Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[MJsBabyShaw]

Cutestuff...regarding progesterone...I thought I might need it because my luteal phase was always short. I would always start spotting on 9-11DPO, so I figured I had low progesterone or a luteal phase defect or something.

Then last cycle my temps looked really great from about 6-10DPO but they fell after that, so my acupuncturist thinks that I didn't have a thick enough lining to implant. So she suggested taking progesterone supplements during my luteal phase to help with that.

 

[Hollynesss]

CD1 for me I was able to get an appt with a new obgyn that my coworker recommend for Monday at 1230 My insurance will be changing (for the better) in 2015 but I wanted to at least get the blood work out of the way since coverage for lab tests won't be changing. That way if I need treatment I can do that once the new insurance kicks in.

Bighouse, hoping for the best!!!

Dede, You are always welcome to vent here!

MJ- you have strong willpower for sure!! Hoping for good news after this really long tww!

 

[crystlmcd]

Hi all. Sorry I've been MIA but it's been a busy week. Nothing much to report for me. CD7 so just waiting for O. Can't wait to see some BFPs in this thread!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

No BFP for this gal! I'm out...started spotting today on CD12. I'm not even taking my progesterone tonight...what's the point.

I didn't even cry this month...I guess my August 11th due date dream wasn't true! Oh well. No Christmas BFP....actually no sticky BFP in 2014! Depending on when I ovulate this month, I probably wouldn't see a BFP until 2015. So my time for trying this year is over. I'm glad...this year sucked. I hope next year brings me my rainbow.

On another note, I was listening to my iPod while driving and the song "A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion came on. I've listened to that song a bunch of times over the years (it's not exactly a new song) and I always imagined that it was about falling in love with your soul mate/husband/boyfriend or whatever. I don't think I have listened to it since I had my miscarriage. And listening to it just recently, I thought "oh, this sounds like she is singing about her child". I heard it through the lens of a mother for the first time and I felt so emotional. Later I looked it up online and Celine struggled with infertility and she did write that song about her son after he was born. If I ever have a child I, I want to write out the lyrics and frame them and put them on the wall of my baby's nursery. They are so beautifully written.

 

[crystlmcd]

Sorry MJ. I hope 2015 is your year!

 

[Fleur828815]

I am feeling better. Thanks Fleur. I think I have to just stop and realize that not many people have relationships like the one I have with my husband and I would venture to guess each of you have with yours. He is literally my best friend and my sole mate. We had a conversation a few nights ago about what it would mean if I never got pregnant and I admit I hesitated because I honestly don't know. But the more I have thought about it, the more I have realized that while being a mother would mean a lot to me, I don't know how to be without my husband... I did have a weird dream a few nights ago that we had gotten some tests and it was weird. The first test was a pregnancy test and it came up pregnant, then I dipped it again and it was normal, then it said no pcos and fertile...I had another dream last night that I was pregnant, but its weird because every time I have these dreams, I never see my husband... I really hope this is our month, but I can't spend any money to actually take or do the tests it would require to make sure I am fertile and that he is fertile... I also was thinking a bit more about our journey and due to the timing of our bd in 2 of the months, I was out before I even started, so this is actually only the 4th month of ttc. That said, I could really use some good news.... I am thinking about each of you and will hope and pray that someone in this group gets a sticky bfp for christmas...maybe even a couple of us....

What you said about your DH is so sweet We might complain about them sometimes but we are lucky to have them.
Thank you for your prayers, hoping for a BFP for you too.

