Attitudes to AP/NP in Baby Club...

[aragornlover8]

First of all , i had problems breast feeding so i can see where you are coming from but its our own guilt that makes us feel that way, if we had chosen to FF from birth then those posts wouldent bother us. Some people do come across as being on their high horse, usualy because they havent had or saw any one else having problems BF but iv been some FF get anoyed through people saying that they BF because its best for baby when there is no deniying that.

I can see that too. And I really do believe that breast is best; that's the main reason I'm going to try again next time. I'm really genuinely proud of women who breastfeed for any extended period of time. And I know I would feel a lot better about things had I not been so set on breastfeeding from the start. Still, I think it's really important to keep in mind that judgmental attitudes on the breastfeeding side of things do little to help their cause. If all I had come across so far was resistance and negativity, I doubt I would feel so adamant about trying again. If that makes any sense?

littlestar - I'm really sorry to hear your birth did not go as planned either. I really hope that things go better for both of us in the future.

 

[c.m.c]

im scared of most of the other sections- thats why i posted my weaning question in here the NP section

 

[c.m.c]

I hope it's okay to give some input from a different perspective? I find this thread to be really interesting, and I frequent Baby Club so I'm aware of a lot of the threads being referenced...

Part of the problem is that there are a lot of women in Baby Club who came into motherhood with a certain set of goals in mind. I can only give my experience, but I get the impression that a lot of other women feel the same. I wanted to breastfeed more than anything. I bought a medela breastfeeding gift set, ordered a pump at the hospital, and had the initial goal of breastfeeding for the first six months. I also had the plan of having a natural birth. All I knew was that I wanted as little medical intervention as necessary and no pain medications.

I was diagnosed with preclampsia at 36 weeks. I had to give birth to my baby that weekend for both of our safeties. My body wasn't ready. I was on a pitocin drip off and on for two days, had cervodil over night both nights I was taken off the pitocin. Ultimately, even after they manually broke my water, there was little to no progress and I had to have a c-section to prevent infection (also, I was in so much pain - my contractions were back to back at maybe a minute and a half apart and there was no guarantee on how much longer they would be). I was also on a magnesium sulfate drip as I was a seizure risk. After Alexandra was delivered, she was extremely sleepy. This gave her a hard time latching, as she would just fall asleep at the breast. I think it was partially because of this that we never really got on at breastfeeding.

I combi fed for five weeks, but that ended up making me incredibly depressed. I felt like a failure, and I finally found it both our best interests to switch to formula feeding.

I want to have another go at breastfeeding with our next child, and I'm hoping against hope that this next attempt is much more successful. And there is a TON of great breastfeeding support here (I'm looking at you bky , if it's okay if I single you out), and I hope to take advantage of that later.

But I have come across a lot of threads with some pretty judgmental posts regarding formula feeding v breastfeeding. Part of what puts me on defense in these threads is that I feel like somehow I've done something wrong to not give my baby the best chance. I wanted so much to breastfeed and it just didn't work out. Whether this wording is intentional or not, it's really hard to understand what a lot of women are going through, especially if you've never had problems breastfeeding, or if you had the support necessary to get over the hurdles you came across.

With regard to natural parenting, it's tough when you realize that your birth isn't going to be what you expected at all. I seriously applaud all women who were able to successfully give birth without medical intervention. I hope to be a successful VBAC lady this next go 'round. I think birth is an insanely empowering experience, and I hope to experience it fully some day. But it's really hard to hear women describe their natural birthing experiences with and underlying judgmental tone, because I really had no choice in order to make sure Alexandra was delivered in a healthy way that also kept me healthy.

I hope what I'm getting at makes sense at all. This has been a sleepy week. And I'm not trying to be judgmental at all. Just trying to give what bit of the "other side of things" that I can.

