Anyone watching this morning?

[stepmum]

I watched it and although I wouldn't vilify anyone who did it I just don't agree for me. I can't switch mummy mode off easily. Plus I did agree with the explanation that its something adult so should be kept seperate from the baby.

 

[Swanny]

I wouldn't do it. I don't even feel comfortable when LO is in the next room never mind in our bed! But that's jut my opinion.

 

[michellle1980]

hadnt even thought about it ashavent felt like dtd yet. wondering how i will when i do. lo is in cot next to bed. do you all tend to use another room? i assume thats what id do

 

[Mrs_Grissom]

I am sooooooooooooo pleased to read all your comments, I was starting to think there was something wrong with me I've been reading the this morning forum and also fb comments and apparently if you disagree with it being ok to have sex while your baby is in your bed you must also be a "bottlefeeding, buggy using, cot sleeping, disposable nappy and jarred food using, smoking, drinking chav" :O unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've read that those who disagree will cause more damage by not showing their children a healthy way to demonstrate love :O wtf???????????

Personally I didn't see it, I'm just taking the debate as "is it ok to have sex while your baby is in your bed?" but apparently the kid was 2.5 and sometimes awake?

I have worked in a school where a nursery boy (aged 3 not much older than this child) was caught doing something highly disturbing with another boy in a toilet cubicle, can't help but wonder if he saw it in a safe and loving way before he chose to copy it :/

 

[midori1999]

i think the idea of having sex in bed with your baby there is disgusting, sorry if it offends, but yes, if you look at child protection training, learning about abuse and neglect, letting them experience things outisde of their appropriate age group is classed as child abuse. for example watching innappropriate tv infront of them like porn ect. we have a child in my work who had a case opened, he is in a wheelchair and was subjected to being sat in a hotel room in his chair in the same room as his father whilst him and his gf DTD, im sorry i know the baby is more unaware but its the same set of standards. ALL IMO obvcourse.

I am sooooooooooooo pleased to read all your comments, I was starting to think there was something wrong with me I've been reading the this morning forum and also fb comments and apparently if you disagree with it being ok to have sex while your baby is in your bed you must also be a "bottlefeeding, buggy using, cot sleeping, disposable nappy and jarred food using, smoking, drinking chav" :O unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've read that those who disagree will cause more damage by not showing their children a healthy way to demonstrate love :O wtf???????????

Personally I didn't see it, I'm just taking the debate as "is it ok to have sex while your baby is in your bed?" but apparently the kid was 2.5 and sometimes awake?

I have worked in a school where a nursery boy (aged 3 not much older than this child) was caught doing something highly disturbing with another boy in a toilet cubicle, can't help but wonder if he saw it in a safe and loving way before he chose to copy it :/

That wasn't at all what the debate was. The lady interviewed said the child/baby was asleep at all times, except for one occasion where she was 2 (child is now 6) and she woke up. Obviously the parents immediately stopped when the child woke up, although the Mum did say they started again once the child was asleep again.

What the debate actually was was 'is it OK to have sex when your child is in your bed asleep' and it was relating to smaller children and babies.

Personally, I probably wouldn't do it (for a start, my baby is a very light sleeper and it would be likely to wake her up!) but I wouldn't rule it out and I wouldn't say it was wrong either. We are talking here about a child who is asleep and one that would certainly not be aware of anything going on if they were awake anyway, due to their age.

I think part of the problem here is that people are imagining rampant, energetic sex with the baby is the bed, whereas I would imagine most parents who do this are having the quieter, more loving and sensual type of sex. Certainly there have been times when my huabdn and I have been cuddled up 'spooning' and the baby is asleep next to me where it's all been very emotional and loving and making love/having sex seemed like it would be a very natural extension of that.

If people don't want to do it, that's fine. If people do want to, then that's fine too IMO and it is certainly not child abuse.

 

[sophie c]

just wondering why you quoted me?

x

 

[Mrs_Grissom]

just wondering why you quoted me?

x

I think it's because you mentioned the definition of child abuse and she was suggesting you were wrong. I got quoted too

 

[sophie c]

oh right, im just saying what ive been taught and learned during training in my job, like i said i didnt mean to offend, was just saying what i know, and my opinion.

xx

 

[Mummy Bean]

we have sex with LO in the same room but he in his basket, he also a very sound sleeper. deff couldnt do it with him in the bed...as not sure how one wud get in the mood?

Also we had plently of sex when i was 9 mnth...esp when i went overdue think we doing it 3/4 times a day to get baby out - doctor said best way to get him out so we went for it...lol

 

[bumpy_j]

I wouldn't - I had a travel cot next to our bed though. Don't think it's morally wrong or anything - would be different with an older, aware child. But I think it's a bit distasteful.

 

[omfgski]

.

 

[Courtcourt]

Just want to add that I remember a lot of things from my babyhood! Not newborn times but I remember crawling and my dad giving me bottles. Mostly from about 1 year, but flashes of earlier things. With that in mind I would NEVER! I'd be so afraid mine would remember it. I don't think most people do, but I do! ( can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday though, lol)

 

[hawalkden]

In our bed no. we don't co-sleep and LO is never in our bed. But he is still in our room and we have sex all the time. No so much now due to being 20 weeks pregnant and OH doesn't like hurting me or Pumpkin. So I don't think I can say much about it regarding being in the bed. But regards to LO's being in the room I think it's okay if under 12 months and their still sharing your room with you. Hence my LO would have been in bed asleep when Pumpkin was conceived. I didn't see the actual interview etc but it's not like my LO is 2-3 years old and seeing everything.

