Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Hollynesss]

MJ-

You aren't out yet, love! Once your new OB analyzes your results, there are things you can do to get pregnant that do not involve donor egg or ivf. There are medications you can take that will produce a stronger ovulation (i.e. Clomid), and can even out your hormones to get your cycle on better track. I have the same fears that you do, and I'm terrified to find out my lab results, but my OB really reassured me that there are things that can be done, and not to worry or give up hope. I hope that you get some good answers. In the least, it sounds like you are in good hands. Keep us updated, love!

 

[drjo718]

Mj, so sorry you are going thru such a rough time. Don't give up hope, like pp said, there may be other additional options you can try.

Afm, a FOURTH day of flashing smiley today grrrrr. I took ic opks throughout the day yesterday bc I thought my surge was approaching, and the darkest one was last night. It still wasn't darker than the control line, but mine never are. Now today the line is lighter. Is it possible to not have a strong enough surge to get a solid smiley on the cb?

 

[KatO79]

Mj, so sorry you are going thru such a rough time. Don't give up hope, like pp said, there may be other additional options you can try.

Afm, a FOURTH day of flashing smiley today grrrrr. I took ic opks throughout the day yesterday bc I thought my surge was approaching, and the darkest one was last night. It still wasn't darker than the control line, but mine never are. Now today the line is lighter. Is it possible to not have a strong enough surge to get a solid smiley on the cb?

I don't know about the cb as I haven't tried it

But with OPKs, it's positive if the line is as dark or darker than the control. So were any of your OPK test lines as dark as the control? Because that's considered a positive result

 

[cutestuff]

Mj I am soooo sorry. It is a hard choice to make but you have to do what is right for you. Af made herself known this am. 4 days early so not sure Whats up with that. Come on 2015. I know my bfp is waitining there for me.

 

[drjo718]

here are the opks up til last night. They never get much darker than that when I have ovulated.

 

[KatO79]

Mj I am soooo sorry. It is a hard choice to make but you have to do what is right for you. Af made herself known this am. 4 days early so not sure Whats up with that. Come on 2015. I know my bfp is waitining there for me.

Are you sure it's AF? Could be IB

AFM I'm of course out when it comes to a 2014 bfp since if I do get pregnant this cycle, I can first test around January 6th. Worst thing is I can't really drink New Year's Eve since it'd be too early to test and I wouldn't want to get drunk and find out I'm pregnant about 1 week later

 

[Mrs. Tigger]

Hi Everyone!

Just checking in

I was hoping to see some good news on this thread. Someone's time has *got* to be coming around soon.

I rang to the doctor yesterday and explained the weird bleeding I had that started last week. The doctor actually thinks it sounded like ovulation bleeding. I had never heard of this, but I read up on it, and apparently it's a thing. The description of bleeding during ovulation on this website, for example, seems to be more or less exactly what I had: https://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Bleeding_During_Ovulation. I noticed during that time I also had a *lot* of CM (and normally I'm quite dry -- sorry if TMI), and my cervix was quite soft. I've gone back to being quite dry now, as well. I also took an OPK last weekend (right after most of the spotting happened), and then one this week and one more today -- they went from having two lines last weekend (but the second line def. not darker than the first, so not positive), to having only a super, super faint line a couple days later, then today I couldn't see a second line at all. If OPKs progress from completely negative, to positive right before O, then progress back to completely negative (only 1 line), then I guess it could make sense. I have no idea, really

I'm supposed to just wait and see what happens; I have an appointment with the gyno on Jan. 20th to discuss fertility issues (in particular, my doctor wants to have my ovaries scanned to rule out PCOS because of the long cycles).

If they are right about the spotting being ovulation spotting, I would be somewhere around 7 DPO today, and I should expect AF around next Saturday if not pregnant. We did BD every other day leading up to the bleeding, and at least once during, and once right after (I try to make sure we BD every 1-2 days just because I have no clue what my body is doing -- sometimes we only make it every 3 days). But despite this, I'm not optimistic.