First of all , i had problems breast feeding so i can see where you are coming from but its our own guilt that makes us feel that way, if we had chosen to FF from birth then those posts wouldent bother us. Some people do come across as being on their high horse, usualy because they havent had or saw any one else having problems BF but iv been some FF get anoyed through people saying that they BF because its best for baby when there is no deniying that.

me three.... im one of those ones too who is hoping on hope to do it and make it work second time around..... i still get annoyed when i see adverts on tv calling breastmilk- liquid gold... but as said-- those comments are true it is best and as OP said- it drives the likes of me to succeed mext time!!! heres hoping

 

[NaturalMomma]

Not just you. Never felt like my type of parenting belonged there (but I didn't care ). AP/NP constantly gets judged and bashed in those groups, but we're not suppose to say anything bad about mainstream parenting. And according to many threads I've seen AP/NP kids are whiny, brats who have no discipline so will end up in jail and are super clingy to their parents

 

[indy and lara]

Och you know, I sometimes think that the fact that there is a separate section/ title/ name for what you are doing is what makes it divisive. When you label things separately then you do naturally separate from people who are not doing it.

I do understand that people want their 'own' section but I am not sure that there is any easy way to bridge this divide.

 

[Blob]

Tbh I think it's more because it's such a huge group and unless you are pc about your opinions and views you will have people jumping on you

I tend to just reply to the threads but don't say anything personal about my life

 

[fluffpuffin]

I hope it's okay to give some input from a different perspective? I find this thread to be really interesting, and I frequent Baby Club so I'm aware of a lot of the threads being referenced...

Part of the problem is that there are a lot of women in Baby Club who came into motherhood with a certain set of goals in mind. I can only give my experience, but I get the impression that a lot of other women feel the same. I wanted to breastfeed more than anything. I bought a medela breastfeeding gift set, ordered a pump at the hospital, and had the initial goal of breastfeeding for the first six months. I also had the plan of having a natural birth. All I knew was that I wanted as little medical intervention as necessary and no pain medications.

I was diagnosed with preclampsia at 36 weeks. I had to give birth to my baby that weekend for both of our safeties. My body wasn't ready. I was on a pitocin drip off and on for two days, had cervodil over night both nights I was taken off the pitocin. Ultimately, even after they manually broke my water, there was little to no progress and I had to have a c-section to prevent infection (also, I was in so much pain - my contractions were back to back at maybe a minute and a half apart and there was no guarantee on how much longer they would be). I was also on a magnesium sulfate drip as I was a seizure risk. After Alexandra was delivered, she was extremely sleepy. This gave her a hard time latching, as she would just fall asleep at the breast. I think it was partially because of this that we never really got on at breastfeeding.

I combi fed for five weeks, but that ended up making me incredibly depressed. I felt like a failure, and I finally found it both our best interests to switch to formula feeding.

I want to have another go at breastfeeding with our next child, and I'm hoping against hope that this next attempt is much more successful. And there is a TON of great breastfeeding support here (I'm looking at you bky , if it's okay if I single you out), and I hope to take advantage of that later.

But I have come across a lot of threads with some pretty judgmental posts regarding formula feeding v breastfeeding. Part of what puts me on defense in these threads is that I feel like somehow I've done something wrong to not give my baby the best chance. I wanted so much to breastfeed and it just didn't work out. Whether this wording is intentional or not, it's really hard to understand what a lot of women are going through, especially if you've never had problems breastfeeding, or if you had the support necessary to get over the hurdles you came across.

With regard to natural parenting, it's tough when you realize that your birth isn't going to be what you expected at all. I seriously applaud all women who were able to successfully give birth without medical intervention. I hope to be a successful VBAC lady this next go 'round. I think birth is an insanely empowering experience, and I hope to experience it fully some day. But it's really hard to hear women describe their natural birthing experiences with and underlying judgmental tone, because I really had no choice in order to make sure Alexandra was delivered in a healthy way that also kept me healthy.

I hope what I'm getting at makes sense at all. This has been a sleepy week. And I'm not trying to be judgmental at all. Just trying to give what bit of the "other side of things" that I can.

