Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[KatO79]

I have never heard of that game, but I have played a game called apples to apples and I think the idea might be similar from what it sounds like. Bighouse, I am sorry for your period. that sucks....Its hard to really stay positive when you never seem to get what you want, but I am sure we will get there eventually....As for Kat... I know what you mean about studying with people who do not carry their own weight. I just completed my masters degree in health care administration through UOP- despite what you hear, if you do the work, it is a worth while education as the material is more relevant to the career than a traditional school. Anyway we had learning teams there to help us deal with working environments when people don't always view the workplace like we do.. The point is there were times when I had to carry people and because it was a shared grade, they got credit for my work. Though they did have an evaluation in the end where you could talk about your team and the individual members...

Good luck with that....
Welcome lollie...

Well it's easier as I'm not per say studying with her, got my Masters back in 2007 so she's on her own taking the Bachelors. My DH and I just went along with trying to help her understand the material since we both had similar subjects to what she's taking now but I think she's doomed and will be re-taking her whole 1st semester I have never had the misfortune to work on anything with her. The report I mentioned was an individual effort as it was based on her final project at the place she was working as a trainee. I just was reading it through after she had handed it in when I saw the error and for fun was trying to figure out what was really going on on a biochemical level.

So no problem for me. I just find it annoying that she's being lazy again and hasn't learned from her mistakes. She's 33 and should be smarter but nope She's stuck in the mindframe of a 16 year old. Don't think she wants to grow up and be responsible Can only hope her plans of becoming a single mom (using a donor as she doesn't hink she'll find anybody) in the future never happens as she'd be the most hopeless mother. I don't think she truely understand the commitment and how much she will have to give that baby her 1st priority. The poor child will end up mothering her in the end

 

[KatO79]

Yeah I guess she forgot or doesn't empathize much with what I'm going through since I'm struggling with TTC#1 and she got pregnant very easily at 36 with #1. Her issues were with #2 when she hit 40 and had him at 42. So maybe she just doesn't get it? Her and my SIL (had her daughter at 46 after a 5 year struggle) feel I'm so young at 35 so it'll happen soon enough, they don't get my fertility has halved already Don't think they realize that you can have issues at mid-30s (or for that sake even earlier) and think it's first when you're 40 or over that it starts getting problematic I don't feel like discussing it with them because it'd be a waste of time

Yes she's very trying to talk to. When it's over the phone, she talks most of the time about the same issues: the economy, her stocks and how there are too many foreigners or that the unemployed are lazy (gee, thanks ma). Her most recent trip is that the government should do away with unemployment checks so people pull themselves together and get jobs instead of sponging off of society DH tried to tell her that jobs aren't so easy to come by anymore like when she was young (where a degree of any kind practically garanteed you a job) and people need something to live off of while they're jobhunting if they've been so unfortunate to be fired. She wouldn't budge She's very opinionated and impossible to discuss anything with. She used to call me every day (except weekends) to talk for 1 hour each time about topics like this, very trying and I normally barely get a word in edgewise.

Not only did I have to put up with her Wednesday night but now I'll have to put up with DH's narcissistic friend almost all Saturday He got his Masters after 18 years and fully expects to get a job handed to him and can't understand why no one is interested. Don't think he send many applications as he feels it should be easy for him to get a job. He didn't learn from my experiences apparently and I only took 6½ years to finish my degree. Every time he talks about it, he asks me how my job hunting is going and I have to keep repeating each time I see him that I'm on hiatus until DH and I have our baby but he'll ask again next time I see him. Last time he also wanted me to see his resume, as if I care about his resume He doesn't want kids himself (he'd be a horrible, self-absorbed father so here's hoping) so I don't think it interests him the slightest, hence why he keeps forgetting DH and I are TTCing

This weekend is generally going to be bad as DH is going to a Christmas luncheon with his collegues tonight (wives and husbands are never invited to the business ones here), my Saturday in Sweden with DH's annoying friend and then Sunday we have to help DH's big brother move to his new house since him and his wife are divorcing and have sold their house. As a precaution I've told DH I won't be moving anything really heavy.

