As a mother who formula feeds..

[better2gether]

Formula will NEVER be as good as breastmilk. It doesnt just contain super important antibodies (which is why I urge everyone to TRY to breastfeed so the LO will get a few mls of colostrum), it adapts itself to what LO needs. If baby is growing, you produce more milk, if baby is hot, the milk contains more water. Its remarkable and formula is an adequate alternative, that's it.

breastmilk is most def best, no one can argue that. Whether breastfeeding is best.. well that's down to each individual.

I def agree with 'whether breastfeeding is best ..well thats down to each individual'

For me breastfeeding wasn't best, that doesn't mean I am a bad mother or that my LO will get every infection or disease under the sun. I think what gets peoples back up is that people want to keep saying 'i don't understand why people wont try to breastfeed'. I don't go around saying to people 'why don't you give up smoking while pregnant' or 'why do you have a glass of wine while pregnant' or 'why don't you get your child immunised'.....because its a personal choice, it doesn't effect me.

Well, why not TRY? Is there any harm in trying when it is the best for your baby? Just because you try it, doesn't mean you have to stick with it. If it works out, awesome. If not, fair enough, at least you gave it a go and wanted the best possible start for your LO. Comparing that to smoking and drinking while pregnant is a little off base, don't you think? I know some might think I'm harping, but honest to God, I'm just trying to understand the other side to this.

Its comments like this that get to me (and I'm not getting at you personally). I didn't want to try - for many reasons but ones which are no bodies business but mine. I did want to best possible start for my LO and thats exactly what she got. I didn't think comparing it to smoking or drinking is off base - basically people are saying that if you FF you are not giving your LO the best start well neither is Drinking or Smoking in pregnancy some would say.

Okay then. I was leaving that open if any FFing moms wanted to help me out, but I guess not. That is ALL I hear... "I did it for personal reasons." You don't have to explain yourself to me or anyone else, true. But I'm just trying to be more understanding about these things and don't think I can be faulted in that regard. I guess I'll never understand it. Still don't think comparing this all to drinking and smoking while pregnant is valid. I'll just leave that be though, seems kind of pointless!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I think like smokey said some women may have a very god reason for not trying. I.e things that may have happened during childhood etc
xx

 

[Missy86]

I think blackberrys comment may have been posted lol

 

[Tiff]

Better: I think it just might be one of those "things". You may never understand tbh!

Not the same, but I'm adopted and I had people ask me how I could sleep at night not knowing who my "real" parents are. My "real" parents were the ones who adopted me, not the ones who conceived me! But they couldn't understand it no matter how hard I tried.

Alternately: My parents are still married, and I have no idea how people deal with it. I don't mean that to be mean or belittle people who's parents have gone through a divorce... just that it is what it is for them.

I don't understand as my parents aren't divorced. Not sure if that helps any?

 

[AppleBlossom]

Better2gether: The reason I FF was because, although it wasn't diagnosed, I suffered from PND. I couldn't bond with Grace, I resented her, I wanted to just leave and never come back. And the main trigger was BFing. I hated every second of it. It was the biggest thing that made me want to just run away. As a result of BFing I missed out on those all important first few months where you are meant to bond massively with your baby. If I hadn't started FFing I dread to think what my situation would be now. In a way, yes it was for personal reasons. But the choice I had was limited. I either carried on BFing, spent the whole time hating my own child and eventually leaving. Or switching to formula and getting back that bond and making sure she was with me like she should be. I chose what was best for me AND for her. I'd rather her have had a happy mummy who loved her than a miserable mummy that couldn't stand to be around her all for the sake of a few antibodies

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I suffered from PND aswell Like bexy. And BFing made it worse
xx

 

[Tiff]

I had it too, but I don't know if that was the cause of my issues with BF tbh.

 

[better2gether]

Thank you for your insight, bexy. But I'm talking about women who don't want to try BFing at all and use formula from the very start. In your case you did try BFing. BUT...

As another posted said, women could choose formula due to some previous childhood trauma. And to be honest, that possibility never crossed my mind. So thank you to smokey for pointing that out.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I don't think PND affected my Bfing but it certainlty contributed toit when I failed
xx

 

[Tiff]

Yep, I was the same Heather. I cried for days when I switched her, thought I was dooming her to all the horrible things people say that Formula attributes.

 

[Missy86]

Yep, I was the same Heather. I cried for days when I switched her, thought I was dooming her to all the horrible things people say that Formula attributes.