First of all , i had problems breast feeding so i can see where you are coming from but its our own guilt that makes us feel that way, if we had chosen to FF from birth then those posts wouldent bother us. Some people do come across as being on their high horse, usualy because they havent had or saw any one else having problems BF but iv been some FF get anoyed through people saying that they BF because its best for baby when there is no deniying that.

me three.... im one of those ones too who is hoping on hope to do it and make it work second time around..... i still get annoyed when i see adverts on tv calling breastmilk- liquid gold... but as said-- those comments are true it is best and as OP said- it drives the likes of me to succeed mext time!!! heres hoping

TBH, no-one should feel guilty or be made to feel guilty. It was only when I bf myself that I realised how hard it really is to persevere. It does NOT come naturally in the beginning despite how natural a process it may appear to be - bleeding nipples, mastitis etc. I admit now I would have given up if hubby hadn't refused to buy formula...I was on the verge. Obviously I'm gad I persisted but I can totally understand why so many women switch to formula.

 

[lozzy21]

I hope it's okay to give some input from a different perspective? I find this thread to be really interesting, and I frequent Baby Club so I'm aware of a lot of the threads being referenced...

Part of the problem is that there are a lot of women in Baby Club who came into motherhood with a certain set of goals in mind. I can only give my experience, but I get the impression that a lot of other women feel the same. I wanted to breastfeed more than anything. I bought a medela breastfeeding gift set, ordered a pump at the hospital, and had the initial goal of breastfeeding for the first six months. I also had the plan of having a natural birth. All I knew was that I wanted as little medical intervention as necessary and no pain medications.

I was diagnosed with preclampsia at 36 weeks. I had to give birth to my baby that weekend for both of our safeties. My body wasn't ready. I was on a pitocin drip off and on for two days, had cervodil over night both nights I was taken off the pitocin. Ultimately, even after they manually broke my water, there was little to no progress and I had to have a c-section to prevent infection (also, I was in so much pain - my contractions were back to back at maybe a minute and a half apart and there was no guarantee on how much longer they would be). I was also on a magnesium sulfate drip as I was a seizure risk. After Alexandra was delivered, she was extremely sleepy. This gave her a hard time latching, as she would just fall asleep at the breast. I think it was partially because of this that we never really got on at breastfeeding.

I combi fed for five weeks, but that ended up making me incredibly depressed. I felt like a failure, and I finally found it both our best interests to switch to formula feeding.

I want to have another go at breastfeeding with our next child, and I'm hoping against hope that this next attempt is much more successful. And there is a TON of great breastfeeding support here (I'm looking at you bky , if it's okay if I single you out), and I hope to take advantage of that later.

But I have come across a lot of threads with some pretty judgmental posts regarding formula feeding v breastfeeding. Part of what puts me on defense in these threads is that I feel like somehow I've done something wrong to not give my baby the best chance. I wanted so much to breastfeed and it just didn't work out. Whether this wording is intentional or not, it's really hard to understand what a lot of women are going through, especially if you've never had problems breastfeeding, or if you had the support necessary to get over the hurdles you came across.

With regard to natural parenting, it's tough when you realize that your birth isn't going to be what you expected at all. I seriously applaud all women who were able to successfully give birth without medical intervention. I hope to be a successful VBAC lady this next go 'round. I think birth is an insanely empowering experience, and I hope to experience it fully some day. But it's really hard to hear women describe their natural birthing experiences with and underlying judgmental tone, because I really had no choice in order to make sure Alexandra was delivered in a healthy way that also kept me healthy.

I hope what I'm getting at makes sense at all. This has been a sleepy week. And I'm not trying to be judgmental at all. Just trying to give what bit of the "other side of things" that I can.