Sorry for the rant

Hope you're doing OK Fleur. I can just imagine how trying it'd be to have many friends announcing their pregnancies now But I guess this one isn't so bad as she had issues conceiving I would be more upset with any friend who got pregnant by accident or conceived very quickly to be honest. Here's hoping you soon get your sticky bfp

Thanks for asking Kat. I'm doing better, I'm trying not to think about baby-related stuff at all. It actually gives me hope when my friends who've struggled manage to fall pregnant. When I told DH about her, he asked if April is when we were due too... (It was May). It irritated me that he didn't even remember the date anymore when he was so excited about the due date being around his birthday.

Hod did your Saturday with DH's friend go?

Good to know you're feeling better I don't think your DH meant it to seem like he doesn't care, maybe it's a coping thing with trying to forget and look towards the future or something like that

Didn't go as bad as thought but I was definitely in the background as he took center stage and talked almost non-stop about nothing The only thing interesting thing was he's having some issues with the son of his girlfriend as he's 15-16 and hanging out with the wrong people and he tried to father him at one point, big mistake He's also trying to pressure the girlfriend into giving her 2 kids separate rooms as it giving friction having a 16 year old boy and a 10 year old girl living in the same small room. I was so glad when he went home so we could have peace which didn't last long as we had to get up early the next to help DH's big brother move.

 

[Fleur828815]

bighouse, so sorry AF came Good to know that your DH is on board for further procedures or adoption just in case, but I hope you won't need to go there.

cutestuff, how inconsiderate and hurtful of your boss Some people truly have NO empathy, I just don’t understand ! Hope you’re feeling better.

zen, keep up the positive attitude. I know I need to try harder to think like you and enjoy all that I have although it’s hard.

MJs, I hope 2015 will be much better than this year, and that next year this time you’ll be complaining about sleepless nights We’ll miss you if you stay off B&B but some time off can do a lot of good.

Kat, you’d be better off telling your family that babies are off-topic, how irritating of all of them! We’d know if it was that easy to conceive. Honestly I wouldn’t want to help your friend study, at that age she should be able to take some responsibility for her studies. Can’t imagine why she’d want to become a single mom in her circumstances!

Hollyness, glad you enjoyed your holiday. Hope it was just too early to test.

deafgal, are you still on a TTC break? Thanks for being here for us and giving us advice

Welcome cutelollie, no idea about Pregnacare but someone else might help.

 

[cutestuff]

I am feeling better. Thanks Fleur. I think I have to just stop and realize that not many people have relationships like the one I have with my husband and I would venture to guess each of you have with yours. He is literally my best friend and my sole mate. We had a conversation a few nights ago about what it would mean if I never got pregnant and I admit I hesitated because I honestly don't know. But the more I have thought about it, the more I have realized that while being a mother would mean a lot to me, I don't know how to be without my husband... I did have a weird dream a few nights ago that we had gotten some tests and it was weird. The first test was a pregnancy test and it came up pregnant, then I dipped it again and it was normal, then it said no pcos and fertile...I had another dream last night that I was pregnant, but its weird because every time I have these dreams, I never see my husband... I really hope this is our month, but I can't spend any money to actually take or do the tests it would require to make sure I am fertile and that he is fertile... I also was thinking a bit more about our journey and due to the timing of our bd in 2 of the months, I was out before I even started, so this is actually only the 4th month of ttc. That said, I could really use some good news.... I am thinking about each of you and will hope and pray that someone in this group gets a sticky bfp for christmas...maybe even a couple of us....

 

[Hollynesss]

Hi cutelollie! I don't have any personal experience with those meds. You will probably get a lot of help if you create a thread in the TTC forum. We are all over 30 and trying for number 1 Best of luck to you!

