As a mother who formula feeds..

[Missy86]

another thing worth mentioning - as most of you know, BF is very hard work so most BFers are proud of themselves for perservering. Its a bit of a kick in the teeth when people say 'oh formula is just as good' cos it seems like all the hard work was for nothing IYKWIM? I don't feel like that anymore, but I used to.

I know its hard work but its a kick in the teeth for me when people say I didnt try hard enough

 

[Blah11]

it's not a competition, i'm just trying to explain why some BFers come across as 'elite' or whatever you think.

 

[Missy86]

ok fair enough but whats wrong with saying that to make the ff mums feel better

 

[Blah11]

its not true anyway lol

 

[Missy86]

I am aware of that

 

[Dragonfly]

If breastfeeding was so much more normal in areas then no one would be congratulating on succeeding on it. And if so many didnt give up and say it was really difficult the same thing, thats why people congratulate, because its hard apparently. I am not saying its not hard it hasnt been a walk in the park for me all this time but it got easier as time went by. I am not to sure why someone would congratulate a mum on formula feeding but wait to be enlightened.

 

[Blah11]

Breastfeeding is hard in the first 2 months or so defo. Its not easy to keep feeding a baby (1 hour on, 1 hour off) 24/7 when you're absolutely exhausted. Its mentally hard more than physically, atleast thats how it was with me.

 

[smokey]

I think too much emphasis has been put on the old saying of "baby doesnt come with a manual" that people are then trying to create a manual for parenting, how it should be done, what you should and shouldnt be doing if that makes sense.

Part of the joy of parenting is discovering and making it up as you go along and making your own experiances.
Whats right for one person might not be right for another, our babies are all different and we are all different and I think we can all agree that we are all doing what we feel is right for our own children under our own circumstances.
If we didnt care about doing our best for our children we wouldnt be here in the first place.
Its not each other and other women we should be angry at or arguing with its the stupid people that write these articles knowing full well the responses they are going to get from both side and 99% of the time are just writing them to cause debate and boost the sale of their magazines or views to their websites.

 

[Dragonfly]

But we where meant to breastfeed from the beginning of time, mammals do that. Dosnt have to be in a manual. Thats just basics I mean. Rest you learn as you go a long and like all humans make mistakes. no one is perfect. But not bf dosnt mean you dont love your child in any way shape or form.

 

[Missy86]

If breastfeeding was so much more normal in areas then no one would be congratulating on succeeding on it. And if so many didnt give up and say it was really difficult the same thing, thats why people congratulate, because its hard apparently. I am not saying its not hard it hasnt been a walk in the park for me all this time but it got easier as time went by. I am not to sure why someone would congratulate a mum on formula feeding but wait to be enlightened.

No your right I didnt try hard enough and I am a failure, I also wish I could have had a perfect birth not a c section

So I am usless, selfish women who shouldnt have children

 

[Blah11]

we're meant to give birth but that doesnt mean its not hard and that everyone can do it.

 

[Dragonfly]

If breastfeeding was so much more normal in areas then no one would be congratulating on succeeding on it. And if so many didnt give up and say it was really difficult the same thing, thats why people congratulate, because its hard apparently. I am not saying its not hard it hasnt been a walk in the park for me all this time but it got easier as time went by. I am not to sure why someone would congratulate a mum on formula feeding but wait to be enlightened.

No your right I didnt try hard enough and I am a failure, I also wish I could have had a perfect birth not a c section

So I am usless, selfish women who shouldnt have children

dont make up words I didnt say, I didnt say you didnt try hard enough I said it was hard for me to at times and I didnt call you a failure, I love to know where you got that from?
reading things that arnt there or is that how you just feel?

ps I didnt have the perfect birth either I had an emergency c section.

 

[smokey]

I dont just mean breastfeeding I ment all forms of parenting, so many websites, books and other people put too much presure onto mothers about things like, you should be doing it this way, your baby should be crawling by this age, you should be using this product, you sholdnt waist your money on that, your lazy for doing it this way, your stupid for doing it that way.
They can be great for a rough idea but too many try to fit babies an mothers into a uniformed box

 

[Blah11]

If breastfeeding was so much more normal in areas then no one would be congratulating on succeeding on it. And if so many didnt give up and say it was really difficult the same thing, thats why people congratulate, because its hard apparently. I am not saying its not hard it hasnt been a walk in the park for me all this time but it got easier as time went by. I am not to sure why someone would congratulate a mum on formula feeding but wait to be enlightened.

