Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Fleur828815]

EElse, I believe using a blanket can affect your body temperature. It’s good that your temps are behaving normally now! Are you close to ovulating? Good luck!

Kat, rant away, of course you’re upset and frustrated. I’m sure TexMel didn’t mean it like that, you are paying through your taxes etc. but not many countries would “allow” so many tries, so don’t give up hope, you’ve still got lots of chances although I understand how discouraging it must all be. I think I’ve mentioned my friend before, she tried for months (after having tried for a couple of years with a previous partner) before finally falling pregnant at the age of 37, you’re not that old ! Also, it’s fab that they keep on with the IUI tries while waiting for the IVF, so you don’t lose any time and still increase your chances every month.

TexMel, I second what MissDoc said, try wearing medium/high support sports bras. I wore them day and night last time! Enjoy being symptom-free, nausea doesn’t sound too appealing. Update us after your scan!

MissDoc, it must be frustrating to wait but don’t see it as “wasted’ time, you are preparing your body for pregnancy and you’ll hopefully know your optimal time for falling pregnant when you’re ready to try. As for me, most of the time I don’t even remember I’m pregnant, I feel so normal! In a way it’s good because I’m not letting myself think too much about the pregnancy or get too attached, just in case it’s a repeat of last time. I do hope I’m just very lucky and having the easiest first trimester ever!

 

[KatO79]

Kat, rant away, of course you’re upset and frustrated. I’m sure TexMel didn’t mean it like that, you are paying through your taxes etc. but not many countries would “allow” so many tries, so don’t give up hope, you’ve still got lots of chances although I understand how discouraging it must all be. I think I’ve mentioned my friend before, she tried for months (after having tried for a couple of years with a previous partner) before finally falling pregnant at the age of 37, you’re not that old ! Also, it’s fab that they keep on with the IUI tries while waiting for the IVF, so you don’t lose any time and still increase your chances every month.

I just felt like I was being made to feel guilty that I get these "free" tries and other people have to pay so I was making a point that in a way, we're paying through DH's salary since the taxes here are insane. Which is why fertility treatments are "free", because taxpayers money partly goes to helping infertile couples. The state wants people to have as many children as possible since the birth rates are falling here and they're willing to have tax money go to helping people have these children - who'll be future taxpayers so it pays for the state to help infertile couples in the end when you consider how much they'll get back in future taxes from these kids. I can't help it that I'm so fortunate to live in a country that considers infertility a disease, I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for it or like I don't have the right to feel upset when an IUI fails. I know that's probably not how she meant it but it's the way it came off. That's why I try and be careful how I formulate myself on the internet to avoid as little misunderstandings as possible.

I'll be turning 36 on May 1st though. But your friend got pregnant on one of her first 3 tries, right?

I think if #4 also fails I'll just be going with the flow until I can start IVF, better for my sanity.

 

[Fleur828815]

I'm sure she absolutely didn't mean you to feel bad about it, on the contrary! We know you're fortunate that you get so many tries and we are HAPPY for you and don't want you to give up hope. It sucks to have to give up after 1 or 2 tries (or even earlier!) because finances don't allow it. It doesn't mean you have to feel guilty, that's just the way it is and I'm sure you'd be equally happy for everyone else to be able to benefit from several tries.

My friend had several IUIs with her first partner (not sure how many), and with her second partner it worked after 4-5 tries I believe, when she was 37. Her next step would have been IVF if it hadn't worked. She's been trying for her second now for the past 6 months but no success yet. She tells me how emotionally and physically exhausting it all is, but she's not going to give up yet (she'll be 39 in a couple of weeks).

 

[dede3124]

Sad to hear bad news and excited for the good!

I am in need of advice. I had an endometrial biopsy today to see if my infection has cleared. My re said we could try the same month as the biopsy, but the doctor that did the biopsy (not affiliated with the re) said we couldn't. I don't know who to believe and I should be ovulating in the next 2-3 days. Any insight?

