As a mother who formula feeds..

[smokey]

i was made to feel like crap by alot of ppl in my life and also on here for not being able to continue bf. i felt bad enough myself as i wanted to bf so much and no one saw how hard i tried n yet they felt they could judge n tell me i didnt try hard enough!

i still hate myself for not trying harder, but my oh tells me i obviously tried my hardest as he was the one watching me cry my eyes out in pain everytime id try to feed zane, then he had to watch me try to settle zane when he cried cuz he didnt get enough from my breast.

so ppl who have "failed" with bf and had to go onto ff should be told well done for trying, not have ppl make comments or be told how hard that other person had tried and that they were able to bf

There is no failing hun, just different tactics.
No one is ever a failure for feeding, caring for, comfeting, loving, protecting our babies, there are people out there that dont do any of that for thier children and they are the failures not us.

 

[Missy86]

i was made to feel like crap by alot of ppl in my life and also on here for not being able to continue bf. i felt bad enough myself as i wanted to bf so much and no one saw how hard i tried n yet they felt they could judge n tell me i didnt try hard enough!

i still hate myself for not trying harder, but my oh tells me i obviously tried my hardest as he was the one watching me cry my eyes out in pain everytime id try to feed zane, then he had to watch me try to settle zane when he cried cuz he didnt get enough from my breast.

so ppl who have "failed" with bf and had to go onto ff should be told well done for trying, not have ppl make comments or be told how hard that other person had tried and that they were able to bf

Thank you hun, thats what I was trying to say very badly

 

[moomin_troll]

its hard enough being a parent and some people just act like its a compitition, whether thats about how the baby is fed or what clothes it wears.

at the end of the day long as we do our best n our babies are fed n ahppy who the f*ck cares? n if u sit home worrying how someone elses baby is fed then u need to get a life lol.
our babies wont care how they were fed when they are older n wont thank us anymore for if we were able to bf n did for ages or they had a bottle.

 

[Dragonfly]

But we where meant to breastfeed from the beginning of time, mammals do that. Dosnt have to be in a manual. Thats just basics I mean. Rest you learn as you go a long and like all humans make mistakes. no one is perfect. But not bf dosnt mean you dont love your child in any way shape or form.

Maybe a woman would be congratulated on formula feeding when she got over the fact that she couldn't breastfeed, and instead of feeling like crap for the rest of her babies childhood, she got over it and moved, and went onto formula feeding?! Just an idea!!

With all the breast is best propaganda that is shoved into your face, it does make people feel guilty when they don't breastfeed/can't breastfeed. It's awful. They never put on a poster, breast is best IF you can do it. So many mums can't and we're constantly being told that it's the best way. How does that make many people feel. It's sad.

As I touched on earlier I come from a place where I dont even see a breastfeeding poster anywhere and its not enforced so I dont know what its like to have it shoved in my face, They should maybe spread out all that shoving in faces to other places like mine where formula is the norm and your regarded as a weirdo for breastfeeding and everyone falls out with you for your choice because its snubbing them for using formula.

Here you dont fail at breastfeeding you just dont do it. Shakes of the heads in the maturity ward at me, mums asked why i bothered and nurses being sarcastic to me about breastfeeding. Health visitors who havnt the faintest idea about breastfeeding or docs and people pitying you for this horrible time consuming thing your doing. Endless suggestions and comments all negatives.

Maybe we all need to swap areas.

 

[better2gether]

i was made to feel like crap by alot of ppl in my life and also on here for not being able to continue bf. i felt bad enough myself as i wanted to bf so much and no one saw how hard i tried n yet they felt they could judge n tell me i didnt try hard enough!

i still hate myself for not trying harder, but my oh tells me i obviously tried my hardest as he was the one watching me cry my eyes out in pain everytime id try to feed zane, then he had to watch me try to settle zane when he cried cuz he didnt get enough from my breast.

so ppl who have "failed" with bf and had to go onto ff should be told well done for trying, not have ppl make comments or be told how hard that other person had tried and that they were able to bf

Thank you hun, thats what I was trying to say very badly

There are different extremes, don't you think? So far I've ONLY heard negative stories about moms who couldn't BF and had to switch to FF. I'm sure there are positive ones as well (and I'm almost certain a majority of them are). I would love to hear them, if there are any takers. Just like FF moms are sick of being beaten down for their choices, I'm sick of BF moms being made out to be cruel and heartless. Seriously, go take a look in the BF section. There are MANY lovely ladies and COUNTLESS threads showing support to a mom that had to switch to FF.

 

[moomin_troll]

i hate the fact that bf mothers are given dirty looks in the streets and can sometimes be called perverts, but i also hate that ff mummies are called names too.

ive always said i feel mws, docs hv should all be trained in order to give better support and help on all forms of feeding. i no we can find help else where but we shouldnt have to

altho changing the subject kind of i did watch a program on other ppl bf other peoples children and this one weirdo did say she found it arrousing while bf! i wudnt of let that near my children if thats how bf made her feel.

