Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Mrs. Tigger]

I'm curious -- I read of a lot of people saying they thought it would be easy to fall pregnant after they stopped preventing.

But did any of you ever "just know" it was going to be hard to conceive? I think I always just knew somehow . . . one reason is that my periods were super irregular when I was a teenager up until I started BCP when I turned 20. But the second reason is that I just somehow knew deep down inside that it wasn't going to be easy. I am not normally one to believe in any kind of 'intuition', but I just always had a feeling about this particular issue.

A part of me kicks myself for not pushing DH any harder about trying sooner . . . but I know it's hard to argue 'my intuition says it's going to be hard, so it will be'.

I also don't open up to DH much about TTC . . . I am just happy that he's on board with things after waiting for us "to be ready" for so long. For the longest time he seemed to think that I didn't really understand what I wanted to get into, or how hard it would be. But he talks about it now like he seems to really understand that having a child is an important thing to me and and important thing I want to do with my life. But that being said, I don't like the idea of driving him crazy with baby talk and discussing TTC. I also know that he has realized there will be good things about being a father once the baby is here, but he's never been one of those men who had the life-long yearning to have kids . . . so in a weird way I don't want to drive him crazy or scare him.

(I am turning 30 next week and DH turns 35 next month, btw).

 

[Hollynesss]

Mrs Tigger- I have always felt like it would be difficult for me, too. My periods were also irregular before BCP, and it took my body a while to regulate itself once off.

I'm also like you with my husband. He's on board with trying, but doesn't know the extent of my crazy TTC tendencies!

 

[Ms Elizabeth]

Mjsbabyshaw....I am about to turn 37 and this is my first...OH just turned 43. I look at it as experienced. He's past the age of wanting to be with the guys every night...stable in a job. There are 1000 ways to look at age. Find which works for you! I waited till I was done school, then stable job...then the right guy. Took me some time. But...I don't feel in my late 30s. I feel...30. Lol. It's a number, don't think like I did. . You hit 35 and life is over. Life just begins! Well...it did for me. Stay positive

 

[crystlmcd]

Hey ladies, how is everyone doing today? I had a big temp dip so I'm hoping it comes back up tomorrow and AF isn't coming early. Hope you all have a great weekend!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Zen - that's really tough...I have stopped following a lot of my friends on Facebook because I don't want to be bombarded with pics of their babies and posts about Mommy stuff. My coworker who sits right next to me announced her 4th pregnancy two weeks ago. I cried in the bathroom at work! She was just pregnant last year with #3!

Mrs. Tigger - I thought I would get pregnant fast, but I had an intuition that I would miscarry. Maybe my intuition/negative thinking caused my miscarriage? I sure hope not, but I can't help to feel partly to blame. As soon as I got pregnant my first month of trying, I thought....I'm NEVER this lucky. Things are always a struggle for me....things just don't go my way this easily! And, of course, they didn't.

All - I finally got my temp rise today!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Mjsbabyshaw....I am about to turn 37 and this is my first...OH just turned 43. I look at it as experienced. He's past the age of wanting to be with the guys every night...stable in a job. There are 1000 ways to look at age. Find which works for you! I waited till I was done school, then stable job...then the right guy. Took me some time. But...I don't feel in my late 30s. I feel...30. Lol. It's a number, don't think like I did. . You hit 35 and life is over. Life just begins! Well...it did for me. Stay positive

Thanks....I am dealing with some fertility issues (basically running out of eggs early). So even though I feel much younger and I'm very healthy otherwise, my reproductive system is that of a 42 year old! You are so very lucky that you got pregnant quickly because TTC for a long time, no matter what age, and especially after a miscarriage, is extremely frustrating...probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

 

[bighouse]

Sorry for all of you who have recently had to go/ are going through procedures soon. And sorry for those of you struggling with all the different aspects of TTC. I kept intending to reply individually, but I figured a blanket group reply was better than no reply

AFM I'm in the 2WW. Think I ovulated Sunday night but we kept BDing this week just in case. I don't totally trust OPK's, or my body! This AM was our last TTC BD session, so now we both get a break (phew!)

I think I'm going to test on Thanksgiving (unless I can hold out longer), although AF isn't due until 3 days after. DH is more positive about the outcome of this cycle, and although the timing wasn't perfect, it was better than the last several months. FX!