Ug, I also had a friend that miscarried and had to have a d&c. I feel bad for them but can't seem to shake the thought of 'at least you know you can get pregnant'. I know this feeling isn't right but maybe telling you guys will make me feel better....

 

[KatO79]

I'm sure she absolutely didn't mean you to feel bad about it, on the contrary! We know you're fortunate that you get so many tries and we are HAPPY for you and don't want you to give up hope. It sucks to have to give up after 1 or 2 tries (or even earlier!) because finances don't allow it. It doesn't mean you have to feel guilty, that's just the way it is and I'm sure you'd be equally happy for everyone else to be able to benefit from several tries.

My friend had several IUIs with her first partner (not sure how many), and with her second partner it worked after 4-5 tries I believe, when she was 37. Her next step would have been IVF if it hadn't worked. She's been trying for her second now for the past 6 months but no success yet. She tells me how emotionally and physically exhausting it all is, but she's not going to give up yet (she'll be 39 in a couple of weeks).

I know and I truely feel bad for people that can't afford it, I really do I wish it was like that everywhere else because I think it stinks that people have to give up after a few tries or use months to save up for each try or maybe never get a chance to try at all. There really should be something similar to the Danish system in other countries so people can get a few tries of IUI/IVF before they have to start paying. Although here you only get help for #1, any other kids are always out of pocket although I'm not sure what the reason is. Probably they figure if you can get pregnant once, you can do it again.

OK I though it was like 2 or 3 tries for some reason Were they with injectables or Clomid/Femara? I hope she soon succeeds in having #2. I've heard some people conceive #2 quickly when they've had issues with #1 although I know it doesn't always work out like that. Some friends of ours needed IUI/IVF (not sure which since we aren't close with them at all) to get #1 and were lucky and had no problems having #2 on their own Will she be going the assisted conception route again after a certain TTC period or is she just going to let nature take it's course and hope it soon happens?

Since the clinic has found out what dose works I'm hoping it's now just a matter of fine tuning the timing of the trigger and IUI at this point. I think I took the trigger about 24.5-25 hours before my IUI#3 and was in the process of Oing so hoping they set me to trigger less hours before since it's probably more optimal to inseminate before O. It's also crazy that my body is now so quickly maturing and releasing these eggs since the trigger should make it take at least 38 hours for them to reach Oing point. I think my body only took those 38-42 hours for my 1st IUI while #2 I'd already Oed when I took it 36 hours before Which is probably what our nurse meant when she said it's also a matter of timing, she's probably referring to the timing of IUI after trigger.

 

[TexMel]

Kat - I was absolutely not trying to make you feel bad or guilty in any way! I am so sorry if it came off that way! I was trying to make you feel good about it.
Again, very sorry! I am definitely in your corner cheering for you!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

Hey everyone....just popping in to update you. I found out last week that we are having a GIRL

Originally, I thought I wanted to boy since my in-laws already have two granddaughters, and I kind of wanted a boy for my DH (we are only having one child). But I'm over the moon about our girl...she already has her daddy wrapped round her little finger - DH is going to paint her entire room in the colors we chose for her bedding/decor - yellow and gray. It's going to be so pretty!

My mom was out visiting for the last three days and of course it was a bit strained as usual...we don't get along very well for various reasons that I won't get into. But that's another reason I wasn't keen on having a daughter....I just feel like moms and their daughters are always at each other's throats. Hopefully it won't be that way with me and my little girl, but you just never know I guess. I know I'll be providing a MUCH more stable environment for my daughter than my parents did for me...and hopefully that will help.

 

[deafgal01]

Checking in. I doubt very many of you recall seeing me but I'm doing ok- been busy working and staying away on break since it was frustrating seeing frequent reminders of why I am not pregnant yet still.

Right, back to silently lurking... That is if I check in regularly again.

