Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[cutestuff]

So glad I can help sugargully. Its a strange process and you don't really relax until you meet the little person. There is a lot of anxiety or can be once you get that bfp because you don't beleive its real or really happening to you and I personally still find myself thinking about all the things that can go wrong. I do hope my story helps others but there is no way to predict a persons fertility or journey to pregnancy. I do hope to see more bfps though and will offer whatever suport I can to all of you

 

[KatO79]

AF is on her way but I had a feeling she would so not too disappointed I honestly think we have an issue and really do need IVF to get pregnant.

AF is definitely delayed by at least 1 day which is good I'm hoping she'll be delayed again by 1-2 days more next cycle as well (normally have 26-27 day cycles) so if we'll be doing the short protocol, we can start right after our 1st meeting with the RE.

 

[ireadyermind]

I'm finally past the 1 month waiting period my OB insisted on, so it's back to OPKs for me today! I seem to have caught a cold, however, and it's screwed up my sleep cycles and my temperatures, so I gave up temping for a few days.

Have heard you get pregnant faster after a MC. I'm not sure if there's any truth to that, but we'll see what happens!

FX'd for all of us!

 

[awnmyown]

Just nearing my 30.5 year old mark. Hubby is 32.5 and we just are getting started. I really, really hope that it's not a super long journey, and like all the ladies, yup, I'm worried that maybe it's too late and won't happen. But like many of you, I also wouldn't change my life either. I chose to wait for this man, and to be married and have our home. With or without children, we will have a good marriage, and we both have agreed that we'd try IVF twice before moving on to adoption. No children is not really an option for us, but we're okay with adopted children for our family. I'm excited to start this adventure with him. Here's hoping for babies all around.

 

[psychochick]

Just nearing my 30.5 year old mark. Hubby is 32.5 and we just are getting started. I really, really hope that it's not a super long journey, and like all the ladies, yup, I'm worried that maybe it's too late and won't happen. But like many of you, I also wouldn't change my life either. I chose to wait for this man, and to be married and have our home. With or without children, we will have a good marriage, and we both have agreed that we'd try IVF twice before moving on to adoption. No children is not really an option for us, but we're okay with adopted children for our family. I'm excited to start this adventure with him. Here's hoping for babies all around.

Wow you already discussed IVF? I wouldn't worry that much. Lots of people conceive easily in 30's. And even if not, just a matter of time. We've never discussed IVF mostly because I think if we are infertile, the treatment should depend on the reason, so we'll see what happens. But a good thing with doing this now is that we have more money saved up than before so we can actually afford expensive treatments. Definitely hope we won't need it.

We have, however, discussed adoption and I think we're both okay with it but I'd definitely try pretty hard to have my own kids first before adoption. The end goal here is definitely to build a family, my own kids or not, but I'd definitely like to meet my own kids.

 

[deafgal01]

Speak for yourself, psycho... I've been trying for years and still haven't had any luck. Then again we have a male infertility issue that is preventing any pregnancy from ever happening so I've been "out" before we even bothered to start trying anyways.

I don't think people get pregnant easily in their 30s just because they can. I don't mean to bring the balloons down and be a party pooper but I'm just trying to be realistic.

awn- my piece of advice, if after 6 months of seriously trying (with use of opk and everything) nothing happens, get to a dr to be checked out (both of you). I know when people are over the age of 30, the drs will take a look after 6 months if nothing happens.

 

[KatO79]

Speak for yourself, psycho... I've been trying for years and still haven't had any luck. Then again we have a male infertility issue that is preventing any pregnancy from ever happening so I've been "out" before we even bothered to start trying anyways.

I don't think people get pregnant easily in their 30s just because they can. I don't mean to bring the balloons down and be a party pooper but I'm just trying to be realistic.

awn- my piece of advice, if after 6 months of seriously trying (with use of opk and everything) nothing happens, get to a dr to be checked out (both of you). I know when people are over the age of 30, the drs will take a look after 6 months if nothing happens.

Totally agree with deafgal I started trying at age almost 34½ and here I am 2 years and 6 failed IUIs later going to soon start IVF (hopefully October, otherwise November). My hormones and tubes are fine, my DHs SA showed normal although on the low end of normal. It's a myth that you will first have issues when you're close to 40. I've seen people here that had problems in their early/mid-20s and some at age mid-30s that conceive after 2-3 months. Infertility can hit at any age! Although chances for conceiving do decrease in your 30s and once you're about 35, your fertility has halved!

