anyone ttc or ntnp before there child is a year old?

[HAKing]

Jordyn, I agree with that advice not to push your child to potty train until they are ready otherwise they can go backwards and end up taking longer to train in the long run. I've always heard the saying "start at 2, be done at 3. Start at 3 be done at 3" So sometimes waiting is better.

I don't think that makes you a bad mom either that you would be disappointed and will find out the sex of the next one. Gender disappointment very real!

Vanessa, my thoughts going into baby #3 will be that I'm expecting a boy and will be pleasantly surprised if it is girl!

But I agree the excitement of not knowing what you have until the baby is born sounds so fun! I sorta wish we did it with the first 2 but I know I wouldn't have been able to!

 

[Pielette]

Heather it's funny how I feel perfectly content and happy to stay team yellow this time but I couldn't have on the last two goes!

We went out this afternoon with two of my best friends to a shopping centre nearby and it's the first time I've realised how Milo really isn't a baby anymore! I have a double pushchair which I set up as a double so Noah can use it if he needs to but most of the time he doesn't, and Milo got very angry that Noah was allowed to walk and he wasn't!

So I had to let him but oh my goodness I hadn't realised how feisty he can be, and how different he is to Noah! Noah is so trustworthy and just trots along with us. He holds hands if requested and always outside on roads etc. And he's always been like that, I've never used reigns with him.

Milo... Stubborn, feisty little monkey! He was determined he was going wherever he wanted and went crazy if I tried to steer him or hold his hand. Think I may need to invest in some reigns! Thing is as well Noah was happy to be in the pushchair for much longer.

Have any of you ladies used reigns? I just can't trust him to stay where he should be!

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Vanessa, I've never used anything like that, but like you, I've never needed to so far. Alia is so afraid of everything, that she insists on either riding in the stroller, or holding on to it (if I have Liam in the little umbrella stroller). For the time being, Liam likes sitting in the stroller, but only if we're moving. If, heaven forbid, I stop walking for 10 seconds, he whines and thrashes around, trying to wriggle out if it. I have a feeling that he's not going to want to stay by my side like Alia does, so I may be looking into reigns soon enough, especially once Asher's born, and I'm trying to keep three little people safe and happy.

 

[HAKing]

Vanessa, Sam never allowed us to just keep him confined for very long. Most of the time he will stay near or if we are going somewhere and moving and I'm alone I will use the double stroller for the boys but if it is a quick trip I always just wear Ben and allow Sam to walk holding my hand. I'm not really sure what I'm gonna do soon when Ben is wanting to be walking too and one is gonna go one direction and the other another!

I refuse to put my children on a leash so most likely I'll just wear one and switch them off. DH and I rarely go out for a long period of time alone so its usually not too bad since there is always two of us to keep track of both of them.

I think since I've been wearing Ben basically since he was born its just natural for him that that will be his preference for a long time. I hope!

 

[Harley Quinn]

Oh, potty training. Ozzy has actually learned how to use the potty and will occasionally ask to use it. It kind of seems like he sees it as just something else he's learned how to do. I don't think he realizes yet that you're supposed to use the potty every time you pee or poop. Ha! So the next step for us will be to somehow get him to use it every time. Not sure how it's going to happen.

Heather, my brothers are 4 years apart from each other and they always played well together and got along nicely, so I think that 5 and 3.5 as age gaps will work well.

I'm seriously thinking about being team yellow for baby #3. But I'm not sure I can convince DH. He has already said he would want to know the gender, and I don't like the idea of him knowing and me not knowing. That would drive me nuts!

Vanessa, that's wonderful about Noah's speech improvement being so noticeable. You must have been a very proud mama in that moment! I also remember you talking about training to become a midwife. I love that idea! Not for myself, but I can see it's something you're passionate about, so I'm glad you've decided to do it. And I think becoming a peer BF consultant is also a great idea.

As for reigns, we do use them for Ozzy sometimes. I believe the official term for the one we have is "safety harness." It's an adorable little owl back pack that has a place to clip on the "leash," so it can be a safety harness or just a back pack. It's wonderful, and it has brought me so much peace of mind when taking him out for walks. We don't have the space right now to get anything bigger than a small little umbrella stroller, so we put Jimmy in there and Ozzy walks along with his owl pack on. (Or sometimes we put Ozzy in the stroller and Jimmy in the Baby Bjorn, but he's getting so big that it's starting to be impractical to do so... I think I'll look into a woven wrap for baby #3 so that we can wear him or her on our backs, but anyway...) He's gotten much better recently in terms of actually staying next to us while we're out an about (like, in the grocery store for example). But he still just loves to run and will sometimes take off without warning. We have a strict rule about holding hands while we're walking along the road or in a parking lot because it would just not be safe otherwise. He's a fast little guy, so like I said, the safety harness really does make him safe.