Kat- I would refuse to help her if I were you! That sounds like a high-stress career choice, is she sure it's something she really wants?

Bighouse, I hate that dumb witch

 

[KatO79]

bighouse, so sorry AF came Good to know that your DH is on board for further procedures or adoption just in case, but I hope you won't need to go there.

cutestuff, how inconsiderate and hurtful of your boss Some people truly have NO empathy, I just don’t understand ! Hope you’re feeling better.

zen, keep up the positive attitude. I know I need to try harder to think like you and enjoy all that I have although it’s hard.

MJs, I hope 2015 will be much better than this year, and that next year this time you’ll be complaining about sleepless nights We’ll miss you if you stay off B&B but some time off can do a lot of good.

Kat, you’d be better off telling your family that babies are off-topic, how irritating of all of them! We’d know if it was that easy to conceive. Honestly I wouldn’t want to help your friend study, at that age she should be able to take some responsibility for her studies. Can’t imagine why she’d want to become a single mom in her circumstances!

Hollyness, glad you enjoyed your holiday. Hope it was just too early to test.

deafgal, are you still on a TTC break? Thanks for being here for us and giving us advice

Welcome cutelollie, no idea about Pregnacare but someone else might help.

Yeah I probably should but don't know how to deal with the questions if I suddenly decide I don't want to talk about it anymore My MIL is in some ways the most annoying because she's showing the least amount of understanding (my mom is just being herself so I just try and ignore her). I find it hurtful that she thinks you just have to relax and then you get pregnant. But I think when we tell her my hormones are fine, I'm Oing and my tubes are clear that she thinks it MUST be a psychological thing So she's not taking it seriously It would've been better if e.g. my tubes were blocked because then she'd understand we have an actual physical problem and would understand why it wasn't happening. As it is now, there shouldn't be any problems. So guess she thinks it's silly we very well will be needing IUI and are wasting money and effort when we could just relax and do it naturally for free. We're the first she knows that hasn't gotten pregnant within 3-4 months of trying. Even her mother (DH's grandmother) is showing more understanding and she didn't have problems conceiving her 3 daughters either I don't know why MIL will absolutely refuse to understand but there it is. Maybe I should get DH to talk to her

I wasn't much for helping her but DH let her talk him into it. I think we should tell her that we don't have the time and that she'll just have to re-take her whole semester and learn from it. I was a bit too lazy the 1st semester when I was taking my Bachelors and failed all but 1 class but I learned from it and worked my behind off next semester and ever since. But I was 21 then

Because she can't figure out how to appreciate good guys, she goes for the very hot men that treat her like garbage. Her 2 last boyfriends physically and emotionally abused her She goes for looks. I've tried to tell her that she needs to compromise on the looks department and start finding someone with a good heart but it falls on deaf ears: "But if he's not hot, then I can't be attracted to him" She asked us once if we knew any single guys and we knew only 1. Her first question was if he's hot and when we said no then she wasn't interested at all. She's not very good looking herself and has tons of emotional baggage. So since she'll never find anyone the way she picks them, she was thinking that in 3-4 years time, she'll use a donor but she's not entirely sure yet. As said, she'd be a bad mother. She's too focused on herself and she'd put that child in bad or wrong situaitions.

Hi cutelollie! I don't have any personal experience with those meds. You will probably get a lot of help if you create a thread in the TTC forum. We are all over 30 and trying for number 1 Best of luck to you!

Kat- I would refuse to help her if I were you! That sounds like a high-stress career choice, is she sure it's something she really wants?

Bighouse, I hate that dumb witch

No I don't think she'd be a good engineer and doubts she really understands what the job entails She's too unsure of herself and too lazy. I don't think she could get a job anyway. If I couldn't get a job as an engineer, she won't either. She was also lazy when applying for jobs as well before she decided to try studying for a Bachelors degree. She claims she wants a job but I don't think she really does. She doesn't want to grow up

 

[Hollynesss]

Cute- My husband and I had a conversation similar to that. We agreed we would spend our time and money traveling and living in a nice house if we dont conceive. It's painful to think about,but, like you, if we have each other then that is enough.

