Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[deafgal01]

Good luck to you, mind.

de- I see the other ladies already explained about the vitamins. Yes it helps but it doesn't do much for conceiving, it just helps with baby development when you're pregnant.

 

[waterbaby33]

I'm 37 and my husband is 35. We've been NTNP for 4 months now and this is the first month actually TTC. Currently in the TWW. Good luck to all... wish me luck too!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Looks like we have quite a few ladies in the his thread now. Hoping for at least one BFP this month!! We are due!

 

[Hollynesss]

Welcome, ireadyermind and waterbaby!

ireadyermind- I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis That had to be scary! Sending you tons of and hoping you conceive quickly with no issues

 

[Fleur828815]

MrsTigger, did AF show up ? Glad that your cycle seems to be shorter. I used to get that brownish discharge (enough to need a panty liner) from 2 to 4 days before AF.

deafgal, this is the first time I’ve read that if AF comes after 6pm then the next day counts as CD1 !

Kat, we’ll be optimistic for you, I know I never am for myself. Did you manage to talk to DH? It sounds like he doesn’t want to offend his mom. I hate spending time with friends like yours, no wonder you wanted to smack her with your book! Tell your DH that he shouldn’t be wasting his (and your) time since her priority doesn’t seem to be her studies.

Good luck for this cycle MJs! Does drinking water really help with CM? I usually drink quite a lot but I’m as dry as the desert this month  CD15 yesterday and my OPK was still negative, I’m wondering if I’m actually going to ovulate at all.

dede, my doctor said that if you eat fairly healthily there’s no need to take prenatals, he just prescribed daily folic acid. It’s best to start a couple of months before you TTC. This month I’m also starting prenatal vitamins though.

crystlmcd, hope you’ll get your BFP just in time for Christmas but if not, I totally get not wanting to temp etc. while you’re away.

Welcome ireadyermind. So sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. Hoping that TTC will not be as hard as you expect it to be and that you’ll be getting a BFP very soon.

Hi waterbaby, good luck with TTC!

 

[KatO79]

Kat, we’ll be optimistic for you, I know I never am for myself. Did you manage to talk to DH? It sounds like he doesn’t want to offend his mom. I hate spending time with friends like yours, no wonder you wanted to smack her with your book! Tell your DH that he shouldn’t be wasting his (and your) time since her priority doesn’t seem to be her studies.

Thanks Fleur Think I'll first start being more optimistic when we start IUI

I told him last night like 5 seconds after she walked out that door (thank god she didn't want to sleep on our couch!) that I thought we agreed that it was a waste of time helping her as she won't pass anyway. He said he didn't actually agreed to help those 2 days, just that it was a possibility I don't see the difference So I'm trying to get him to say no to both days because he's talking about maybe halping her 1 day and that's it. He's too nice sometimes It was late so I didn't want to get into a long conversation so I'll be trying again tonight.

Speaking of her sleeping on our couch sometimes, I remember months ago after we started TTCing that we needed her to leave after a visit as we needed to BD that night. She really wanted to sleep on our couch and we ended up telling her that we needed to BD because I was soon Oing, hoping she'd get the hint. Our apartment isn't that big and she would be able to hear us. Her answer: "I don't mind" said in her innocent baby voice She's so inappropriate sometimes

Another problem is DH and I are going to have a little Christmas luncheon at our place the 20th. Our friend from Mexico (he married a Mexican girl a few years ago and moved there but it didn't work out as they divorced) who's soon moving to Spain is coming and he's bringing his new girlfriend (a Mexican). It'll be so awkward meeting her for the 1st time and having this woman-child at the luncheon, I'm sure she'll embarass us with her childish ways Not only that, it'll be otherwise DH's closer male friends (some with girlfriends that are also invited) who are all childless by the way (as the ones with kids avoid us) coming and she's the odd one out. So hoping she gets a bad cold or something and can't come Don't know why DH mentioned this luncheon other than the woman-child mentioned she really wanted to go to one with us. He can't keep his mouth shut and just say we'll be busy going to some and can't take her with us