Same here

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I just hope none of us get it again. It was a horrible feeling. One friend even told me I needed happy pills to love my son.

I was at rock bottom. But we have come out stronger women
xx

 

[Tiff]

Yeah, I wouldn't wish PND on my worst enemy, it was awful.

 

[smokey]

I was kinda the oppesite, I started developing PND because of the breastfeeding and actualy felt a huge weight lifted when I changed to ff exclusively and it was then that I began to be able to bond properly with him as we where both so much happier.
I dont know if his side of the problem was solely not being able to latch properly or if mostly because he was picking up on my tention and stress but he was alot calmer and happier afterwards so I managed to overcome the PND befor it set in to far.

 

[bluebaby]

Yeah, I wouldn't wish PND on my worst enemy, it was awful.

I felt like I was putting so much pressure on myself being pregnant and having a baby that if i tried to breastfeed I would push myself over the edge to PND ifkwim.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Yep, I was the same Heather. I cried for days when I switched her, thought I was dooming her to all the horrible things people say that Formula attributes.

Same here

Same. The reason I did it for as long as I did was because of the things people said about formula. I wish I'd told my HV about the way I was feeling. I suffered in silence for a very long time, it wasn't nice and like Tiff said, I wouldn't wish that on anyone

 

[sophie c]

i chose to FF alys from birth as i didnt feel ready or understand the whole "breastfeeding thing" and alys was very poorly in the first few days and ended up on SCBU due to low sodium levels and query infection, they were glad i hadnt breastfed as i may of passsed an infection on to her, it was the right decision at that time for us as a family, but this time its different as i feel alot more mature and understand the benefits more, i am going to try but im not going to be totally put off if i cant because i know alys has thrived on FF

xxxx

 

[HannahGraceee]

Ive only read a couple of pages but i would just like to say what i have to say about this..

As someone who has breastfed and formula fed my little girl and as a mother, the most amazing feeling in the whole was that my little girl is staying alive by me feeding her this milk (which ever it is)

So what ever figure fact or how much time we preach to the other which is best, one of the mothers will feel inferior and will never want to feel less of a mother to the other so will always fight for that choice!

 

[kiwimama]

I was kinda the oppesite, I started developing PND because of the breastfeeding and actualy felt a huge weight lifted when I changed to ff exclusively and it was then that I began to be able to bond properly with him as we where both so much happier.
I dont know if his side of the problem was solely not being able to latch properly or if mostly because he was picking up on my tention and stress but he was alot calmer and happier afterwards so I managed to overcome the PND befor it set in to far.

Sounds like you are telling my story.
I don't know why women just love to try and take each other down. As mothers we all want the best for our children, why can't we just give our utmost support to each other, whether we ff or bf!?!

 

[moomin_troll]

I met some breast is best campagniers. They were so lovely. I explained my difficulties with Aidan and they gave me a wealth of info on breastfeeding and how to find help for next time (hopefully support will be even better by the time I start TTC).
xx

i do think there isnt enough help out there for the woman who really are struggling.

my mws where crap and didnt give me any advice or help when zane was latching ect.
hope u get the help u need next time around, i no if i have another i will defo try again

I actualy had more help in hospital towards ff then I did bf, the nurse came along at 11pm and said about someone coming along to talk to me and help me to learn to get him to latch on, no one came back.
the next day I was still truggling and another nurses advice was to attend the breastfeeding support class being held at the hospital 12 days later???? what should I just leave him starving till then? yet people offered to get me bottled milk (the glass bottles of sma) almost instantly.

its terrible, some mws really need to learn some people skills!

ive posted this story on another thread much like this one but ile say it again.
when i was in hospital zanes first feed was great he fed for 30 mins on one breast as i didnt have a clue i had to swap him over, mw just put him on n left me, then after the first feed zane wouldnt latch and my calls were ignored.
opposite me was a girl who was bottle feeding and her calls were ignored too.

her baby was crying from hunger and when ever shed ask for a bottle shed get dirty looks and they were taking ages to even bring her a bottle, and then wudnt even tell her where to get them from herself. the poor girl was in tears, and at one point i heard her say please stop crying to her baby....ile never forget that, my heart broke but i was stuggling myself so didnt offer any help, i still regret not going over even o just gove her a hug (baby and mother) not that age matters but she was only 16 and scared stiff, much like i was n they way we were treated in that hospital was out rageous.

some hospitals and mws really need to be re trained and more help in those first few days should be given rather then new mothers having to go elsewhere to find the help, as much like me i had no idea where to go