 

[bighouse]

MJ- how did you find out that you were running out of eggs early? That is one of the things I'm concerned about (given my history) but I have not had any formal testing done for that (lately anyway). What tests did you have done? Sorry you have to deal with that!

 

[zen108]

Thanks ladies! I am away from DH now, attending some training courses in the outskirts. So dealing AF alone with a friend's BFP is not easy, but thanks for all your encouragement and words of wisdom. I feel better now.

Mrs tigger, it has never occur to me that TTC would be so difficult because I always have regular periods. On the dot. The only time I missed my period was during my short pregnancy. i really don't know what is wrong with me and don't understand why it is so difficult.

Cryst, looks like we are on the same page. Your chart looks similar to me.

AFM - what i thought was period is only merely spotting. For the whole day. No AF. Don't know's going on. But feel AF is surely to come tmw. Boobs still sore. Still spotting. Peeing more. Let's see if my temps will go up.

 

[KatO79]

I didn't think we'd have any problems either given my cycles were super regular before I went on BCP and went right back to being regular after I stopped taking them end of September last year. But despite our best efforts, still not pregnant with my sticky bean yet It's good to know that they haven't found anything wrong with my hormones or from the ultrasound (and they doubt my tubes are blocked). So both a relief and frustrating at the smae time Our RE has high hopes for us though and she's sure that all we need is IUI and we'll soon get our BFP. Here's hoping she's right

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

MJ- how did you find out that you were running out of eggs early? That is one of the things I'm concerned about (given my history) but I have not had any formal testing done for that (lately anyway). What tests did you have done? Sorry you have to deal with that!

I had my CD3 blood work done and my FSH came back at 15.5, which is really high for a 34 year old. It should be around 6; 8-9 is considered high, 10 is bad, over 12 is very bad....when it's 25 you are in menopause. It's so weird because my cycles are pretty regular, though I do have a short LP and light periods, but I had attributed that to being on BCP for 10 years. Before I was on BCP, my cycles were a regular 28-30 days and my periods were normal.

Chinese medicine says that high FSH can be caused by stress or just a hormonal imbalance, and it's not necessarily diminished ovarian reserve....or I could have one "lazy ovary" which would make more sense for me because I'll have two cycles where I ovulate around CD15 and then one cycle where I ovulate CD19-26. When I got my high FSH test done, on that cycle I didn't ovulate until CD21, so maybe I was ovulating from my lazy ovary??

 

[Ms Elizabeth]

Mjsbabyshaw....all ya need is 1 egg. You know when you search for something at a store, and they are at...then you find it hidden. That's what you need! I know it's easy for me to say positive. I'm sending you all the baby dust I have! Hang in there

 

[Fleur828815]

Wow this thread has moved on quite a bit in the past couple of days !

Welcome to all the newcomers, and lots of hugs to those who are having a tough time.

Will go and catch up now.

 

[cutestuff]

Hi Ladies

I was reading the last several pages of this post and I totally had an instinct that it could be longer for us to ttc. Not because everything is a struggle, but more because we used only the withdrawal method for 5.5 years and never got pregnant. I know it will eventually happen because I have dreams about having a family that seem very realistic, but for whatever reason, it is just going to take a while to get there. As for working with people announcing pregnancies while I am ttc, I have not experienced that yet. I did have a couple of acquaintances announce pregnancies right before I started and I thought maybe I would be next, but I am still on my period. Another weird thing for me is that since starting to ttc, my cycles have changed. Before they were very regular, then in August I had a 9 day period-after which I went to the public health department in my area for an annual and was told it could have been an early loss. The cycles in September and October were normal, but then this cycle came 4 days late and is continuing a day longer than normal so I don't know if maybe I was pregnant and it didn't stick or if I geared up to ovulate and didn't for a couple of days or what. I will say that I am glad to be a member of this group and I would love to develop great relationships with all of you.

As for anything having to do with running- that is beyond me. I say running is for overachievers just like getting pregnant in the first 6 months of ttc is. I am doing zumba (dance fitness) and since starting I have lost about 15-20 pounds. I don't know, I just have to I guess relax which is stupid because you just want results and these are the only results you cannot achieve through hard work and dedication... its contradictory...

