Are you the type of parent you thought you would be?

[SarahBear]

Yes I am the type of parent I thought I would be. I let her have a bit more screen time than I probably thought I would previously. I say "screen time" because we don't have a TV, but she watches music videos and cartoons on youtube. We also do Skype calls with my mom and sisters.

 

[Natasha2605]

I'm not sure what type of parent I wanted to be. To be fair though, I fell pregnant at 18 after six weeks or so of being with my husband so didn't have much thoughts behind how I'd be.

I'm glad of how we discipline. We don't smack and use a lot of positive reinforcement and use natural consequences as discipline. Some, my dad in particular, think kids should be smacked etc but I'm so glad we've stuck by what we believe. As a result I can confidently say my pre schoolers are happy, well disciplined and very well mannered.

Both me and OH work full time but we place a lot of emphasis of family time which we had always hoped to do. OH just took a promotion and we work shifts so there is usually one of us to watch the kids which is what we wanted.

I know we do a lot with the kids which makes me proud and I always hoped to do. Every week we paint, glue, bake, chalk, structured crafts, feed ducks, go to the parks, gymnastic classes, toddler groups, softplay, visiting family, scooter/bike rides and so much more, either as a family or with one parent/two kids if one of use are working.

My kids are a little more spoilt that I'd like. Magazines/Toys/Clothes etc.

One of the things I've stuck with doing a lot of people I know don't agree with. I'm not my childrens skivvy so I expect them to tidy up after themselves, put stuff away, take plates/cups to the kitchen when they are finished and any other little jobs I may want help with.

 

[aimee-lou]

Double post

 

[minties]

I didn't have an image in my head of myself as a parent. I didn't want to yell or smack and I don't so I am happy with that.

I no more planned my relationship with my kids than I do any other realationship. I never thought "oh I'll be the perfect girlfriend" etc.

I have ideals now that I never had before they were born.

I knew I would be very affectionate as my parents were.

 

[catty]

I do think i can sometimes be a bit critical of myself. Im having a think of what happened today -
Lucas got up at 6am and we watched a little tv as id been up quite alot during the night with Evie.
Got them both fed and dressed in their halloween costumes and loaded into the car for 9.20am and off to toddlers group.
Lucas played with lots of toys at toddlers mainly the playhouse and car, he also made a spider painting with his hands and had snack at the big boy/girl table for the first time as opposed to the high chair.

Got home at 12 they both slept and Lucas woke at 1.40pm and he had a late lunch and they we attempted to carve a pumpkin ( i did 99%) of it whilst lucas tried to eat some haha
Then i made macaroni cheese for later and evie played with a wooden spoon and lucas read some books.
Watched some more cartoons and played with bubbles
Collected OH at 4.30pm
Then itl be feeding, bath, bed and finally relax

It looks alot more when its written down but at the time i just feel a bit lazy, im probably overthinking things

 

[liz1985]

I kind of am. I always wanted my children to have a spirit of adventure, want to climb trees, jump in puddles etc. My mum was always a worrier and everything was 'dont do that you'll fall" etc. Whereas i always encourage noah to explore and do whatever he's comfortable with. I do find it hard sometimes as ive got my mums worries in me, but i try to get over them. He climbed to the top of a climbing frame once, it was really high, and inside i was panicking but i let him do it. The only thing id like more of is patience, sometimes i get so frustrated when he just wont listen and i can get cross which i dont like. Theres no perfect parent, you just have to be the best parent you can at the time. I also think we change as parents as our experiences change. I've definitely been different with esmé than i was with noah, im much more relaxed about routines for example. I know she wont want to sleep in my bed forever so when she wants to i let her.

 

[Natsku]

I thought I'd play more with Maria. I always loved playing with babies and toddlers before but its different when you can't hand them back to their parent after half an hour!

 

[RaspberryK]

I thought I'd play more with Maria. I always loved playing with babies and toddlers before but its different when you can't hand them back to their parent after half an hour!

I think this too! I was reading somewhere about it not really being a natural thing to play with children - that's what all the other children in the group/cave etc etc were for.

It surprised me as pre-kids I was really good with kids.

Thankfully ds is fine to be set up with a game/toys and he happily does it himself.

I don't mind if it's craft, doing chores, helping with jigsaws, baking,reading, going out and about chatting and learningbut I really don't like playing a lot.

