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@tdog I wish I could give you a real hug. Take your time to heal, it's not a pity party, you are grieving and it's not only normal, it's necessary. So sorry you didn't get your rainbow this month love.
 
@tdog I’m so sorry lovely :hugs: it’s understandable that you’re going to be feeling emotional. You’ve been through a lot! We’re here for whatever you need, you can always come and vent here with no need for an apology!

@Suggerhoney glad you’ve got that peak! Mine is close to peak now as well so we’ll be on similar cycles again!
 
tdog said:
Done another not long ago and maybe a shadow so definitely waiting on af now I'm putting the tests away and not testing anymore so disheartening:cry: I should have been 18 weeks yesterday :cry: never thought I'd be obsessing over tests again but here iam :shrug: sorry for my pitty party over here I had a letter today to see if I wanted counciling I have been fine then saw that I cried :cry: xx
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:hugs::hugs::hugs:
 
Thank you ladies its my own fault in all honesty they said your very fertile after you've lost a baby or even qhen you've have one so I initially thought yes we will have caught :shrug: in a way heal a broken heart but not forgetting my bean I lost if that makes sense, but I must carry on I will try not to stress just hard tho isn't it ladies we can say we won't but we will :cry: xx
 
@lomelindi17
Oh no sorry he was like that but happy things got sorted. there’s a lady on Here who’s been through IVF because her other half had sperm problems. She is now pregnant naturally no help and also think her last child in 2020 was conceived naturally as well. Praying you get ure BFP love and it gives u a massive surprise.


@tdog
Oh love please u can always vent here and to me when ever love. It’s horrible what yoi went through. When I lost my first at nearly 11 weeks I was broken for a long long time after.
Even the one I lost in June I also keep thinking I would be about 13 weeks now. It’s so so hard to stop thinking about it.
I know when it gets to Feb next year too and the due date oh gosh that’s always hard. I pray so hard we both and the other ladies here that have lost. I pray we ALL get our forever take home Rainbows soon. [-o<
 
@Suggerhoney thanks that’s encouraging, he thinks I’m dumb for keeping testing but I just feel like if there’s even a slight chance then I’d want to know.

I’ve thought about that too, what if I didn’t lose my baby in 2018, I’d have 2 children 3 years apart, I might never have gotten divorced (not a good thing, he was abusive, we split up a few weeks after the miscarriage so I didn’t get to try again), life would look a lot different now. I was relieved to be away from him at the time so I wasn’t as sad about not having another baby until a while later when I realized my daughter was growing older without a sibling. I dreamt once a long time ago of a little boy with dark curly hair and he was to be my son, it was soo vivid he was looking right in my eyes up close. So I’ve always kind of felt I wanted to have more kids after my daughter but it’s odd to me now bc she’ll be 7 in 3 months, new partner, our relationship has always been pretty rocky and on and off again, I often question if it’s the right thing to do or not. But can’t help wanting to bring my son I dreamed of. Sorry if that’s strange haha. Hope we all get our rainbows, and soon <3
 
lomelindi17 said:
@Suggerhoney thanks that’s encouraging, he thinks I’m dumb for keeping testing but I just feel like if there’s even a slight chance then I’d want to know.

I’ve thought about that too, what if I didn’t lose my baby in 2018, I’d have 2 children 3 years apart, I might never have gotten divorced (not a good thing, he was abusive, we split up a few weeks after the miscarriage so I didn’t get to try again), life would look a lot different now. I was relieved to be away from him at the time so I wasn’t as sad about not having another baby until a while later when I realized my daughter was growing older without a sibling. I dreamt once a long time ago of a little boy with dark curly hair and he was to be my son, it was soo vivid he was looking right in my eyes up close. So I’ve always kind of felt I wanted to have more kids after my daughter but it’s odd to me now bc she’ll be 7 in 3 months, new partner, our relationship has always been pretty rocky and on and off again, I often question if it’s the right thing to do or not. But can’t help wanting to bring my son I dreamed of. Sorry if that’s strange haha. Hope we all get our rainbows, and soon <3
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Oh love I’m sorry you were In a abusive relationship and sorry about ure loss but glad u got away.
I don’t think your mad love at all. Maybe that dream was In the future and u will get that little boy. I sincerely hope it happens.
 