 

[Fleur828815]

Yeah I probably should but don't know how to deal with the questions if I suddenly decide I don't want to talk about it anymore My MIL is in some ways the most annoying because she's showing the least amount of understanding (my mom is just being herself so I just try and ignore her). I find it hurtful that she thinks you just have to relax and then you get pregnant. But I think when we tell her my hormones are fine, I'm Oing and my tubes are clear that she thinks it MUST be a psychological thing So she's not taking it seriously It would've been better if e.g. my tubes were blocked because then she'd understand we have an actual physical problem and would understand why it wasn't happening. As it is now, there shouldn't be any problems. So guess she thinks it's silly we very well will be needing IUI and are wasting money and effort when we could just relax and do it naturally for free. We're the first she knows that hasn't gotten pregnant within 3-4 months of trying. Even her mother (DH's grandmother) is showing more understanding and she didn't have problems conceiving her 3 daughters either I don't know why MIL will absolutely refuse to understand but there it is. Maybe I should get DH to talk to her

I wasn't much for helping her but DH let her talk him into it. I think we should tell her that we don't have the time and that she'll just have to re-take her whole semester and learn from it. I was a bit too lazy the 1st semester when I was taking my Bachelors and failed all but 1 class but I learned from it and worked my behind off next semester and ever since. But I was 21 then

Because she can't figure out how to appreciate good guys, she goes for the very hot men that treat her like garbage. Her 2 last boyfriends physically and emotionally abused her She goes for looks. I've tried to tell her that she needs to compromise on the looks department and start finding someone with a good heart but it falls on deaf ears: "But if he's not hot, then I can't be attracted to him" She asked us once if we knew any single guys and we knew only 1. Her first question was if he's hot and when we said no then she wasn't interested at all. She's not very good looking herself and has tons of emotional baggage. So since she'll never find anyone the way she picks them, she was thinking that in 3-4 years time, she'll use a donor but she's not entirely sure yet. As said, she'd be a bad mother. She's too focused on herself and she'd put that child in bad or wrong situaitions.

Hi cutelollie! I don't have any personal experience with those meds. You will probably get a lot of help if you create a thread in the TTC forum. We are all over 30 and trying for number 1 Best of luck to you!

Kat- I would refuse to help her if I were you! That sounds like a high-stress career choice, is she sure it's something she really wants?

Bighouse, I hate that dumb witch

No I don't think she'd be a good engineer and doubts she really understands what the job entails She's too unsure of herself and too lazy. I don't think she could get a job anyway. If I couldn't get a job as an engineer, she won't either. She was also lazy when applying for jobs as well before she decided to try studying for a Bachelors degree. She claims she wants a job but I don't think she really does. She doesn't want to grow up

Kat, I think that the pregnancy we lost was never a baby to DH, he says the next one will be our baby.

I know what you mean when you say that at least if you had a recognized problem, it would be easier for MIL to understand. Can your DH talk to her and tell her that she just puts more pressure on you when she says you just need to relax?!

Your friend sounds very immature for her age, a child is the last thing she needs right now!

 

[Fleur828815]

Group

Fleur- yes still on break mainly due to no sperms bought for any more iui plus we don't have the funds for it. I am focused on the upcoming cruise in March anyways and according to the brochure they strongly avoid letting women who are beyond 3 to 4 months preg from going so I decided I would put baby making on hold to make sure I get to go! First cruise ever!!! I originally thought maybe try again jan 2015 but with tryin to get into grad school I figured I would be better off holding off until after August/September 2015. Grad school is only a 15 month program if I get accepted (I find out in Feb or March if I have). So those are my main reasons to wait but I figured I can make new friends to support on their journeys too.

I don't know how it works but does insurance refund you when you get donor sperm? It all sounds so tough

You're right to focus on the upcoming cruise and admission to grad school, it's good to have some things to look forward to, and hopefully next year you'll be able to start trying again. Thanks for supporting us in the meantime!

