Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[dede3124]

Fleur - you can do a baby shower after the babies. That is what we did for my co-worker; waited until after her baby was born so that she would have a better idea of what she needed....and it is fun to have the baby at the shower too lol

 

[Fleur828815]

alfi, we wouldn’t mind if you left us as soon as you joined this group! Fingers crossed for a late implantation which is not showing up yet.

bighouse, your baby shower sounds fun…not! It’s good to be proactive and think ahead, but take things one at a time, don’t lose hope yet. I understand not wanting to go through more procedures but hopefully there might be less invasive help available, like Clomid IF it comes to it.

cutestuff, thankfully we don’t live in the same country anymore, this was a message on a private group on Facebook so I don’t have to listen to her moaning about it. I really don’t mind when my friends complain about their pregnancy niggles usually!
Don’t force yourself if you don’t feel like BDing. When we fight the last thing I want is to be intimate, but it’s horrible when it’s during your fertile period and you “need” him!

dede, thanks for the idea, I might just do that !

 

[dede3124]

It is a tough spot when you argue, or just aren't 'feeling it', but know darn well you are fertile. I flat told hubby at one point....'we should be BDing tonight but you're driving me crazy!' It worked as a good method to get his attention, vent my frustrations, and make us laugh enough to 'get to work'. Totally weird maybe but it seemed to help lol

 

[Mrs. Tigger]

Hi Ladies. I haven't been around for the last couple of weeks really; so busy and so much going on with work. It's going to take me awhile to read up!

But I have what is good news for me: I think is coming!!!

Now I know that's usually bad news when TTC, but my first cycle off of birth control pills was 229 days long. Yes, that really is ~7,5 months. That 229 day cycle ended with a 17 day long period. Today is CD40 and I noticed some spotting today (and have been having some light cramping for the last 2 days). I had what I suspected is ovulation pain (very sharp pain that fits the textbook definition) exactly 2 weeks ago on CD26/27.

If you pretend that my period was only 5 days instead of the 17, I would have ovulated on CD13/14 and, assuming the spotting is actually a sign that AF will come in the next 1-2 days, I would have had just about a "perfect" 28-day cycle.



I have been super, super, super worried about not ovulating (I feel like my periods were irregular with long cycles before going on birth control pills 10 years ago -- oh how I wish I'd paid more attention!). When you are not ovulating, it doesn't even feel like you are TTC because, well, how can you get pregnant if you don't ovulate?!

Right now, my fingers are crossed that comes on full tomorrow or this weekend and DH and I can get on with a month of actually trying. I know I'm not anywhere near out of the woods yet (my periods might still be irregular, we might have other problems conceiving, etc), but genuinely feeling like I might be moving past the first hurdle.

So, I guess for now it's just more

Assuming does come on in the next day or two, I plan to use my Clearblue Fertility Monitor this cycle. It's been sitting in my closet just waiting, but it's useless if your cycles are longer than 35 days. I feel pretty confident that this one would have been well under that if I hadn't started it with 17 days of bleeding.

I haven't read through the posts in the last couple of weeks, but I hope everyone is doing well, and to all of you!

 

[cutestuff]

Mrs. Tigger--Thats great about af and cycles regulating
Dede- yea, joking about it can help, but (and this is horrible to say) we are in a place in our marriage where we have to keep the spark somehow and the decision my husband made was to bd less so there is still spark. In fact, over the weekend I was experiencing some cramps ( I attributed to ovulation) and when my husband asked why I was cramping I told him straight out and did we bd-no... I do think we got in a couple of good bd sessions and we will go again tonight, but I am pretty sure I am already in the tww....I will refuse to test until the 20th though since my last cycle was 4 days late....

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Tigger - so happy that you got AF! We are cycle buddies with bighouse I officially started AF today, so it's CD1 for me. Hope you are on the right track with regular cycles until you get your BFP!

cutestuff, thanks...I do appreciate the suggestions and the embryo adoption sounds like a good idea, but it's still just so COMPLICATED. I just want this to be easy and if it can't be easy, then I'll just be childless and figure out a way to be happy with it (vacations, massages, climbing the career ladder, hanging out with my other childless friends, etc.).