 

[Pielette]

Hmm yes the reigns thing is a tricky one. I don't like them much myself and it's been lovely not to have to use them with Noah. He's very good at walking with us and even if he gets a little ahead just telling him wait for mummy is enough for him to stop and wait. Milo however is a different issue.

I did use to wear him in the ergo but these days he will only go in it on my back and getting him in it on my own is nigh on impossible I would love to try a woven wrap for number 3. But when Dave saw me browsing wraps and ring slings he said to me, you have a moby and an ergo, why on earth do you need any more? Men, they have no idea

 

[Duejan2012]

Vanessa: I do remember you too mentioning about becoming a midwife. That's wonderful!! I absolutely would love that job. It's just not as popular here.... I will be a labor and delivery nurse though. I'm soo happy the boys are doing well!! And good for you for staying team yellow for this baby!! I too don't really have the will power I don't think to stay team yellow. About the harness well ok Natalia was always great!! She always stayed with us. Never ran off and held my hand when told. Even now. Jonathan on the other hand has never stayed with me. He touches everything and is sooo curious. My mil got us a pack pack similar to what Rachel said. But it has a monkey. I use it when we go to busy places and don't need to make a seen. The funny thing is when he has on the backpack he behaves much better. So we have been unhooking the "leash" part of it leaving the backpack and he behaves pretty well not knowing he's connected. I too use to be against rains for kids but it has been a life saver really. Especially when trying to hold Eva and etc.

My kids are good. Natalia has started kindergarden this year and loves it soo far. She brings home a different library book everyday for us to read. She has learned all the months of the year by a song she is learning all the sounds of all the letters! She lost her first baby tooth so got to play tooth fairy with her!! And she has a second tooth loose that she might be losing soon.

Jonathan is good too!! He is potty trained! He has accidents very rarely. But he was the one who started the interest in it. I think watching Natalia go and his older cousin helped him get interested in it. He is talking a lot more but still not like most kids his age. Again I'm thinking it's because of the different languages he's learning. He is a great big brother and is very protective of Eva lol. He is also getting his tonsils adenoids out and tubes in his ears in October 3.

Eva is doing very well. She started walking on her birthday like almost to the exact hour she was born. She is now 22lbs and 27 inches lol. She is just getting soo big and big she is getting attitude already. She has learned to throw a fit when I take something away. Haha.

Afm I am planning on opening a at home daycare so I can stay home with my kids and am in the process of getting licensed.

Jordyn: gender disappointment is normal. Completely normal. Those who say how can you have that feeling just really don't know. I agree with your friend you can't force children to potty train. You just add more anxiety to them scary them!! So you'll know when Alia is ready!

Heather: I'm sorry the ttc date got pushed back. I know what you mean. I really want one more and dh is still not totally sure he wants one more. I'm soo not ready to stop having kids. I'm so young still. And well I just hope he could make up his mind.

Rachel: I'm glad I'm not the only one using the backpack leash on my lo lol. It really does help. When are you officially going to start ttc?

Well my sister is coming tomorrow!!! I'm soo exited so I might be mia for awhile lol.

 

[Harley Quinn]

Stacey, I never thought I'd use a leash on my kids, but after meeting Ozzy I feel much better about using it than not! That's interesting that Jonathan behaves better with just the pack on. I'll have to give that a try.

As for when we will ttc, We haven't set an official date. Dh said he doesn't want two under two again, so I guess the earliest we would start would be February. I guess we'll see how we feel when the new year rolls around. We are starting to seriously consider moving, and I think I might want to wait until after we've moved and settled.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Yeah, the reigns/harnesses for kids was something I used to look down on when I didn't have kids, but now they just seem like a good safety measure if you have a kid who won't stay by your side. When Liam gets to the point where he's not in the stroller as much, I might look into one of those animal backpacks you ladies have mentioned, because I can already tell that Liam will be more of a wanderer than Alia.

