Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Hollynesss]

I'm sorry, praying I was just having this conversation with my sister the other day, about how sometimes having "normal" results is worse than having bad results, because at least then you know what's wrong. It really is disheartening that we are at the mercy of doctors who sometimes seem too busy to focus on the people behind their patients. I hope that the progesterone helps with the spotting

 

[Praying4BB]

Yay MJ and Bighouse! I am glad we are all starting progesterone together! I think y'all will be starting it before I will, let me know how it goes, if there are any side effects, etc.

We've got to have a BFP in this group sometime soon... I can feel it!

 

[Praying4BB]

Hi praying. I know how you feel. sometimes I get angry when I see pregnant women or when I read stories about people killing their babies or abusing them in some horrific way and I think about people on this site who would probably give anything to be a mom and they aren't. I think you have the right attitude. At least you know everything is okay with you. If still no luck in a couple months, maybe have your husband tested... My husband and I just decided if we do not have any luck in the next couple of years we will get to a doctor, but I have decided not to rush it and not to stress about it mostly because there is nothing I can do to control or change it and if by the time I am 31/32 years old nothing has happened, it will be long enough to really convince the docs and start on whatever treatment is recommended. I think you should count your blessings and keep trusting God. He knows your wants, needs, and fears and I have always found that when I trust or when I hit rock bottom, there is always something that happens to show me that I am not alone.

Cutestuff- thanks for the encouragement! I honestly wish I had not tried so hard to force my way to the fertility clinic and we could have just tried to enjoy TTC naturally for a few more months. Part of my frustration is that DH has been out of reach for our fertile period for the last three cycles. I was bummed in the beginning when I realized that's how his work schedule would line up, but then I realized what a wonderful opportunity these months would be to find out what's wrong with my cycles (naturally, they are 35-40 days, I O between CD 23-26, and I spot for most of my LP). So I pushed for a referral and got it, hoping that by December, I would have my side of things figured out so we could have a legitimate shot at TTC. I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes... I truly believe that God knows my heart and will give us a child, but at the same time, I can't set aside my own selfishness with the timing of it all. I have not been patient. At all. I got scared after I got off BCP and saw how abnormal my cycles were- it led me down this path where I feel like I'm now forcing things that weren't meant to happen naturally, at least for right now. I really wish I would have taken your approach to TTC so I wouldn't feel so conflicted right now.

Kat- the procedure wasn't too awful. I took two ibuprofen about an hour before. I would say it was maybe a bit more uncomfortable than a pap smear, but not too different. I really didn't feel much after they took the speculum out, didn't feel the catheter or any of the pressure and cramping they said I would feel when the solution went in. I am having a little bit of cramping now (3-4 hours later) but def not AF cramping and def not O cramping (which is bad for me sometimes). Just little twinges every once in a while and a bit of soreness. I am still spotting from AF so not sure if the spotting I am having now is related to the procedure at all.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

My Prometrium (brand of progesterone) was $65 for 30 pills!! At least it will last me about three months since only taking during my luteal phase. I'm getting a follicle check next month to see if have diminished ovarian reserve. I hope not, though my high FSH points that way. I could deal a little better if I had more years ahead to try but at 34 and only one weak BFP in 9 months....

Still only an almost there OPK. So weird. I usually go from light to dark in 24 hours. I hope I ovulate soon.

My acupuncturist wants to see O on day 14 because according to Chinese medicine delayed ovulation indicates a problem with the reproductive system. Day 15 or 16 is okay but anything after that means that the eggs are not maturing properly. I don't know. Maybe it's all BS. I don't know what to think anymore!

 

[KatO79]

Kat- the procedure wasn't too awful. I took two ibuprofen about an hour before. I would say it was maybe a bit more uncomfortable than a pap smear, but not too different. I really didn't feel much after they took the speculum out, didn't feel the catheter or any of the pressure and cramping they said I would feel when the solution went in. I am having a little bit of cramping now (3-4 hours later) but def not AF cramping and def not O cramping (which is bad for me sometimes). Just little twinges every once in a while and a bit of soreness. I am still spotting from AF so not sure if the spotting I am having now is related to the procedure at all.

Ok good to know it wasn't painful, lets hope it isn't too bad for me either. I'm still hoping I'll at least be able to BD on CD12 or I'll be really peeved

I'll remember to take a couple of paracetamol tablets as I don't take ibuprofen because I read that A) it can cause miscarriages if you're pregnant and B) read that it's also bad to take while TTC since it, among other things, can delay O and make your lining less favorable for implantation So to be on the safe side, I avoid it at all costs.