@Suggerhoney I’m so happy to see you got your peak! Wishing you all the baby dust!
Thanks for checking on me. I am doing okay. I have my first ultrasound in a couple of weeks. I’m guessing just one in there, but I’ve heard multiples can be more common in older mums. So, who knows !?

@tdog I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I was 18 weeks along when I delivered my baby girl stillborn. I was deeply depressed for the entire year after that. It’s been five years and when I think about her, I still have a really hard time. Thankfully I have my rainbow and will hopefully have one more baby to love earthside. Wishing all good things for you, mama!

@HopefulPony i do agree that it sounds like she had a chemical pregnancy this month. Im so sorry. ((Hugs))
 
elmum said:
@Suggerhoney I’m so happy to see you got your peak! Wishing you all the baby dust!
Thanks for checking on me. I am doing okay. I have my first ultrasound in a couple of weeks. I’m guessing just one in there, but I’ve heard multiples can be more common in older mums. So, who knows !?

@tdog I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I was 18 weeks along when I delivered my baby girl stillborn. I was deeply depressed for the entire year after that. It’s been five years and when I think about her, I still have a really hard time. Thankfully I have my rainbow and will hopefully have one more baby to love earthside. Wishing all good things for you, mama!

@HopefulPony i do agree that it sounds like she had a chemical pregnancy this month. Im so sorry. ((Hugs))
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hi love. Just read that u lost a baby girl at 18 weeks. I never new that. That is heart wrenching. I am so so sorry you had to go through that kind of trauma my love. Absolutely devastating.

I’m so happy ure pregnant now and I pray ure scan goes really really well,

yes I was told I have a higher risk of twins now I’m over 40. I do have 2 sets of twins in family (my mums dads sister) and also dh has 2 sets on his dads side.
we have had 4 kids so far and so far avoided the twins unless it was with one of my losses.

I’m not sure how I feel about twins tbh, my husband would freek out I know that for Certain lol.
im hoping to fall with just the one baby.

how are you feeling hon any symptoms yet?
 
Suggerhoney said:
@lomelindi17
Oh no sorry he was like that but happy things got sorted. there’s a lady on Here who’s been through IVF because her other half had sperm problems. She is now pregnant naturally no help and also think her last child in 2020 was conceived naturally as well. Praying you get ure BFP love and it gives u a massive surprise.


@tdog
Oh love please u can always vent here and to me when ever love. It’s horrible what yoi went through. When I lost my first at nearly 11 weeks I was broken for a long long time after.
Even the one I lost in June I also keep thinking I would be about 13 weeks now. It’s so so hard to stop thinking about it.
I know when it gets to Feb next year too and the due date oh gosh that’s always hard. I pray so hard we both and the other ladies here that have lost. I pray we ALL get our forever take home Rainbows soon. [-o&lt;
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Yes this is me! And exactly spot on.
We are living proof that it can happen.

We tried for 4 years and then told we had nearly zero chance naturally conceiving due to sperm issues. Out of 13 embryos we only had 2 left on the day of transfer that became our twins. My egg quality was rubbish, AMH levels pretty rubbish. Multiple miscarriages because my egg quality was likely causing them and the reason we had so few surviving embryos. We decided to never do it again and felt lucky we got the twins against all the odds.
Fast forward 7 years pregnant naturally we lost that little one at 8 weeks but fell immediately the next month and had our little girl.
My husband had a vastectomy and one last hurrah I’m now pregnant with another baby naturally! Crazy all together. we don’t know how this pregnancy will go it’s 50/50 for me but trying to go with the flow.
But ladies I know it’s so hard to be disappointed each month, I was spending every waking moment testing for 4 years straight but please know that miracles can and do happen xx
 