She's also starting to talk about us 3 going on a summer vacation next year So need to be preggo so I have an excuse that we can't travel much. She has no sense of boundaries, inviting herself to all sorts of things and wanting to vacation with us. I remember her wanting to go on our ski trip a couple of years ago. I, by the way, first started learning to ski about 6-7 years ago as DH's family love to ski and DH has been skiing since he was a small child. I am up to the red slopes and have yet to try a black one. I asked her if she could ski and she said no. So I said if she was coming she'd need to go to a ski school and that we normally go on the red slopes (which can be pretty difficult in France) and we'd be picking her up all the time because she said skiing on red slopes was fine with her. She said that would be no problem... for her. Not caring how annoying it'd be for us. We luckily got her to not go, mentioning the cost of ski clothes and rental of boots and skis (she thought she could borrow some of my clothes, not thinking I don't have enough for both her and me plus she's bigger than me) but wow

 

[Ms Elizabeth]

Just checking in on you ladies. I see some new ladies! Welcome and sending you all tons of

the holidays are approaching, however you might celebrate. stay positive and lets see bring you ladies some :BFP:!!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Fleur - I read somewhere that drinking lots of water helps the body create more CM because if you are dehydrated the CM will dry up....I don't know if it really works, but I did notice that I hardly had any after Napa - I'm sure I wasn't as hydrated as usual with all of the wine I had! Waiting to ovulate is so boring! Are you trying this month or still preventing?

Kat - wow, that girl sounds like a total weirdo! She doesn't mind hearing you two DTD....I would have been like "yeah, well I mind!" Sheesh - talk about someone that can't take a hint! Just curious, but why bother having this "friend" if she is so annoying? Life is too short to hang around irritating people! I say let this one go.

I'm wondering if I should drop the prenatals and just take extra folic acid. I have a doctor appointment on Friday so I'll ask my OB what he thinks. I've been taking prenatals for a year now. I added the concentrated form of CoQ10 last month for good egg health, and just upped my dose to 200mg per day which is what is advised in a book a skimmed about improving egg health for fertility. That supplement is supposed to take at least 3 months to start working, though, so I've still got a few cycles to see the impact.

I am feeling really optimistic about next year...I have to keep repeating it so that I don't forget to be positive! I can't explain why, after 8 failed cycles (if you count the miscarriage), I believe any of cycle #s 9-20 could possibly work, but I think at least one of my cycles over the next year will result in my take home baby. I can't give up hope yet.

 

[KatO79]

Fleur - I read somewhere that drinking lots of water helps the body create more CM because if you are dehydrated the CM will dry up....I don't know if it really works, but I did notice that I hardly had any after Napa - I'm sure I wasn't as hydrated as usual with all of the wine I had! Waiting to ovulate is so boring! Are you trying this month or still preventing?

Kat - wow, that girl sounds like a total weirdo! She doesn't mind hearing you two DTD....I would have been like "yeah, well I mind!" Sheesh - talk about someone that can't take a hint! Just curious, but why bother having this "friend" if she is so annoying? Life is too short to hang around irritating people! I say let this one go.

I'm wondering if I should drop the prenatals and just take extra folic acid. I have a doctor appointment on Friday so I'll ask my OB what he thinks. I've been taking prenatals for a year now. I added the concentrated form of CoQ10 last month for good egg health, and just upped my dose to 200mg per day which is what is advised in a book a skimmed about improving egg health for fertility. That supplement is supposed to take at least 3 months to start working, though, so I've still got a few cycles to see the impact.

I am feeling really optimistic about next year...I have to keep repeating it so that I don't forget to be positive! I can't explain why, after 8 failed cycles (if you count the miscarriage), I believe any of cycle #s 9-20 could possibly work, but I think at least one of my cycles over the next year will result in my take home baby. I can't give up hope yet.