 

[Fleur828815]

Please pardon my vent....feeling angry at the moment and hoping a little venting will help. Out today on cycle 13. I have no 'new' thoughts to share as I am with everyone else on what they have said. Feel defeated, why us, will we ever conceive to healthy baby.... I have often used fail cycles to put more effort in, try something new, buy a book an read it. Last cycle I decided to see the doc only to find that I was referred to a specialist who was scheduling for feb! Grrr. Talked to my doc and she gave me a different place to go at they could get me in the same week! Yea! Went and was told they could do some blood work and a semen analysis but after that I would need to go to the specialist. Grrr. I am sure they are now scheduling for march the soonest. I have also found myself reading on here for ideas however now I find it is making me more angry lol 'three months and still no bfp' stuff is driving me crazy. I had no idea this process would take so long or be so hard. I keep trying to find months that we didn't really have a chance to try and tell myself 'it hasn't really been a year' lol I do regret not starting sooner and not seeking help sooner and can't help but to feel I am racing the clock on my age. Grrr anyway sorry for the negative vent and maybe I can feel better now lol fingers crossed for us all!

Vent away, we've all felt the same at some point I've read that 95% of women do manage to fall pregnant within 2 years but it seems like forever when you're trying.

 

[Fleur828815]

CD1 for me I was able to get an appt with a new obgyn that my coworker recommend for Monday at 1230 My insurance will be changing (for the better) in 2015 but I wanted to at least get the blood work out of the way since coverage for lab tests won't be changing. That way if I need treatment I can do that once the new insurance kicks in.

Sorry AF came but yay for the quick appointment! Hopefully the Obgyn will be able to give you reassuring news.

 

[Fleur828815]

Dede, it will take a while to feel better. It is really easy to be in the "woe is me" mind set. Maybe take a minute and find 5 things you are thankful for??? Me, as messed up as it is my 5 things are as follows
1) I have regular periods (at least I know I don't have ovulation issues)
2) I can officially say I have spend over a third of my life with my husband
3) Even if I don't like what people say I do have support in my corner
4) Husband is willing to do tests and see if there is a medical reason why we are not conceiving
5) I am thankful I believe in a God who has a plan for me and I can hope and pray that plan includes children eventually...


That said, in unrelated news- I did speak with my boss again, and I think I might have not understood what she was saying. I think she was just stating her experience and I took it personally (easy to do I know). But she reminded me that if I choose to believe in God, then I must also believe there is a plan for my life and when it is time, when I am ready, I will have a BFP. I do feel like I am getting closer and statistically 85% or so of all couples who ttc will get pregnant within one year. I just have to stop overthinking it and focus on keeping myself healthy........

I think we take everything personally when TTC is concerned :S Hoping it will be your turn soon.

Has anyone ever watched The Great Sperm Race? It's really interesting and shows just how difficult it is for pregnancy to happen!

 

[Fleur828815]

MJ- I am glad she is having you wait! I meant to suggest that earlier. It's safer to give it more time, that way if you are one of the ones that get a late BFP you wouldn't have stopped the progesterone too early (and risk evicting a would-be sticky bean!)

The appliance delivery crew just left, so I just need to finish up a few things at home and then it is off to the doc! I hope he has some answers! I won't get the results until tomorrow at the earliest (they have to send it out to a lab- this doc doesn't have an in-house lab, but they are the ones my insurance covers). I'm with you MJ, this is the longest 2WW (going on 3WW) ever!!!

What did the doc say bighouse? Keep us updated when you get the test results!

 

[KatO79]

Yeah I probably should but don't know how to deal with the questions if I suddenly decide I don't want to talk about it anymore My MIL is in some ways the most annoying because she's showing the least amount of understanding (my mom is just being herself so I just try and ignore her). I find it hurtful that she thinks you just have to relax and then you get pregnant. But I think when we tell her my hormones are fine, I'm Oing and my tubes are clear that she thinks it MUST be a psychological thing So she's not taking it seriously It would've been better if e.g. my tubes were blocked because then she'd understand we have an actual physical problem and would understand why it wasn't happening. As it is now, there shouldn't be any problems. So guess she thinks it's silly we very well will be needing IUI and are wasting money and effort when we could just relax and do it naturally for free. We're the first she knows that hasn't gotten pregnant within 3-4 months of trying. Even her mother (DH's grandmother) is showing more understanding and she didn't have problems conceiving her 3 daughters either I don't know why MIL will absolutely refuse to understand but there it is. Maybe I should get DH to talk to her

