Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[KatO79]

By the way I updated my FB page with a link about all those myths we hate like "just relax and it'll happen" or "Take a vacation" and my big brother (½ brother, we have the same mother) absolutely had to comment and say "Perhaps, but the alternative is to stress it constantly - I'd go for the vacation option instead! " I wrote and answered that plenty of women have issues conceiving that have nothing to do with stress and sent him a Danish RE telling about these myths and how they're BS. But nope, he won't listen, his answer "Has a study come out that shows that if couples stress and worry, they are more likely to have a baby? Until one does, I would venture that couples with this issue are prob best off using the tachnology that is available and remaining as calm and contented with other aspects of thier lives as is possible. Unfortunetly, even with all our medical know-how, some couples will never have a child. In that case, adoption is a great alternative" His answer to the Danish article: "Read it. Nope, doesn't really change my thought process. Lots of folks, including (insert wife's name here) and I, in our generation decided to have kids later - and that ofcourse has its price in fertility. Does stress increase or decrease fertility? Everything I've read shows that stress will decrease fertility."

I'm frankly surprised since him and his wife went through 5 years of assisted conception to have a child (they started when she was 41) I could say the same to him that they should've just taken a vacation. I refuse to answer his last comment, have better things to do and want to be in a positive mind-set for my impending IUI. I'm just sad and amazed that the 1st comment from my brother since we started TTCing and now have fertility issues is to respond this way He's always been a bit of an arrogant know-it-all but still, no empathy and just making lots of assumptions

 

[MissDoc]

Kat, I think objectively *some* of his comments are valid points (about stress negatively affecting fertility)-- managing stress is important but it is NOT the only part of the equation (i.e., a vacation probably won't magically cure underlying physiological problems). And SUBJECTIVELY as your brother and someone who has been through this himself, sheesh, he could show a little more empathy. I'm sorry.

I always, always, always regret posting anything at all thought provoking or meaningful on FB because it invites others to make really dumb arguments and just makes me annoyed at people and mankind in general. Lol.

**Edited to add: And his argument is a false dichotomy.The only alternatives are NOT either to be easy breezy and take vacations versus stress constantly. Some of us have to find a middle ground and do legitimate interventions and monitoring and planning, but hopefully we can do whatever we can to keep from feeling so overwhelmed and stressed throughout a stressful process.

 

[KatO79]

Kat, I think objectively *some* of his comments are valid points (about stress negatively affecting fertility)-- managing stress is important but it is NOT the only part of the equation (i.e., a vacation probably won't magically cure underlying physiological problems). And SUBJECTIVELY as your brother and someone who has been through this himself, sheesh, he could show a little more empathy. I'm sorry.

I always, always, always regret posting anything at all thought provoking or meaningful on FB because it invites others to make really dumb arguments and just makes me annoyed at people and mankind in general. Lol.

**Edited to add: And his argument is a false dichotomoty.The only alternatives are NOT either to be easy breezy and take vacations versus stress constantly. Some of us have to find a middle ground and do legitimate interventions and monitoring and planning, but hopefully we can do whatever we can to keep from feeling so overwhelmed and stressed throughout a stressful process.

But I wasn't arguing that stress affects fertility since that's a given (although we're talking about an insane amount of stress before it should affect anything) but the fact that people assume if someone is having issues conceiving (especially if they're under 40), it must be due to stress and say to them "Just relax and it'll happen".

Nope no empathy and my ½ sister isn't being much better as she's supporting him in his argumentation

I think the problem is they both were in their early 40s when they had issues conceiving (him with #1, her with #2) and don't get that a 35 year old woman (or someone younger for that matter) could have issues conceiving when no explanations have been found. I guess "unexplained infertility" is a foreign concept to them

You're right about the last part, but I don't feel like arguing with him because he's deaf to any counter arguments and has to always be right My mother has Narcissitic Personality Disorder (in a baaad way) and think he may have a bit of it himself Total waste of time to argue with him but sometimes I can't help myself Luckily my cousin is so lovely about all this and she just wished me lots of luck with the IUI

