As a mother who formula feeds..

[better2gether]

I didn't say all! I think a majority are made to be out that way. Just reading this thread, it seems like every FF mom had a bad experience with a BF mom looking down on her. Like I said, I haven't heard one positive story of a FF mom getting support from a BF mom and I would like to hear even ONE. Hearing bad crap only spreads generalizations and it should be stopped.

But this is one thread, with a few people speaking on it. It may seem like a majority on this thread alone, but surely you aren't going to base your opinion off of it from this conversation only?

Of course not! I thought we would get more replies and such to a thread like this, but we are only getting one side to the story. Like when I was asking questions earlier, I'm just trying to be more informed and educated.

 

[better2gether]

Oh. My. Goodness. I really need a brick wall to hit my head against. I'll leave you all to it. I have no words for the comments that were just made.

To be honest I dont get what you are going on about

What dani_tinks said is what left me so speechless. If that is how you really feel, then you ladies need to go searching and find some open-minded BF moms to maybe change your perceptions a bit. You know, reach out that olive branch more? Like another poster said, there seems to be a huge chip on everyone's shoulder...

 

[Dragonfly]

You know, i've never seen or heard FF telling BFs bad things or having a go at them for their choices yet as FFers we're called selfish, told we're putting ourselves first, told we're sexualising our breasts, told we're feeding our babies poison. I think it really needs to stop. It's not fair.

All I get is nasty things said by formula feeders to me again everywhere is different. Not in this forum but around me. And again the person a few pages back that refereed to formula as devils juice said that and was a formula feeder, I have never heard a breastfeed call formula poison. Not in this forum unless they are accusing others of saying it.

Is it just me or does anyone else just not feel the need to ask a mum how she feeds her baby? if so why do so many ask ?

 

[moomin_troll]

we arent getting one side stories at all. i have told how i was slagged for not continuing to bf and ALSO i have said one of my best friends bf's and never judged me and was very supportive. she never judged me and all she said to me when i switched was least u tried and that zanes getting fed.

ive not had anyone nice to me on here from a bf mum about my switching but i have in real life.
alot of people think they can just be nasty on here as its only the internet but when it comes to being a mum n u feel someone has attacked ur parenting skills ur guna get mad and fast

 

[ocean_pearl]

I chose not to breastfeed. It just never appealed to me. It could be that I was 'undereducated' about breastfeeding, but I know all the benefits and my midwife spent a whole appointment talking to me about breastfeeding, but i'd made my mind up already.

Maybe it's something to do with my age and generation (Im 22!)? Im not saying that's the case for everyone at all! But I just think it's the 'norm' to formula feed, although that could be the people I know. I like the fact that my OH can just make up a bottle and feed Jake too. It takes a lot of the pressure away from me and im not too sure how I would've coped if I had breastfed. x

I'm 22 and breastfeeding my 19 month old. Its nothing to do with age. I think more of it is a social thing. Your friends and family don't breastfeed so you didn't either.

I agree, its nothing to do with age, i'm 24 and cannot wait to BF

 

[dani_tinks]

Oh. My. Goodness. I really need a brick wall to hit my head against. I'll leave you all to it. I have no words for the comments that were just made.

To be honest I dont get what you are going on about

What dani_tinks said is what left me so speechless. If that is how you really feel, then you ladies need to go searching and find some open-minded BF moms to maybe change your perceptions a bit. You know, reach out that olive branch more? Like another poster said, there seems to be a huge chip on everyone's shoulder...

I don't know why what I said left you speechless, it is what it is and unfortunatley that is what i've come accross. I don't have a chip on my shoulder. I don't feel guilty and i'm very happy in my parenting decisions. It just angers me how low some women go to try and get a dig in at FFers as a lot of my friends get very upset by them. I really don't think anyone should have to justify how they feed their LOs which is why i'm so tired of some of the comments i've seen on the internet!

 

[Missy86]

Oh. My. Goodness. I really need a brick wall to hit my head against. I'll leave you all to it. I have no words for the comments that were just made.

To be honest I dont get what you are going on about

What dani_tinks said is what left me so speechless. If that is how you really feel, then you ladies need to go searching and find some open-minded BF moms to maybe change your perceptions a bit. You know, reach out that olive branch more? Like another poster said, there seems to be a huge chip on everyone's shoulder...

But we do, do you not think you should be nicer to mums who tried. All I take from the Bfeeding mothers in this thread is that they should be congratulated for doing it for so long, I think it was Blah who said that but not once have you guys said well done for trying you did your best

 

[better2gether]

It's just the internet though. I honestly could care less if someone is "offending" me, it is really nothing to get worked up over. I ask questions out curiousity, to get a healthy discussion going, etc. When you come to a forum, you have to have a somewhat thick skin... You're not going to agree with everything that is said and vice versa. Even more so when you come to a parenting forum... But at the end of the day, I know I'm doing perfectly fine and just leave others to their parenting styles even though it differs from mine.