 

[Praying4BB]

I'll remember to take a couple of paracetamol tablets as I don't take ibuprofen because I read that A) it can cause miscarriages if you're pregnant and B) read that it's also bad to take while TTC since it, among other things, can delay O and make your lining less favorable for implantation...

...doesn't everything though if you do enough googling? First time taking any type pain reliever in about three years, I think I will be okay.

 

[Praying4BB]

My Prometrium (brand of progesterone) was $65 for 30 pills!! At least it will last me about three months since only taking during my luteal phase. I'm getting a follicle check next month to see if have diminished ovarian reserve. I hope not, though my high FSH points that way. I could deal a little better if I had more years ahead to try but at 34 and only one weak BFP in 9 months....

Still only an almost there OPK. So weird. I usually go from light to dark in 24 hours. I hope I ovulate soon.

My acupuncturist wants to see O on day 14 because according to Chinese medicine delayed ovulation indicates a problem with the reproductive system. Day 15 or 16 is okay but anything after that means that the eggs are not maturing properly. I don't know. Maybe it's all BS. I don't know what to think anymore!

MJ- Whoa!! I should really start to keep up with how much all this is costing. Hope your OPK goes positive soon! That's interesting about the Chinese medicine theory... but seriously, so much conflicting info out there about TTC. Especially about the prolonged use of BCP. After all this, I will tell anyone who listens to get off them ASAP!

 

[KatO79]

I'll remember to take a couple of paracetamol tablets as I don't take ibuprofen because I read that A) it can cause miscarriages if you're pregnant and B) read that it's also bad to take while TTC since it, among other things, can delay O and make your lining less favorable for implantation...

...doesn't everything though if you do enough googling? First time taking any type pain reliever in about three years, I think I will be okay.

Probably, but there's enough if you Google that I'm going to never use ibuprofen It decreases fertility and reduces the body's production of prostaglandins which is needed for ovulation and implantation. I also read a book by a fertility doctor and she said ibuprofen was bad for fertility as well.

So I'd definitely avoid it other than maybe during AF to be on the safe side.

 

[crystlmcd]

My doctor also told me not to use ibuprofen while TTC. I don't use it often anyway but it was one thing she made sure to point out when I told her we were going to start TTC.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Interesting about ibuprofen....I didn't know that and I took it a few times last week during vacation (usually don't take it, but I was drinking wine so I had a headache a couple times). I wonder if alcohol and ibuprofen is causing me to ovulate late this month? My OPKs are back to very light, so not even close to positive, and my temp was flat again this morning (cd18). So much for all that vacation sex....poor DH is going to be sick of me...I'm already sick of it but have to keep going in case I ovulate soon. This is the third cycle this year where I have ovulated late; I wonder why I'm not consistent?

 

[KatO79]

Interesting about ibuprofen....I didn't know that and I took it a few times last week during vacation (usually don't take it, but I was drinking wine so I had a headache a couple times). I wonder if alcohol and ibuprofen is causing me to ovulate late this month? My OPKs are back to very light, so not even close to positive, and my temp was flat again this morning (cd18). So much for all that vacation sex....poor DH is going to be sick of me...I'm already sick of it but have to keep going in case I ovulate soon. This is the third cycle this year where I have ovulated late; I wonder why I'm not consistent?

I know that alcohol is also bad for fertility. I try to only drink a couple of units when I have AF and otherwise refrain the rest of my cycle. But yeah, too much alcohol seems to decrease fertility as well: https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-...d-pregnancy/is-alcohol-harming-your-fertility

Maybe it's the ibuprofen? I don't know how much you need to take before it effects you but I'd just avoid it altogether and go with paracetamol/acetaminophen if you need any painkillers and keep it to aa absolute minimum. I barely take anything unless the pain is pretty bad. I took a couple of them on CD1 this cycle as I was having trouble sleeping good because of the cramping but have otherwise not taken any since.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Thanks, Kat....yeah I don't really take anything either, usually. And I completely gave up all alcohol back in late August...last week was my first time having any alcohol since I gave it up, then I got a headache from it and I didn't want to be in pain on vacation. I wasn't about to abstain from alcohol in Napa since that's kind of the whole point! Lol!

Grrrr....my well-meaning mom told me to just "relax and drink a lot and have fun in Napa" in the hopes that I would get pregnant. Apparently for me all that does is mess up my cycle! My mom was like "you are stressing yourself out...you got pregnant on the first month of trying, so nothing is wrong with you -you just need to stop tracking everything and just enjoy having sex". I told her, tracking my cycles doesn't stress me out - what stresses me out is not ovulating on time or not getting pregnant every month!!

Maybe she's right, though....maybe I should stop OPKs and charting?? I will say though that the month I got pregnant I was still a little stressed because I had been charting my cycles for a few months and noticed that I had a short LP, so we actually started trying two months earlier than we had planned, since I thought we might take longer to get pregnant. So I was stressed that first month and I still got my BFP.

 

[KatO79]

Thanks, Kat....yeah I don't really take anything either, usually. And I completely gave up all alcohol back in late August...last week was my first time having any alcohol since I gave it up, then I got a headache from it and I didn't want to be in pain on vacation. I wasn't about to abstain from alcohol in Napa since that's kind of the whole point! Lol!

Grrrr....my well-meaning mom told me to just "relax and drink a lot and have fun in Napa" in the hopes that I would get pregnant. Apparently for me all that does is mess up my cycle! My mom was like "you are stressing yourself out...you got pregnant on the first month of trying, so nothing is wrong with you -you just need to stop tracking everything and just enjoy having sex". I told her, tracking my cycles doesn't stress me out - what stresses me out is not ovulating on time or not getting pregnant every month!!

Maybe she's right, though....maybe I should stop OPKs and charting?? I will say though that the month I got pregnant I was still a little stressed because I had been charting my cycles for a few months and noticed that I had a short LP, so we actually started trying two months earlier than we had planned, since I thought we might take longer to get pregnant. So I was stressed that first month and I still got my BFP.

Oh boy, sounds like your mom has never had issues conceiving, she sounds a lot like my super fertile mother (who had 6 kids) They just don't get it I'd love to know what her explanation for my chemical was since I was super stressed that cycle My mom's lack of interest in my fertility issues and starting at a fertility clinic has led me to not talking to her about it anymore to avoid her disinterest and her whole "just relax and it'll happen" mantra when she does show a minimum of interest From now on, I'll only be updating if she asks and keep it to a minimum. If you feel like your mother is making you feel more stressed or worse about the situation, maybe not talk to her so much about it? I stopped updating my SIL in the US as well because she kept saying that same mantra despite the fact it took my brother and her 5 years, most with assisted conception, before she got her sticky BFP at age 46. But according to her I'm very fertile because I'm under 40. The only one not annoying me is my half-sister in the US and of course DH.

I stopped OPKs, charting, CBFM and all that months ago, yet here I am still not pregnant. But I guess it couldn't hurt to give it a try for a couple of months and just aim for BDing every 2-3 days or so

 

[cutestuff]

I had no idea about the ibuprofen. I normally take acetaminophen anyway just because there is less of a chance of allergic reaction and its better for your liver than advil/asprin and is easier on your blood than ibuprofen. I happen to have a super fertile mom as well. She claims to have gotten pregnant with me on birth control- not sure about my sister, and then with my brother she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant again. She had severe endometriosis and fibroids so they were shocked. I only told people I was trying because I can't keep a secret and it would be better for me to announce a planned pregnancy than have people think it was not planned. I seem to get a lot of unsolicited comments from older women about my ttc in terms of stress, over-analyzing, and what my life looks like compared to what they think should happen. My philosophy has always been that I would rather be healthy and happy with a family than spend years trying to find a career, buy a house and have my finances all in a row only to be in my 40's or 50's and never have had kids. It's no one elses business what is going on with you and if they have comments then remind them you are not them and while it would be great if you could get pregnant at the drop of the hat like our parents and grandparents did, and some people still do, but the fact is we are more surrounded by things that decrease fertility than they were and you know what- for me- hearing about how easy it was for some people does nothing for me.... it just makes me angry....

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Yes, my mom had no issues getting pregnant...but she started young. Had me at 20 then my brother at 25 and then my little sister was a surprise when she was 32!

Actually, my mom doesn't stress me out...she is wonderfully supportive and is always there for me to vent to her. I can be pretty awful when I'm in a bad mood and she just patiently listens to me and tries her best to be optimistic when I am anything but. I know how desperately she wants to be a grandmother but she NEVER mentions it and always just tells me that she wants me to be happy more than anything else in the world. I just get frustrated because I wish I could be more relaxed and just let it happen without trying to "force" it so to speak. I just feel like I don't have time to be relaxed!