Well 11DPO and it’s BFN for me. I’m
Cramping already so just going to wait for AF now. Feeling gutted. I really had a good feeling this month. 1 more try before we move to other options…

not a great day today. On holiday was waiting for my kids to join us tomorrow (they were at their dads) the little one had Covid last week and just as we thought they have the all clear to come join us now my eldest has it as of today. They are gutted and we are gutted. It seems that lately everything is going wrong. Probably just pre AF blues.
 
elmum said:
Will be crossing everything this happens like this! That’s what happened to me…O’d a. Couple of days after started my new job and found out I was pregnant at the end of my second week. After two years TTC this baby. I’m not complaining but it’s crazy timing!
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Haha yes! As much as I would feel bad for the workplace I wouldn't even be upset if it happened, it's been 3 years now of TTC and a second baby takes priority over any job for me
 
I'm feeling really crap and depressed right now, not even over ttc just life stress and the kids dad (ex) is being a nightmare again suddenly. He was also abusive and likes to have control over me, turning up out the blue wanting to take the kids out with no warning. The other day he said he was going to cut all contact 'emotional and financial' as he put it and then he just shows up, we were busy too it was bad timing.
I don't want to live on edge the whole time in my own house I should be able to walk around in my pj's if you know what I mean and be relaxed. It's my daughters birthday next weekend so I know he will show up then..what makes it worse is my other half isn't here he's going to a family wedding.. And it scares me to he alone in the house with their dad. I keep crying over it and can't sleep properly its really affecting me.
All he meant by cutting ties is he'll show up when he feels like it and won't pay any money. I hate the way he makes me feel so small and powerless.
Sorry for the rant and not catching up properly with everyone
 
josephine3 said:
I'm feeling really crap and depressed right now, not even over ttc just life stress and the kids dad (ex) is being a nightmare again suddenly. He was also abusive and likes to have control over me, turning up out the blue wanting to take the kids out with no warning. The other day he said he was going to cut all contact 'emotional and financial' as he put it and then he just shows up, we were busy too it was bad timing.
I don't want to live on edge the whole time in my own house I should be able to walk around in my pj's if you know what I mean and be relaxed. It's my daughters birthday next weekend so I know he will show up then..what makes it worse is my other half isn't here he's going to a family wedding.. And it scares me to he alone in the house with their dad. I keep crying over it and can't sleep properly its really affecting me.
All he meant by cutting ties is he'll show up when he feels like it and won't pay any money. I hate the way he makes me feel so small and powerless.
Sorry for the rant and not catching up properly with everyone
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Oh that sounds awful, im sorry you're dealing with that. You're right you should be able to wear and do whatever in your own house without worry. I hope you somehow find a solution that helps xx
 
josephine3 said:
I'm feeling really crap and depressed right now, not even over ttc just life stress and the kids dad (ex) is being a nightmare again suddenly. He was also abusive and likes to have control over me, turning up out the blue wanting to take the kids out with no warning. The other day he said he was going to cut all contact 'emotional and financial' as he put it and then he just shows up, we were busy too it was bad timing.
I don't want to live on edge the whole time in my own house I should be able to walk around in my pj's if you know what I mean and be relaxed. It's my daughters birthday next weekend so I know he will show up then..what makes it worse is my other half isn't here he's going to a family wedding.. And it scares me to he alone in the house with their dad. I keep crying over it and can't sleep properly its really affecting me.
All he meant by cutting ties is he'll show up when he feels like it and won't pay any money. I hate the way he makes me feel so small and powerless.
Sorry for the rant and not catching up properly with everyone
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I’m sorry you have to go through this. It’s not right. Of course you are upset about it. Anyone close to you other than OH who can join at your daughters birthday so you are not alone?
 
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