Babee_Bugs - Testing section - BFP PG176 - 1st Scan Booked 13-09-12

[Babee_Bugs]

Heres Another... im starting to dislike these, on this batch that i got, the dye just seems to linger ages around the testing area, so its hard in IRL to try and determine if thats a line brewing or just some dye still making its way across.

I think hes pretty adamant he doesnt want another child, just some of the things hes been saying, really has me convinced that he doesnt want anymore!

Symptoms today: I feel ILL... my head is stuff, nose puffy, Couldnt sleep properally lastnight kept tossing and turning, also had a very very vivid dream, that i gave birth to a baby girl, but it turned out that my last miscarriage wasnt one and i was still indeed pregnant so i had no idea and just gave birth!!!... i woke up in a right sweat. For the past few days cervix has been very very low, but this morning its very very high up there and its the firmest and tightly closed ive ever felt it!... Also checked my Temp! which again is very very high... but could it be cos im feeling under the weather???

https://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h177/leannerain/P1090376.jpg

 

[wookie130]

Still seeing a BFN there, honey. I'm sorry.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Oh dont be sorry chick... At the end of the day i dont see a positive either... just hoping i do eventually get one, because all of the things/symptoms thats going on... so i just hope im not nuts

 

[Babee_Bugs]

FMU and 2MU

Ive done a tweak, which i must say isnt my best but ya know sometimes needs must and all lol

 

[_jellybean_]

i've been quietly stalking you and my suggestion is *IF* you do get af this cycle maybe go on birth control or use condoms for a few months so that your hubby can recover from the pain of the miscarriages and then after a few months bring it up to him how much it really means to you and how you would really like to try again and i'm sure he will agree and just try not to tell him anything about it until you get your positive and maybe even after its confirmed with the doctor so that he doesn't get so emotional cause we all know men dont handle emotions well..

good luck though and i'm hoping this cycle ends in your rainbow

Babee, do you think that maybe he does just need a break for a few months? I agree with Brit...I bet that this has been really hard for him as well, and maybe he needs some time to grieve? Sometimes men mourn differently than women (imo).

I see very light lines on your tests, but not sure if I have line eye or not. I'm sorry your dh doesn't want to keep trying Maybe giving him a bit of a break will help him though. Maybe he's scared. ?? xx

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Jelly i dont know.... We have talked to eachother regarding the losses etc, hes peed off there have happened and he got such a shock when we went for our 12 week scan and it showed no baby!... he wasnt expecting that and obviously i wasnt either.

When i miscarried in July, i was against trying... but it was him, that was adamant we will get pregnant again!! and we'll keep doing it untill we get it right... I told him at the time that we'll just go with the flow and see what happens.

But since then, hes been around loads of screaming babies/kids and he shudders and says "oooo i cant be doing with that"... just things like that. I dont badger him regarding TTC, its pointless... He does know that i want another child and i know that he doesnt.

I keep everything to myself.. ive been feeling abit down this past week, and hes asked me a few times whats up... but i just cant blurt it all out! i want a baby, now more than ever! to get to the point of being pregnant twice and come away with nothing is heartbreaking.... but i dont feel like i can tell him that, because i know he will just frown at me and say "but i dont want too" and to hear those words just breaks my heart

so i guess im just trying my best to bury the "subject" in the hope that i can just skim past any hurt feelings... although i feel like my feelings are being hurt at the minute :/

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I feel like ive got something on this one!!!

Ive ran out of these ics now.... just need to wait for my new ones to arrive

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Yea definitely a line on that one! WOW! I just pray that God sneaks in a little gift from above.....and to all of you who say she should wait your not in her shoes and you don't know how bad it hurts....your not her and I say its HER and HIS choice to make babies no one elses and so to that I wouldn't judge! Its none of our business I'm just here to support her! As I can't even get pregnant myself in 4 years so I can only KNOW how bad she truly wants a bubba its rough!

 

[bexxc]

i'm pretty sure i see something there, hun...all i can do is cross my fingers and say pretty please over and over!!!

 

[Babee_Bugs]

i cant wait till my new tests arrive!... hoping, praying and crossing everything its a New BFP and not some dodgy evap pink line lol

 

[bexxc]

when do you expect your tests to arrive?

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I bought them on the 14th, there were marked dispatched 15th.... so im hoping there come tomorrow

I feel at a lost without my tests!... but it wont do no harm in not testing

 

[popchick75]

Babee_Bugs-

My ex-husband and I were married for 12 years. We actively tried for a second child for most of that time. When things started to go bad and we weren't sure if we were going to continue on or get divorced, i still stayed off of birth control and hoped to get pregnant. On paper, i'm sure it seemed like a rediculous thing to do, but after wanting something so bad for so long, giving up on that dream was out of the question. I knew that in the end, if I ended up getting pregnant, we would find a way (divorced or married) to make it work. And like your husband, there were times when he wavered back and forth about if he wanted another baby or not.