Now, my SIL - she's another story. I have 100% decided that I'm done talking to her about TTC. She has NO CLUE and just says dumb stuff like "well, I sort of envy your carefree lifestyle just being able to come and go as you please...raising kids is really hard work!". Yeah, thanks, I know that - that's probably the reason I got such a late start to TTC! I didn't even want kids until I was about 31 and financially ready with the right man in my life...then it took two more years to gather up the courage to start trying!

I'm sorry I've been negative lately... I don't want to be the Debbie Downer here...I'm just frustrated that I haven't ovulated this cycle, especially after spending over $4,000 on acupuncture and herbs since August!!

 

[cutestuff]

Hi praying. I know how you feel. sometimes I get angry when I see pregnant women or when I read stories about people killing their babies or abusing them in some horrific way and I think about people on this site who would probably give anything to be a mom and they aren't. I think you have the right attitude. At least you know everything is okay with you. If still no luck in a couple months, maybe have your husband tested... My husband and I just decided if we do not have any luck in the next couple of years we will get to a doctor, but I have decided not to rush it and not to stress about it mostly because there is nothing I can do to control or change it and if by the time I am 31/32 years old nothing has happened, it will be long enough to really convince the docs and start on whatever treatment is recommended. I think you should count your blessings and keep trusting God. He knows your wants, needs, and fears and I have always found that when I trust or when I hit rock bottom, there is always something that happens to show me that I am not alone.

Cutestuff- thanks for the encouragement! I honestly wish I had not tried so hard to force my way to the fertility clinic and we could have just tried to enjoy TTC naturally for a few more months. Part of my frustration is that DH has been out of reach for our fertile period for the last three cycles. I was bummed in the beginning when I realized that's how his work schedule would line up, but then I realized what a wonderful opportunity these months would be to find out what's wrong with my cycles (naturally, they are 35-40 days, I O between CD 23-26, and I spot for most of my LP). So I pushed for a referral and got it, hoping that by December, I would have my side of things figured out so we could have a legitimate shot at TTC. I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes... I truly believe that God knows my heart and will give us a child, but at the same time, I can't set aside my own selfishness with the timing of it all. I have not been patient. At all. I got scared after I got off BCP and saw how abnormal my cycles were- it led me down this path where I feel like I'm now forcing things that weren't meant to happen naturally, at least for right now. I really wish I would have taken your approach to TTC so I wouldn't feel so conflicted right now.

Kat- the procedure wasn't too awful. I took two ibuprofen about an hour before. I would say it was maybe a bit more uncomfortable than a pap smear, but not too different. I really didn't feel much after they took the speculum out, didn't feel the catheter or any of the pressure and cramping they said I would feel when the solution went in. I am having a little bit of cramping now (3-4 hours later) but def not AF cramping and def not O cramping (which is bad for me sometimes). Just little twinges every once in a while and a bit of soreness. I am still spotting from AF so not sure if the spotting I am having now is related to the procedure at all.

Hi Praying. Don't be so hard on yourself. These are different times and even if everything seems to have a normal appearance that does not mean everything is okay. I would love to have the peace of mine that we are fertile and its just not our time yet. I keep hoping I get a sign but all I have gotten are a couple of strange cycles that may be tied to non-sticky eggs or other stress related issues. I would love to say I am being patient, but I am not. I just can't afford the doctor bills so I am hoping.... I think its good you got your questions answered and maybe that will help you relax enough to get a bfp......

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

I had no idea about the ibuprofen. I normally take acetaminophen anyway just because there is less of a chance of allergic reaction and its better for your liver than advil/asprin and is easier on your blood than ibuprofen. I happen to have a super fertile mom as well. She claims to have gotten pregnant with me on birth control- not sure about my sister, and then with my brother she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant again. She had severe endometriosis and fibroids so they were shocked. I only told people I was trying because I can't keep a secret and it would be better for me to announce a planned pregnancy than have people think it was not planned. I seem to get a lot of unsolicited comments from older women about my ttc in terms of stress, over-analyzing, and what my life looks like compared to what they think should happen. My philosophy has always been that I would rather be healthy and happy with a family than spend years trying to find a career, buy a house and have my finances all in a row only to be in my 40's or 50's and never have had kids. It's no one elses business what is going on with you and if they have comments then remind them you are not them and while it would be great if you could get pregnant at the drop of the hat like our parents and grandparents did, and some people still do, but the fact is we are more surrounded by things that decrease fertility than they were and you know what- for me- hearing about how easy it was for some people does nothing for me.... it just makes me angry....