I might take a hpt next Saturday if no sign of AF -- I haven't decided yet. The disappointment is just becoming so freaking hard to take. I try to be really positive, but I'm becoming more and more disheartened. I do a great job of acting like I'm calm and nothing is really a big deal in front of my DH, but the truth is that my biggest fear is that I'll never have children. I have no idea why my body isn't "normal". I'm overweight as well (although I'm losing weight successfully), and I'm scared that I'm too overweight for anyone to care about helping me (I'm afraid of just being told to lose weight and that it will fix everything). It makes me so angry that so many people get pregnant on accident and I waited so long, and ignored my desire to be a mother for so long so that I could do it the "right" way, and now I get this. I don't even want a big family. I don't care if I had a boy or a girl. I just want one healthy baby. Just one.

Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest. I don't rant very often...I try really hard to be positive, but I know you all have experienced similar feelings and can understand.

cutestuff: Sorry that came for you. Maybe just try to look at every cycle as a fresh start, out of the TWW limbo and ready to start again.

djro718: I have no clue about the OPKs, but if I were you I think I would just try to plenty.

MJsBabyShaw: I hope that you do get that miracle BFP somehow...or maybe that your DH will come around on the IVF thing? I too have been thinking about the path to coming to terms with being childless. But I hope that is not the future for either of us.

Kat079: I hope the IUI is just what you need and it sees you graduating from this thread by the end of January. Good Luck.

 

[ireadyermind]

It makes me so angry that so many people get pregnant on accident and I waited so long, and ignored my desire to be a mother for so long so that I could do it the "right" way, and now I get this. I don't even want a big family. I don't care if I had a boy or a girl. I just want one healthy baby. Just one.

OMG, I can completely relate to you on this one! Both of my sisters got pregnant by accident (my middle sister has THREE accidental babies), both living in poverty, and here I am TTC on purpose without much luck. DH and I waited until we were done with college, had good jobs, a home with plenty of space for offspring, our bills under control, decent health insurance, and a small savings account started so that when we did decide to have a baby, we would be able to support it and ourselves without much hardship.

It makes me think to myself, "Why did I bother with birth control all those years if I wasn't going to be able to get pregnant in the first place?"

If we don't get a BFP by June, I'm demanding ovary scans and bloodwork from my new OB/GYN. My previous one used to say to me (when I'd ask about my 45 day cycles and AF lasting for ten days) that "these things just happen sometimes" and was very reluctant to troubleshoot ANYTHING with me. One month, AF lasted for 35 days. I got another "Yeah, that happens sometimes" response from her. UGH. The new one seems much better.



If you have an OB/GYN that is willing to work with you to get things functioning how they should be, I think that's half the battle! Someone who is understanding and as interested in your fertility as you are is a rarity!

I wish you piles and piles of baby dust! And success on your weight loss journey! I'm also trying to lose weight, because I know that that's one of the first things I'm going to be told if I go in for fertility issues, so I might as well get a head start. Anyway some ladies I talked to swear that their weight loss put their bodies into "Baby making mode" and they got pregnant quickly after that. Who knows?

Also I have a weight loss buddy/group thread started (see my signature!) if you want some support and comradeship in that department. So far there are two of us working together and we'd certainly welcome more!

 

[Mrs. Tigger]

I wish you piles and piles of baby dust! And success on your weight loss journey! I'm also trying to lose weight, because I know that that's one of the first things I'm going to be told if I go in for fertility issues, so I might as well get a head start. Anyway some ladies I talked to swear that their weight loss put their bodies into "Baby making mode" and they got pregnant quickly after that. Who knows?

Also I have a weight loss buddy/group thread started (see my signature!) if you want some support and comradeship in that department. So far there are two of us working together and we'd certainly welcome more!

Thanks! The weight loss is going well so far. Since I had a Dr. suspect PCOS, I have been following a low-GI diet (since that's commonly a treatment for PCOS), and boy, has it been working (in combination with calorie counting). In fact, I think I might just go add a weight loss ticker to my signature. The weight loss journey gives me something else to focus on when TTC.

I have problems with long cycles, and I had about 7,5 months with absolutely no when I came off BCP early this year. It may be coincidence, but a couple weeks on the low-GI diet, and AF came around. Plus, I might have actually ovulated this cycle (see previous post). I'm hoping it does something.