Another thing psychochick, REs can't always determine the reason for infertility. My DH and I are considered "unexplained infertility" because they can't find the exact reason, partially because you can't test the woman for every reason and they don't know everything about the process (the fertilized egg implanting or not). If you have at least one tube open, they'll often try IUI (unless you have a severe male infertility issue) but if IUIs don't work then they move you on to IVF/ICSI.

AFM I'm pretty sure I Oed really late Monday or very early Tuesday so it's a waiting game again Although we last BDed late Saturday night so not too hopeful but the again, I never am

Otherwise looking forward to that IVF start meeting and only about 1½ weeks to go Still trying to come up with more questions and otherwise prodding DH to read about IVF so he can see if he has any questions for the RE Worst case I'll take some paper and pens with me so he can write down any questions while hearing about IVF from whoever is going to be holding the presentation before the individual meeting with the RE.

 

[ireadyermind]

Just nearing my 30.5 year old mark. Hubby is 32.5 and we just are getting started. I really, really hope that it's not a super long journey, and like all the ladies, yup, I'm worried that maybe it's too late and won't happen. But like many of you, I also wouldn't change my life either. I chose to wait for this man, and to be married and have our home. With or without children, we will have a good marriage, and we both have agreed that we'd try IVF twice before moving on to adoption. No children is not really an option for us, but we're okay with adopted children for our family. I'm excited to start this adventure with him. Here's hoping for babies all around.

Everyone's a little bit different, but I'm going to be 31 this December and DH and I have been TTC about a year. We were just about to be referred to a specialist when I got my first BFP in July. That one ended in MC but now that we know I can get pregnant on my own, DH and I are going to keep trying.

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is take your vitamins, drink plenty of water, and avoid unhealthy things as much as possible. Make sure DH is wearing loose under-things so that his swimmers aren't overheated, make sure he is taking a multi-vitamin too, and give it time.

And if you haven't conceived within 6 months, yes. Go get everything checked out just to make sure that there aren't any issues.

But don't "borrow trouble", as they say! Don't start worrying over something that might not even be an issue. The stress isn't healthy for you even if you aren't TTC.

 

[psychochick]

Oh hm interesting. deafgal and Kat: Sorry if I came off dismissive, I know of people getting pregnant in 30's with various degrees of success. The couple I know who had undergone IVF were actually in their 20's. I myself just turned 30 and haven't gotten pregnant yet and as I can feel my body aging, I wonder if it would've been easier when I was younger But my personal mentality is not to worry before knowing the specific facts, so I was mostly advocating for that.

 

[KatO79]

Oh hm interesting. deafgal and Kat: Sorry if I came off dismissive, I know of people getting pregnant in 30's with various degrees of success. The couple I know who had undergone IVF were actually in their 20's. I myself just turned 30 and haven't gotten pregnant yet and as I can feel my body aging, I wonder if it would've been easier when I was younger But my personal mentality is not to worry before knowing the specific facts, so I was mostly advocating for that.

Ah OK, I think it was mostly your comment "Lots of people conceive easily in 30's" that had us a bit worried because that's definitely not true If anything, it's generally harder than in your 20s.

Yes it probably would've been easier for most of us to have started TTCing in our 20s although I'm sure we all have had our own reasons for waiting. Although it's never for sure. Like perhaps I would've had the same issues in my 20s, it's impossible to know really Nothing to be done now though.

I hope you do have an easy time though! I can vouch for how much it stinks to be a LTTTC'er, especially at my age where you can really hear the clock ticking I'd say definitely don't wait much more than 1 year before seeking help though, just in case.

 

[psychochick]

KatO: Haha well, my friends in relationships have gotten pregnant at 30, seems to be a popular age for pregnancy around here so I always assumed it was somewhat "normal" age. I personally wanted to start trying late 20's but was too busy dodging the bullet that was my last relationship :X But I think that experience also taught me that I couldn't anticipate/plan everything. I'm generally pretty type A control freak about most things, but have had to work on not beating myself up for things I couldn't control. So I'm definitely trying to apply that to TTC

Hope your upcoming IVF is a success Will be here waiting for updates.