I have a woven wrap, and when I've used it, it's been great. I just haven't needed to very much since I usually use my double stroller when I'm out, but now that I will have three, I may be using it more often. I just love how versatile it is.

Rachel, are you thinking about moving within the same city, or farther away?

 

[Harley Quinn]

I've been wanting a woven wrap mostly for when I'm at home. Sometimes when I get home from work, Jimmy attaches himself to me and will not let me put him down. It would be nice to wear him on my back so I can at least get dinner ready with both hands! I have a wrap, but it is a jersey material, so too stretchy for back carries. I never really got the hang of tying it either. If/when baby three comes along, I'd like to sell our Bjorne, snugli, and that jersey wrap and just get a woven one.

We are wanting a bigger place that is closer to my work. My commute is about 45 mins each way and I hate how much time and gas I am using up on driving. Plus, we need some extra space, mostly for storage. And I will only move if the new place has a dish washer! So, to answer your actual question, we will most likely be moving to a different city, but probably no more than an hour away from where we live now, so not a huge change.

 

[Pielette]

Wow Stacey I'm impressed that Jonathan is potty trained! It must be more of an incentive to see an older sibling doing it. An at home daycare sounds like a great move!

Haha Rachel that made me laugh about the dishwasher We didn't have one in our old flat and when we got the house we ordered one... Oh my gosh I hadn't been that excited for years! Bear in mind we'd lived in the flat for 6 years so I felt like I'd been washing up forever.

Those of you with woven wraps, are they easy to use? And is it easy to get baby on your back?

 

[Spiffynoodles]

I have a woven wrap, and not only did it come with a dvd, but there are TONS of youtube videos out there that show you step by step how to do certain wraps. I would suggest practicing a few times though with one of your older kids or a doll, though, because trying to learn with a newborn leads to a lot of frustration, as I discovered! But once you have the hang of it, it's not too bad.

Oh, and it's a little late, but here's my 30 week bump pic.

 

[Pielette]

Jordan you look gorgeous as ever when pregnant! Lovely pic

Thanks I'll have to check that out. I learned how to use the moby thanks to videos on YouTube, I had no idea until that point!

I'm so tired today Noah's sleeping is getting worse and worse. Every night he wakes up screaming, sometimes it's twice, sometimes 4 times and sometimes it takes an hour to settle him back down. It's been going on for about 8 months and think I'm slowly losing the plot. Don't know what to do anymore

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks Vanessa.

I'm sorry Noah has been sleeping so badly for you. Is he in a crib or a bed?

I know how you feel, though. Liam still wakes up crying about 4 times a night, and being pregnant with that broken sleep every night is just exhausting. Thankfully, my DH has been taking over a few times a week lately (when he saw how psycho I was becoming with no sleep ) so he sleeps on the couch with the monitors, while I'm in the room with the white noise machine blocking everything out. It's been a lifesaver.

 

[HAKing]

Stacey, I hope you enjoy your time with your sister! How long is she staying for?

Vanessa, I have a moby which I would assume is considered a woven wrap and I only really liked it while the boys were little. Its is way too stretchy and I never felt like they were that secure in it as they got heavier. Its amazing while they are tiny though. I use the Beco (similar to the Ergo) at least a few times a week while out and about and its seriously a gods sent! I didn't have it while the boys were too young but I don't think it is as practical for tiny babies...even with the insert.

I'm sorry Noah is sleeping bad for you lately. Is he in a crib or bed? Sam was waking up the past week and a half crying for no reason...and I would give him something to drink and he would go back to sleep...then I think I created a bad habit so he had to let him go back to crying it out. Only lasted one night, thankfully!

Jordyn, lovely bump! You look beautiful

Rachel, that's exciting about possibly moving! You are currently renting right now? Would you buy a place when you move?

So, last night we took the front off Sam's crib and had to put him back to bed a few times but he slept in his bed all night. I'm thinking about putting him in a big bed in the next few weeks once I can find one I like. He has learned how to climb out of the crib even with the mattress on the floor now So I think its about time. I think out of a lot of my friends that have kids Sam's age he is one of the few still in a crib. I've just really been avoiding it for the reason of having him up wandering and me getting little to no sleep! But I think its time. Wish me luck!