 

[Fleur828815]

dede, I have no idea what I’d do… I’d be inclined to listen to the RE but did the doctor who did the biopsy give any reason for why you shouldn’t try? I had a missed miscarriage and a ERPC in October, and I also wavered between thinking “at least I can get pregnant” and “I’d rather not have been pregnant at all”. I finally settled on the second one because I thought, what was the point of hoping for a couple of months only to end up back to square one and deal with the emotional aftermath of a miscarriage. But I totally understand how you feel, it’s not easy in any case.

Kat, yeah, it would be cool if other countries offered subsidized or free IUI tries at least for the first child but I guess it’s not a priority for most governments. I don’t know the details about my friend’s treatment, I just know she has to do daily injections and get regular scans to monitor what’s happening. She doesn’t ovulate on her own so trying on her own is not an option, she goes straight for IUI each time. I hope that they get the timing right this month and do the insemination at the optimal time for you

MJs, congrats on your little girl ! I can understand why you were worried about having a daughter but this will be a different relationship, it won’t be a repeat of the one you have with your mom I’m sure that you’ll do everything so that she doesn’t have to go through what you yourself went through. And her Daddy sounds smitten already! So how did the gender reveal go? I’m sure everyone was very excited!

deafgal, hi! Glad to hear you’re doing ok. It must be very hard for you but we’d be happy to hear from you when you feel like checking in.

 

[KatO79]

My mom was out visiting for the last three days and of course it was a bit strained as usual...we don't get along very well for various reasons that I won't get into. But that's another reason I wasn't keen on having a daughter....I just feel like moms and their daughters are always at each other's throats. Hopefully it won't be that way with me and my little girl, but you just never know I guess. I know I'll be providing a MUCH more stable environment for my daughter than my parents did for me...and hopefully that will help.

Congrats MJs

I have a problematic relationship with my mother, she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder so everything is about her and she's always right to be emotionally/psychologically abusive towards me. I figured it out back in August/September 2013 after a recent fall out. I've been working on myself and coming to terms that she'll never be the loving mother I needed/need and that I need to mother myself and otherwise surround myself with people who love and respect me for who I am. I'm otherwise slightly most hoping we have a daughter so I can experience a loving and respectful mother-daughter relationship. I've reached the point that I know that things can be different and, most importantly, that they will be different! I will never put my child through what my mother did and does put me through!

It's all up to you how that relationship will be. If you need to talk to someone like a therapist to work any issues out then do it. Do whatever it takes so you can have a good relationship with your daughter and not put her through what you were put through. A stable home is good, a loving mother that loves her unconditionally is the most important for how a daughter develops and sees herself. It's actually vital for how the daughter sees herself in the future. You need to reach the point that you know that things can be different. Otherwise you risk making the same mistakes your mother did and creating a problematic relationship.

Kat, yeah, it would be cool if other countries offered subsidized or free IUI tries at least for the first child but I guess it’s not a priority for most governments. I don’t know the details about my friend’s treatment, I just know she has to do daily injections and get regular scans to monitor what’s happening. She doesn’t ovulate on her own so trying on her own is not an option, she goes straight for IUI each time. I hope that they get the timing right this month and do the insemination at the optimal time for you

Thanks I'm hoping that the timing is the last piece to this puzzle now that they've found the right dose of Puregon. I hope your friend soon succeeds in her IUI treatments. Those are definitely not fun with all the injections and U/Ss Especially when you go through all that and it's BFN after BFN It's a bit worse than natural TTCing (that is if you're not a LTTTCer) in my opinion.

I think the only reason Denmark has it is because of the falling birth rates as I mentioned. At one point they made it so people had to pay themselves but went back to the "free" tries because people aren't having enough children.

 

[Mrs. Tigger]

Hi Ladies

Just checking in here. Been traveling and came back with a bout of food poisoning. I'm over that now, but have gotten a cold (I think from one of the colleagues I was traveling with). Oh well.