First of all , i had problems breast feeding so i can see where you are coming from but its our own guilt that makes us feel that way, if we had chosen to FF from birth then those posts wouldent bother us. Some people do come across as being on their high horse, usualy because they havent had or saw any one else having problems BF but iv been some FF get anoyed through people saying that they BF because its best for baby when there is no deniying that.

me three.... im one of those ones too who is hoping on hope to do it and make it work second time around..... i still get annoyed when i see adverts on tv calling breastmilk- liquid gold... but as said-- those comments are true it is best and as OP said- it drives the likes of me to succeed mext time!!! heres hoping

TBH, no-one should feel guilty or be made to feel guilty. It was only when I bf myself that I realised how hard it really is to persevere. It does NOT come naturally in the beginning despite how natural a process it may appear to be - bleeding nipples, mastitis etc. I admit now I would have given up if hubby hadn't refused to buy formula...I was on the verge. Obviously I'm gad I persisted but I can totally understand why so many women switch to formula.

I dont want to sound bitchy as i know you havet done it on purpose but its comments like yours that upset me the most. Some of us dident choose to switch to forumla, it was that or have them starve. I wish it was as simple as sore nipples, mastitus or something that we could battle through but not all problems can be fixed.

 

[babyjiva]

Hi. if you frequent BC you probably know me as the hated AP member, maybe even the most hated and I'm pretty sure the "post here if you parent like me" thread or whatever it said, was a reaction to a thread I posted asking AP moms if they use the NP forum. I was asking this because I really think there needs to be an AP forum.

For two reasons.
1. to lessen the debates in BC
2. so I can post things comfortably and know get like minded input

the fact is, a good debate is healthy. if you didn't have AP moms and CP (conventional parenting) moms in the same place, no one would ever question their parenting. that's not good!!
however, maybe parenting isn't something good to debate about. let's face it…women get really upset over there. it seems true that CP moms think AP moms are on a high horse and they judge things that come out of our mouths and often feel offended when offense was not intended. the same could be said about AP moms but the truth is i've never seen an AP mom yell at a CP mom for making her feel like shi*.
For this reason, I think although debates are nice, they are not usually constructive between AP and CP moms...because it's less about educating and always ends up being attacks on personality and manners etc. Because this forum is supposed to be constructive, I think we need our own spaces and that labels are useful in this case.

After reading all of this, I think this is where I belong!

I agree with a few earlier posts that when we get jumped on, it is partly how we word things. I have never called anyone any mean names or otherwise implied that anyone is stupid, but I've had my share of blunt and insensitive posts and don't blame CP moms for calling me out for it. At least on a few occasions I have strongly disagreed with another mother when they probably didn't want my advice to begin with.

more often than not, way more often, I have only intended to give my two cents, just like everyone else does, on a topic… and boy have i gotten it. simply because i disagreed with the original OP or someone else.

I see I'm not the only one that this happens to and I vote for an AP forum!!!

 

[fluffpuffin]

I hope it's okay to give some input from a different perspective? I find this thread to be really interesting, and I frequent Baby Club so I'm aware of a lot of the threads being referenced...

Part of the problem is that there are a lot of women in Baby Club who came into motherhood with a certain set of goals in mind. I can only give my experience, but I get the impression that a lot of other women feel the same. I wanted to breastfeed more than anything. I bought a medela breastfeeding gift set, ordered a pump at the hospital, and had the initial goal of breastfeeding for the first six months. I also had the plan of having a natural birth. All I knew was that I wanted as little medical intervention as necessary and no pain medications.

I was diagnosed with preclampsia at 36 weeks. I had to give birth to my baby that weekend for both of our safeties. My body wasn't ready. I was on a pitocin drip off and on for two days, had cervodil over night both nights I was taken off the pitocin. Ultimately, even after they manually broke my water, there was little to no progress and I had to have a c-section to prevent infection (also, I was in so much pain - my contractions were back to back at maybe a minute and a half apart and there was no guarantee on how much longer they would be). I was also on a magnesium sulfate drip as I was a seizure risk. After Alexandra was delivered, she was extremely sleepy. This gave her a hard time latching, as she would just fall asleep at the breast. I think it was partially because of this that we never really got on at breastfeeding.