Ben is walking about 90% of the time now. Its so fun to see him walk and be a "big boy" Yesterday Sam went to preschool and I'm off work on Mondays so it was just Ben and I for a few hours...kinda nice to have that one-on-one bonding time!

 

[Pielette]

Thanks ladies, it is hard. He's been in a bed for about 9 months. He was always a fantastic sleeper up until about 8 months ago, so he was in the bed for about a month before it started. He loved the bed straight away and a seemed to understand from the beginning that he stayed in it until the morning so we've never had any issues on that front, he never gets out, he just calls for us (or screams more to the point).

I think we have generally been a bit too soft with him and that it is attention seeking but even when we leave him to cry, which we only do after we've been in a couple of times, he cries for about 3-5 minutes then goes back to sleep, but it doesn't stop the wake ups. They still keep happening. We've tried everything, cuddles, water, a nightlight, sitting beside him for a while, leaving him to cry - nothing stops it. Just exhausted now.

DH is great and we take it in turns but naturally we still both wake up because Noah's scream could wake the neighbours

That sounds like bliss to me Jordyn! That's really lovely of your husband. If I thought that would work for us I think we'd do that too, at least alternating nights but he's so loud I think he'd overcome white noise!

Heather good luck on the bed! It was a lot smoother for us than I thought it would be - sleeping issues aside, I don't think Noah's problems have anything to do with being in a bed. That sounds really nice to have some one on one time I'm starting a gym class with Milo on Thursday mornings while Noah's at preschool and I'm really looking forward to it because I've never done any classes with Milo. I hope he likes it!

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Heather, woven wraps are made with threads so they don't stretch, which makes them a little nicer (and more expensive, unfortunately!). I've seen people using them with their 2 and 3 years old on some of the tutorial videos! I heard that the mobys were nice for infants but not practical as they got older, so I invested in the woven wrap. I got mine from a website called Wrapsody (I think...) and they were a little cheaper than other options, but the reviews were really good.

That's great that Ben is walking so much now! It took Liam a little longer to learn how to walk than other kids, but once he did, he got really good at it right away. He's now working on running! Which leads to some pretty painful-looking face-plants.

Vanessa, does Noah have a few toys or stuffed animals in his room? I think Alia does pretty well because she knows if she wakes up, she can just play for a little while. She also gets up and just turns her light on sometimes, so we have to check to make sure it's off before we go to bed. That's so frustrating though, if you've already tried everything you can think of and none of it has worked.

 

[HAKing]

Jordyn, that makes sense about the woven wraps not being so stretchy. My moby is super stretchy and really is only ideal for an infant.

I always have looked at woven wraps and liked the idea but could never get the hang of them. Even with my moby I think there are about 4-5 different wraps but I only used one of them

Vanessa, I'm sorry Noah's sleeping has been such an issue. I agree with Jordyn about having some toys for him to play with if he wakes up. Sam has a ton of books in his room that we allow him to wake up and read if he night wakes and its seemed to work well.

Last night was night 2 of sleeping his own bed and it went surprisingly well. Never even woke up once Ben on the other hand was so grumpy and out of sorts last night that he didn't fall asleep until 10:20 when his normal bedtime is 8:30 I'm thinking his teeth are bothering him.

 

[Pielette]

Well the thing is he never gets out of his bed Even in the morning if we call him, he won't get out, you have to go in and get him. He does have stuffed animals and toys in his room but he generally doesn't take much notice of them.

I'm waiting on a referral for a pediatrician so hopefully I can get some advice on sleeping. Although to be fair I don't know what else there is to try. The only thing could be to leave him completely when he starts screaming (if it's attention seeking) but that really doesn't sit well with us in case he actually needs us. It's so hard to know what to do.

Heather that sounds great about Sam in his bed! It shocked me when it didn't bother Noah! I had built it up in my head to be a huge issue. Of course it all went downhill in a different way

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Vanessa, it may come down to just letting him scream for a few nights so he knows you won't be coming in every time he does it. I know it will be tough, and you'll probably feel horrible just listening to it but not doing anything, but if it were me, that's what I'd try. Plus, I'm not sure about you, but I can always hear a difference between angry screaming and actual pain/distress screaming with Alia.

Speaking of sleep, Liam only woke up once to eat last night! I'm really hoping that this means he's moving towards sleeping through the night, because it's not like we've got a whole lot of time before there will be another baby that will be keeping me up all night. I'd rather not be woken up by two babies.