Anyone watching this morning?

[Weezie123]

We mus have very boring sex as I wouldn't mind my baby walking up and looking at it as all he would see is his naked parents cuddling! Ha ha

 

[NewMummyx]

So if its child abuse can someone please show me under what law?

If LO is asleep as long as we are quiet anything goes
We did DTD when he was sleeping in his cot, not awake and still dont when he is awake as i cant look as his innocent wee questioning face and get down and dirty
I wouldnt DTD with LO in the bed as id be afraid the movemnt would wake him up or we'd knock into him

 

[indy and lara]

Our daughter has never slept in our bed but did sleep in a cot next to our bed for 6 months. We never DTD with her in the room. It just doesn't lie right with either of us.

 

[meli1981]

i think its different when youre a co sleeper. of course we continued to have sex after lo was born, and as we coslept she was in bed with us. there was pillow between us, so it was not like she was right THERE! of course when she got older i would lie with her until she fell asleep and then we would dtd somewhere else tbh child abuse never crossed my mind, and it baffles me that people even think this way, its not like we were having really dirty sex or swapping partners in front of lo, we were making love like husband and wives do to show their love for each other. its not a sick thing! and yes we both got aroused but from each other not the baby!

 

[summer rain]

Amen. And what on earth do people think couples do in poorer countries where you're living in a 1 or 2 room house, hut or even a tent? Not really plausible to do it another room then is it? Xx

This was really riling me up on the FB page of this morning.

It is not sick, disgusting or abuse. If the baby is asleep whats the problem? How does the thin bars of a cot and a little distance make it all ok when in the bed not...its not like your doing it on the baby!

How do people think child rearing and reprodcung has been done prior to the last few hundred years that cots have been around.

Sex is just sex. Its a normal natural thing to do and its not dirty.

The british culture really needs to stop being so frigid and making sex a taboo. We have one of the worst STD rates and teen pregnancy rates around..maybe if sex wasnt such a big deal we wouldnt have those problems

 

[babyjan]

For those who think its wrong did you dtd whilst pregnant?
only cause i see no difference, sure the baby cant open their eyes and actually see you but their still there iykwim? x

Now that is just patronizing.

What's patronising ?


I agree Summerain, what would people do who don't have an extra room or a bathroom to go to? abstain from it completely because its apparently child abuse :/

 

[LittleBoo]

I'm a little confused by the patronizing comment I see no hint of... patronization... far too tired

 

[meli1981]

I won't get involved in the child abuse debate as I think the whole thing is silly and like others have said shows a very unnatural relationship with sex. So no more comments on that from me.

But I will say that categorically, there is NO chance of a baby remembering anything. Babies cognitive systems are still developing. A newborn can't even distinguish between themselves and others, let alone understand what his parents might be doing in bed beside them. Older babies might be watching and wondering so I personally would feel weird having an older baby in the room but they categorically will not remember. There is not one verified account of genuine memories from under the age of about 3. People usually think they have such memories but they have been shown time and time again to be false memories.

I have very clear memories from under the age of three! Very, very specific ones verified by my mom and dad. I can remember the reason I won't touch milk. I was about a year and a half according to my mom (when we were talking about why I don't drink milk. She never knew!). I woke up and my dad got me out of bed, gave me a cup of warm milk and I puked it up it was so gross. I still remember the chair we were sitting in, very vividly! That is just one of them. I've probably got 10 of those clear memories. Some were exciting things and some were just every day things, no reason to stand out. I wont bore you with them, but like I said, aside from some of the obvious exciting ones, I do have memories from this age. Brains are magical

They are indeed, I study them for a living. And I know it's uncomfortable to think of your own memories as false memories. But if those memories were genuine you would be unique in the world and should get yourself to your nearest memory lab asap. Brains simply don't work like that, they need time to mature.

I could say that I study brains for a living too! In fact, I study brains for a living. . Also what I dot understand is how one can be called crazy for thinking its gross to have sex with a baby in the room. Isnt everyone entitled to an opinion or do some of you feel threatened?

threatened how? how would you feel if someone said something you were doing was child abuse?

 

[special_kala]

The word your looking for is offended not threatened.

and to me it does seem a bit crazy that some people are so against this when actually sleeping next you children is the most natural thing in the world.....as is sex so obviously at some point those two things will happen at the same time.

The people who are saying its sick (this is more the people commenting on FB) to me are the sick ones because they are.sexualising a sleeping baby.

 

[indy and lara]

I don't think people who don't like it are sexualising babies. For me that would me something completely different such as dressing them inappropriately. We do have other rooms so it was no big deal to have sex elsewhere while she was sleeping in our room. Had we not then we would have found another solution, whatever that may be. It is just not something I am comfortable with- we all have things like that in our lives.

 

[sophie c]

i wasnt calling it child abuse i was comparing it to a case i know of, i wasnt accusing anyone of being a child abuser, its just my opinion and they are the facts im basing my opinion on. sorry for having an opinion.