I combi fed for five weeks, but that ended up making me incredibly depressed. I felt like a failure, and I finally found it both our best interests to switch to formula feeding.

I want to have another go at breastfeeding with our next child, and I'm hoping against hope that this next attempt is much more successful. And there is a TON of great breastfeeding support here (I'm looking at you bky , if it's okay if I single you out), and I hope to take advantage of that later.

But I have come across a lot of threads with some pretty judgmental posts regarding formula feeding v breastfeeding. Part of what puts me on defense in these threads is that I feel like somehow I've done something wrong to not give my baby the best chance. I wanted so much to breastfeed and it just didn't work out. Whether this wording is intentional or not, it's really hard to understand what a lot of women are going through, especially if you've never had problems breastfeeding, or if you had the support necessary to get over the hurdles you came across.

With regard to natural parenting, it's tough when you realize that your birth isn't going to be what you expected at all. I seriously applaud all women who were able to successfully give birth without medical intervention. I hope to be a successful VBAC lady this next go 'round. I think birth is an insanely empowering experience, and I hope to experience it fully some day. But it's really hard to hear women describe their natural birthing experiences with and underlying judgmental tone, because I really had no choice in order to make sure Alexandra was delivered in a healthy way that also kept me healthy.

I hope what I'm getting at makes sense at all. This has been a sleepy week. And I'm not trying to be judgmental at all. Just trying to give what bit of the "other side of things" that I can.

First of all , i had problems breast feeding so i can see where you are coming from but its our own guilt that makes us feel that way, if we had chosen to FF from birth then those posts wouldent bother us. Some people do come across as being on their high horse, usualy because they havent had or saw any one else having problems BF but iv been some FF get anoyed through people saying that they BF because its best for baby when there is no deniying that.

me three.... im one of those ones too who is hoping on hope to do it and make it work second time around..... i still get annoyed when i see adverts on tv calling breastmilk- liquid gold... but as said-- those comments are true it is best and as OP said- it drives the likes of me to succeed mext time!!! heres hoping

TBH, no-one should feel guilty or be made to feel guilty. It was only when I bf myself that I realised how hard it really is to persevere. It does NOT come naturally in the beginning despite how natural a process it may appear to be - bleeding nipples, mastitis etc. I admit now I would have given up if hubby hadn't refused to buy formula...I was on the verge. Obviously I'm gad I persisted but I can totally understand why so many women switch to formula.

I dont want to sound bitchy as i know you havet done it on purpose but its comments like yours that upset me the most. Some of us dident choose to switch to forumla, it was that or have them starve. I wish it was as simple as sore nipples, mastitus or something that we could battle through but not all problems can be fixed.

I never mentioned 'choose' to switch and I didn't aim this comment at you - sorry if this appeared that way as I quoted you. In fact I wasn't saying anything nasty, I was trying to be nice I appreciate your situation is different...

 

[lozzy21]

I hope it's okay to give some input from a different perspective? I find this thread to be really interesting, and I frequent Baby Club so I'm aware of a lot of the threads being referenced...

Part of the problem is that there are a lot of women in Baby Club who came into motherhood with a certain set of goals in mind. I can only give my experience, but I get the impression that a lot of other women feel the same. I wanted to breastfeed more than anything. I bought a medela breastfeeding gift set, ordered a pump at the hospital, and had the initial goal of breastfeeding for the first six months. I also had the plan of having a natural birth. All I knew was that I wanted as little medical intervention as necessary and no pain medications.