I have always struggled with my weight, but when it comes to doctors, my bone structure, etc, complicates things a *lot*. I am 168 cm tall, but my lowest adult weight (when I was running half marathons) was 86 kg. I have been advised by a Dr. I had at the time that 85 kg is a good "overweight, but reasonably healthy" weight given the amount of muscle I had combined with my bone structure. I just have a whole lot of muscle mass, and really large bone structure -- a very stocky build with thick bone structure, wide hips, etc. Unfortunately, 85 kg for me would still put my BMI at slightly over 30, which is borderline between overweight and obese -- potentially too high to qualify for some things. I will have to hope that I can get a doctor to see reason if I need fertility treatments, I suppose. But anyway, my weight loss journey has me focusing on 85 kg as my 'final' goal, and if I end up at a happy place before that, so be it. I mostly care that my heart, blood pressure, etc, are all measuring OK and that I can go through life happily.

 

[deafgal01]

Mrs- I hope you're right that someone will get their bfp soon. We're long overdue for one. It's not going to be me though.

I'm in same boat as you all. I bought my house, and I have a career going and I've been stable with my finances for quite a while. Just can't get a baby.

 

[ireadyermind]

Mrs- I hope you're right that someone will get their bfp soon. We're long overdue for one. It's not going to be me though.

I'm in same boat as you all. I bought my house, and I have a career going and I've been stable with my finances for quite a while. Just can't get a baby.

It's sad that so many of us got our ducks in a row FIRST, and yet we seem to be striking out, and then there are loads of people who can't afford any more children but keep having them even when they're using birth control. Erf.

Good luck to you! I hope you get your BFP soon!

 

[deafgal01]

I hope you get yours soon too, iready. I already know I'm not likely to get mine for a while yet... Not possible without the sperm factor anyways unless God works some miracle.

 

[KatO79]

Hi Everyone!

Just checking in

I was hoping to see some good news on this thread. Someone's time has *got* to be coming around soon.

I rang to the doctor yesterday and explained the weird bleeding I had that started last week. The doctor actually thinks it sounded like ovulation bleeding. I had never heard of this, but I read up on it, and apparently it's a thing. The description of bleeding during ovulation on this website, for example, seems to be more or less exactly what I had: https://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Bleeding_During_Ovulation. I noticed during that time I also had a *lot* of CM (and normally I'm quite dry -- sorry if TMI), and my cervix was quite soft. I've gone back to being quite dry now, as well. I also took an OPK last weekend (right after most of the spotting happened), and then one this week and one more today -- they went from having two lines last weekend (but the second line def. not darker than the first, so not positive), to having only a super, super faint line a couple days later, then today I couldn't see a second line at all. If OPKs progress from completely negative, to positive right before O, then progress back to completely negative (only 1 line), then I guess it could make sense. I have no idea, really

I'm supposed to just wait and see what happens; I have an appointment with the gyno on Jan. 20th to discuss fertility issues (in particular, my doctor wants to have my ovaries scanned to rule out PCOS because of the long cycles).

If they are right about the spotting being ovulation spotting, I would be somewhere around 7 DPO today, and I should expect AF around next Saturday if not pregnant. We did BD every other day leading up to the bleeding, and at least once during, and once right after (I try to make sure we BD every 1-2 days just because I have no clue what my body is doing -- sometimes we only make it every 3 days). But despite this, I'm not optimistic.

I might take a hpt next Saturday if no sign of AF -- I haven't decided yet. The disappointment is just becoming so freaking hard to take. I try to be really positive, but I'm becoming more and more disheartened. I do a great job of acting like I'm calm and nothing is really a big deal in front of my DH, but the truth is that my biggest fear is that I'll never have children. I have no idea why my body isn't "normal". I'm overweight as well (although I'm losing weight successfully), and I'm scared that I'm too overweight for anyone to care about helping me (I'm afraid of just being told to lose weight and that it will fix everything). It makes me so angry that so many people get pregnant on accident and I waited so long, and ignored my desire to be a mother for so long so that I could do it the "right" way, and now I get this. I don't even want a big family. I don't care if I had a boy or a girl. I just want one healthy baby. Just one.

Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest. I don't rant very often...I try really hard to be positive, but I know you all have experienced similar feelings and can understand.

cutestuff: Sorry that came for you. Maybe just try to look at every cycle as a fresh start, out of the TWW limbo and ready to start again.

djro718: I have no clue about the OPKs, but if I were you I think I would just try to plenty.

MJsBabyShaw: I hope that you do get that miracle BFP somehow...or maybe that your DH will come around on the IVF thing? I too have been thinking about the path to coming to terms with being childless. But I hope that is not the future for either of us.

Kat079: I hope the IUI is just what you need and it sees you graduating from this thread by the end of January. Good Luck.

I know how you're feeling Mrs. Tigger. I waited too long as well. I graduated with my Masters in February 2007 and "waisted" my time applying for jobs for 2½ years, the took my Lab Tech degree (started right after I got married) and finally got a job only to be fired for the most ridiculous reasons ever. Now i don't think any Companies would touch me with a 10-foot pole after being fired during my 3 month trial In hindsight, I should've just dropped the taking the 2nd education thing and just started trying having a baby. I was 30 so maybe it would've been easier So frustrating that many get pregnant as teenagers or drug addicts. I can't stand to Watch a show here called "The Young Mothers" (I'm sure you know it) because I can't stand seeing these young girls having babies, especially the ones between the ages of 15-18 bother me. The clueless ones that consider french fries a vegetable and baking potatoes in the oven using a blue trash bag also annoy me. These women can have kids but I can't? I have my worries to that IUI won't work for me, that IVF will fail as well and will end up with no children I don't care what I get either, as long as the baby is healthy.

In regards to your weight, I think they say that hormone treatments work better on women if they aren't overweight so you do risk your GP/RE saying you need to lose weight before they'll help you I also think I read that being overweight means you're producing too much estrogen and means you're cycles may be wonky because of it and makes it harder to get pregnant. But I don't know where the doctors draw the line in regards weight

Thanks Mrs. Tigger, I hope so too Hope you also soon get your bfp

 

[dede3124]

I can totally 'relate' to getting our ducks in a row before ttc and now feeling how unfair it is that we are struggling....especially since so many people don't struggle....

Saw my gyn. She has ordered an u/s and hsg. Our current plan is those tests and an sa. If that all checks out then schedule with re and do two months of just acupuncture and two months of clomid while waiting for the re. Dr did tell me that my labs look good and do not indicate that I am likely to have some of the crazy things happen on clomid.....fingers crossed all this planning is not needed and that a bfp is on it's way now! Should be ovulating today hopefully and have been 'doing homework' lol

 

[ireadyermind]

I know how you're feeling Mrs. Tigger. I waited too long as well. I graduated with my Masters in February 2007 and "waisted" my time applying for jobs for 2½ years, the took my Lab Tech degree (started right after I got married) and finally got a job only to be fired for the most ridiculous reasons ever. Now i don't think any Companies would touch me with a 10-foot pole after being fired during my 3 month trial In hindsight, I should've just dropped the taking the 2nd education thing and just started trying having a baby. I was 30 so maybe it would've been easier So frustrating that many get pregnant as teenagers or drug addicts. I can't stand to Watch a show here called "The Young Mothers" (I'm sure you know it) because I can't stand seeing these young girls having babies, especially the ones between the ages of 15-18 bother me. The clueless ones that consider french fries a vegetable and baking potatoes in the oven using a blue trash bag also annoy me. These women can have kids but I can't? I have my worries to that IUI won't work for me, that IVF will fail as well and will end up with no children I don't care what I get either, as long as the baby is healthy.

In regards to your weight, I think they say that hormone treatments work better on women if they aren't overweight so you do risk your GP/RE saying you need to lose weight before they'll help you I also think I read that being overweight means you're producing too much estrogen and means you're cycles may be wonky because of it and makes it harder to get pregnant. But I don't know where the doctors draw the line in regards weight

Thanks Mrs. Tigger, I hope so too Hope you also soon get your bfp

I'm hoping losing weight helps me get my BFP too! I didn't know that being overweight meant producing too much estrogen. That's news to me! But it makes sense, I suppose. And it's one more thing to consider when trying to lose weight. Thanks for sharing that tidbit.


DH and I decided to do Medifast for a few months as a sort of fast track for weight loss. We tried the plan a while back and it worked well, but as we were paying two mortgages for a little while (waiting for our old house to sell!), it became too costly and we ended up going off the plan.

Then I gained 10 pounds after being "out" due to a surgery earlier this year, so I have that much extra to lose before I'm considered "overweight" and not "obese". Sigh. I don't feel obese! I'm a little bit tall for a woman (5' 9''ish), broad shouldered, sorta stockily built in terms of bone structure. If I followed the doc's height/weight charts and got down to what they considered to be a middle healthy range, I'd look like a skeleton!

Having been approximately 30 pounds lighter in high school, I know that I could have lost another 10 and have been perfectly happy, so instead of losing 60 the pounds these guys think I need to, I'm going for 40.

Those charts are not a "one size fits all" deal, and I wish more physicians would remember that. My OB said to me, "Yeah, you're overweight, so you should work on that." I was SO happy to be able to say to her, "Uh - this time last year, I was 30 pounds heavier. I'm well aware that I need to lose weight, and I'm working on it." She hasn't mentioned my weight since. lol!

 

[Fleur828815]

MJs, so sorry that your appointment didn’t go very well. I hope your next appointments will give you better news. Please don’t give up hope yet, you DID get pregnant once so it can happen again, with a little help required if necessary. Early miscarriages happened to lots of us, and I’ve never heard of irregular cycles and ovulation after CD16 being a problem? The doctor seems like he knows what he’s doing, and it’s good that he’s getting all those tests done, so he can point you in the right direction.

drjo, this is my first time using OPKs and I never got a positive. I was thinking of buying digital ones but they don’t sound easier to use!

Mrs Tigger, big hugs to you. I also get so angry when women who don’t “deserve” it get pregnant so easily whereas those who do everything properly struggle. Good luck with your weight loss, and hope you come out of your Jan 20 appointment feeling more positive.

ireadyermind, my DH wanted to start TTC earlier but I insisted on waiting till we both got settled into new jobs (moved countries last year), bought a plot of land to build a house etc before. I do regret waiting for so long now, especially after going through a miscarriage 2 months ago. Fingers crossed you’ll get your BFP before June and won’t need to ask for tests!

deafgal, life is so unfair isn’t it  I know your journey to a baby won’t be an easy one, but I hope you’ll get there one way or another.

Kat, I know how stressed you must be about the what-ifs but you’ve got good chances of IUI or IVF working if it comes to that.

dede, glad that your gyn has got the ball rolling and that your labs good. Seems like he’s got a good plan of action. Enjoy doing homework !

I can’t seem to get out of a funk since the past few days. Maybe it’s because Christmas will be here soon and I had asked for baby stuff as Xmas gifts. Don’t even feel like celebrating now. Been doing OPKs for 10 days, had a faint line every day, it got darker on CD 20 but not even close to positive. CD 22 today and the line is practically invisible. So I didn’t even ovulate this month and I don’t know when I can expect AF.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Lots of babydust, a BFP is long overdue on this thread and would sure cheer me up!

 

[drjo718]

5th day of flashing smiley and a somewhat dark but still negative line on my ic opk. Feeling disappointed.

 

[KatO79]

I know how you're feeling Mrs. Tigger. I waited too long as well. I graduated with my Masters in February 2007 and "waisted" my time applying for jobs for 2½ years, the took my Lab Tech degree (started right after I got married) and finally got a job only to be fired for the most ridiculous reasons ever. Now i don't think any Companies would touch me with a 10-foot pole after being fired during my 3 month trial In hindsight, I should've just dropped the taking the 2nd education thing and just started trying having a baby. I was 30 so maybe it would've been easier So frustrating that many get pregnant as teenagers or drug addicts. I can't stand to Watch a show here called "The Young Mothers" (I'm sure you know it) because I can't stand seeing these young girls having babies, especially the ones between the ages of 15-18 bother me. The clueless ones that consider french fries a vegetable and baking potatoes in the oven using a blue trash bag also annoy me. These women can have kids but I can't? I have my worries to that IUI won't work for me, that IVF will fail as well and will end up with no children I don't care what I get either, as long as the baby is healthy.

In regards to your weight, I think they say that hormone treatments work better on women if they aren't overweight so you do risk your GP/RE saying you need to lose weight before they'll help you I also think I read that being overweight means you're producing too much estrogen and means you're cycles may be wonky because of it and makes it harder to get pregnant. But I don't know where the doctors draw the line in regards weight

Thanks Mrs. Tigger, I hope so too Hope you also soon get your bfp

I'm hoping losing weight helps me get my BFP too! I didn't know that being overweight meant producing too much estrogen. That's news to me! But it makes sense, I suppose. And it's one more thing to consider when trying to lose weight. Thanks for sharing that tidbit.

Yes it seems the fat cells produce estrogen which in turn can prevent O or it's inadequate.

I found some different articles about this:

https://www.pregnancy.org/article/fertility-advice-overweight-and-obese-women

https://www.babyhopes.com/articles/overweight-getting-pregnant.html

This one tells you about how having too much or too Little estrogen affects your cycles:

https://natural-fertility-info.com/estrogen-fertility-good-bad.html

MJs, so sorry that your appointment didn’t go very well. I hope your next appointments will give you better news. Please don’t give up hope yet, you DID get pregnant once so it can happen again, with a little help required if necessary. Early miscarriages happened to lots of us, and I’ve never heard of irregular cycles and ovulation after CD16 being a problem? The doctor seems like he knows what he’s doing, and it’s good that he’s getting all those tests done, so he can point you in the right direction.

drjo, this is my first time using OPKs and I never got a positive. I was thinking of buying digital ones but they don’t sound easier to use!

Mrs Tigger, big hugs to you. I also get so angry when women who don’t “deserve” it get pregnant so easily whereas those who do everything properly struggle. Good luck with your weight loss, and hope you come out of your Jan 20 appointment feeling more positive.

ireadyermind, my DH wanted to start TTC earlier but I insisted on waiting till we both got settled into new jobs (moved countries last year), bought a plot of land to build a house etc before. I do regret waiting for so long now, especially after going through a miscarriage 2 months ago. Fingers crossed you’ll get your BFP before June and won’t need to ask for tests!

deafgal, life is so unfair isn’t it  I know your journey to a baby won’t be an easy one, but I hope you’ll get there one way or another.

Kat, I know how stressed you must be about the what-ifs but you’ve got good chances of IUI or IVF working if it comes to that.

dede, glad that your gyn has got the ball rolling and that your labs good. Seems like he’s got a good plan of action. Enjoy doing homework !

I can’t seem to get out of a funk since the past few days. Maybe it’s because Christmas will be here soon and I had asked for baby stuff as Xmas gifts. Don’t even feel like celebrating now. Been doing OPKs for 10 days, had a faint line every day, it got darker on CD 20 but not even close to positive. CD 22 today and the line is practically invisible. So I didn’t even ovulate this month and I don’t know when I can expect AF.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Lots of babydust, a BFP is long overdue on this thread and would sure cheer me up!

Hope you're right Fleur but I do worry sometimes what we'll do if IUI or IVF doesn't work But I'm hoping you're right and I'm worrying over nothing. Here's hoping in a couple of months you can say "I told you so"

Awww so sorry you might not have Oed But I think it can take some time for the body to recuperate after a miscarriage. I hope you have a great Christmas anyway and you get your bfp soon I know I'm going to try to enjoy Christmas even though Santa wasn't very nice this year and didn't give me a Christmas bfp Maybe he'll give me a belated Christmas bfp in January

 

[bighouse]

I can definitely relate, tigger/ireadyermind/deafgal, about being frustrated it is so hard to conceive after trying to be RESPONSIBLE (stable, income, housing, job, committed lifelong relationship, savings, etc) before TTC. But then it's the irresponsible people who get pregnant easily, and we have a hard time. Grrrrrr

We totally waited until we had ALL our ducks in a row... but that took too long. I feel like some of that prep was a waste... for example building up our savings, only to have it wiped out by TTC bills (the amount we've spent out of pocket on TTC this year is staggering).

AFM my family doc wouldn't do the AMH test, said his lab didn't do it, I would have to have the RE draw that one. I'm going to try and forget about it for now.

I'm using OPK's but nothing yet. CD13 for me. I have not been testing twice a day, I've only done 1x/day, which I know could cause me to miss my surge, but half the time I forget until it's too late (my testing medium is in the toilet LOL).

 

[drjo718]

Quick update from me...day 6 of the stupid flashing smiley on CB advanced opk. Still no definite positive on ic opks, but they have been close several times. Cd20 of a clomid cycle. Was supposed to have progesterone drawn tomorrow but I don't see the point anymore.