so she just barely fits in her bassinet. She wiggles a lot in her sleep and can push herself with her feet really well so she will move around and end up hitting the edges of the bassinet and wake herself. If I swaddle both arms in she wakes up freaking out and struggling until she gets at least one arm free. If I leave an arm or two free, she is happier but still startles herself awake or slaps herself in the face (or hits the sides of the bassinet because she's big enough now to do that). I started putting her down for naps in her crib and that worked really well, and that's when we started getting 1-hour stretches for nap time. I tried that last night for bed, but still she woke every hour. Probably didn't help that her crib is in her own room. I wasn't comfortable being in my room on the other side of the house so we slept in the spare bedroom last night which is across the hall from her room so I could hear her if she cried. I like that bed better but DH doesn't sleep well on it so it was a rough night for both of us.

I can still see where the tooth is but it hasn't quite erupted out so she's still having fussy periods and chewing and stuff occasionally.

I'll try to properly respond to people later. I had a dentist appt today so my sister watched Melody for a couple hours and now we're back home I'm going to try to get her to sleep soon and take a nap myself.

 

[star_e]

hi all - its been a long time and i want to give a quick update. i was really busy for a while with that baby list that has been finished now for two weeks. i then moved on to trying to decorate the nursery. that kept me busy, but lately i have been dealing with extreme fatigue. especially so today. the fatigue is also making me feel sad and i find myself crying randomly. I’m also getting some sharp pains that last for just a few seconds. the top of my rib cage hurts too. i feel uncomfortable and exhausted.

i tried to catch up as much as I could on what’s been going on here on bnb. I really hope all is well with all of you.


Kat - Thank you for the recommendations about the sleep site. I appreciate it. And so glad the Christening went well! And beautiful photos! Alexander looks so cute in his gown!

Gagril - congrats on the news that your LO is a girl!

Butterflyfrog and mzpiggy - Welcome!

Drojo- hope everything is okay now regarding the cyst.

jezika - hope all is well with you and tilly

angel - glad the sleeping routine is helping. very sorry to hear about your mother’s illness and MIL. i really hope they both get better.

 

[KatO79]

EElse FXed for you And thanks but yeah, I'm almost used to her constant criticisms although it just makes me look more forward to when DH and I head home.

Angel hope the tooth soon erupts so Melody gets less fussy. As for the reflex thing I feel you, we had those same issues with Alexander about that age although we never bothered trying swaddling because he would've had a fit not having his arms free. He already freaked out a bit when we'd try to wrap his arms a bit in his duvet. I can imagine that putting her in a crib helped as it's bigger and she won't be hitting her arms on the side waking herself up that way.

star sorry about the fatigue, I think I was also feeling pretty tired around that point in my pregnancy as well. Things do get pretty uncomfortable at that stage and on. I'm sure you'll manage to get the most important stuff ready for baby before he gets here, I know we managed to! As for the pics, thanks Yeah I really love those pics, planning on getting one of them professionally printed out and framed. I'm also planning on making a personal book with stuff from his 1st year (up to and including his 1st birthday!) so many of those pics will be going into that as well.

 

[cutestuff]

Hi all. It's been pure craziness here. I'm pretty sure our weather is bipolar so last week we were spending all our time outside at parks and stuff. We are still waiting to conceive so we have more time with dd before another comes along. Ideally she will be in a toddler bed potty trained and off the boob before ttc 2 but we will see how that goes.
Star I feel you about exhaustion I wish I could say it got better but I don't think I've properly slept in 2 years...
Angel that sucks. Dd was the same way. She would sleep really well waking every 2-3 hours until 3-4 months when she grew and started teething. Now she goes between waking every 1-2 hours and 3-5 times per night. I think she's working on molars now and gonna be 16 months so she's doing a lot and I've heard sleep can be tricky.
Good luck with that Kat. It's hard to be judged for your choices but it's especially hard when it comes from someone who's supposed to be supportive.
Good luck everyone and I hope to hear good things

 

[KatO79]

cutestuff hope you soon get your dd ready so you can have baby #2 And thanks, unfortunately that's just how my mother is and always will be It's another reason I avoid her as much as possible.