 

[magicalmom2be]

Hello everyone!

I'm 30.5 years old with DP who's 34...and we'll be TTC #1 starting next cycle. I've had fertility issues since my early 20s, stemming from tubal blockage, and eventually had a tubal pregnancy which resulted in a lost baby and lost tube. For the past several years, I've focused on removing the blockage from my remaining tube through natural remedies. Aspiring to be a mommy of 4....

 

[KatO79]

KatO: Haha well, my friends in relationships have gotten pregnant at 30, seems to be a popular age for pregnancy around here so I always assumed it was somewhat "normal" age. I personally wanted to start trying late 20's but was too busy dodging the bullet that was my last relationship :X But I think that experience also taught me that I couldn't anticipate/plan everything. I'm generally pretty type A control freak about most things, but have had to work on not beating myself up for things I couldn't control. So I'm definitely trying to apply that to TTC

Hope your upcoming IVF is a success Will be here waiting for updates.

Yeah I think most people do wait until their 30s to TTC. Unfortunately nature has made our most fertile time to be in our 20s which is for the most part out of step with modern society

Yes I can see why you waited in that case. Nothing worse than having a child in a bad relationship if it can be avoided.

TTC is pretty much not something you can control. You can up your odds with e.g. BD timing and such but there's still only a 15-20% chance of pregnancy each month, depending also on your age, even if you do everything "right." Those chances do decrease though the longer you've been TTCing so my chances for getting pregnant naturally at 36 and having tried for almost 2 years are pretty abysmal right now (around 3-6%). IVF will up my odds to 30-40% each round I believe if I remember the hospital's brochure correctly (with a 70% chance of achieving a pregnancy after end treatment of 3 fresh IVFs plus whatever amount of FETs are possible).

Thanks, I will be sure to keep everyone updated

Hello everyone!

I'm 30.5 years old with DP who's 34...and we'll be TTC #1 starting next cycle. I've had fertility issues since my early 20s, stemming from tubal blockage, and eventually had a tubal pregnancy which resulted in a lost baby and lost tube. For the past several years, I've focused on removing the blockage from my remaining tube through natural remedies. Aspiring to be a mommy of 4....

Welcome magicalmom2be So sorry to hear about your tubal pregnancy I hope you soon succeed in getting that BFP

 

[Hollynesss]

I actually agree with psychochick. Far more of my friends in their 30s have had an easy time conceiving than those that have struggled. The majority of people my age that I know have also waited until their late 20s/early 30s to start having kids.

That said, no two journeys are alike, and you never truly know others' stories. That's what makes forums like this so great. There is solidarity in meeting other women whose story is similar to your own, and it makes it a little bit easier to know that you're not alone. Whether someone conceived easily, is struggling, or cannot conceive, we are stronger when we support each other, listen to each other, and lift each other up.

 

[ireadyermind]

Hollyness & Psychochick -- I agree with you. I have several friends who are my age or older who have recently had babies, are currently pregnant, or have children under 1 year of age. At this point, the only other person I know with fertility problems besides me is my sister in law, and she and her DH used fertility meds and had TRIPLETS last December.

When I worked in Retail, my store manager had two babies after age 40. My mother had my youngest sister at age 33 and my aunt had her youngest son at something like 35?

I think that fertility issues are the exception to the rule, not the rule. It's just that people who are having a hard time with their fertility are looking for support, and they find these kinds of forums for that reason. So there are more of us here with problems than there are those of us who are perfectly fine.

However, that being said -- fertility is at its peak in your 20s and it does begin to decline in your 30s.

I'm not dismissing the problems that any of us (myself included!) are having in getting pregnant after age 30. I'm simply saying that we shouldn't all automatically assume that there are going to be problems with pregnancy simply because our age rolled over from 29 to 30.


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Update on this month for me: I'm in the TWW, 8dpo right now, and I thought I was doing a really good job of not symptom spotting in this TWW, but this morning it was a little bit difficult not to use an HPT!

The past week I've had trouble sleeping, I've been getting up at night to pee, and there are a few other things that mirror my symptoms of when I got a BFP in July. But I'm trying to be good and wait a few more days to see what happens.