Honestly, I never mentioned this to you all, but I didn't even want kids until I turned 30 (was married a year to DH). We both didn't want kids...but then we decided we wanted more out of life than just relaxing and spending money on ourselves. So I quit my job for one with better work-life balance and we started trying. So I guess the whole "we must have a kid at whatever cost" isn't really us.

Bighouse - I am like you...type A, always has a plan, etc. I think part of the reason that TTC makes me so crazy is because it's the ONE thing that I can't do no matter how hard I try. I put myself through college working two jobs, paying my own rent, etc, got my CPA license, worked my way into a career where I was making great money, got promoted. When I set a goal to pay off $80k of student loans before age 30, I did it by age 28. If I gain a little weight, I hit the gym hard and clean up my diet and BAM - back to being thin/healthy again. Having a baby is the ONE thing I can't seem to do! Anyway, I was looking at adoption sites online too last night! And the wait times are ridiculous....DH was like "I'll be too old by that time!". I think DH is really of the opinion that we can TTC, and if it works in the next year or two - GREAT....he's thrilled. But he doesn't want to go down the rabbit hole of adoption or invasive medical procedures to force us to get pregnant. Probably because he never wanted kids until after we got married. DH will be an awesome dad and he's a wonderful person, but he loves his life without kids too, so he doesn't NEED them.

 

[cutestuff]

That is some real will power. I wish I was able to say the same things about myself. I have my masters and about $70,000 in student loan debt I am not even paying on because we barely make enough to make ends meet. The few times I tried to work in my field, it didn't work (I was fired a couple times) and it turned my husband against it and the other degree I have I don't have a lot of experience with so with this economy there are not many bites....
That said, I always wanted to be a mom, but these last couple of months I have had to think about what it would look like if everyone but me got pregnant or if I never had kids mostly because I don't have the money to consider any of these options and I find myself kind of okay with it because I don't know how secure I would be for my children.
That said, I will keep trying and if in a year or two nothing has changed, we will consider testing and if that doesn't help us figure things out, then I might just have to cope with it. I am feeling more and more like I am getting closer to getting pregnant and that it will happen in the next couple months, but that is most likely wishful thinking....

 

[dede3124]

A bit of a random question for you ladies....seems to be a pretty active thread so I may get responses I am CD3 and noticing that I am bleeding longer/more this cycle. My tempts were not very high and AF was not late. This was my second cycle with acupuncture. Anyone know if acupuncture can cause this?

If it is a chemical pregnancy would it still show on a home test? I know it will sounds a bit crazy but a chemical would be exciting as it would confirm we can at least conceive....13 cycles TTC and nothing....please know I am not making light of other's chemical pregnancies at all!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

A bit of a random question for you ladies....seems to be a pretty active thread so I may get responses I am CD3 and noticing that I am bleeding longer/more this cycle. My tempts were not very high and AF was not late. This was my second cycle with acupuncture. Anyone know if acupuncture can cause this?

If it is a chemical pregnancy would it still show on a home test? I know it will sounds a bit crazy but a chemical would be exciting as it would confirm we can at least conceive....13 cycles TTC and nothing....please know I am not making light of other's chemical pregnancies at all!

If it's a chemical it definitely *could* show up as a faint positive line. I m/c about one week after AF was due and I had a positive pregnancy test the third day of bleeding. If you test, I would use first morning urine...but you can test today too just to see.

Also, yes, acupuncture can make you bleed more/heavier because acupuncture tries to increase the blood supply to your uterus. It did that for me - I had super light/short periods before acupuncture and now they are medium flow for about 3-4 days.