UPDATE: I tried saying to him I don't wish for a discussion and don't wish to continue since he's trying to be right. He now implies I'm being childish by ending the conversation just because it isn't going my way and don't agree with him. Mixed in there he said he does support and understand my situation. I tried now saying that why didn't he just say that and show it instead of starting a debate when I clearly wasn't out for a debate. Besides since when has FB become a debate forum? I also said it has nothing to do with he disagrees with me, just that I wasn't out for a debate and am ending it because it's going in circles plus I'm not in the mood for a discussion when I need to be positive for my IUI. Geesh, he becomes more arrogant and insulting with age I don't know why he's constantly out to imply I'm childish when I'm anything but.

So his answer was he didn't know I just wanted a rubber stamp approval and he just liked my post Now who's being childish Don't know why he's trying to annoy me just because I don't agree with all he's saying and don't wish to further discuss it because A) there's no point and B) I'm soooo not in the mood for a debate in this particular subject when I'm struggling to conceive. Maybe after I have a baby.

 

[Fleur828815]

Thank you Fleur828815. I think you meant "EElse, sorry it was a BFN, let us know what the doctor says" and not BFP, but it's the sentiment that counts...

Thank you and I'll let you know what doc says!

Oops, yes, I meant BFN but I hope I'll be congratulating you on a BFP soon. Has your AF started?

 

[Fleur828815]

Kat, I'm happy for you, you must be so impatient for tomorrow! Don't let your brother and sister put a damper on your excitement, you've been waiting for this for so long. Just avoid getting into further debates with him, you don't need all the drama at the moment.

 

[EElse]

Oops, yes, I meant BFN but I hope I'll be congratulating you on a BFP soon. Has your AF started?

Hi Fleur828815. Yes, started spotting yesterday and today the is back. Thanks for the support, I'm just glad that AF started and I know now where I stand.

Good luck Kat!

 

[KatO79]

Kat, I'm happy for you, you must be so impatient for tomorrow! Don't let your brother and sister put a damper on your excitement, you've been waiting for this for so long. Just avoid getting into further debates with him, you don't need all the drama at the moment.

I am, it'll be great to start I'll update tomorrow with how it went

It's kind of hard not to have them put just a little damper on things Amazing how my sister defended his views and started telling me how much my brother loves me and to stop. Stop what, he started the debate, I just politely tried to argue with him a bit at first, quickly saw it was no use and ended it for both my mental health and seeing no reason in a debate that wasn't going to go anywhere in the first place. So I did try to stop it but he continued and insulted me in the end. Well he sure has a strange way of showing love if that's the case Not only that I got an email from his wife and she's a bit pissed I mentioned their "journey" (she put it in quotation marks herself) and that lots of people can read it now. I didn't know it was such a big secret for her but maybe if her "always have to be right" DH hadn't started a heated debate insisting on his opinions, it wouldn't have been mentioned because clearly I would mention it in this case when he's being so unempathetic

I didn't know he was going to react like this, that being right was so important. I'm almost more upset about him saying I'm childish for wanting to drop the debate since he said something like "When you're ready for an adult conversation and can handle someone with a differing opinion, post on"

Thank god for my cousin who's been so amazingly supportive despite the fact she never had any issues conceiving her 2 kids (other than 1 CP before #1, her son). She shows me more support and understanding than my brother and sister put together who've both been through assisted conception. It's crazy

After this I know who's off the short list for making Godmother and -father since I was otherwise considering my brother and his wife despite the fact they're in their 50's

 

[Praying4BB]

Hi ladies! Sorry for being MIA, we just got back from vacation and I see that I missed a lot--three more BFPS!! CONGRATS Bighouse, MJ, and Piha! Let's keep this positive energy going!!!! Kat, good luck with your IUI! So exciting it's finally here!! Happy belated b-day Holly! Fleur dear, how are you doing?

So we found out Tuesday we are having TWINS! We saw their teeny hearts flickering, got to hear their hearts beat, and they look a lot like shrimp right now Of course I was bawling. I know it's still so early, I'm 7 weeks today, but after thinking my body couldn't possibly do this for so long, I have so much hope now. I hope that it gives you all hope too!