I wasn't much for helping her but DH let her talk him into it. I think we should tell her that we don't have the time and that she'll just have to re-take her whole semester and learn from it. I was a bit too lazy the 1st semester when I was taking my Bachelors and failed all but 1 class but I learned from it and worked my behind off next semester and ever since. But I was 21 then

Because she can't figure out how to appreciate good guys, she goes for the very hot men that treat her like garbage. Her 2 last boyfriends physically and emotionally abused her She goes for looks. I've tried to tell her that she needs to compromise on the looks department and start finding someone with a good heart but it falls on deaf ears: "But if he's not hot, then I can't be attracted to him" She asked us once if we knew any single guys and we knew only 1. Her first question was if he's hot and when we said no then she wasn't interested at all. She's not very good looking herself and has tons of emotional baggage. So since she'll never find anyone the way she picks them, she was thinking that in 3-4 years time, she'll use a donor but she's not entirely sure yet. As said, she'd be a bad mother. She's too focused on herself and she'd put that child in bad or wrong situaitions.

Hi cutelollie! I don't have any personal experience with those meds. You will probably get a lot of help if you create a thread in the TTC forum. We are all over 30 and trying for number 1 Best of luck to you!

Kat- I would refuse to help her if I were you! That sounds like a high-stress career choice, is she sure it's something she really wants?

Bighouse, I hate that dumb witch

No I don't think she'd be a good engineer and doubts she really understands what the job entails She's too unsure of herself and too lazy. I don't think she could get a job anyway. If I couldn't get a job as an engineer, she won't either. She was also lazy when applying for jobs as well before she decided to try studying for a Bachelors degree. She claims she wants a job but I don't think she really does. She doesn't want to grow up

Kat, I think that the pregnancy we lost was never a baby to DH, he says the next one will be our baby.

I know what you mean when you say that at least if you had a recognized problem, it would be easier for MIL to understand. Can your DH talk to her and tell her that she just puts more pressure on you when she says you just need to relax?!

Your friend sounds very immature for her age, a child is the last thing she needs right now!

That could be as well.

I talked to my DH last night and told him that I find his mother's comments frustrating. That her whole relax theory isn't even true since so many get pregnant under stressful circumstances e.g. rape and famine. He said he'd talk to her but we'll see if he does I think he sees it as his mother trying to be helpful but can see that it's frustrating for me as she's pretty much blaming me. I don't even know where she gets it from that I've been stressed about it from the get go because I haven't. I was getting a bit antsy after 4 months of bfn and concerned at the 6 month mark but it was first when we didn't get pregnant again 2-3 months after my chemical that I started to worry. But I wouldn't say I'm stressed at all, just concerned and a bit frustrated when AF shows up. But if he doesn't talk to her, I may have to because I can't take another "just relax and it'll happen" or "you want it too much, that's why it isn't happening" remark since it upsets me and grates at my otherwise good relationship with her

Yes she's pretty immature. She actually started studying nano technology after High School but didn' follow through despite the fact she considers it an exciting area of study. Don't know why she decided to become a Chemical Engineer as she's so not engineer material Too insecure and her personality doesn't suit that line of work. Lab Tech is a better fit but she was too lazy when applying for jobs and needed to figure something out or she'd be on welfare and having to scoop dog poop and clean the streets for her welfare paychecks.

She has been talking about having 2 children (1 boy and 1 girl) for as long as I've known her. Think she'd be a horrible mother since she's too much of a people pleaser and can't stand if someone doesn't like her. I can just imagine the child wanting an expensive toy, she'd start by saying no, the child would end up saying he/she hates her and she'd immediately cave in and buy it She's currently talking about 1 child now but says she's not 100% sure she'll go with her donor plan in 4 years time. We all only hope she decides to drop having kids. Maybe after I have mine, she'll see how much work it takes and the commitment and decide it isn't for her. But she's constantly talking about how she'll be an aunt for my child and was even volunteering to be the Godmother No way is that happening

I think the problem is her adoptive parents have been over protective because they felt sorry for her since her biological parents abandoned her on the streets when she was 3 years old

 

[bighouse]

Holly- sorry AF came!