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

That is some real will power. I wish I was able to say the same things about myself. I have my masters and about $70,000 in student loan debt I am not even paying on because we barely make enough to make ends meet. The few times I tried to work in my field, it didn't work (I was fired a couple times) and it turned my husband against it and the other degree I have I don't have a lot of experience with so with this economy there are not many bites....
That said, I always wanted to be a mom, but these last couple of months I have had to think about what it would look like if everyone but me got pregnant or if I never had kids mostly because I don't have the money to consider any of these options and I find myself kind of okay with it because I don't know how secure I would be for my children.
That said, I will keep trying and if in a year or two nothing has changed, we will consider testing and if that doesn't help us figure things out, then I might just have to cope with it. I am feeling more and more like I am getting closer to getting pregnant and that it will happen in the next couple months, but that is most likely wishful thinking....

cutestuff, I was also really lucky that I picked a lucrative career, so I had the money to be able to pay off my loans. It wasn't ALL willpower...I had some luck with having a good income. The willpower came in because I could have spent it on fun stuff and instead I put it 100% towards loans and never did anything fun or treated myself until they were paid off. It was tough, but I am very fortunate and thankful that I've had good opportunities career-wise .

 

[cutestuff]

A bit of a random question for you ladies....seems to be a pretty active thread so I may get responses I am CD3 and noticing that I am bleeding longer/more this cycle. My tempts were not very high and AF was not late. This was my second cycle with acupuncture. Anyone know if acupuncture can cause this?

If it is a chemical pregnancy would it still show on a home test? I know it will sounds a bit crazy but a chemical would be exciting as it would confirm we can at least conceive....13 cycles TTC and nothing....please know I am not making light of other's chemical pregnancies at all!

I have had 2 strange cycles that may help you. In August, I had 9 days of bleeding (4 days of light red/pink spotting and 5 days of regular af). I happened to go to my annual two weeks later and they said it could have been one of two things: either an early loss or a hormonal fluke. Then again last cycle, I was 4 days late and bled an extra day, but there is no way to confirm that as by the time you are bleeding any positive would have disappeared. I was told it was not uncommon to not get positive results as it could be too early to detect or like I already said, too late in the bleeding to detect it....
My normal cycle is between 27-30 days with 4 days of brown spotting before full af starts and my typical af is 4 days long without fail, so it could be anything....

 

[alfi924]

I just watched The Great Sperm Race and I am amazed - never even imagined that...wow. Thank you for posting this Fleur828815!!

Also, side note, guess who made an appearance midway through...yep, the evil

But this is OK. I have decided I am going to go through one more cycle before I take a break. Something keeps telling me to go for it, so I am going to go with my gut.

 

[deafgal01]

I'm with y'alls... The witch showed up this afternoon for me.

 

[alfi924]

It seems like some of us are on the same cycle now - this could be good as we can help each other

 

[Hollynesss]

That is awesome that so many of us are on the same cycle! CD3 for me today as well

Cutestuff- my heart goes out to you so much hearing your story. I'm so sorry that you are in a tough spot with your husband. Even the best relationships have their ups and downs, and you will pull through this Is your husband a strong believer as well? Perhaps praying together and talking it out will help bring things back to center for you. If you talk about things in terms of God and his plans for you, it may make it easier to talk about. I wish you the very best

I have a lot of student loan debt as well, but I just applied for the public service student loan forgiveness program. Pretty much you pay for 10 years, and anything after that is forgiven, but you have to work for a non-profit employer. Thankfully the hospital I work at is non-profit.

A girl I went to high school with just gave birth to twins today. They are fraternal, and the baby girl has Down Syndrome and a heart defect. The baby boy is perfectly healthy. They were delivered at 34+4, and are in the NICU. My heart breaks for her, but she will make a wonderful mother. I couldn't image having twins and having one of them special needs. I know I would work through it just fine, but it has to be stressful.

 

[cutestuff]

Hi Hollyness... No he doesn't believe but he knows I do and ironically we are on the same wavelength when it comes to most things, it just so happens that I have had some bad luck when it comes to my career choice. That said, I signed up for pay as you earn where your payments are based on what you earn and when you are working, which is the same but you pay for 20 years and anything else is forgiven. The bummer about these programs is you have to claim any extra on your taxes as earned income, so it evens out.
Thank you for the wishes. It means a lot...