I was diagnosed with preclampsia at 36 weeks. I had to give birth to my baby that weekend for both of our safeties. My body wasn't ready. I was on a pitocin drip off and on for two days, had cervodil over night both nights I was taken off the pitocin. Ultimately, even after they manually broke my water, there was little to no progress and I had to have a c-section to prevent infection (also, I was in so much pain - my contractions were back to back at maybe a minute and a half apart and there was no guarantee on how much longer they would be). I was also on a magnesium sulfate drip as I was a seizure risk. After Alexandra was delivered, she was extremely sleepy. This gave her a hard time latching, as she would just fall asleep at the breast. I think it was partially because of this that we never really got on at breastfeeding.

I combi fed for five weeks, but that ended up making me incredibly depressed. I felt like a failure, and I finally found it both our best interests to switch to formula feeding.

I want to have another go at breastfeeding with our next child, and I'm hoping against hope that this next attempt is much more successful. And there is a TON of great breastfeeding support here (I'm looking at you bky , if it's okay if I single you out), and I hope to take advantage of that later.

But I have come across a lot of threads with some pretty judgmental posts regarding formula feeding v breastfeeding. Part of what puts me on defense in these threads is that I feel like somehow I've done something wrong to not give my baby the best chance. I wanted so much to breastfeed and it just didn't work out. Whether this wording is intentional or not, it's really hard to understand what a lot of women are going through, especially if you've never had problems breastfeeding, or if you had the support necessary to get over the hurdles you came across.

With regard to natural parenting, it's tough when you realize that your birth isn't going to be what you expected at all. I seriously applaud all women who were able to successfully give birth without medical intervention. I hope to be a successful VBAC lady this next go 'round. I think birth is an insanely empowering experience, and I hope to experience it fully some day. But it's really hard to hear women describe their natural birthing experiences with and underlying judgmental tone, because I really had no choice in order to make sure Alexandra was delivered in a healthy way that also kept me healthy.

I hope what I'm getting at makes sense at all. This has been a sleepy week. And I'm not trying to be judgmental at all. Just trying to give what bit of the "other side of things" that I can.

First of all , i had problems breast feeding so i can see where you are coming from but its our own guilt that makes us feel that way, if we had chosen to FF from birth then those posts wouldent bother us. Some people do come across as being on their high horse, usualy because they havent had or saw any one else having problems BF but iv been some FF get anoyed through people saying that they BF because its best for baby when there is no deniying that.

me three.... im one of those ones too who is hoping on hope to do it and make it work second time around..... i still get annoyed when i see adverts on tv calling breastmilk- liquid gold... but as said-- those comments are true it is best and as OP said- it drives the likes of me to succeed mext time!!! heres hoping

TBH, no-one should feel guilty or be made to feel guilty. It was only when I bf myself that I realised how hard it really is to persevere. It does NOT come naturally in the beginning despite how natural a process it may appear to be - bleeding nipples, mastitis etc. I admit now I would have given up if hubby hadn't refused to buy formula...I was on the verge. Obviously I'm gad I persisted but I can totally understand why so many women switch to formula.

I dont want to sound bitchy as i know you havet done it on purpose but its comments like yours that upset me the most. Some of us dident choose to switch to forumla, it was that or have them starve. I wish it was as simple as sore nipples, mastitus or something that we could battle through but not all problems can be fixed.

I never mentioned 'choose' to switch and I didn't aim this comment at you - sorry if this appeared that way as I quoted you. In fact I wasn't saying anything nasty, I was trying to be nice I appreciate your situation is different...

I know you were trying to be nice but grrr i cant think if what im trying to say with out sounding like im trying to start an argument so il stop.

 

[henny]

Fluffpuffin- you didn't come across as being horrible. I couldn't bf my first son as he wouldn't latch properly and milk didn't come in yet my second son was bf for 12mths, we had some problems but family were very supportive and the hv was great

 

[Pixelle]

Yea I said I was proud of giving birth naturally without pain relief and was called ignorant and all of a sudden accused of that I supposedly feel like I'm better than others and that I supposedly meant that nobody can be proud of giving birth unless it's natural or something. Really obnoxious.
Same with Breastfeeding, alot of the ff ladies get easily upset when you say something about bf'ing..