At least this week I have off of work

It's CD14 here and I've just come off of a couple of days ago. It's not believed that I ovulate, though, so just NTNP while I focus on the weight loss part of our journey (and focus on enjoying travel, work, etc, in the meantime). My last weigh-in shows I've only got 20 kg to go now (I've lost 35) so I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

I hope you are all doing well. I'm a bit out of the loop, but I am happy to see the great news from those who have had some to share, and to those who are facing bad news.

EDIT: My CD3 blood work came back and I wasn't notified of anything about my Thyroid (they said they'd only contact me about my thyroid if the numbers were off and I needed treatment). I'll contact them next week just to double-check that I didn't miss a phone call, though, to be sure, but it looks like I might not need thyroid medication afterall I wasn't looking forward to battling hypothyroidism *and* PCOS They did contact me about having a bit of a Vitmain D deficiency, so I started extra Vitamin D tablets yesterday as per doctor's orders. Vitamin D deficiency is common in Denmark where we have very dark winters.

 

[dede3124]

Fluer - the person that did the biopsy said that the procedure disrupted the endometrium and would make so implantation couldn't happen. I have called the re and hoping that he calls me back. I would love to not lose a month of trying but don't want to push it and get am infection and will ovulate today or tomorrow.... I am overwhelmed by the limbo.

As for my friend, and everyone, a miscarriage would be heartbreaking. I think it is the jealous person coming out in me. I am literally surrounded by pregnant people and hear if another one nearly every week so I think that has worn me down a bit. I am so afraid that it will not happen for us....I started this process at an age that if felt like we could have 2 if we wanted but now feel like I am pushing the clock for even one. It might help to even know if it was possible to get pregnant....but I do know darn well that's only part of the battle.... And would certainly never want to be callous or cruel about anyones loss.

Good luck all!

 

[dede3124]

Re called.... We are out for this month.

 

[Fleur828815]

Kat, I agree, assisted conception does up your chances but it’s no walk in the park. I have another friend going through it, she’s 27 and has been trying for over a year (IUIs), it’s really hard for her too.

MrsTigger, I’m glad you won’t need thyroid medication, one less thing to worry about! I can well believe lots of people suffer from Vit D deficiency in Scandinavian countries… Even in France they give vit D supplements to babies up till a year I think. How’s the travel going? Hope that you’ll get rid of your cold quickly and will be able to make the most of your week off.

dede, sorry that the RE told you to skip this month out I know how hard it is to have to wait more but the risk must not be worth it. I hope this month will fly by and that next month you’ll be able to give it a good try. Don’t worry about sounding jealous, it’s human nature to compare. Not knowing if my pregnancy will go well, I still feel jealous when I hear pregnancy news or see pregnant ladies! I also tell myself that maybe the miscarriage wouldn't have been so hard if I already had one child and knew I could carry to term, as if women who miscarry during their second/third pregnancies don’t feel so bad about their loss…crazy thoughts!

 

[drjo718]

Well i guess it's a good thing I can't really ttc right now, bc I've just been diagnosed with pneumonia! My opks are almost positive but not sure theyre quite there yet. I'm temping so that should tell me, but they've been rocky lately bc of the fever. This whole cycle is a mess haha

 

[KatO79]

Hi Ladies

Just checking in here. Been traveling and came back with a bout of food poisoning. I'm over that now, but have gotten a cold (I think from one of the colleagues I was traveling with). Oh well.

At least this week I have off of work

It's CD14 here and I've just come off of a couple of days ago. It's not believed that I ovulate, though, so just NTNP while I focus on the weight loss part of our journey (and focus on enjoying travel, work, etc, in the meantime). My last weigh-in shows I've only got 20 kg to go now (I've lost 35) so I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

I hope you are all doing well. I'm a bit out of the loop, but I am happy to see the great news from those who have had some to share, and to those who are facing bad news.