AFM sorry to be a pain but DH upset me. Yesterday he had a job interview over Skype when he got home from work. It's aaparently someone that contacted him after seeing his profile on LinkedIn (DH is horrible about updating so he didn't write about having a new job). DH is considering taking it if he gets it since it pays more although it'll make my job finding almost impossible because DH was suppsoed to recommend me at the company he's at now once Alexander starts nursery school in November He was pretty sure he could get me in for a trial run but of course won't be able to do that if he leaves them. Also it'd mean he'd have to drop his 2 month paternity leave in June as it's non-transferable to the new company of course but it didn't seem to phase him. I just find it sad as during the weekdays he barely sees his son and now he wants to drop paternity leave for more money? I thought we were in agreement that family time is more important than making money but guess I was wrong Oh and this morning I woke up with an aching shoulder so not going to be fun lifting Alexander today but DH has shown 0 concern and is just sleeping through it all. He angrily brought Alexander in to me for his morning feed and then went back to sleep

Update: So I then had an emotional breakdown partially due to lack of sleep but also because Alexander was being fussy and wanted to feed again after literally just having had a feed 10 minutes ago. DH came super annoyed for having disturbed his sleep (since I was crying) and asked me what was wrong in this annoyed tone. He then sat with Alexander while I stormed off. He got Alexander to play with his activity center and instead of asking me about how I was feeling and comforting me, he just said he was taking a shower. I don't think he gets it's one thing to have Alexander for a couple of hours a day like he does while it's an entirely different matter taking care of him for 12-13 hours straight alone.

 

[Jezika]

I only have a sec, but yes Kat I so agree! My DH also doesn't truly get how difficult it is to take care of a baby 8+ hours a day, five days a week, completely on your own. Mentally and physically it is exhausting. That's why I remind DH of that every time Tilly gets fussy and he's not sure what to do and/or he can't do simple things for himself and yet it's only been an hour. Ive also been known to refuse to help him at those times so he can get a feel for what it's like for me every single day (not in a mean way, but kind of tongue-in-cheek, and it makes the point).

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

So one of my best friends (3 of us are expecting at the same time) who was due April 1 delivered a healthy 6lb 3oz little girl last night. They pulled into the hospital at 7:40 pm and she delivered a baby girl all natural at 8:29pm. I got the text and started crying for many reasons.. she was due two weeks before our first baby was due.. and now that she had delivered.. that means I'm next!!! I can't wait to meet our baby girl and finally get to hold her in my arms...

 

[EElse]

Gagrlinpitt: I'm so happy to hear that your friend had a quick, normal delivery and now has a healthy new baby. Good luck to them and good luck to you as well. May the rest of your pregnancy bring you nothing but joy (or happy tears!)

I'm waiting for AF (CD28 of 30-day cycle). Have a few cramps on my right side with lots of ewcm (which is weird for me, I usually have creamy or nothing after O). I'll be testing on Thursday if the hasn't shown up by then.

Good luck for those TTC, all the best for the new mommies (may you get some rest) and to everyone else!!

 

[KatO79]

Gagrlinpitt congrats to your friend

EElse FXed for you

AFM had a nice weekend! Was at my ILs' yesterday and before that we picked up a nice, used car seat from one of DH's coworkers for when Alexander is 9 kg up to he's 18 kg. We were supposed to drive over to Sweden to buy a stroller (since they're cheaper over there) plus a few other smaller items while we're there anyway but hadn't realised that Sweden has changed it's rules and you need a passport to cross the border which my FIL informed us when we got to my ILs' house before our planned drive to Sweden So we'll have to find another weekend to do that Alexander is still napping poorly during the day which stinks He also has started to partially wake up every hour after I feed him 3-4 AM. He'll softly cry for a few minutes and then sleep again. It's weird, can't decide if me feeding him at between 3 and 4 AM (after he's slept fine for 4-5 hours) is disturbing the rest of his sleep or what Have now texted my health care provider but she'll probably want to talk to me over the phone.