 

[Missy86]

Its funny, in the Ramblers chat I am part of bf and ffeeders live happily together

 

[moomin_troll]

i was made to feel like crap by alot of ppl in my life and also on here for not being able to continue bf. i felt bad enough myself as i wanted to bf so much and no one saw how hard i tried n yet they felt they could judge n tell me i didnt try hard enough!

i still hate myself for not trying harder, but my oh tells me i obviously tried my hardest as he was the one watching me cry my eyes out in pain everytime id try to feed zane, then he had to watch me try to settle zane when he cried cuz he didnt get enough from my breast.

so ppl who have "failed" with bf and had to go onto ff should be told well done for trying, not have ppl make comments or be told how hard that other person had tried and that they were able to bf

Thank you hun, thats what I was trying to say very badly

There are different extremes, don't you think? So far I've ONLY heard negative stories about moms who couldn't BF and had to switch to FF. I'm sure there are positive ones as well (and I'm almost certain a majority of them are). I would love to hear them, if there are any takers. Just like FF moms are sick of being beaten down for their choices, I'm sick of BF moms being made out to be cruel and heartless. Seriously, go take a look in the BF section. There are MANY lovely ladies and COUNTLESS threads showing support to a mom that had to switch to FF.

i no most ppl are supportive, but i was saying how i was made to feel by some people, i didnt say all.
i no mummies who bf in real life n i wasnt judged once but then again i was by my mil and also my own mother.

im very happy that i switched to bottles as zane was so much happier after and from the first bottle he fed really well and was alot calmer. i was so happy that he finaly stopped screaming and was getting what he needed. i no i made the right choice for him but that doesnt stop me feeling bad about it.

 

[Tiff]

There are different extremes, don't you think? So far I've ONLY heard negative stories about moms who couldn't BF and had to switch to FF. I'm sure there are positive ones as well (and I'm almost certain a majority of them are). I would love to hear them, if there are any takers. Just like FF moms are sick of being beaten down for their choices, I'm sick of BF moms being made out to be cruel and heartless. Seriously, go take a look in the BF section. There are MANY lovely ladies and COUNTLESS threads showing support to a mom that had to switch to FF.

I missed where it was said that ALL BF Moms are unsupportive??

 

[better2gether]

I didn't say all! I think a majority are made to be out that way. Just reading this thread, it seems like every FF mom had a bad experience with a BF mom looking down on her. Like I said, I haven't heard one positive story of a FF mom getting support from a BF mom and I would like to hear even ONE. Hearing bad crap only spreads generalizations and it should be stopped.

 

[dani_tinks]

You know, i've never seen or heard FF telling BFs bad things or having a go at them for their choices yet as FFers we're called selfish, told we're putting ourselves first, told we're sexualising our breasts, told we're feeding our babies poison. I think it really needs to stop. It's not fair.

 

[Missy86]

My best mate bf her daughter for 2 years and has been a great support to me, its only on the internet people seem to think this

 

[moomin_troll]

if u look above i have said i have a mate whos a bf mummy and she never judged me and was very suportive. but online i havent had any support or a least u tried comment.

 

[Missy86]

You know, i've never seen or heard FF telling BFs bad things or having a go at them for their choices yet as FFers we're called selfish, told we're putting ourselves first, told we're sexualising our breasts, told we're feeding our babies poison. I think it really needs to stop. It's not fair.

That is true, I have seen threads on this forum where the women does not want to bf and the Bfeeders will still try to convert even in the ffeeding section

 

[moomin_troll]

You know, i've never seen or heard FF telling BFs bad things or having a go at them for their choices yet as FFers we're called selfish, told we're putting ourselves first, told we're sexualising our breasts, told we're feeding our babies poison. I think it really needs to stop. It's not fair.

That is true, I have seen threads on this forum where the women does not want to bf and the Bfeeders will still try to convert even in the ffeeding section

wonder how it would go down if a ff mum went on the the bf section and started saying everyone should atleast try a bottle lol

but im all for bf and i do think its a good idea to atleast try as u never no how ule feel once uve had ur baby. but im not goin to say breast is best ect at them as for zane it really wasnt

 

[better2gether]

Oh. My. Goodness. I really need a brick wall to hit my head against. I'll leave you all to it. I have no words for the comments that were just made.

 

[Tiff]

I didn't say all! I think a majority are made to be out that way. Just reading this thread, it seems like every FF mom had a bad experience with a BF mom looking down on her. Like I said, I haven't heard one positive story of a FF mom getting support from a BF mom and I would like to hear even ONE. Hearing bad crap only spreads generalizations and it should be stopped.

But this is one thread, with a few people speaking on it. It may seem like a majority on this thread alone, but surely you aren't going to base your opinion off of it from this conversation only?

 

[Missy86]

Oh. My. Goodness. I really need a brick wall to hit my head against. I'll leave you all to it. I have no words for the comments that were just made.

To be honest I dont get what you are going on about

 

[moomin_troll]

u wanted to hear about women who had found support from bf mums and there are afew right above my comment now.
so we have answered u, again i dont no what u want to hear

 

[Missy86]

And I will say again, I have friends on the forum who Bf and are very supportive.
Look in the Ramblers chat in the parenting section