 

[deafgal01]

I am glad we all can openly discuss things here. It is nice to hear everyone's thoughts.

That's a good point about not borrowing trouble (worrying about it before you get there type of thing).

 

[psychochick]

Thanks for sharing your stories. I joined this forum mainly because I had the misconception that pregnancy is ridiculously easy. I spent so much of my adult life diligently using contraceptives and even thinking the ~97% prevention rate of condoms may not be enough haha. Even though my gyno told me it would be normal to take a year I didn't quite believe her; I guess you don't exactly ask your friends how long it took them to conceive. Being on this forum helps me feel normal for being a little crazy during TWW and reassures me to not stress out about not getting pregnant right away.

I think it helps that everyone I know who wants kids eventually gets them, even though it's much harder for some than others. My friend's mom told her to start trying before she's completely ready because her mom tried for a year for her #1 (in her 20's), and then went on to have 3 kids after that without a glitch. Of course my friend did start trying early and got it first try haha.

Actually a little offtopic: I have a coworker who has 3 kids with his wife, conceived all first try in their 30's; last one was actually an accident. Worst marriage ever, I think his wife is a little nuts honestly (and this is not a he said/she said thing, she's done some nutty things.) His brother on the other hand, great marriage, but had a lot of fertility issues, they underwent a lot of fertility treatments in their 20's and had two kids, and then adopted 1 more! When I hear things like this I wonder if evolution/nature may be blessing the wrong people with good fertility! But this also tells me that nothing in life is easy and to build a good family you always have to work hard at it. So, here's to working hard

 

[deafgal01]

Psycho - here's hoping you won't be waiting too long for your bfp!

 

[MKaykes]

Hi ladies - I'm new to this post and relatively new to the site. I'm 32 TTC#1, been married just over a year and debated after last Christmas whether we should wait for me to go of bcps or just take the plunge...glad we did since no luck conceiving. After friends started trying, I realized just how HARD it can be for many to get pregnant...and many of us spend so much time preventing it, only to find it may not happen in the blink of an eye. Other woman in my family (mom and sister) got pregnant at the snap of a finger, though in their 20s. Looking at the overall family history though, my grandmothers on both sides and great grandmothers on both sides conceived late into their 30s, so feeling hopeful!

Thankfully I have regular cycles, and OPKs and temping have been indicating O'ing so, guess we just wait for the right time.

Glad that there are these forums so we can find support with ladies in a similar situation.

 

[KatO79]

Hollyness & Psychochick -- I agree with you. I have several friends who are my age or older who have recently had babies, are currently pregnant, or have children under 1 year of age. At this point, the only other person I know with fertility problems besides me is my sister in law, and she and her DH used fertility meds and had TRIPLETS last December.

When I worked in Retail, my store manager had two babies after age 40. My mother had my youngest sister at age 33 and my aunt had her youngest son at something like 35?

I think that fertility issues are the exception to the rule, not the rule. It's just that people who are having a hard time with their fertility are looking for support, and they find these kinds of forums for that reason. So there are more of us here with problems than there are those of us who are perfectly fine.

However, that being said -- fertility is at its peak in your 20s and it does begin to decline in your 30s.

I'm not dismissing the problems that any of us (myself included!) are having in getting pregnant after age 30. I'm simply saying that we shouldn't all automatically assume that there are going to be problems with pregnancy simply because our age rolled over from 29 to 30.

Wow after 40 many do have issues so sounds like she was lucky. Were they naturally conceived or did she have help?

I have read though that once you've had 1 baby, it's generally easier to conceive the rest, even up to your 30s and 40s. My NPD mother started at 18 and had me at 42. But if you're trying for baby #1 in your 30s, it's generally harder.

I wasn't stating either that it's a sharp shift from e.g age 29 to 30, it's of course gradual and varies from person to person how fast the decrease goes. However it, as we agree, does decrease at a varied rate from your 20s to 30s to 40s.

I wasn't saying either to assume you'll have problems in your 30s, I was merely stating that the chances for fertility issues do increase in that age group (compred to your 20s) and to not assume it's going to be easy-peasy either! I made that mistake and I think I would've handled those initial months of discovering we had a problem better if I hadn't been so super positive and sure of our chances. So was just saying don't assume it'll be easy just because it was easy for other people you know in that age group.