 

[crystlmcd]

You're so right cutestuff. It's hard to relax when ttc since so much has to be right to even have a chance at getting pregnant each cycle.

I love being part of this group. Everyone is so helpful and supportive. It's also one of the few groups I've found here where I don't feel overwhelmed by the number of people/posts.

 

[Fleur828815]

WARNING : long post!

Praying, I understand having mixed feelings about the ultrasound results. Is your RE supportive? Does he think the spotting is a sign of something not quite right? Hope the progesterone helps. Don’t feel bad about “rushing” to get tests done. If there had been anything wrong, you’d rather know sooner than later so you can get it fixed. It’s good that you’ve got your Hawai'I trip to look forward to. Pregnant or not, it’ll be fun! Am so impressed you’re training for a triathlon too! Enjoy the reunion with DH.

MJs, I’ve never temped but I’m guessing a temp rise is good

Hollyness, hope you’ll be able to get a better job with your Masters degree.

Kat, I didn’t know all the details about your job, you never stood a chance with them did you 

cutestuff, sky diving? Scuba diving?

zen, no wonder you feel upset, I know how hard it is to be surrounded by pregnant women when there’s nothing you want more for yourself. I so hope AF won’t show up, keep us updated!

crystlmcd, hope your temp goes back up!

bighouse, fingers crossed for a Thanksgiving BFP for you.

MrsTigger, I never really thought about it all that much, but I suppose I naively thought it would all happen quickly once I made up my mind. I wish I’d started TTC earlier, we were moving countries and I wanted both of us to be stable (career, finances, house etc) before. Having said that, SO many of my friends have fallen pregnant easily that once we started trying, I was convinced it would take a long time (just to even up the statistics!), plus I started spotting a few days before AF each month so I thought there was something wrong. I was surprised it happened quickly but I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks – which didn’t surprise me all that much because I was so convinced things would go wrong… I’m not superstitious but I hope I didn’t bring on bad luck. Yesterday we were at my little cousin’s first birthday party, I was a bit wistful after that and told my DH that maybe we’d never have a child, he just huffed and replied “yeah, that’s true, maybe not”.

On another thread there’s a lady who fell pregnant the first month and had a missed miscarriage recently, she is so enthusiastic about TTC once her AF comes back in a couple of weeks and is convinced it will happen quickly again. I wish I felt as optimistic as her, right now I’m convinced that with my luck, my cycles will be messed up for months and I’ll really struggle to conceive (still waiting for AF almost 5 weeks after D&C), or I’ll miscarry again.

So many women who’ve had babies easily don’t understand how hard it can be for others. My mom is still convinced that I had a D&C for “nothing” and that I could have miscarried on my own, she said “it would have been just like a heavy period”.

 

[dede3124]

I feared that it may take a while to conceive, but figured a while would mean a couple of months. When previously TTC in my former marriage I think it took us 2-3 months so I figured that was evidence that it wouldn't be hard....that pregnancy ended not long after it started so I find I also fear losing a pregnancy that I have waited so long to achieve....I am sure that is SUPER common. Anyway....I never thought it would take longer than a year. I have tried to figure out what months we may have not timed things right to tell myself that maybe we haven't had a full year of good attempts. Getting some blood work done soon and DH should be getting SA so we will see. Good Luck! Fingers Crossed!

 

[Hollynesss]

Yes, I love how lively this thread has been!

MJ- have you ever gotten your AMH level tested? That is a more true measure of ovarian reserve than FSH, since FSH can be influenced by other factors (such as stress, etc.)

All of you ladies have a fabulous weekend, and do something nice for yourselves

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Holly, no I didn't because I just assumed my idiot OB would have ordered that test as part of my CD3 blood work. At this point I sort of don't even want the test. I mean, if it comes back bad I will just stress out and be miserable about it because there isn't much I can do...just egg donor and IVF. I would rather just have hope each month that my miracle egg will come through to turn into my rainbow take-home baby!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Mjsbabyshaw....all ya need is 1 egg. You know when you search for something at a store, and they are at...then you find it hidden. That's what you need! I know it's easy for me to say positive. I'm sending you all the baby dust I have! Hang in there

Thanks so much. I really hope you are right. I wish I could ovulate like one a week LOL! So hard to hope that my miracle egg will develop each month. But I have hope. Today at least.