It's an ongoing debate I think.

 

[Loubpop]

Maybe we should all go and ask our parents if they dtd when we were in the room, under the age of 3 - when we were asleep - and see how many of us it affected. Would be very interesting.

 

[Button#]

I wouldn't but I don't co-sleep and LO would wake up. I don't see it as a problem though and I thought she came across very well.

 

[baby_mama87]

She did come across well i think that's why in the end she got the majority of votes. I definitely dont think it can be classed as child abuse, someone mentioned earlier about a poor boy being in a wheelchair in the same room as his dad! That is just sick and the child has no option but to see what is going on. That will obviously affect him. Personally for me I just couldn't get in the mood if my LO was in the same bed

 

[charleosgirl]

I wouldn't, and don't co-sleep anyway. Also imo they should move the baby or go to a different room

 

[Sparkes]

hadnt even thought about it ashavent felt like dtd yet. wondering how i will when i do. lo is in cot next to bed. do you all tend to use another room? i assume thats what id do

We used to have sex on the sofa downstairs when LO was asleep in our room, either that or we did it when LO when was at grandparents and we once did it in the back of the car- haha! When she was older and we moved into a bigger flat, she would fall asleep in our bed then we would put her in the cot then do it in our bed. I wouldn't even let her sleep on the sheets we had sex on, i'd have to change them before she came back into bed with us.

 

[midori1999]

oh right, im just saying what ive been taught and learned during training in my job, like i said i didnt mean to offend, was just saying what i know, and my opinion.

xx

I quoted you by accident actually...

However, that said, I have done lots of CP training and what you describe (boy in a wheelchair) is different. If a child of an age that can understand is made or allowed to watch anyone having sex, to watch porn or shown photographs of a sexual nature, it is regarded as child abuse. Quite rightly so. Having sex with a child who is not only asleep, but also who would be unaware and extremely unlikely to remember in future what had happened if they were to wake up (not to mention are unlikey to see very much as obviously the parents would stop immediately) would not be classed as abuse. Obviously it is not, otherwise social services and the police would have been waiting to arrest the woman that appeared on This Morning.

Just want to add that I remember a lot of things from my babyhood! Not newborn times but I remember crawling and my dad giving me bottles. Mostly from about 1 year, but flashes of earlier things. With that in mind I would NEVER! I'd be so afraid mine would remember it. I don't think most people do, but I do! ( can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday though, lol)

Interesting that you can rememeber those things.

Out of interest. Does it also mean you never have sex when your children are in the house at all, even when they're in bed at night asleep? Surely there's a chance they could walk in if you did?

 

[midori1999]

i think the idea of having sex in bed with your baby there is disgusting, sorry if it offends, but yes, if you look at child protection training, learning about abuse and neglect, letting them experience things outisde of their appropriate age group is classed as child abuse. for example watching innappropriate tv infront of them like porn ect. we have a child in my work who had a case opened, he is in a wheelchair and was subjected to being sat in a hotel room in his chair in the same room as his father whilst him and his gf DTD, im sorry i know the baby is more unaware but its the same set of standards. ALL IMO obvcourse.

I am sooooooooooooo pleased to read all your comments, I was starting to think there was something wrong with me I've been reading the this morning forum and also fb comments and apparently if you disagree with it being ok to have sex while your baby is in your bed you must also be a "bottlefeeding, buggy using, cot sleeping, disposable nappy and jarred food using, smoking, drinking chav" :O unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've read that those who disagree will cause more damage by not showing their children a healthy way to demonstrate love :O wtf???????????

Personally I didn't see it, I'm just taking the debate as "is it ok to have sex while your baby is in your bed?" but apparently the kid was 2.5 and sometimes awake?

I have worked in a school where a nursery boy (aged 3 not much older than this child) was caught doing something highly disturbing with another boy in a toilet cubicle, can't help but wonder if he saw it in a safe and loving way before he chose to copy it :/

That wasn't at all what the debate was. The lady interviewed said the child/baby was asleep at all times, except for one occasion where she was 2 (child is now 6) and she woke up. Obviously the parents immediately stopped when the child woke up, although the Mum did say they started again once the child was asleep again.

What the debate actually was was 'is it OK to have sex when your child is in your bed asleep' and it was relating to smaller children and babies.

Personally, I probably wouldn't do it (for a start, my baby is a very light sleeper and it would be likely to wake her up!) but I wouldn't rule it out and I wouldn't say it was wrong either. We are talking here about a child who is asleep and one that would certainly not be aware of anything going on if they were awake anyway, due to their age.

I think part of the problem here is that people are imagining rampant, energetic sex with the baby is the bed, whereas I would imagine most parents who do this are having the quieter, more loving and sensual type of sex. Certainly there have been times when my huabdn and I have been cuddled up 'spooning' and the baby is asleep next to me where it's all been very emotional and loving and making love/having sex seemed like it would be a very natural extension of that.

If people don't want to do it, that's fine. If people do want to, then that's fine too IMO and it is certainly not child abuse.

I don't think you can assume that really My comment was based on any sex not just the energetic kind

Fair enough. Perhaps you'd be happy to explain just what it is that is so wrong about it?