 

[cutestuff]

I had to comment. That lady going for an engineering job sounds like a wacadoodle. She will eventually regret slacking off. As I said already I do have my degrees, but I am a glorified receptionist at a landscape company and so far it is the best job I have been offered or had and it sucks....That said, There are some people who simply do not want to understand because it is not happening to them. If it was easy or would be easy for them then they think its the same way for everyone else.

I just want to imagine a group right now because I think we all need it. I will say that I am still feeling positive for each of us and I think that if there are things you can do to take your mind off of ttc, do it... I have started crocheting (I have two baby blankets going- one boy, one girl) the first one I started looks like it was made by someone who was blind or something

I hope you all have a wonderful day

 

[Hollynesss]

I'm totally down for the group hug!

 

[deafgal01]

Group

Fleur- yes still on break mainly due to no sperms bought for any more iui plus we don't have the funds for it. I am focused on the upcoming cruise in March anyways and according to the brochure they strongly avoid letting women who are beyond 3 to 4 months preg from going so I decided I would put baby making on hold to make sure I get to go! First cruise ever!!! I originally thought maybe try again jan 2015 but with tryin to get into grad school I figured I would be better off holding off until after August/September 2015. Grad school is only a 15 month program if I get accepted (I find out in Feb or March if I have). So those are my main reasons to wait but I figured I can make new friends to support on their journeys too.

 

[bighouse]

Thanks for the hugs and kind words!

Well my body is driving me crazy, what I thought with AF has stopped. There was spotting this AM which I thought was the start of AF but it has stopped and no more today. So of course I consulted Dr Google and he said that if it isn't AF, it could be because we DTD last night (blood flow to the cervix etc increases during pregnancy, making it easier to irritate/bleed a little) and/or implantation bleeding could happen up to 12 days after implementation (I didn't know there could be such a time gap). The 1st is more likely I think (I hesitated to DTD but figured it was OK). I still think AF is imminent but there is still a shred of hope, I guess.

Another dip on the emotional roller coaster! I think I will make an appt with my OBGYN this week since I need to talk to her about our TTC issues anyway.

 

[Hollynesss]

AF is the worst when she plays hide and seek like that! If she's going to break our hearts, I wish she'd just do it quickly and get it over with.

 

[dede3124]

Please pardon my vent....feeling angry at the moment and hoping a little venting will help. Out today on cycle 13. I have no 'new' thoughts to share as I am with everyone else on what they have said. Feel defeated, why us, will we ever conceive to healthy baby.... I have often used fail cycles to put more effort in, try something new, buy a book an read it. Last cycle I decided to see the doc only to find that I was referred to a specialist who was scheduling for feb! Grrr. Talked to my doc and she gave me a different place to go at they could get me in the same week! Yea! Went and was told they could do some blood work and a semen analysis but after that I would need to go to the specialist. Grrr. I am sure they are now scheduling for march the soonest. I have also found myself reading on here for ideas however now I find it is making me more angry lol 'three months and still no bfp' stuff is driving me crazy. I had no idea this process would take so long or be so hard. I keep trying to find months that we didn't really have a chance to try and tell myself 'it hasn't really been a year' lol I do regret not starting sooner and not seeking help sooner and can't help but to feel I am racing the clock on my age. Grrr anyway sorry for the negative vent and maybe I can feel better now lol fingers crossed for us all!

 

[bighouse]

dede- vent away! We share your feelings. It is so frustrating!