Yes drinking water helps CM, I make sure to keep hydrated. Think I read that CM is 90% water so it makes sense

Yes she has no boundaries. Think it's her parents fault, they sound like really hippy parents. She was less annoying when she had a live in boyfriend and had her trainee job. I would maybe hear from her 1 a month which was ok because she can be nice and fun in small doses. Now that her abusive boyfriend dumped her (because she couldn't dump him) and the trainee postion ended, she has too much free time on her hands since she's not taking her studies seriously. I've been wanting to cut way down on how much we see her at least as we won't have all that time when the baby is a reality. But DH is too nice and she contacts him mostly because she has found that out. I think my other issue is I don't really have any friends of my own other than her and it's so incredibley difficult to make friends in this country when you haven't grown up here as you can see from my previous posts. My only hope for finding friends now (since I'm a housewife) is when I have a baby (as most people my age have children and would much rather befriend other women with kids and avoid the childless) and when I can start volunteering at an animal shelter but it's not a sure thing.

Hope the supplements work and you get your bfp soon

 

[bighouse]

My two cents about vitamins... I don't think the "just eat well and you don't need vitamins" approach will work in today's day and age, because even the "good" food we eat is likely depleted of vitamins (due to factory farming, animals that never see the light of day, soil that is depleted of minerals, etc). Since we are TTC I would not risk it... safer to just but some prenatal vitamins and know your bases are covered.

Some regular multivitamins have too little, or too much, of certain components. It's not just the folic acid. So it's best to stick with one formulated as prenatal.

That being said, all prenatals are not created equal. One of the biggest differences is in the folic acid. Folic acid is just the synthetic form of folate. Folate is what you need to help prevent nueral tube birth defects like spina bifida. However, some women (up to 40% according to some studies) cannot process folic acid (the synthetic form of folate) and so it does not get absorbed by their bodies, and can build up and prevent other body processes (methylation) from working properly. Another "symptom" for women who have this issue (called MTHFR) is miscarriage (often recurring).

I get so frustrated that vitamin manufacturers are STILL using folic acid, when if they just switch to a different form of folate (typically methylfolate) then practically all women could absorb the folate.

So I'd highly recommend you use prenatals with folate (methylfolate) not folic acid. And for any ladies who have had a miscarriage, I'd highly recommend you get tested for MTHFR, since if you do there are other things your doctor can do to hopefully reduce your chances of having another miscarriage.

 

[Fleur828815]

Hmm yes, it makes sense that CM would be made up of mostly water and staying hydrated would help with that. I'll up my water intake.

MJs, I guess wine doesn't help with then I wanted to start trying again this month but I'm so worried it's an annovulatory cycle. CD 16 today, OPK still negative. I was so hoping I would be one of those who fall pregnant straight after a miscarriage.
Let us know what the doctor says about the supplements. I'm so glad you're feeling optimistic about next year, I really hope you'll be getting that BFP !

Kat, I second what MJs said, I would so want to ditch that friend but I know how hard it is to meet other friends. You just need to see her in very small doses! Hopefully you'll be making mommy friends next year.

bighouse, wow, you sound so well informed, thanks for all that info. You're right, the food we eat is not as healthy as we think it is. Unfortunately my doctor won't do any tests unless I've had several miscarriages (he won't even do a blood test to check my hCG / progesterone levels next time I'm pregnant) and I'm not sure methylfolate is available in my country. I'l try to find out.

Just had to share this. I had a very close friend who I've known for 15 years. He got married last year to a girl I'd only met once for a few minutes (because she's very possessive, automatically hated all his female friends and refused to meet me). Since the wedding I've never met him (he lives about 5 minutes away) and he hasn't kept in touch but I was expecting it. Recently, right around the time I was going through my miscarriage, he texted me to inform me they are expecting a baby, I texted back and didn't hear from him again. Last Friday, he texted again to say "I dreamt of you, you had a big belly, good news for you too!!! We're having a baby boy". So weird. Texted back to say congrats and told him about the miscarriage. He's just replied saying "Sorry to hear that. These things are so volatile. X is at 6 months in a few days. How's work going? And DH?"
I'm so shocked... these things are so volatile! And then telling me his wife is at 6 months.. I don't care, I'm never going to meet that baby. I can't believe we used to be so close and now it's come to this.

 

[dede3124]

Thanks for the input on the vitamins. I tend to believe that trying to eat what we need is better as our bodies are kinda designed to get nutrition that way. I wonder how much I would have to eat to get the recommended amounts though!?! Will see....looks like I have a little research to do. Good luck to all! And fingers crossed!