I think this will/may improve as he gets older and we can do more board game type things or something - I love that kind of game.

Xx

 

[steph.]

I am a lot less strict than I thought I would be. It's a lot of effort to be strict and sometimes not very practical. Take today for example, we are in the shopping centre when my lo decides she doesnt want to wear shoes any more. After spending 10 minutes trying to make her put her shoes on (while her baby sister was also screaming) I said "whatever, stuff it" and she went bare foot. I have ALWAYS judged parents for letting their kids walk bare foot in public places!

 

[Mrs Bee]

I think I'm a better mum than I imagined I'd be....... I thought I'd be making lovely nutritious meals for my toddler to eat, except like lots of toddlers she chooses what she eats and doesn't eat...... I've gotten over that stressing me out and accepted that's just how she is....she's growing and happy.....hopefully her favourite meal won't be chips forever! Before my little girl was born we planned on demolishing our beach shack to build a new big house.... Now instead I want to stay in our shack and create the best child friendly backyard paradise ever, I figure I'd rather have another child in our tiny house and have loads of crazy outside fun than have a new shiny house.....Alice loves where we live now, why change it..... It's not like she will have a better childhood in a new house.

I think motherhood has changed me, I used to be a person counting down to some awesome event like buying a house, getting married, having a baby.....but now I appreciate living in the now is better....

I never thought my under 2yr old daughter would be watching tv.....now we watch it together when we wake up and in the afternoons when her dad is preparing dinner... I'm also doing extended breastfeeding(which pre pregnancy me would have been horrified at, and I baby(toddler) wear..... I thought only hippy mums did that....but nope, it's amazing for everybody

So I think after the big reality check of having a toddler I'm an awesome Mum, not like I'd imagined, but in a different and better way!

 

[MiniKiwi]

I'm not the type of parent I thought I'd be. I'd thought I'd be all super nanny on my kids and making sure everything was timed and organised and routined. I'm just not like that at all. Instead, I'm a way better parent than I thought I could be. I have an amazing relationship with my daughter and we have so much fun together. Though my daughter responds well to activities making things easier for me, she will sit and paint or do crafts and she likes to help in the kitchen etc.

At times I have felt like I might go insane, putting so much time and effort into all of this and not having much time for myself, but I just know I won't regret it.

OP, I think your little boy is a bit young for the activities you want to do. But they get WAY more fun! My daughter used to not be able to sit through reading a book, we persevered and now we read for at least 30 minutes every day and it's her favourite thing to do. Their attention spans grow and you just have to keep trying. It sounds like you have had a busy, stimulating, fun day today at least

 

[jogami]

I think I'm a better parent that I thought I would be. My kids know I simply adore them and although I don't always play with them they are more than welcome to play around me. I don't think it's about that. My son always tells me he is the luckiest boy in the world and the girls always want hugs and kisses. For me I've surprised myself. I didn't think I could love another person / people the way I absolutely love my children. I would be nothing without them. To them, I am their world (for now); so for me it's not about what I do or don't do with them that might not interest me - it's enabling them to do what they want to grow their minds and bodies; within healthy limits of course. I try to take them out to lunch once a weekend so we don't all get frustrated at home. I will read a book and have a drink while they play on the playgym (I always go somewhere child friendly of course); I go to all the kids parties they are invited to, take them to the park when I can. I work full day and they are at nursery and when we get home I pretty much leave them to their own devices while I prepare dinner. They will play outside on the trampoline, with their various toys or watch tv. Later on it's book movie and bed. I don't have very needy children (well one twin is although she does not constantly need to be in my arms); so they are quite happy to play on their own or with their siblings.

 

[Natsku]

I thought I'd play more with Maria. I always loved playing with babies and toddlers before but its different when you can't hand them back to their parent after half an hour!

I think this too! I was reading somewhere about it not really being a natural thing to play with children - that's what all the other children in the group/cave etc etc were for.

It surprised me as pre-kids I was really good with kids.

Thankfully ds is fine to be set up with a game/toys and he happily does it himself.

I don't mind if it's craft, doing chores, helping with jigsaws, baking,reading, going out and about chatting and learningbut I really don't like playing a lot.

I think this will/may improve as he gets older and we can do more board game type things or something - I love that kind of game.