No your right I didnt try hard enough and I am a failure, I also wish I could have had a perfect birth not a c section

So I am usless, selfish women who shouldnt have children

what the hell? honestly it sounds like you just have a huge chip on your shoulder over your birth experience and feeding choice

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont just mean breastfeeding I ment all forms of parenting, so many websites, books and other people put too much presure onto mothers about things like, you should be doing it this way, your baby should be crawling by this age, you should be using this product, you sholdnt waist your money on that, your lazy for doing it this way, your stupid for doing it that way.
They can be great for a rough idea but too many try to fit babies an mothers into a uniformed box

I get what your saying and agree,. I have loads of comments to form people saying he should be at this and that and I should be doing this, it gets really annoying. Theres advice then theres dictating. I dont do anything by the book I take it as it comes, much more relaxed and less stressful.

 

[Tiff]

I think we all have to agree that it doesn't matter WHAT choice we make, there will alway be a peanut gallery waiting on the sidelines to question it.

I get it all the time between my nephew's development and Claire's as there is only 6 months difference between them.

 

[smokey]

I dont just mean breastfeeding I ment all forms of parenting, so many websites, books and other people put too much presure onto mothers about things like, you should be doing it this way, your baby should be crawling by this age, you should be using this product, you sholdnt waist your money on that, your lazy for doing it this way, your stupid for doing it that way.
They can be great for a rough idea but too many try to fit babies an mothers into a uniformed box

I get what your saying and agree,. I have loads of comments to form people saying he should be at this and that and I should be doing this, it gets really annoying. Theres advice then theres dictating. I dont do anything by the book I take it as it comes, much more relaxed and less stressful.

Exactly and its when you get articles claiming people are wrong or lazy or discusting for not doing it THIER way that its going to start getting peoples backs up.
We are all doing the best job we can, this is why i dont read parenting magazines or news articles about this sort of thing, I dont like the guilt and brainwashing tactics they use.
We are all human beings blessed with the ability to think, judge and decide for ourselves, dont ever tell anyone else they are doing it wrong and dont let anyone else tell you that you are doing it wrong.
None of it is wrong, there are very few ways to parent the wrong way and if we where that kind of person we wouldnt be caring enough to be here discussing it.

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont just mean breastfeeding I ment all forms of parenting, so many websites, books and other people put too much presure onto mothers about things like, you should be doing it this way, your baby should be crawling by this age, you should be using this product, you sholdnt waist your money on that, your lazy for doing it this way, your stupid for doing it that way.
They can be great for a rough idea but too many try to fit babies an mothers into a uniformed box

I get what your saying and agree,. I have loads of comments to form people saying he should be at this and that and I should be doing this, it gets really annoying. Theres advice then theres dictating. I dont do anything by the book I take it as it comes, much more relaxed and less stressful.

Exactly and its when you get articles claiming people are wrong or lazy or discusting for not doing it THIER way that its going to start getting peoples backs up.
We are all doing the best job we can, this is why i dont read parenting magazines or news articles about this sort of thing, I dont like the guilt and brainwashing tactics they use.
We are all human beings blessed with the ability to think, judge and decide for ourselves, dont ever tell anyone else they are doing it wrong and dont let anyone else tell you that you are doing it wrong.
None of it is wrong, there are very few ways to parent the wrong way and if we where that kind of person we wouldnt be caring enough to be here discussing it.

Totally agree, I do think these things are done on purpose for publicity, instead of educating on benefits of such things they are forced and slammed both ways, never seems to be the right way. If it was no one would pay attention sadly.

 

[cherryglitter]

But we where meant to breastfeed from the beginning of time, mammals do that. Dosnt have to be in a manual. Thats just basics I mean. Rest you learn as you go a long and like all humans make mistakes. no one is perfect. But not bf dosnt mean you dont love your child in any way shape or form.

Maybe a woman would be congratulated on formula feeding when she got over the fact that she couldn't breastfeed, and instead of feeling like crap for the rest of her babies childhood, she got over it and moved, and went onto formula feeding?! Just an idea!!

With all the breast is best propaganda that is shoved into your face, it does make people feel guilty when they don't breastfeed/can't breastfeed. It's awful. They never put on a poster, breast is best IF you can do it. So many mums can't and we're constantly being told that it's the best way. How does that make many people feel. It's sad.

 

[moomin_troll]

i was made to feel like crap by alot of ppl in my life and also on here for not being able to continue bf. i felt bad enough myself as i wanted to bf so much and no one saw how hard i tried n yet they felt they could judge n tell me i didnt try hard enough!

i still hate myself for not trying harder, but my oh tells me i obviously tried my hardest as he was the one watching me cry my eyes out in pain everytime id try to feed zane, then he had to watch me try to settle zane when he cried cuz he didnt get enough from my breast.

so ppl who have "failed" with bf and had to go onto ff should be told well done for trying, not have ppl make comments or be told how hard that other person had tried and that they were able to bf