 

[MissDoc]

Kat-- Good luck today!!

Praying4BB-- Oh my goodness, twins!?!?! Double the blessings! Congrats on your little shrimps!

As for me, no changes here. Stuck in weird limbo. Have no clue if I ovulated this month as all of the signs are misleading, so no clue if I'm in the 2WW or not. AF expected next week, so we'll see I guess. I'm not feeling hopeful at all and I'm just ready to start a new cycle. I took a FRER yesterday with a BFN, but I'm not surprised since I don't even know if I o'd much less dpo at this point.

 

[KatO79]

Hi ladies! Sorry for being MIA, we just got back from vacation and I see that I missed a lot--three more BFPS!! CONGRATS Bighouse, MJ, and Piha! Let's keep this positive energy going!!!! Kat, good luck with your IUI! So exciting it's finally here!! Happy belated b-day Holly! Fleur dear, how are you doing?

So we found out Tuesday we are having TWINS! We saw their teeny hearts flickering, got to hear their hearts beat, and they look a lot like shrimp right now Of course I was bawling. I know it's still so early, I'm 7 weeks today, but after thinking my body couldn't possibly do this for so long, I have so much hope now. I hope that it gives you all hope too!

Thank you Praying

And congrats on having twins Hope it all goes well

 

[EElse]

Hi ladies! Sorry for being MIA, we just got back from vacation and I see that I missed a lot--three more BFPS!! CONGRATS Bighouse, MJ, and Piha! Let's keep this positive energy going!!!! Kat, good luck with your IUI! So exciting it's finally here!! Happy belated b-day Holly! Fleur dear, how are you doing?

So we found out Tuesday we are having TWINS! We saw their teeny hearts flickering, got to hear their hearts beat, and they look a lot like shrimp right now Of course I was bawling. I know it's still so early, I'm 7 weeks today, but after thinking my body couldn't possibly do this for so long, I have so much hope now. I hope that it gives you all hope too!

Hi Praying4BB. I'm fairly new here but wanted to say congratulations on your twins! Good luck and we pray that everything will go smoothly for you.

Kat, good luck for today!

 

[KatO79]

Hi ladies! Sorry for being MIA, we just got back from vacation and I see that I missed a lot--three more BFPS!! CONGRATS Bighouse, MJ, and Piha! Let's keep this positive energy going!!!! Kat, good luck with your IUI! So exciting it's finally here!! Happy belated b-day Holly! Fleur dear, how are you doing?

So we found out Tuesday we are having TWINS! We saw their teeny hearts flickering, got to hear their hearts beat, and they look a lot like shrimp right now Of course I was bawling. I know it's still so early, I'm 7 weeks today, but after thinking my body couldn't possibly do this for so long, I have so much hope now. I hope that it gives you all hope too!

Hi Praying4BB. I'm fairly new here but wanted to say congratulations on your twins! Good luck and we pray that everything will go smoothly for you.

Kat, good luck for today!

Thanks EElse but it's first tomorrow, Friday, that I go in

 

[Fleur828815]

Oh wow Praying, how EXCITING, twin babies! Did you have any inkling?? Hope you'll still be popping in to give us updates.

Thanks for asking, I'm doing better but so impatient for a sticky baby, DH says I'm obsessed. I think I'm not ovulating since the miscarriage so it's stressful. Hope we'll all be joining you on the pregnancy boards in not too long!

Kat, glad that your cousin is supportive. Maybe she's the one you should have as a godmother!

MissDoc, I know the stuck in limbo feeling Hope you'll know by next week what's happening.

 

[KatO79]

Oh wow Praying, how EXCITING, twin babies! Did you have any inkling?? Hope you'll still be popping in to give us updates.

Thanks for asking, I'm doing better but so impatient for a sticky baby, DH says I'm obsessed. I think I'm not ovulating since the miscarriage so it's stressful. Hope we'll all be joining you on the pregnancy boards in not too long!

Kat, glad that your cousin is supportive. Maybe she's the one you should have as a godmother!