AFM I am seeing the doc this afternoon. AF never really showed (just a little spotting in the morning on 15dpo after BD the night before), but all my tests are BFNs! I'm going to have them run a HCG blood test to make sure. Today is 16dpo. AF has never played hide and seek before... it's all or nothing (when she does come it is intense with cramps that could kill, and heavy flow). I haven't had any cramps. BBs are still sore.

I wanted to see the doc first thing this morning, but I have to wait for an appliance delivery before I can leave home... The uncertainty is driving me crazy!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Dede - we all feel the same way as you do sometimes. I keep going back to the fact that chances are very good that if we keep trying, it will happen eventually. Maybe it will take three years...or fertility meds, but MOST people end up conceiving. That said, there is still a small chance that it might never happen...I just have to hold onto hope that it's just not my time yet and that my take home baby is waiting for me.

Bighouse, I really hope you are pregnant! How soon will you be able to get the blood results?

All - saw my acu last night and she wants me to take the progesterone all the way through 15dpo and test on 16dpo, which isn't until Saturday!! She said that some people don't get pos HPT until a couple days after AF is due. This is officially the longest TWW ever!!

 

[bighouse]

MJ- I am glad she is having you wait! I meant to suggest that earlier. It's safer to give it more time, that way if you are one of the ones that get a late BFP you wouldn't have stopped the progesterone too early (and risk evicting a would-be sticky bean!)

The appliance delivery crew just left, so I just need to finish up a few things at home and then it is off to the doc! I hope he has some answers! I won't get the results until tomorrow at the earliest (they have to send it out to a lab- this doc doesn't have an in-house lab, but they are the ones my insurance covers). I'm with you MJ, this is the longest 2WW (going on 3WW) ever!!!

 

[cutestuff]

Mrs. shaw - I would go with what your acu said because as already stated if you do not have high enough progesterone levels, you could be failing to implant.
Bighouse- that sounds promising. I will be interested in seeing what the doctor says about the short af.
Dede- I am with you there. I have only been trying for 6 months, but I do go back and look at the cycles we have failed on to see if there is any way I can cut that down. For me there is because a few of the months we only dtd 2 times and neither time would have been close enough to my o date to impregnate me.
That said, I am having a hard time not fighting with my husband. I don't know exactly when I will ovulate this month- I saw ewcm the Wednesday before thanksgiving so we bd'd on thanksgiving. I then saw brown spotting starting Friday evening into Saturday (ovulation spotting I think-not typical for me) and we bd'd again Saturday night. I was hoping we would continue with the eod method but we missed last night and I am not sure if we will tonight or not....It feels sometimes like I can't be too upset we are not conceiving because I don't think we are having enough sex to really try and get the egg.

For those of you with progesterone, were there any symptoms that you are aware of that made you think of your progesterone and are there any over the counter vitamins that could help?????

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Hopefully it will end up being a 9 month wait!!

 

[dede3124]

Not sure I feel any better but worth a try! Thanks for comments.

MJ - I hadn't thought of it that way lol still a worry though....I just can't help myself!

 

[cutestuff]

Dede, it will take a while to feel better. It is really easy to be in the "woe is me" mind set. Maybe take a minute and find 5 things you are thankful for??? Me, as messed up as it is my 5 things are as follows
1) I have regular periods (at least I know I don't have ovulation issues)
2) I can officially say I have spend over a third of my life with my husband
3) Even if I don't like what people say I do have support in my corner
4) Husband is willing to do tests and see if there is a medical reason why we are not conceiving
5) I am thankful I believe in a God who has a plan for me and I can hope and pray that plan includes children eventually...


That said, in unrelated news- I did speak with my boss again, and I think I might have not understood what she was saying. I think she was just stating her experience and I took it personally (easy to do I know). But she reminded me that if I choose to believe in God, then I must also believe there is a plan for my life and when it is time, when I am ready, I will have a BFP. I do feel like I am getting closer and statistically 85% or so of all couples who ttc will get pregnant within one year. I just have to stop overthinking it and focus on keeping myself healthy........