 

[KatO79]

Thought I'd update:

So today I went to the bathroom while Alexander was lying on his playmat. Heard a ruckus so hurried as quickly as I could and he was on his tummy by the time I got back He saw me and the rolled onto his back again. So naughty baby didn't let me see his new skill - rolling from his back to his tummy

 

[Angel5000]

Gagrl - that's great your friend had a safe healthy delivery. Can't wait to hear that you have your LO!

Kat - that's so great that he's rolling! But so frustrating he did r when you weren't there! When M is on her back she pushes with her legs and will get herself about half way to her side and then give up but she's now scooting around in circles because of it. I was making dinner and I could see her in the living room from where I was. I looked up after a few seconds of Chopping and she was turned 90 degrees from where she'd been when I started. And the next time I looked up she'd done another 90 degree turn. Lol.


Afm I took Melody to the dr today. She stopped eating lately. She went from 20-30 minute nursing sessions every 3 hours to 3-5 minutes every hour and she breaks off screaming and arching her back. Doctor checked her out and she's still gaining weight at a healthy amount and her ears and everything seem fine. She is congested though. So for now she said to give saline spray before every feeding and try to keep her upright afterward because it sounds like she's also got some possible reflux.

The last two days she's basically refused my breast completely, or only will eat a minute or two. Last night I gave her a bottle in desperation and she sucked down 3 oz in a few minutes. So I know she's hungry. I broke down crying because I felt so rejected and so awful that my baby won't eat from me.

The dr thinks it's probably because I'm keeping her more upright when feeding her the bottle and she has to be mostly laying to nurse due to her size unless we side lay. Still, made me feel awful. Today was the same, she guzzled down 3 oz of formula in the time DH was thawing a bag of breast milk (she was screaming with hunger and we had been given a few bottles of ready made formula so I used one to help satiate her) and then she drank another 2 oz of the breast milk ! poor baby is starving. But that was after the saline and bulb syringe so she could breathe better.

I'm just hoping she starts to eat again. I'm pumping 2-3 times a day (plus every time I give a bottle) to make up for every time she won't eat. She did nurse for about 10 minutes this afternoon so that was an improvement.

She stopped sleeping too but that's mostly due to a combo of huger and she can't breathe. This evening she's napped for an hour so far, huge improvement so the saline is working I think.

Thank god DH is home though. She's been needy and screaming all day. He took her and told me
To drink some wine in a hot bath. best 45 minutes of my life. Lol

 

[KatO79]

Angel that's what Alexander has been doing for a while now although he'll roll onto his side and then roll back onto his back again Finally he rolls onto his belly and I missed it. Don't think he's done it since, naughty boy Anyway so sorry about Melody, I'm sure once she's feeling better she'll be nursing again. Don't have much advice as Alexander hasn't been congested yet though, hoping btw it's his father's strong genes since DH is almost never sick and when he is, it last 12-24 hours

AFM not much else going on. Alexander is eating his morning porridge, late afternoon mashed vegetables (potatoes plus a veg e.g. broccoli, carrot or cauliflower) and his nighttime gruel really well still. Although the mashed veggies need to still be pretty creamy before he'll eat it, any larger clumps and he'll start gagging Oh and he's sleeping well at night, after the gruel he'll go for about 5-5½ hours before waking me for milk so thinking once he starts solids, he'll be able to go for a bit longer. My HV is coming on the 20th and think she wants to discuss e.g. starting him on meats/fish and whatever else we eat.

 

[cutestuff]

Hi angel. I went through congestion with my dd as well. One thing that seemed to help was taking a warm shower with me. I turn on a space heater and then have the shower as warm as possible and just sit and let the steam and heat help. I never did bottles at night so I don't know how well she might have taken it but she too would eat for a minute or two and then take a break before trying again. It's always so hard when they don't feel good.
Afm trying to keep up with a toddler is exhausting me. She is pulling in her molars and seems to go one to two nights waking 3-5 times to one or two bad nights waking as often as every half hour or so. We are planning to use the summer to try getting her off all day time boobie and possibly getting her a toddler bed to start napping in. My goal is to gradually have her sleep in her own bed and weaned so when we ttc 2 I am done nursing my toddler. I've read they do better when they understand so I just have to be patient.
Eelse good job loosing weight. I have a long way to go before I am a normal bmi so I'm jealous.
Garl time will fly for you now and one day you will question if you were even ever pregnant. I do... It feels like a baby just magically appeared in my life.
Kat next will come scooting and crawling. Some babies walk early like 9-10 months mine did. It's so fun to watch them learn.and grow

 

[EElse]

Thanks cutestuff! It helped that my 2 sisters and brother-in-law were all doing the same thing but it was a bit harder for me as I don't live in the same city and my husband did not stick to the regime, he's still very overweight.

We are all four of us now in the normal BMI category (they even had more to lose than I did). Still keeping up with maintaining the weightloss but sometimes you just can't help but cheat...

I'm having all kinds of symptoms at the moment but don't want to look too deeply into it as I'm not sure about O day. I'll test again on the 12th of April if the hasn't shown which would be CD45 for me which is really weird as the past year my cycle has been 30-32 days. Did a test on CD32 but was

My last fertile CM was CD29 so if I take O day around there it would now put me at 9dpo but really not sure...

Good luck everyone TTC and best wishes to all the mothers, may you find some rest

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Keeping fingers crossed for you Else.

AFM, had my echo cardiogram yesterday. Results are back already and everything is looking good.

I have a follow up with my doctor tomorrow and then Saturday I do my Glucose tolerance test.. Cant believe I'm already at the end of my second trimester!!!

 

[KatO79]

cutestuff yeah I'm looking forward to crawling atm

EElse as always, my FXed for you

Gagrlinpitt glad the cardiogram went well and FXed that you pass the glucose test!

AFM my DH's grandmother apparently suffered a stroke as she was handing in her car to it's yearly check. She was unconscious for hours and then passed away at around 1 AM Danish time DH's parents called some hours after knowing and didn't think he could reach her in time since the drive to that particular hospital is about 1 hour from where we live so he didn't go and it turns out he may have reached to see her anyway He apparently has decided to go to work today anyway although only for a few hours, don't get that decision He'll be going out to the hospital later today to say his goodbyes and I don't know if I should go as Alexander is 6 months and firstly he'll probably make a fuss and secondly I'm not even sure they'd allow him in the morgue at that young age.

Oh and the hospital apparently didn't contact my MIL and FIL until after she'd slipped into unconsciousness which was crappy of them as it's very quick and easy here to find next of kin when they have her CPR number (it's like a social security number in the USA). And her purse has mysteriously vanished as the auto mechanic doesn't have it and the hospital is claiming they don't have it either but it makes me wonder if it's just them trying to cover up for not having called my ILs sooner

I'm glad though that we reached to have Alexander so she met him as that's what I was so hoping for when DH and I went throygh infertility. I'm just sad she didn't get to see him more or was able to be around a bit longer

 

[KatO79]

So finally got to see Alexander roll over from back to tummy a couple of days ago Although I was so excited so raised my voice too much telling DH and scared him so he started crying I hope I haven't scared him off doing it again. Having issues with getting him to do tummy time as he's very good at rolling onto his back so most of the time he'll do it pretty quickly He's a bit behind the other boys in our Mommy Group so trying to give him some extra time to see if it helps but he seems to often hate it.

Oh and I've heard back from my childish friend I've been a bit pissed about her showing almost 0 interest in Alexander but apparently she's putting it all on us because she called my DH and complained that she's pissed that we haven't asked her about how her TTCing is going. Although to be fair she showed very little interest when we started assisted conception so it's not like she's been the pillar of perfect behavior either She told DH that she hasn't been Oing since her mc and they're having issues and can't get help which is BS. She apparently doesn't understand and thinks it means she has no eggs at all DH didn't give her much good advice from what he told me since he doesn't know much about things like that despite having gone through IUI and IVF He says I can contact her and try and advise her but I don't know if I want to I just feel like she's constantly finding excuses to not be there for me and now that she needs me to be constantly asking her how things are going even though she didn't do the same for me during IVF, my pregnancy or after Alexander was born.