MissDoc, I know the stuck in limbo feeling Hope you'll know by next week what's happening.

Yes I was considering it but the only issue is my narcissitic mother is on bad terms with her so if my cousin comes to the christening, my mother won't. But it's not my problem My mother has been against me having a baby so maybe she should be a low priority in this case

Awww here's hoping you soon start Oing Fleur Hoping you soon get your super sticky bean

 

[ireadyermind]

Wow, Kat! Twins! That's got to be exciting and stressful at the same time!

I think having twins would be awesome. They'd be instant BFFs and I'd be done having babies all in one go. Haha

-----------------------------

As for me --

I finally saw EWCM today for the first time since my cervical cancer surgery in May 2014! I'm so excited! I know it's a dumb thing to be this happy about, but they had to remove some glands in there, and I was afraid that I'd never get EWCM again and that it would keep me from getting pregnant.

Today proves that I still can get EWCM and that's going to help those little guys where they need to go! Eee!

PLUS I got a +OPK result this morning on two different tests (since the CB Digital seems to be faulty, I didn't trust the +OPK this morning and used a Wondfos dip strip too).

I'm in a pretty positive mood this afternoon after both those things. Yay!

 

[KatO79]

Wow, Kat! Twins! That's got to be exciting and stressful at the same time!

I think having twins would be awesome. They'd be instant BFFs and I'd be done having babies all in one go. Haha

-----------------------------

As for me --

I finally saw EWCM today for the first time since my cervical cancer surgery in May 2014! I'm so excited! I know it's a dumb thing to be this happy about, but they had to remove some glands in there, and I was afraid that I'd never get EWCM again and that it would keep me from getting pregnant.

Today proves that I still can get EWCM and that's going to help those little guys where they need to go! Eee!

PLUS I got a +OPK result this morning on two different tests (since the CB Digital seems to be faulty, I didn't trust the +OPK this morning and used a Wondfos dip strip too).

I'm in a pretty positive mood this afternoon after both those things. Yay!

It's actually Praying that's pregnant with twins, not me since I'm starting my 1st IUI this cycle Going in for my 1st of 2 U/S tomorrow and then will get a crash course in injecting hormones and get my hormones from them.

Wow yay for EWCM I never got steady EWCM, maybe been part of my problem? Anyway get BDing and here's hoping

 

[EElse]

Thanks EElse but it's first tomorrow, Friday, that I go in

Sorry Kat!! Well, now I'll say it... Good luck today!! (It's Friday morning 05:50 here in South Africa)

 

[KatO79]

So my appointment went well today Everything looks good and she showed me how to use the injection pen and told me I needed to start injecting myself starting tonight and every night until and including Thursday night with 50 i.e. of Puregon each time. I'll update with how it goes tonight but can already feel I'll need to man up for tonight

 

[Fleur828815]

Glad your appointment went well Kat. I must say, I'm loving how excited you're sounding about getting injections Just kidding, I hope it won't be more painful than a prickle and that you'll get used to it quickly.

CD 17 today and I got a glaring positive OPK, for the first time ever. However, for the past 4 days or so I'd been having dark test lines, almost as dark or as dark as the control line (last night at 11.30 p.m despite drinking a lot before). I don't know if that's normal. I'm not temping so won't be able to confirm ovulation this month. No CM/ EWCM either.

 

[Fleur828815]

As for me --

I finally saw EWCM today for the first time since my cervical cancer surgery in May 2014! I'm so excited! I know it's a dumb thing to be this happy about, but they had to remove some glands in there, and I was afraid that I'd never get EWCM again and that it would keep me from getting pregnant.

Today proves that I still can get EWCM and that's going to help those little guys where they need to go! Eee!

PLUS I got a +OPK result this morning on two different tests (since the CB Digital seems to be faulty, I didn't trust the +OPK this morning and used a Wondfos dip strip too).

I'm in a pretty positive mood this afternoon after both those things. Yay!

for the +OPK and EWCM, very good signs, no wonder you're in a positive mood! Best of luck for a BFP!