Baby doomers

[Dragonfly]

You have at one point got someone say it to you,

"enjoy it now while it lasts for you wont have a minute after the baby is born"
Said in the tone of: " OMG you made the worst mistake of your life!"

"you wont have time for anything when this baby comes, not even going to the loo!"

"do you know what its going to be like?" cue smug laugh like they found out the hard way and you will to.

What the hell is it with baby doomers? I know its not going to be easy but you dont have to make it sound like i have made the worst mistake of my life and smugly laugh that I will learn the hard way. I dont see it as a catastrophy! I want to look after my baby even if it cries! thats what babies do! and yes they pop and you change the nappy no need to doom that and all. FFS!

do these poeple not like their kids? do they think I wil hate mine and tell other pregnany women of how hard and crap its going to be when baby comes out when thats the one thing you are actually looking forward to?



Again i am aware that babies do cry, they do pop and do require looking after. Its not like its the end of my life! its only the start of something new and to be honest far more exciting than the lonely past.

Anyone else get me when i say this ? I bet your all looking foward to having your babis and someone has come a long and doomed it!

 

[Shifter]

I'm with you hun. These people just like to spoil it for everyone else. I don't know why anyone would get like that though. I'm looking forward to waking up to feed baby in the night, I'm looking forward to everything! I didn't go into this blind, hubby and I made the decision to start a family knowing full well that it isn't all chubby cheeks and giggles!

 

[beancounter]

i had a woman at the swimming pool tell me I was going to get bigger. I mean, d'oh, I have another 8 weeks to go. Thanks for that, here was me, just sitting here thinking the baby would stay the same size till it fell out!

Honestly. The worst thing about pregnancy is people saying irritating things to you. I might get buisness cards with 'I am not you (thank god) I am not giving birth to you child. Therefore, my experiences of motherhood will be different to yours, so stop telling me how I am going to feel!'

 

[Dragonfly]

Thats what i feel to but why do they want to doom it. is it because they think they made a mistake and everyone else is going to be the same? Then they treat me like I havnt a clue what i am doing and that annoys me as I am not stupid, thick or ignorant to what I am going into. I am getting more people saying it closer to my date now as they see i am excited about the labour. Basically I shouldnt be excited according to them.

edit: why do they think when your pregnant your automatically stupid and cant think for yourself?

 

[Shifter]

they see i am excited about the labour. Basically I shouldnt be excited according to them.

I get that a bit now too. I'm really looking forward to our hypnobirth and I'm tired of people being sceptical and making out like birthing has to be this horrific event. I'm sorry they had a bad experience, but not everyone does, some people really enjoy it and I intend to be one of those people!

edit: why do they think when your pregnant your automatically stupid and cant think for yourself?

I don't think people really think that, they just don't think about what they are saying.

 

[hypnorm]

Yep had that this am, and that was from a mum with 2 kids, saying your life will never been the same with 2 kids make the most of it!!

 

[mrscookie]

Oh don't get me started on this subject, if one more person reminds me how hard it is gonna be I will scream.
How does you being negative help me? It does not help prepare me at all. My bloody sister always does it, she says I wont have time to shower, do my hair, blah blah. I wont get any sleep either, nor will breast feeding be easy. People telling me how difficult breast feeding is puts a negative thought into my mind, thus making me feel that if I do struggle with it, I wont try to over come it. Im so determined to get through everything. If someone asks how I am coping, regardless of how tired or down I feel I will be positive just to show them they were wrong. There is nothing worse than people telling you '' I told you so''.
You told me what? You told me that its gonna be hard with sleepless nights, which I FULLY KNOW MYSELF... you told me nothing I didn't already know, so shut up, get lost and leave me to do my thing!
lol
Edit- the stupidest thing I heard was when I was about 27 weeks pregnant and measuring very small for my gestation, and this old bag of a woman who often came into my work place shouted through the door '' YOU GOT TWINS IN THERE'' while laughing. I was so upset at the comment I actually walked out back and cried, I felt embarassed as everyone looked at me, I felt like shit because my baby was potentially too small if anything and this stupid woman just didnt think, she knew how far gone I was due to being a customer and as I said earlier she was always popping by. Then it went to the other extreme from other people- Wow you are so small... which upset me too. What ever happened to saying '' aww your bump is lovely, and you are glowing'' I never got that at all, I just got how small I was or how huge I was. Either way it upset me lol.
xxxx Now I have left work, little one has caught up size wise, I dont give a crap what people say.

 

[nataliecn]

I think these people were possibly people that wanted a cute little cuddly baby that didn't cry or poop. When they had a baby, they were sadly mistaken that yes babies do cry, yes you do have poopy bums to change, etc.

Or maybe they just had a more than difficult baby.

Can't stand people like this. I basically just give them lots of sarcasm back to make them feel stupid! lol.

 

[Dragonfly]

See when all our babies are a few weeks old we all must look perfect and show that our babies are not a hindrence like they have made out to be. They will be wondering where they went wrong and eating their words. make sure and remind them its nothing like they said it was and what did they do to get what they did. My family have said nothing to me like this, even my mum thinks its a stupid thing for poeple to say as we where all good babies apparently.


and another one when i say i am looking forward to the labour i get "oh you wont be saying that when your in labour"
perhaps not but shut the hell up I havnt got there yet, you had your turn.

and as for never showering or poohing again wtf? babies do sleep you can actually carry them about the house in a basket so you are allowed to go and get dressed. