Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[dede3124]

Reading this does help me know I am not the only crazy lady out there. I too waited until I felt we were financially ready and thought it wouldn't be a problem. I now stress because we have been TTC now for a year and nothing. I am currently trying acupuncture....fingers crossed! We have also started the process for a referral to see a fertility specialist. It is so weird to try not to get pregnant for so long thinking 'gotta be so careful cuz it's sooo easy to get pregnant' and then you decide to try and nothing happens. I also delayed on talking about going to see the doctor thinking 'it will happen'....then decided talk to the doc and learn that we can't get an appointment until FEB! Good to know though that everyone shares the fear that they can't or won't get pregnant.

 

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, dede! I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you've had Better late than never on seeing the specialist, though! This is a very supportive thread, feel free to vent away!

 

[KatO79]

Cutestuff and Kat- Hindsight is always 2020, but I like to look back and really think where I was emotionally at 25. I was with a complete loser of a boyfriend, still in school....it would have been a horrible time to TTC. Yes, it is harder waiting until later in life, but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. The struggle is worth being able to give my future children more stability than I could have offered them 5-10 years ago. I can totally relate with the school/job market, though! I am currently working toward my Masters, I will be done in May, and I have NO idea what I want to do with my degree. I make pretty good money at my current job, but I put all of this time, money and effort into graduate school, so I'd really like to do something with my degree that pays more than what I do now! Its also hard to remember that it took our parents a long time to reach financial stability.

I hope you manage to get a job in your field. I know how much it stinks to not to. I'll never get a job in my field now since I got fired from the last job (unfortunately they can fire you for any reason the first 3 months here, and I mean ANY reason even if it isn't reasonable). No one will hire me as a Lab Tech because I'm over qualified (plus other Lab Techs will target me and see me as a threat because of my Master's) and no one will hire me based on my Master's because I got it 7 (almost 8) years ago and haven't used it in a job. My Master's means I'm also deemed over qualified for everything else as well. I'll also have a tough time explaining to any potential employers why I got fired as my bosses came up with a lot of silly reasons and were very rude and hurtful about it as well

I actually think being in my early + mid-30s and childless has been hurting my chances as companies don't dare hire me in fear I'll announce a pregnancy within the first year or so and then they'll have to pay maternity leave It's so bad I heard of a woman who worked at the same company for 3-3½ years before she got pregnant, the company got a bit miffed when she told them she was pregnant and then 2 months after she started again after maternity leave they fired her She worked in the same field as I studied. So I think the job market here, especially academics, isn't very family friendly unless you're a man since they don't always go on maternity.

Worst case, my DH earns lots of money so he can support both me and a child. So I still can get a volunteer job and just hope the shelter offers to retrain me as an inspector so I can earn a little but question is if they'll do it when I'll be pushing 40 at the time

 

[Hollynesss]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Kat! What field do you work in? I am a lab tech in a hospital, and I love my job, I just want something more. My masters will be in public health, which is very broad. They have laws here, too, about firing for any reason. I try to stay one everyone's good side, lol!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

I wish my DH earned lots of money!! He actually just got laid off a couple weeks ago. We still went on vacation since we already had booked/paid for most of it and the rest we had saved up for. He got a decent severance so that's nice. We can live on my income but it won't be fun - I quit my high-paying job last year in favor of a better commute, less hours, and a daycare on site! I made a giant sacrifice in order set myself up to have kids...if I can't get pregnant I will be so upset that I tossed my career away. But I guess that was the risk I took.

 

[Mandaknyn]

Can I join? Not quite 30 (b-day is Tuesday) and I get the wonderful gift of af on my b-day. I am so irritated because like many of you, I have been trying for 5 cycles (though good timing in only 3). I was so sure this was going to be the cycle as I typically get spotting before my period shows and I had nothing until today, which is the expected start of my period. Took 2 tests just to make sure and both were negative so I am pretty sure that is accurate since most people get positive results by 13-14 dpo (not sure entirely because I could have miscalculated). I thought our timing was perfect this month and I am so tired of hearing about pregnancies the first try when its going on the 6th month of trying (4 th month of active) and I haven't been on any type of birth control in 5.5 years (using natural planning and withdrawal- Who knew that works).......

Hey cutestuff! U sound exactly like me but I've been trying for 6 months now and no luck : ( but I was on the pill for 3 years..
I refer to myself as a lemon lol joking.. I shouldn't say that but I think joking with my husband makes it abit easier lol feel free to private msg me and we can chat. I'm also open to a good quality face book friend at the moment that can relate to me.. None of my friends are currently preggers or trying that I can open up to.
Looking forward to hearing from you 😊.
Amanda

 

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, Mandaknyn!

 

[KatO79]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Kat! What field do you work in? I am a lab tech in a hospital, and I love my job, I just want something more. My masters will be in public health, which is very broad. They have laws here, too, about firing for any reason. I try to stay one everyone's good side, lol!

I have a Master's in Biotechnology (2007) and a Lab Tech degree (2011). I put my job hunting on hold when we decided to TTC after I was fired during my 3 month trial period as I didn't want to potentially start a new job only to anger them by getting pregnant a few months in So I'm a housewife now. Unfortunately the Lab Tech I worked with was being a witch from day 1, think she felt threatened by my Master's even though I acted subordinate to her and was really nice to her. There was also one of the doctors that I barely talked to but he didn't like me either. Guess they hate shy people there. I was always so helpful but nope. They lied about stuff like that the guy doctor who didn't like me and was unfriendly from day 1 was my mentor but they first told me the day they fired me. Then they complained about me the first time not knowing one of the apparatuses need ing calibration for every 10th sample but I found that out after the 1st time and did calibrate after every 10th sample from the 2nd time I used it. I was otherwise only calibrating before all samples and after. But according to them I should have known because I'm a Lab Tech. I tried telling them no one told me until after the first time and that at the place I worked as a trainee (at a huge oil company), they told me about each apparatus and when each needed calibration and how happy they were with my work. I got glowing recommendations from my boss and my mentor. But they angrily responded that if that place liked me so much, then maybe I should seek employment there! They were so rude when they fired me that I was weeping mess afterwards
It was like they came up with one bad excuse after another to fire me.

I should've kept the hourly job I had at another hospital some time after my trainee period was over instead of taking that part-time job at that hospital. I would still have had a job albeit only 2-3 days a week for not much money but it'd have been better than being unemployed and not standing much chance of getting another job. Companies tendens to hire people with experience and/or connections and avoid hiking unemployed people who are stigmatized here.

I'd be thriller to have the job you have now but it's never gonna happen for the reasons I gave in my previous posts

 

[KatO79]

Thanks, Kat....yeah I don't really take anything either, usually. And I completely gave up all alcohol back in late August...last week was my first time having any alcohol since I gave it up, then I got a headache from it and I didn't want to be in pain on vacation. I wasn't about to abstain from alcohol in Napa since that's kind of the whole point! Lol!

Grrrr....my well-meaning mom told me to just "relax and drink a lot and have fun in Napa" in the hopes that I would get pregnant. Apparently for me all that does is mess up my cycle! My mom was like "you are stressing yourself out...you got pregnant on the first month of trying, so nothing is wrong with you -you just need to stop tracking everything and just enjoy having sex". I told her, tracking my cycles doesn't stress me out - what stresses me out is not ovulating on time or not getting pregnant every month!!

Maybe she's right, though....maybe I should stop OPKs and charting?? I will say though that the month I got pregnant I was still a little stressed because I had been charting my cycles for a few months and noticed that I had a short LP, so we actually started trying two months earlier than we had planned, since I thought we might take longer to get pregnant. So I was stressed that first month and I still got my BFP.

By the way MJs I read an article that said if you're having O issues that you should avoid alcohol completely. It said that just 1drink a day decreases fertility by 30% and 2 drinks a day decreases fertility by double that much Apparently alcohol increases your prolactin which in turn inhibits FSH and GnRH which are 2 hormones necessary for normal O.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Thanks, Kat....yeah I don't really take anything either, usually. And I completely gave up all alcohol back in late August...last week was my first time having any alcohol since I gave it up, then I got a headache from it and I didn't want to be in pain on vacation. I wasn't about to abstain from alcohol in Napa since that's kind of the whole point! Lol!

Grrrr....my well-meaning mom told me to just "relax and drink a lot and have fun in Napa" in the hopes that I would get pregnant. Apparently for me all that does is mess up my cycle! My mom was like "you are stressing yourself out...you got pregnant on the first month of trying, so nothing is wrong with you -you just need to stop tracking everything and just enjoy having sex". I told her, tracking my cycles doesn't stress me out - what stresses me out is not ovulating on time or not getting pregnant every month!!

Maybe she's right, though....maybe I should stop OPKs and charting?? I will say though that the month I got pregnant I was still a little stressed because I had been charting my cycles for a few months and noticed that I had a short LP, so we actually started trying two months earlier than we had planned, since I thought we might take longer to get pregnant. So I was stressed that first month and I still got my BFP.

By the way MJs I read an article that said if you're having O issues that you should avoid alcohol completely. It said that just 1drink a day decreases fertility by 30% and 2 drinks a day decreases fertility by double that much Apparently alcohol increases your prolactin which in turn inhibits FSH and GnRH which are 2 hormones necessary for normal O.

Thanks....yeah, I'm back to no alcohol - I only drank in Napa since going wine tasting was the whole point of the trip. Also, I drank about 3 glasses of wine per week regularly before we started trying and I got pregnant the first month.....and apparently I make too much FSH since my test came back high. I'm pretty sure I have diminished ovarian reserve (meaning I am starting menopause early). I know it sounds crazy, but high FSH at 34 is NOT normal. And it would explain why I have a weird long cycle every few months.