Kat- I can relate to your MIL's comments. I don't get them from my MIL per say but I do get them from others (even DH sometimes) about just relaxing and it will happen, stop stressing, etc. Makes things worse because like you said it feels like they are blaming me for being the reason why we haven't had a baby. All I have to do is relax and BAM it will happen, right? Um, no. If that approach was true we would have been pregnant a lot of times in the last 9 years.

AFM doc ran two pregnancy tests yesterday. One quick urine test (in house) which he almost didn't do because he figured it would agree with the tests I did at home- which it did (NEG). But he also ran an extra sensitive quantitative HCG blood test, but it could be tomorrow before results are back (today if I'm lucky).

I really shouldn't be holding out hope- I know in my head that repeated HPT's days after AF was due means no . But my heart is holding onto that shred of hope that a small percentage of women don't get get their BFP until up to a week after AF was due.

But then when I visit Dr Google for reasons of low HSG (if I was pregnant, but not enough HSG to make the HPTs positive) its things like blighted ovum, eptopic pregnancy, etc. Although my doc said that there is a LOT of variance with results in early pregnancy, it could be totally normal to have low HSG now as long as it increases substantially in the coming weeks.

I feel silly hoping, but it's all I have right now! No other idea why AF, who is never late (if she's ever off, it's the opposite, she's early) would be nowhere to be seen. Today is 17dpo and my FMU HPT this morning was another NEG.

 

[bighouse]

Fleur- no I haven't seen that movie, but it sounds interesting! Not sure if I could get DH to watch with me though

MJ- sorry for your spotting! Just keep in mind, from what I read implantation can cause spotting up to 12 days after it happens. I have no idea why there's such a delay. But I'm guessing since you stopped the progesterone AF has come in her full-flow glory now?

 

[alfi924]

Hi all,

I am very new to this site and new to posting about my TTC journey. I have read your entries and feel a sense of relief knowing I am not alone. I recently found out my 3rd IUI was a failed one. I spent all night last night sobbing and asking God why and what did I do wrong?

A little history on my story: My husband and I have been actively trying to conceive for almost 2 years. For the last 18 months, (a few of those months, my gyno said to try the natural way and then we will move on if needed)...well, it was needed. Before we moved on to the Clomid (bleck), we went through every test possible; we both quit smoking, we rarely drank to begin with but now we don't even touch alcohol. Testing included all base line blood tests and everything came back normal, including a "fantastic egg reserve". I've had a Sonohysterogram, an HSG, DH had a SA, and it came back perfect. A Hysteroscopy (when we first started trying) and I go for blood and an ultrasound almost every week for monitoring. There have been no issues with my lining and my tubes are clear. I have also been on Metformin for 7 months. I started out on 1000mg prescribed by my GYN, and now the RE upped it to a therapeutic dose of 1500mg for the last 4 months. Obviously, I take my prenatal and an extra Vitamin D b/c I am slightly deficient. The RE mentioned the possibility of PCOS, but also mentioned it is an unconfirmed diagnosis b/c my tests haven't shown otherwise. Back to my GYN...she prescribed me Clomid for a couple of cycles, but I did not respond well at all (maybe one follicle per cycle). And the side effects, oh man. My husband would run away each week he knew I had to take it. After all the unsuccessful attempts, she recommended me to the specialist. We met our RE at the end of August, and he vowed he would help me. He started me on the Femara and then each cycle, he would add something. 4 months later, 3 doses of Femara (last one being a 7.5mg dose), 3 hCg trigger shots, and this last cycle I did Crinone Progesterone supplements, there has been no luck. 3 failed cycles down, who knows how many to go...