Xx

I can't wait to teach Maria card games and start playing fun board games (as opposed to those boring Orchard learning games). I will definitely be good at playing in that kind of way with Maria.

 

[MrsPear]

I thought I would be back-to-back craft activities all day long. When I was very small I longed for coloured paper, ribbons etc and we never had any, but now I totally realise why...toddlers don't have any attention span and that stuff is expensive! I thought my parents were just mean.

I talk to Joni how I imagined I would. When I was pregnant I'd watch other mums on the bus and pick the ones I wanted to be like. Sometimes, when I get snappy etc I think back to that and think "Imagine you're watching yourself on the bus, what do you want to see?" and it really does help!!

I did think that I'd be excellent at discipline. Discipline is a lot more complex than I thought. I way over simplified it in my head. Sometimes toddlers just don't do what you want them to and now I'm firmly in camp 'pick your battles' and let a lot of stuff slide.

x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think I am way more relaxed and better than I imagined!

 

[Boo44]

I am a lot less strict than I thought I would be. It's a lot of effort to be strict and sometimes not very practical. Take today for example, we are in the shopping centre when my lo decides she doesnt want to wear shoes any more. After spending 10 minutes trying to make her put her shoes on (while her baby sister was also screaming) I said "whatever, stuff it" and she went bare foot. I have ALWAYS judged parents for letting their kids walk bare foot in public places!

Oh this is me all over!

I'm a lot less strict and a lot more patient than I would ever have imagined

I mean I do discipline, but if they want something and they're not harming anyone then I give them it. An example - this morning all ready in his Halloween outfit, Jack decided he wanted his welly boots on. He got them from the garage and they're not completely clean from a walk yesterday but equally, not mud covered or anything. We were frantically trying to get ready for work. OH said no to him and Jack cried. I said oh what harm is it doing and helped him put his wellies on so off he went for the day with them on.

With my nieces and nephews I would never have said that and I would always have less patience. But with my kids I've found I'm a bit more relaxed. It must be the nurture thing - it's a bloomin' good thing we are tailored to adore them so much considering how much of a pain they can be (haha!)

I'm also more anxious about illness than I EVER would have imagined. And like a lot of people I do worry I'm not crafty enough, but they are still quite little xx

 

[Sarah125]

I think I'm totally different than I imagined.

I thought I would be like supernanny with strict sleeping schedules and the naughty step etc and instead I'm so relaxed about it all. Sophie sleeps in my bed (which I was so against!) and we have no schedule at all. I also don't like the idea of naughty step etc at all now and implement positive discipline.

I thought that I would do loads of crafts etc and have a heap of stuff saved on pinterest. The truth is it's hardly worth doing any of the stuff as Sophie is far more interested in doing her own thing and I end up doing it by myself and it's just lots more mess to clean up.

I also never imagined I'd be breastfeeding a toddler as I thought it was kind of weird if I'm honest!

 

[jd83]

I am nothing like what I imagined. I was terrified to have kids because I feared being like my mom: impatient, not affectionate, not spending much time with or prioritizing them, etc. In reality, I've made it such a point to be a better mom that I've really surprised myself. I still have things that need improvement,obviously, like patience, methods of discipline, etc, but overall I do think I've been a much better mom than I ever though I would be before kids. I remember conversations with Dh prekids crying in hysterics over the thought of having kids and making them feel how I did and still do with my relationship with my mom. I think my kids have never had that problem. They are so loved, they are my world. I'm glad they have shown me the love I'm capable of.

 

[catty]

https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/133/...NAILED-It-20-Hilarious-Pinterest-Baking-Fails


hahha this totally reminded me of this thread...pininterest mums....

 

[Equreuil]

Since I never imagined I'd be a parent (was sure I didn't want kids), I really had no pre-conceived notion of what kind of parent I would be. While I pregnant I mostly hoped I'd enjoy it, after all.

I feel like do 75% of the time. Messes and noise don't bother me much, but I lose my mind pretty quick when he doesn't listen and gets into stuff he shouldn't have. I like to sit/lay on the floor and play with him, which mostly consists of him raspberrying me and getting tickled, or letting him knock down block towers.

I do enjoy it, and I love my son, but I find myself really looking forward to him being in bed (naps and for the night) so I can be an adult for a while.