 

[KatO79]

Hmm yes, it makes sense that CM would be made up of mostly water and staying hydrated would help with that. I'll up my water intake.

MJs, I guess wine doesn't help with then I wanted to start trying again this month but I'm so worried it's an annovulatory cycle. CD 16 today, OPK still negative. I was so hoping I would be one of those who fall pregnant straight after a miscarriage.
Let us know what the doctor says about the supplements. I'm so glad you're feeling optimistic about next year, I really hope you'll be getting that BFP !

Kat, I second what MJs said, I would so want to ditch that friend but I know how hard it is to meet other friends. You just need to see her in very small doses! Hopefully you'll be making mommy friends next year.

bighouse, wow, you sound so well informed, thanks for all that info. You're right, the food we eat is not as healthy as we think it is. Unfortunately my doctor won't do any tests unless I've had several miscarriages (he won't even do a blood test to check my hCG / progesterone levels next time I'm pregnant) and I'm not sure methylfolate is available in my country. I'l try to find out.

Just had to share this. I had a very close friend who I've known for 15 years. He got married last year to a girl I'd only met once for a few minutes (because she's very possessive, automatically hated all his female friends and refused to meet me). Since the wedding I've never met him (he lives about 5 minutes away) and he hasn't kept in touch but I was expecting it. Recently, right around the time I was going through my miscarriage, he texted me to inform me they are expecting a baby, I texted back and didn't hear from him again. Last Friday, he texted again to say "I dreamt of you, you had a big belly, good news for you too!!! We're having a baby boy". So weird. Texted back to say congrats and told him about the miscarriage. He's just replied saying "Sorry to hear that. These things are so volatile. X is at 6 months in a few days. How's work going? And DH?"
I'm so shocked... these things are so volatile! And then telling me his wife is at 6 months.. I don't care, I'm never going to meet that baby. I can't believe we used to be so close and now it's come to this.

Thanks, I hope so I'll just try and see her even less than we've been doing until now. But i can imagine when I'm pregnant I'll be high on hormones and snap at her one day so who knows, maybe it'll end one day. She's also talking about being an honorary aunt for the baby "It'll be so great when you have the baby and I'll be Aunt (insert her name here)"

Sorry about your friend, I know something about things like that. My cousin married a pretty possesive woman as well and now no one really hears from him He didn't come to my brother's wedding about 10 years ago and he didn't come to my wedding either back in 2009 because his wife hates our family and wants him to socialize with her family only. It was worse for my brother because he wanted him as his best man so had to choose one of his close male friends instead. Such a sad situation when this happens.

Your friend's wife sounds like the jealous type though when she took an instant dislike to his female friends. That relationship probably won't last as she 's probably keeping a tight leash on him and one day, he will be gone when he's tired of it. I'm sure she's happy about being pregnant so she can hold on to him for longer. Poor baby being born under those circumstances He probably didn't know what to say about your miscarriage and so something stupid came out. I think sometimes people don't know what to say when tragedies strike. Think part of the problem is the modern world and how people are being raised. But some just lack tact. He probably didn't want to talk too much about it so as not to upset you and just quickly changed topic for that reason. People sometimes also get caught up in their own lives so he probably thought you'd be interested in his wife's pregnancy since it's his child and I'm sure he's excited about being a father.

I don't know, maybe you could try telling him that you found his comment hurtful? I can see it's difficult as he's not even supposed to be talking to you. But maybe he's starting to see his mistake in letting his friends go and the marriage isn't going so well so he's starting to reach out. I wouldn't know what to do in your situation but I guess it depends on if you want to keep contact with him this way or tell him that you don't want to be secret friends

Thanks for the input on the vitamins. I tend to believe that trying to eat what we need is better as our bodies are kinda designed to get nutrition that way. I wonder how much I would have to eat to get the recommended amounts though!?! Will see....looks like I have a little research to do. Good luck to all! And fingers crossed!