It amazes me to see how you women support each other, & I am looking for something like that. My poor husband does not understand how traumatic this is to me and how it such a blow to the stomach each month. My family as well try real hard to be supportive, but that's easy for them...my mom had 3 girls with no problem and my sisters have 2 kids each and had no issues...I feel like I'm the black sheep of my family and pregnancy has become such a sensitive topic, that no one wants to bring it up. Not to mention, my friends are all starting to pop out kids, with the "oops, it just happened" comment and it makes me want to scream.

I am SO sorry for the long entry...it was my first one, so I am not sure how long these things should be. I look forward to hopefully connecting and being able to vent/share some stories with you.

 

[drjo718]

Welcome, alfi. Sorry to hear about your struggles. There are many supportive women here who can relate.

 

[dede3124]

Thanks all for the permission to vent lol Trying to get back in the mode of 'keep trying' and find something new to try. I did get my CD21 blood work back yesterday and it was 15.23. I don't know much about the numbers, but the nurse said that does mean I am ovulating. Hubby also committed to following through with a SA. I also have CD3 blood work to do. Still looking at past cycles to count how many weren't a good attempt to tell myself it hasn't quite been a year....laughing at myself while doing it cuz I know it's silly. Thinking about going ahead and making an appointment with a specialist even though we haven't had all of our labs done; it may take until March to get one. Part of me says 'slow down and try not to stress about it' and another part says 'you may regret slowing down'. Grrr

 

[KatO79]

Welcome alfi, so sorry to hear your 3rd IUI failed If you don't mind me asking, will you be trying IUI again or moving on to IVF? If I don't get my BFP by the start of January, I'll be staring my 1st IUI. So curious to hear what happens as our RE will be refering us for IVF after 3 failed IUI attempts as there's a 5-6 month waiting period at the hospitals and will be continuing to try IUI in the meantime.

I think a lot of women here, including myself, can sympathize with being surrounded by fertile friends and family that don't understand what we're going through It's absolutely horrible when they silently or not so silently blame us for something we have no control over

Holly- sorry AF came!

Kat- I can relate to your MIL's comments. I don't get them from my MIL per say but I do get them from others (even DH sometimes) about just relaxing and it will happen, stop stressing, etc. Makes things worse because like you said it feels like they are blaming me for being the reason why we haven't had a baby. All I have to do is relax and BAM it will happen, right? Um, no. If that approach was true we would have been pregnant a lot of times in the last 9 years.

AFM doc ran two pregnancy tests yesterday. One quick urine test (in house) which he almost didn't do because he figured it would agree with the tests I did at home- which it did (NEG). But he also ran an extra sensitive quantitative HCG blood test, but it could be tomorrow before results are back (today if I'm lucky).

I really shouldn't be holding out hope- I know in my head that repeated HPT's days after AF was due means no . But my heart is holding onto that shred of hope that a small percentage of women don't get get their BFP until up to a week after AF was due.

But then when I visit Dr Google for reasons of low HSG (if I was pregnant, but not enough HSG to make the HPTs positive) its things like blighted ovum, eptopic pregnancy, etc. Although my doc said that there is a LOT of variance with results in early pregnancy, it could be totally normal to have low HSG now as long as it increases substantially in the coming weeks.

I feel silly hoping, but it's all I have right now! No other idea why AF, who is never late (if she's ever off, it's the opposite, she's early) would be nowhere to be seen. Today is 17dpo and my FMU HPT this morning was another NEG.

Exactly, if relaxing is the magic answer I would've gotten pregnant during my first 4-5 cycles and for most of my cycles since my chemical I don't know where that myth came from but fertile women are sure glad to be sharing their wisdom. Although not much wisdom in how to get pregnant can be acheived if you get pregnant quickly, you're just very fertile and got lucky

So sorry it doesn't look so hopeful. Maybe I missed it but how late is AF? I was like 5 days late back in August (very unusual for me, was only otherwise late during my chemical) and of course negative HPTs until AF did show up It's a cruel joke when AF is late and you only see BFNs Hope you soon get your BFP

 

[crystlmcd]

Welcome alfi. You will find some great supportive ladies in this thread. I hope you get your BFP soon!