EDIT: My CD3 blood work came back and I wasn't notified of anything about my Thyroid (they said they'd only contact me about my thyroid if the numbers were off and I needed treatment). I'll contact them next week just to double-check that I didn't miss a phone call, though, to be sure, but it looks like I might not need thyroid medication afterall I wasn't looking forward to battling hypothyroidism *and* PCOS They did contact me about having a bit of a Vitmain D deficiency, so I started extra Vitamin D tablets yesterday as per doctor's orders. Vitamin D deficiency is common in Denmark where we have very dark winters.

So glad to hear you most likely won't be needing medication

I was also advised by my RE to take extra Vitamin D, I think everyone TTCing really should. I'm also taking extra Vitamin C on her recommendation as well. And it sounds like the weight loss is going really well, congrats

Kat, I agree, assisted conception does up your chances but it’s no walk in the park. I have another friend going through it, she’s 27 and has been trying for over a year (IUIs), it’s really hard for her too.

Well it ups them compared to continuing to try naturally (since your chances gradually decrease) but the chances for IUI are between 15-20%, depending on your age and reason for infertility I guess. So technically the chances are about the same as they would be for a woman just starting out on TTCing naturally. Still better than the 6% my chances were before doing IUI (according to age and length of TTCing).

I hope she also soon succeeds as well, it's totally not fun to keep trying and having to consider doing IVF instead

I'm still hoping one of these IUIs works as IVF sounds a good deal worse but of course we'll do it if the next 3 IUIs fail.

 

[EElse]

Hi ladies!

Kat: Good luck this cycle. I really hope that this 4th IUI is the one for you!

Fleur: Thanks! My cycles seem to have settled down to 35/36 days and O day on CD22 (which would be Friday the 10th). If we weren't TTC I would rejoice at having the only show up every 36 days but while TTC it really is a pain... How are you doing? Is it 9 weeks now or 10? I'm afraid I've lost count...

Mrs Tigger: I'm glad to hear that you might not need medication for thyroid problems! Good luck with the rest of your weight-loss journey and congratulations on the 30 you've already lost!!
Does the Vitamin D deficiency influence fertility? Should we have ours checked? I do get out in the sun about three times a week - where it is more than just getting in and out of a car - walking, playing bowls, etc... so I'm hoping that would be enough... If it does influence fertility, should DH also have his checked or is it mostly the woman who is influenced be this?

dede: Sorry that you're out! to you!

drjo718: Sorry to hear about the pneumonia! Good luck to you!

MJs: Congrats on your little girl! May the rest of your pregnancy proceed with health and happiness.

AFM: CD13 - waiting for CD22 (O day) - Nothing interesting...

 

[KatO79]

EElse: From what I can read from the net, it seems that Vitamin D deficiency is linked to both female and male infertility:

Vitamin D Deficiency Linked to Infertility


As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, toxic chemicals are not the only factors that play a part in rising infertility rates. In recent years, researchers have also identified vitamin D as an integral part of men's reproductive health.

You may have heard that pregnant women are advised to get more vitamin D to promote fertility and ensure a healthy baby, but vitamin D is equally important for the father-to-be!

One 2008 infertility study revealed that vitamin D deficiency is common among men who are unable to impregnate their partners—almost a third of the 800 infertile men included in the study had lower than normal levels of vitamin D.

(Bear in mind here that "normal" does not equal "optimal." So, by optimal standards, the rate of vitamin D deficiency was likely far higher than one-third.)

According to lead researcher Dr. Anne Clark, a fertility specialist:


"Vitamin D and folate deficiency are known to be associated with infertility in women, but the outcomes of the screening among men in our study group came as a complete surprise. Men in the study group who agreed to make lifestyle changes and take dietary supplements had surprisingly good fertility outcomes."

In fact, of the 100 men who agreed to make and maintain certain lifestyle changes for three months prior to fertility treatment, 11 of them went on to achieve pregnancy naturally, without IVF treatment.

Lifestyle changes included quitting smoking, minimizing intake of caffeine and alcohol, weight reduction, along with a course of vitamins and antioxidants.


"The results clearly show that lifestyle changes and dietary supplements can be beneficial for the conception of a healthy on-going pregnancy," Dr Clark said.