CD19 here and still no temp rise after that almost positive OPK that I had on CD17. I really hope I O'd and that my temp just hasn't risen yet. I just want this cycle to end so I can get on with trying again next cycle. I haven't even ovulated yet and I just know that I'm already out....I've googled way too much and read that ovulating late is very bad and it means that the egg was not matured properly.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Reading this does help me know I am not the only crazy lady out there. I too waited until I felt we were financially ready and thought it wouldn't be a problem. I now stress because we have been TTC now for a year and nothing. I am currently trying acupuncture....fingers crossed! We have also started the process for a referral to see a fertility specialist. It is so weird to try not to get pregnant for so long thinking 'gotta be so careful cuz it's sooo easy to get pregnant' and then you decide to try and nothing happens. I also delayed on talking about going to see the doctor thinking 'it will happen'....then decided talk to the doc and learn that we can't get an appointment until FEB! Good to know though that everyone shares the fear that they can't or won't get pregnant.

Welcome dede! How old are you? Are you charting and doing OPK's or anything? HOpefully you will get pregnant in the next few months and won't need that appointment

 

[Hollynesss]

Jeez, I'm so sorry to hear that, Kat! It sounds like you've been dealt a rough hand all around :/ I do love and appreciate my job very much. Have you tried applying at Dr offices or other small places? They may be more receptive to you, especially if you go in and speak to them

 

[Mrs. Tigger]

Hi Ladies. Can I join?

I turn 30 next Wednesday. I started NTNP on March 1st, the day after I took my last pill. I was on the pill for almost 10 years before. My first "cycle" off of BCP was ~7,5 months long and ended with a 17-day long period

I have an appointment in January to check if I have PCOS since my periods from when I started them at age 12 to when I went on BCP at age 20 were always irregular. I wish I paid attention to them back then...I remember them being irregular and my mother just telling me that they would regulate as I get older So I don't really know how irregular they were or what to expect now.

I'm on CD26 today and felt some sudden pain my lower left abdomen which I wish/hope is ovulation pain (my period didn't stop until CD17, though, so who knows?). Unfortunately we were both tired and didn't last night (I'm trying to make sure to BD every other day since we have no idea if I ovulate at all, or when). We did 3 days ago and I will make sure we do tonight as well. Of course the pain may be totally unrelated, or maybe even in my imagination But, we'd better try, right?

For now, I'm trying not to obsess over anything. I'd like to see what my second cycle is like (I hope it's not another 7,5 months, that's for sure!).

to all of you!

 

[dede3124]

Thanks all for the welcome. I am 33 and currently use OPK's and temp. Been using OPKs for about 9 months and this is my 5th month BBT.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Welcome Mrs. Tigger! We have another lady on here from Denmark!! (Kat lives in Demark)

 

[KatO79]

Jeez, I'm so sorry to hear that, Kat! It sounds like you've been dealt a rough hand all around :/ I do love and appreciate my job very much. Have you tried applying at Dr offices or other small places? They may be more receptive to you, especially if you go in and speak to them

I don't think Dr offices can use me as there is no lab in any of them and I'm not fully trained in taking blood from people. The small companies have also rejected me as they don't hire very often and when they do they only want very experienced people to help them become bigger. I even knew someone who worked at a small company who said I could use his name in my unsolicited application to the same company. But they weren't hiring because of the economical situation but would let me know. Never heard from them again. I once tried handing in an unsolicited application personally at a company and they thought I was weird I was rejected and told they don't want people handing applications personally. I don't think it's the thing here to show up personally, they discourage it.

 

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, Mrs. Tigger! Are you temping or using opks? I find that temping, once you get to know your normal highs and lows, is the best way to definitely tell if you've O'd or not.

Kat- Sometimes Dr offices here have small labs in them that employ Med Techs, so that's why I asked about it. I sure hope you can find something! Its a shame to waste a degree like that Thank goodness your husband has your back financially in the meantime!

 

[cutestuff]

Welcome DeeDee and Mrs. Tigger... Glad to have some new faces. And Kat- I hear you. I am having the same issue in terms of finding somewhere to use my education. I enjoy the job I have (sometimes) but it is nowhere close to a career and I would like to have a career. I have several degrees and some experience but the economic situation as well as some negative experiences have put me in a situation where I am not having a lot of luck because most the things my supervisors would say about me would be negative for the kind of work I would like to do. Hence thinking about starting my own business. Not sure where to start cause it is a lot of money up front but I am thinking about it......I really hope we have some good christmas news in this group.... it would be nice....

 

[Mrs. Tigger]

Welcome, Mrs. Tigger! Are you temping or using opks? I find that temping, once you get to know your normal highs and lows, is the best way to definitely tell if you've O'd or not.

Hi! And thanks for the welcome!

I'm not temping or using OPKs yet, but I did just order some OPKs from Amazon, so I'll start next cycle. I may try temping eventually as well, but I don't know if I have the patience to remember to do it every day.

 

[dede3124]

I say start testing and using opks sooner rather than later....hindsight is 20/20 but I wish I would have just started sooner so I would know if our struggle to conceive is not timing things right or more of a concern.