I'd like to defend myself, if I may:

You were being ignorant though! It was stated many, many, many times that not every woman can give birth naturally. Yet you kept saying the "every woman" thing, over and again.
I don't usually resort to name calling, but there was no other word for it. Belligerent, maybe?
I'm not being mean. I'm not a horrible person. You just alienated and caused quite a bit of offense with your wording and refusal to stop with the "every woman" thing.
Nothing wrong with being proud of yourself. But when you make sweeping generalisations and make others feel inferior, it's not nice.

Back to this thread...yes we all have different styles of parenting. But sometimes it's the way people word things that upsets/offends others. None of us are perfect but sometimes I do think people know what they're doing when they're starting/posting on a thread they know will cause trouble.

 

[c.m.c]

i did choose to stop- thats why i feel bad......I gave up BF as i hadnt a bloody clue what i was at - no joke- i wish i had found BnB a long time ago. I gave up when i was readmitted to hospital and all my family told me 'you have done well, just stop now and rest' ahhhh that drives me mad now when i think back- people encouraging me to stop!!!

fluffpuffin im not one bit offended- although i need hubby next time to do what yours did!!!! thats of course if everything goes well and baby can latch etc!!! goodness cant believe im talking baby no 2 ahhhhhh

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

I don't know if any of you remember Ally? her username was aob1013, she was and is an avid BF supporter, she's actually a peer supporter now for BF. She was slated so much on this site for expressing her opinion, yet the majority of her posts were some of the best and most informative I have ever read, however, because people took it the wrong way, she ended up with a lot of grief and hassle.

It seems to me that some people, no matter what thread it is in can be nasty and basically call you anything they like, but so long as they follow it up with a then all is well.

 

[winegums]

But she upset a LOT of people a LOT of the time?

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

But she upset a LOT of people a LOT of the time?

This isn't a debate about her, this is about how some people can be misunderstood.

 

[aliss]

I will admit, that in my heart, I do honestly think that some women in there make what I believe to be "bad" choices. I will admit that I hate the concept of "parent-directed" parenting practices. Hearing women 'brag' about those makes me shake my head. Just my honesty. And I'm sure many of them feel the same way about me.

However, I feel that it's important to support other mothers in their efforts, and not to outwardly judge them, unless it conflicts with my ethical beliefs (and that's when I feel a certain practice falls into neglect - that I won't discuss right now). How I feel about "poor" choices is just my opinion and shouldn't stop me from having a civil discussion with others.

 

[aliss]

And as an aside, AP is, IMO, a bond between mother and baby. Yes, AP encourages methods to strengthen this bond and to raise baby as baby was meant to be raised (babywearing, breastfeeding, bedsharing), but at the end of the day, you can be a formula-feeding, stroller-using, crib, jar-using (FYI Sears is TW, not BLW) AP mother. You can be a fulltime working AP mother and a fulltime SAHM non-AP mother. It's a philosophy about the bond. The only real divide between AP and "modern"/"20th century" practices is the CIO issue - which is never used unless the baby is in danger from an angry mother.

 

[aragornlover8]

And as an aside, AP is, IMO, a bond between mother and baby. Yes, AP encourages methods to strengthen this bond and to raise baby as baby was meant to be raised (babywearing, breastfeeding, bedsharing), but at the end of the day, you can be a formula-feeding, stroller-using, crib, jar-using (FYI Sears is TW, not BLW) AP mother. You can be a fulltime working AP mother and a fulltime SAHM non-AP mother. It's a philosophy about the bond. The only real divide between AP and "modern"/"20th century" practices is the CIO issue - which is never used unless the baby is in danger from an angry mother.

So if I don't let her cry for any extended period of the time (I "sleep train" in that we have a routine, but I always soothe her when she cries), then I follow AP?? I'm kind of just trying to understand where I fall. I don't traditionally baby wear as I don't have a wrap, but I hold her pretty much throughout the day during her fussy times.