 

[zen108]

Hi ladies,

Wow, so much happened since my last visit on page 68. And now it's page 78.

I have decided to take a break from TTC, not completely but from talking about it or reading about it or obsessing about it.

And my body has decided to O earlier than last month and DH is still not back from his overseas trip. He is back this Sunday but looks like my egg can't wait for his sperm. So no luck again for me this month.

Sorry to hear that AF came. I was lurking to see if anyone of you got BFP. Hope someone does soon.

I will be away, until probably next year. But will peep on you ladies once in a while.

TTC has been very tiring and stressful for me. It has taken a toll on my life and I felt every single day, I am just reading and researching and blogging about TTC. So, enough is enough. I am pretty fed-up, upset, frustrated and what not with all these.

I want to forget TTC for now on and just get back to a healthier body. Hopefully one day, endometriosis will disappear without any invasive methods. Right now I feel so unhealthy, not sure why. Have cramps here and there, before, during and after period. And now cramps before and during O. And now dizziness and nausea for no reason. And no, not pregnant. I just don't understand what's going on with my body.

Thanks for chatting with me here for the past few months. It has been a great thread and I enjoyed our chats very much.

to all!

 

[KatO79]

Hi ladies,

Wow, so much happened since my last visit on page 68. And now it's page 78.

I have decided to take a break from TTC, not completely but from talking about it or reading about it or obsessing about it.

And my body has decided to O earlier than last month and DH is still not back from his overseas trip. He is back this Sunday but looks like my egg can't wait for his sperm. So no luck again for me this month.

Sorry to hear that AF came. I was lurking to see if anyone of you got BFP. Hope someone does soon.

I will be away, until probably next year. But will peep on you ladies once in a while.

TTC has been very tiring and stressful for me. It has taken a toll on my life and I felt every single day, I am just reading and researching and blogging about TTC. So, enough is enough. I am pretty fed-up, upset, frustrated and what not with all these.

I want to forget TTC for now on and just get back to a healthier body. Hopefully one day, endometriosis will disappear without any invasive methods. Right now I feel so unhealthy, not sure why. Have cramps here and there, before, during and after period. And now cramps before and during O. And now dizziness and nausea for no reason. And no, not pregnant. I just don't understand what's going on with my body.

Thanks for chatting with me here for the past few months. It has been a great thread and I enjoyed our chats very much.

to all!

Awww zen we'll miss you Totally understand what you mean and think it's good you're taking a break. Hope the break helps you and that you soon see your bfp

AFM: Looks like that woman-child will be coming this weekend as DH already had said yes to helping her I just don't see the point No way we can reach to help her get through her whole chemistry pensum, never mind any of her other subjects like Mechanics, basic Chemical Process Engineering, Physical Chemistry (tough subject), Mathematics 1 (includes differential equations) ect. There is one lab subject but I'm assuming she can reach to identify the 3 chemical substances she's been given I thought DH agreed with me when I told him it's not our responsibility and that she needs to just fail her courses and then pull herself together next semester - like I did (although I wasn't as lazy as she has been, pretty far from it but failed all but 1 course anyway). Or just drop this field of study as she's not engineer material, not even a Bachelor engineer I wouldn't call her a stupid person but she's flaky and seems to be more into socializing then studying. Not sure what she'd be good at though but she should be in the Social area and not the Science area.

Not only that, I'll be seeing my insane mother on Tuesday as she wants me to help her buy DH's present at her local mall Here's hoping she behaves reasonably well and isn't too nasty in her comments. So I might not be much on here that day since she also wants to take me out to lunch.

 

[Fleur828815]

You’re welcome alfi, I found it so interesting to watch ! Do go with your instinct and keep trying as long as you feel up for it. It must be so disheartening to get a BFN month after month despite undergoing all these procedures, but we have to keep the end result in sight, just give it our all before making a decision about giving up or not.