 

[sophie c]

and no, i didnt have sex whilst the babies were in my room

 

[Brookey]

i wasnt calling it child abuse i was comparing it to a case i know of, i wasnt accusing anyone of being a child abuser, its just my opinion and they are the facts im basing my opinion on. sorry for having an opinion.

But the point is, you cant even compare it to child abuse. If a baby is asleep then they are not going to be aware that anything is going on

And even if they happen to wake up and see whats going on, they have no concept of "sex" so wont have a clue!

I can understand people who say that they dont feel comfortable having sex with the baby in the same room, thats fair enough. Whats annoying me, is all the people that are saying "its disgusting, its selfish, it borders on child abuse".

Of course people are going to get offended when the majority of mothers would never do anything to hurt their children. And in the grand scheme of things, is having sex with a baby in bed with you really that bad?

Someone must remember to send a memo to the thousands of families in India that are having sex with their children asleep in the same room.

 

[stepmum]

I don't think people who don't like it are sexualising babies. For me that would me something completely different such as dressing them inappropriately. We do have other rooms so it was no big deal to have sex elsewhere while she was sleeping in our room. Had we not then we would have found another solution, whatever that may be. It is just not something I am comfortable with- we all have things like that in our lives.

I don't think it's sexualising babies. I really wish this "sexualising babies" term would not be thrown around so flippantly when some people don't agree with something that others might. I've seen this before, baby bikinis, earrings, now sex in the same bed/room. There are ONE group of people who sexualise babies and they are the peadophiles. Not perfectly normal parents who just have a differing opinion to the next person. And I'm saying that in defense of the people who DO agree with doing it, because the same could be said for them also. But I don't believe it's true on either said of the fence.

FWIW We don't do it, but then we didn't do it in the same room either. Thats just MY boundaries. I'M just not comfy with it. Not doing it is NOT sexualising babies in the same way that doing it is NOT child abuse.

 

[moomin_troll]

I see it as no different to if ur having sex and ur baby is in the cot next to ur bed!
I never watch this morning but what a pointless thing to go on tv and talk about

 

[indy and lara]

I don't think people who don't like it are sexualising babies. For me that would me something completely different such as dressing them inappropriately. We do have other rooms so it was no big deal to have sex elsewhere while she was sleeping in our room. Had we not then we would have found another solution, whatever that may be. It is just not something I am comfortable with- we all have things like that in our lives.

I don't think it's sexualising babies. I really wish this "sexualising babies" term would not be thrown around so flippantly when some people don't agree with something that others might. I've seen this before, baby bikinis, earrings, now sex in the same bed/room. There are ONE group of people who sexualise babies and they are the peadophiles. Not perfectly normal parents who just have a differing opinion to the next person. And I'm saying that in defense of the people who DO agree with doing it, because the same could be said for them also. But I don't believe it's true on either said of the fence.

FWIW We don't do it, but then we didn't do it in the same room either. Thats just MY boundaries. I'M just not comfy with it. Not doing it is NOT sexualising babies in the same way that doing it is NOT child abuse.

Agreed.

 

[meli1981]

i appreciate this and value your different parenting choice, its just when others compare it to child abuse it gets pretty hurtful

 

[moomin_troll]

If its classed as child abuse then so is sex when a childs in the same house, they could hear u or even walk in. Then what about sex when pregnant is that also wrong? Smokin during pregnancy could then be called child abuse.... Where does it end?

Am I a pedo because my 3 yr old has seen me naked loads of times, walks in when I'm having a wee or watched me breast feeding?

It's bloody rediculas to call it child abuse or even anything close to that....a baby has no idea, I we were talking a older child and having sex while that child was in the same bed or room then I'd be more inclined to agree with it being wrong.

And no I don have sex when my children are in the same bed, room or even house because I don't have anyone to do it with

 

[meli1981]

If its classed as child abuse then so is sex when a childs in the same house, they could hear u or even walk in. Then what about sex when pregnant is that also wrong? Smokin during pregnancy could then be called child abuse.... Where does it end?

Am I a pedo because my 3 yr old has seen me naked loads of times, walks in when I'm having a wee or watched me breast feeding?

It's bloody rediculas to call it child abuse or even anything close to that....a baby has no idea, I we were talking a older child and having sex while that child was in the same bed or room then I'd be more inclined to agree with it being wrong.

And no I don have sex when my children are in the same bed, room or even house because I don't have anyone to do it with

i agree with you completely! i get dressed in front of my girls all the time! what can i say were attached at the hip! i also shower with my kids sometimes if were pressed for time, is this inappropriate? or be compared to child abuse as well?

 

[EarthMama]

I see it as no different to if ur having sex and ur baby is in the cot next to ur bed!
I never watch this morning but what a pointless thing to go on tv and talk about

Seriously.