IMHO, if you went back on birth control until things sort themselves out, you might end up resenting him since it's obviously not what you want, which in turn, might make things worse.

You just have to take it day by day. It sounds like he's had a lot of loss recently. Maybe he just needs time to heal in his own way.

I wish you the best of luck and LOTS of baby dust! I definitely see something on that last test!



PS - I met a wonderful man after the divorce who I've been with for 3 years and is fully supportive of us having a baby together, so the TTC process continues!

 

[brittany12]

i'm not judging her and it is their decision. I was just making a suggestion. I have been trying for a year now (no its not as long as some women) and have not had the first positive test. I do not have any other children and my dh and i have wanted a child for the longest time now and we cant get pregnant so i KNOW how bad it hurts to not be able to get pregnant. I KNOW how much she wants this. However, I do NOT know what its like to miscarry and I am always here to support her, pray for her, and root her on in hopes of her getting her rainbow baby just like I wish for everyone else. I wasn't trying to judge or get in her business and if it seemed that way then i apologize.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Babee_Bugs-

My ex-husband and I were married for 12 years. We actively tried for a second child for most of that time. When things started to go bad and we weren't sure if we were going to continue on or get divorced, i still stayed off of birth control and hoped to get pregnant. On paper, i'm sure it seemed like a rediculous thing to do, but after wanting something so bad for so long, giving up on that dream was out of the question. I knew that in the end, if I ended up getting pregnant, we would find a way (divorced or married) to make it work. And like your husband, there were times when he wavered back and forth about if he wanted another baby or not.

IMHO, if you went back on birth control until things sort themselves out, you might end up resenting him since it's obviously not what you want, which in turn, might make things worse.

You just have to take it day by day. It sounds like he's had a lot of loss recently. Maybe he just needs time to heal in his own way.

I wish you the best of luck and LOTS of baby dust! I definitely see something on that last test!



PS - I met a wonderful man after the divorce who I've been with for 3 years and is fully supportive of us having a baby together, so the TTC process continues!

Thank you popchick.... your right though, i would resent him...

We have both been through sooo much crap this year, its unreal what we have had to deal with. So thats why i havent bugged him and went on and on and on about... with our second loss i didnt cry, i didnt want to show him that i was weak and so therefore i could avoid him from feeling crap and sort out feeling helpless (i suppose anyone hates to feel helpless)...

I wouldnt continue to hope that i was pregnant if he was a rubbish dad... He is Fantastic! i couldnt ask for a better father to my boys... and i know if we did have another child he would still love it no matter what and share the love he has for the boys... Its just the journey on which we need to go on AGAIN to get pregnant and get to the point where everything is ok.. He has said previously, "i wish you could just get pregnant straight away with no problems etc"

I think im just Hormonal! haha

 

[maureenmarsh]

Oh I can't wait to see your new tests

 

[Babee_Bugs]

me either Maureen... feeling slightly giddy

just hope im not let down

 

[_jellybean_]

Yea definitely a line on that one! WOW! I just pray that God sneaks in a little gift from above.....and to all of you who say she should wait your not in her shoes and you don't know how bad it hurts....your not her and I say its HER and HIS choice to make babies no one elses and so to that I wouldn't judge! Its none of our business I'm just here to support her! As I can't even get pregnant myself in 4 years so I can only KNOW how bad she truly wants a bubba its rough!

Not sure if you were talking about me here, but that's not what I was saying. xx

 

[_jellybean_]

Jelly i dont know.... We have talked to eachother regarding the losses etc, hes peed off there have happened and he got such a shock when we went for our 12 week scan and it showed no baby!... he wasnt expecting that and obviously i wasnt either.

When i miscarried in July, i was against trying... but it was him, that was adamant we will get pregnant again!! and we'll keep doing it untill we get it right... I told him at the time that we'll just go with the flow and see what happens.

But since then, hes been around loads of screaming babies/kids and he shudders and says "oooo i cant be doing with that"... just things like that. I dont badger him regarding TTC, its pointless... He does know that i want another child and i know that he doesnt.

I keep everything to myself.. ive been feeling abit down this past week, and hes asked me a few times whats up... but i just cant blurt it all out! i want a baby, now more than ever! to get to the point of being pregnant twice and come away with nothing is heartbreaking.... but i dont feel like i can tell him that, because i know he will just frown at me and say "but i dont want too" and to hear those words just breaks my heart

so i guess im just trying my best to bury the "subject" in the hope that i can just skim past any hurt feelings... although i feel like my feelings are being hurt at the minute :/

That must be really hard. I know that when dh and I were ttc, I talked constantly about it (and it drove him a bit crazy). It's good that you can come here to chat though.

I totally see the second line on the last test you posted. xx

 

[PeaceLoveBaby]

I def see it on the latest test.. GL!