I'm just the opposite of you - LOL! I saw my parents struggle financially so I decided that I didn't want kids at all because I wanted to travel and have a high-paying career that I presumed would take up most of my free time. Then I did that...and realized all that money did NOT make me happy...and working was NOT as glamorous as I had imagined! Then I was like "I think I want kids with my wonderful DH!". Then two years dithering over it because I was scared....finally took the plunge at 33 and here I am now at 34! I wish I would have taken the plunge at 31!!

 

[KatO79]

Yes, my mom had no issues getting pregnant...but she started young. Had me at 20 then my brother at 25 and then my little sister was a surprise when she was 32!

Actually, my mom doesn't stress me out...she is wonderfully supportive and is always there for me to vent to her. I can be pretty awful when I'm in a bad mood and she just patiently listens to me and tries her best to be optimistic when I am anything but. I know how desperately she wants to be a grandmother but she NEVER mentions it and always just tells me that she wants me to be happy more than anything else in the world. I just get frustrated because I wish I could be more relaxed and just let it happen without trying to "force" it so to speak. I just feel like I don't have time to be relaxed!

Now, my SIL - she's another story. I have 100% decided that I'm done talking to her about TTC. She has NO CLUE and just says dumb stuff like "well, I sort of envy your carefree lifestyle just being able to come and go as you please...raising kids is really hard work!". Yeah, thanks, I know that - that's probably the reason I got such a late start to TTC! I didn't even want kids until I was about 31 and financially ready with the right man in my life...then it took two more years to gather up the courage to start trying!

I'm sorry I've been negative lately... I don't want to be the Debbie Downer here...I'm just frustrated that I haven't ovulated this cycle, especially after spending over $4,000 on acupuncture and herbs since August!!

Ok I can see how your SIL would be annoying with comments like that

I can relate to starting late. I was waiting until I got a job and making some money but if I kept doing that, I most likely would never have a child It totally derailed me, spending 2½ years trying after my Master's, then taking education #2 which took 2 years and then about 2 years being unemployed and having that 3 month job with horrible bosses and 2 horrible coworkers that got me fired. Looking back, I'd have saved myself at least the whole taking #2 education thing and just started trying at age 30 right after I married DH. Might have conceived a bit quicker too but who knows really

It's ok to vent here, think we're all pretty frustrated and have our days were we just need to vent and get it out of our system

 

[cutestuff]

That is so funny how different everyone is. I got my education handled (finished a master's degree earlier this year) but haven't had much luck finding a career and most the jobs in the fields I am interested in working start out lower than what I make not using my degrees, so I am hoping that I can set up my own business eventually but I can't allow others opinions on my finances dictate my life because for 10 years, nothing has changed and I am not sure I want to hold out for another 5 to see if they will. That said, I think it is important to make decisions you feel comfortable with and do your best to live without regrets. My parents were broke the first years but now they are comfortable if not considered upper class as are my grandparents but I still live paycheck to paycheck if not day to day. I know a lot of people would not feel comfortable bringing a child into a world of unkowns, but my thought is you will never know for sure and while I probably think that way because I did not struggle with my parents, my husband did and we have struggled for years but I just don't want to put it off anymore cause then it may never happen.......

 

[Hollynesss]

MJ- You're not a Debbie Downer! I would be VERY upset if I shelled out that much money with no results!! I wanted to cry every time I realized I was having an off/long cycle. I skipped a period in December, March, June, and September, and it was extremely frustrating each and every time. I've been wondering if I'm having issues with one of my ovaries since it is such a rhythmic pattern of months that I skip.

Praying- Your reasons for wanting to seek treatment are completely understandable. Try not to beat yourself up over it It isn't really rushing things, it is just identifying a problem sooner rather than later. If there does turn out to be a problem, you will thank yourself for taking care of it now instead of wasting so many months trying to no avail.

Cutestuff and Kat- Hindsight is always 2020, but I like to look back and really think where I was emotionally at 25. I was with a complete loser of a boyfriend, still in school....it would have been a horrible time to TTC. Yes, it is harder waiting until later in life, but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. The struggle is worth being able to give my future children more stability than I could have offered them 5-10 years ago. I can totally relate with the school/job market, though! I am currently working toward my Masters, I will be done in May, and I have NO idea what I want to do with my degree. I make pretty good money at my current job, but I put all of this time, money and effort into graduate school, so I'd really like to do something with my degree that pays more than what I do now! Its also hard to remember that it took our parents a long time to reach financial stability.

I never knew that about ibuprofen either, but I had always read that acetaminophen is safe during pregnancy, so I have only been using that since we've been actively TTC.