 

[moomin_troll]

I chose not to breastfeed. It just never appealed to me. It could be that I was 'undereducated' about breastfeeding, but I know all the benefits and my midwife spent a whole appointment talking to me about breastfeeding, but i'd made my mind up already.

Maybe it's something to do with my age and generation (Im 22!)? Im not saying that's the case for everyone at all! But I just think it's the 'norm' to formula feed, although that could be the people I know. I like the fact that my OH can just make up a bottle and feed Jake too. It takes a lot of the pressure away from me and im not too sure how I would've coped if I had breastfed. x

I'm 22 and breastfeeding my 19 month old. Its nothing to do with age. I think more of it is a social thing. Your friends and family don't breastfeed so you didn't either.

I agree, its nothing to do with age, i'm 24 and cannot wait to BF

i didnt see this comment. no i dont think age has anything to do with it as i was 19 when pregnant and i knew i wanted to bf, but then only one of my mates bf and the others didnt even try. so i dont think it has anything to do with friends or family either as its just to do with the person.

altho i do believe that if ur friends and family are supportive of u it does make it easier

 

[better2gether]

Um, actually I said it is great moms even TRY to BF. I think it should be given a go and if it doesn't work out, fine. All I said earlier was that I didn't understand why you wouldn't even try. It is comments like Missy86's that show me you DO have a chip on your shoulder. How can I think differently?

 

[Missy86]

Im sorry but I think you have a chip on yours, you bf so your better than me

That is all you have shown me in this thread

 

[moomin_troll]

i certainly dont have a "chip on my shoulder" and i dont think u can make that judgement about anyone here as this is just a forum and u dont actualy no that person.

if a mother feels attacked about her parenting styles or choices the first reaction is attack!

 

[better2gether]

Ignorance is bliss, huh? Now I'm just laughing!

 

[moomin_troll]

Ignorance is bliss, huh? Now I'm just laughing!

this is a very rude childish comment. and id also say a very ignorant one too.

maybe look in the mirror before jumping on others

 

[Dragonfly]

Im sorry but I think you have a chip on yours, you bf so your better than me

That is all you have shown me in this thread

There you go again ! she never said that, no one said or implied that yet you have read that and said that? you really are looking a row here. Do you feel all bf mums are better than you? i never think that about any one I know loads of ff mums including my own mum and I couldn't care less how they fed their kids but for someone to say that when no one said it is ridiculous. You really have to get over that.

 

[Missy86]

I am sorry but it was implied

 

[better2gether]

Ignorance is bliss, huh? Now I'm just laughing!

this is a very rude childish comment. and id also say a very ignorant one too.

maybe look in the mirror before jumping on others

This thread is no longer a healthy discussion and people are just making up LIES now. That is why I am laughing. Nothing can ever stay civil in this forum.

 

[indy and lara]

Honestly, these 'discussions' just go round in circles.

They niggles and the digs happen on both sides. When you BF (especially beyond the 1st few months) you get the snide looks and remarks, the comments about it being creepy (eg, I would find it creepy if my LO comes up and pulls my top down, even though Emma has NEVER done that), and so it goes. Oh, and then you find people claiming that your elitist or whatever guff because you are BF.

And on the other side FF mum's feel looked down on and that their parenting is questioned.

It happens to us all. JUST IGNORE IT. It is water down a duck's back to me and not worth even giving the energy to. I wish more people BF. I wish people had more support to get through the early weeks where they think they have not enough milk to continue but often just need support to make it through those weeks and let the supply become established or realise that your LO feeding every 90 mins, 24 hours a day can be perfectly normal. But if you don't want to BF well that is your choice. Name calling on each side is pretty pathetic.

 

[moomin_troll]

unfortunatly this is the internet and we can all misread comments, even in real life face to face things can be misheard ect.

but then again also as this is just the net some ppl do think they have the right to be mean to others and make them feel bad as they can hide away and it can be taken to heart.
when it comes to things about what we do for our babies all of us are going to get heated and feel if even 1 comment is negative about what we have done, we r going to get up on our high horses.

when it comes to a mother and child, the mother will always attack first.

 

[StirCrazy]

I'm in the process of writing up some guidelines for this forum, but let me quickly say this:
This section is intended for those that can debate, and not flame. We do intend the debate forum to be lower moderated... BUT it is usergrouped. Prove that you cannot handle a hot topic without getting personal and access to this forum can be revoked (just because we now have a debate section doesn't mean that normal forum etiquette doesn't apply).

BTW this isn't directed at anyone (because I haven't read this thread yet), but it has been brought to our attention that it maybe getting out of hand.

Let's try and keep it civil!