Hollyness, that must be quite hard on your friend, happiness at the births mingled with worry about her baby daughter. Apparently heart defects are quite common in babies with Down Syndrome, I hope everything will work out for them.

cutestuff, all relationships go through good and bad times. Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Although if he’s like my DH, he’ll just get irritated and won’t understand what I’m trying to say!

zen, so sorry that such weird things are happening with your body. It’s a good idea to take a break and focus on other things for a while, just let go of all the obsession and frustration. Thank you so much for your support. I hope you’ll be checking in soon with good news, I wish you all the best!

Kat, fun days ahead again! If I were you I’d pretend to be sick and hole up in bed while your friend is here… So mean but is she really going to pass even if you help her a couple of weekends? I hope your mom will behave on Tuesday!

I’ve used an OPK strip for the first time today (CD 13 though) and it’s negative. Feeling so discouraged, I’m sure my cycles will be messed up after the miscarriage. Wishing so hard for a few Christmas BFPs in this group, that would cheer me up!

 

[KatO79]

You’re welcome alfi, I found it so interesting to watch ! Do go with your instinct and keep trying as long as you feel up for it. It must be so disheartening to get a BFN month after month despite undergoing all these procedures, but we have to keep the end result in sight, just give it our all before making a decision about giving up or not.

Hollyness, that must be quite hard on your friend, happiness at the births mingled with worry about her baby daughter. Apparently heart defects are quite common in babies with Down Syndrome, I hope everything will work out for them.

cutestuff, all relationships go through good and bad times. Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Although if he’s like my DH, he’ll just get irritated and won’t understand what I’m trying to say!

zen, so sorry that such weird things are happening with your body. It’s a good idea to take a break and focus on other things for a while, just let go of all the obsession and frustration. Thank you so much for your support. I hope you’ll be checking in soon with good news, I wish you all the best!

Kat, fun days ahead again! If I were you I’d pretend to be sick and hole up in bed while your friend is here… So mean but is she really going to pass even if you help her a couple of weekends? I hope your mom will behave on Tuesday!

I’ve used an OPK strip for the first time today (CD 13 though) and it’s negative. Feeling so discouraged, I’m sure my cycles will be messed up after the miscarriage. Wishing so hard for a few Christmas BFPs in this group, that would cheer me up!

The problem is she'll be here most of the dayI'm guessing she'll come at 3 PM and stay until 11 PM or maybe even close to 1 AM Knowing her, she'll probably also keep coming into the bedroom and offering me food, tea and whatever so playing sick isn't an option Then there's also dinner time where I'd have to come out and eat. She'll probably also want to see a film or TV-series after dinner as well. The only series that interests her is "OUAT" ("Once Upon A Time", which I like too), nothing else even though we've tried some more serious stuff like "The Tudors." She saw 2 episodes and then didn't want to see any more so DH and I saw it alone. The same goes for movies. She only watches fantasy stuff (not that there's anything wrong with fantasy since I like the genre too, just it's the only thing she's interested in) and doesn't watch the news or anything and has no idea what's going on in the world. She's such a child

Nope, she won't Which is why I told DH we should tell her we can't reach to help her (because she's been lazy from day 1) and that she'll just have to do what she can at the exams (which will be failing miserably) and take the courses over next semester. But DH is too darn nice and can't seem to tell her so he just agreed to help anyway Not entirely sure when she has exams but it must be soon and next weekend we won't have the time as we'll be Christmas shopping all day Saturday and will want Sunday to ourselves. Will definitely be telling DH to tell her no for next weekend or he knows how I'll be when he doesn't listen and I'm insisting on boundaries We'll have to tell her she needs to work hard next semester and start a study group with her classmates so she can get help and help others.

Thanks, I hope my NPD mother behaves as well, we'll see

Awww sorry Fleur When did you normally O before the M/C? Hopefully you soon get a positive OPK