Another study published in November 2009 confirms these results as researchers discovered that human sperm does in fact have a vitamin D receptor.

Analysis also indicated that vitamin D is produced locally in the sperm, which suggests that vitamin D may be involved in the signaling between cells in the reproductive system. According to the authors, the study revealed "an unexpected significance of this hormone [vitamin D] in the acquisition of fertilizing ability," and the results imply that vitamin D is involved in a variety of sperm signaling pathways.

Fertility – What Does Vitamins Have to Do With It?


So, it now seems quite clear you can add infertility to the list of health ailments that are made worse by too little sun exposure. But other vitamins and minerals can also be helpful in this area.

For example, did you know that vitamin C increases sperm quality and mobility?


Vitamin C -- In one study, infertile men who were given 1,000 mg of vitamin C twice daily improved their sperm count, sperm motility, and sperm morphology.

The researchers stated vitamin C could be important as an additional supplement to improve semen quality and increase chances of a natural conception. Vitamin C is abundant in oranges, strawberries and sweet potatoes.

Vitamin E & Selenium -- Vitamin E and selenium can also improve sperm motility. One study published in the Archives of Andrology confirmed the protective and beneficial effects of vitamin E and selenium on semen quality, and supported their use in male infertility treatment.

Men who are deficient in vitamin B12 can also suffer from poor motility (where the sperm don't swim very well) so it is thought that taking this vitamin may be helpful as well.

Zinc -- If low testosterone is the cause, zinc may help. In one study, 37 infertile men were given 60mgs of zinc a day for six weeks. 22 of the men with low testosterone dramatically increased their sperm counts and their testosterone, and 9 out of the 22 spouses became pregnant during the study. Good sources of zinc include nuts and seeds.

Antioxidants—In addition to Dr. Clark's study above, other studies have confirmed the benefits of antioxidants for male reproductive health. According to researchers at the University of Portsmouth, one bowl of tomato soup—which is high in lycopene—per day can boost a man's fertility up to 12 percent. It's believed that antioxidants may remove free radicals that have a negative impact on sperm.

As usual, if you want to try the vitamin therapy approach, I recommend you try to get most of your vitamins naturally, from the food you eat. A whole food diet based on your nutritional type, and avoiding processed foods, is the best way to ensure you're getting sufficient amounts of essential vitamins and minerals.

In the case of vitamin D, your best source is sun exposure. However, during winter months you may need to take a supplement, or use a safe tanning bed to maintain optimal vitamin D levels.

My RE recommended, especially for me, to take a total of 35 mcg Vitamin D and 500 mg Vitamin C (I'm actually taking a little bit more than that of each though). She said it was especially important during the winter to get extra Vitamin D because we don't get much sun up here. But as you can see, Vitamin C deficiency may also be linked to infertility, in both sexes.

 

[dede3124]

Thanks Fluer and eelse. I go back for another ultra sound today to be sure polyps and what not are gone. I think my issue is partly that I didn't know the biopsy would put us out for the month until I was on the table and it is was not something I prepared for. In regards to my friend, she has one child already and I think they conceived the first or second month of trying. I also told myself for a long time.....you will be pregnant by 34 and I turned 34 yesterday. I know deadlines are not good but it was a comfort. I also need to keep telling myself we have only had one cycle after surgery so far. We have talked about timed intercourse assisted cycles with the re. Being out this month makes we want to start those sooner which is weird lol but I think I am just in hurry lol I read it all the time but who knew this would be so hard!

 

[dede3124]

More....just did a follow up ultrasound and tech freaking thinks she found a polyp....she told me it not likely they grew back already but may have been missed in my d&c. I don't even know what to think.

And more....I have one friend I can turn to. Was thinking about texting her. Checked my Facebook and the first thing in the news feed was her daughter announcing her pregnancy. Second one for the week and I feel like I can't turn to my friend.

All positivity is gone....over and out.