I kind of agree with you but unfortunately humans evolved when we were hunting ourselves and living off the land. Now our food is sprayed and pumped with chemicals and the animals people eat are being kept in less than ideal conditions so our foods isn't as healthy as it was back then. So think it's a good idea to take vitamins to be sure you're getting what you need. I did find a list however on which foods contain folate if you're interested in trying to get it naturally:

https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/healthfiles/hfile68g.stm

 

[cutestuff]

Welcome newbies. Ireadyermind- I am so sorry about your diagnosis. Hopefully you get your bfp soon.
I am not sure where I am in my cycle but I will say that I am hopeful-ish. I have been getting massive acid reflux almost every time I eat, which is not normal for me especially since I do not eat many spicy foods. As for cm- I have noticed, when I drink at least 64 oz (2 water bottles) of water per day that I tend to see an increase in cm around my ovulation. I think water is vital to the process, but nothing is guaranteed to help.
I also wanted to weigh on the vitamins. I personally choose to use only folic acid (400 mg) as the vitamin I take. This is for two reasons, 1) I can't spend a lot of money on TTC- which is why I don't use opks or temp- and the folic acid I can find for 3.00 whereas the prenatal vitamins are more like 20 and in some ways I agree with dede. 2) right now, I am not pregnant and while I would change to a prenatal vitamin at the first site of a positive test, the more important vitamin to have built up in your system is the folic acid.
Dede- I think nutrition is a big part of life but that there are going to be some supplements you will never eat enough to get the minimum requirement of. If you want to go that route, I would recommend lean meat (no or less steak and no shell fish), green leafy veggies (organic is best) and make sure you use juices not from concentrate and whole milk as these will be the best sources of the vitamins you need. Good luck to all and I will keep you posted on my tww.

 

[Fleur828815]

Thanks Kat. Sorry to hear the same thing happened with your cousin.

There's no way that girl will ever let go of him! Not that I have any reason to believe he's not happy (although when he texted to announce her pregnancy, he also said they were doing better after the usual up and downs - less than 6 months after the wedding). I will tell him that I found his comment hurtful, wish him all the best and then just write this "friendship" off. I'm not interested in sneaking around behind her back like we did before they got married (I was already married then but she still refused to meet me or let him see me).

Your friend will probably run away when you ask "dear Auntie" to babysit or change nappies! Anyway I'm sure she'll reduce contact when she sees you're not so available when the baby's here.

Thanks for the list. This whole vitamins / no vitamins thing is such a minefield! I think I'll stick to folic acid and do some more research. Unless anyone knows of something which can make me ovulate!

cutestuff, fingers crossed for you! I've heard of acid reflux as a symptom.

 

[Hollynesss]

Hey ladies- I need to go back a few pages to catch up, but I just wanted to tell you all about my appointment today with the new gynecologist. She specializes in fertility issues, and I absolutely LOVE her!! The most important thing she told me: even though my cycles have come at regular intervals over the years, they are still not "normal", the length is a few days too long. She set my husband up to get a semen analysis, and I have a long list of blood work I will be getting done tomorrow, including a 3 hour GTT to look for any insulin issues. I was bummed to hear that what I thought were regular cycles are not actually regular, but she assured me that we will figure it out together, we will treat it together, and hopefully we will conceive in 2-3 cycles of treatment. She was so nice and wonderful, and she made me feel very confident that we're getting the best help out there

 

[Fleur828815]

Hey ladies- I need to go back a few pages to catch up, but I just wanted to tell you all about my appointment today with the new gynecologist. She specializes in fertility issues, and I absolutely LOVE her!! The most important thing she told me: even though my cycles have come at regular intervals over the years, they are still not "normal", the length is a few days too long. She set my husband up to get a semen analysis, and I have a long list of blood work I will be getting done tomorrow, including a 3 hour GTT to look for any insulin issues. I was bummed to hear that what I thought were regular cycles are not actually regular, but she assured me that we will figure it out together, we will treat it together, and hopefully we will conceive in 2-3 cycles of treatment. She was so nice and wonderful, and she made me feel very confident that we're getting the best help out there

Oh that sounds like a great appointment, so glad that you clicked with the doctor. Yeah it must be disappointing to learn that your cycles aren't really regular but it's reassuring when you have a doctor who's so confident she can help you And she's already got the ball rolling!

 

[KatO79]

Thanks Kat. Sorry to hear the same thing happened with your cousin.

There's no way that girl will ever let go of him! Not that I have any reason to believe he's not happy (although when he texted to announce her pregnancy, he also said they were doing better after the usual up and downs - less than 6 months after the wedding). I will tell him that I found his comment hurtful, wish him all the best and then just write this "friendship" off. I'm not interested in sneaking around behind her back like we did before they got married (I was already married then but she still refused to meet me or let him see me).

Your friend will probably run away when you ask "dear Auntie" to babysit or change nappies! Anyway I'm sure she'll reduce contact when she sees you're not so available when the baby's here.

Thanks for the list. This whole vitamins / no vitamins thing is such a minefield! I think I'll stick to folic acid and do some more research. Unless anyone knows of something which can make me ovulate!

cutestuff, fingers crossed for you! I've heard of acid reflux as a symptom.

Yes it doesn't sound like the marriage is going so well if they're already having issues during the honeymoon phase I think you're making the right decision if she's never going to let you have your friendship. It might even cause extra drama in his marriage. Some women are just unreasonably jealous, I'm sure it'll drive him away in the end. A pity he'll have lost friendships over this relationship but he should've been smart enough to have ended it when he saw how insanely jealous his girlfriend was.

I'm not sure asking her to babysit will help as she has babysat before many times so I'm sure she's used to it Unless it's only been small children and no babies, I actually don't know for sure. Only that she has babysat before many times. One can hope but she might cause drama over it and say she can't understand why I have less time because of the baby

I'll stick to my pregnancy vitamins myself (they don't sell prenatals in this country) to make sure I'm getting what I need and don't have to plan my meals so much, not to mention so I'm less of a pain at parties and other occasions. Some people (mostly my mother but also MIL to a certain degree) feel my pescetarian diet is a pain. Not sure what you can take to make you O. Maybe I'll do some internet searching and see if I can find anything

Yes acid reflux can be a symptom but I've had it on bfn cycles as well so I don't normally read too much into it during the 2WW unless it's especially bad. Guess it depends on if it's very unusual for you cutestuff which it sounds like it is. Here's hoping

Great to hear that you found a great gynecologist Hollynesss Too bad your cycles aren't as regular as you thought but great that she's going to help you and sounds so optimistic. I feel the same way about our fertility clinic and RE so I know how important it is to feel this way. Hope you soon get your bfp

 

[cutestuff]

Hollyness- thats fantastic- not that you have irregular regular cycles, but that your doc thinks she can get you a bfp in a few months after treatment. that means maybe you will be getting on of the first bfps of the new year.........
I too have heard of acid reflux as a symptom but since it started during my last af and I don't know when I ovulated due to inconsistent cm, I am not getting my hopes up until the monday/tuesday before christmas as it will then be 14 days plus past the last possible date of ovulation- theoretically.........

 

[cutestuff]

Can I join? Not quite 30 (b-day is Tuesday) and I get the wonderful gift of af on my b-day. I am so irritated because like many of you, I have been trying for 5 cycles (though good timing in only 3). I was so sure this was going to be the cycle as I typically get spotting before my period shows and I had nothing until today, which is the expected start of my period. Took 2 tests just to make sure and both were negative so I am pretty sure that is accurate since most people get positive results by 13-14 dpo (not sure entirely because I could have miscalculated). I thought our timing was perfect this month and I am so tired of hearing about pregnancies the first try when its going on the 6th month of trying (4 th month of active) and I haven't been on any type of birth control in 5.5 years (using natural planning and withdrawal- Who knew that works).......

Hey cutestuff! U sound exactly like me but I've been trying for 6 months now and no luck : ( but I was on the pill for 3 years..
I refer to myself as a lemon lol joking.. I shouldn't say that but I think joking with my husband makes it abit easier lol feel free to private msg me and we can chat. I'm also open to a good quality face book friend at the moment that can relate to me.. None of my friends are currently preggers or trying that I can open up to.
Looking forward to hearing from you 😊.
Amanda

I somehow forgot about this, but I would love to connect. That is if you are still trying....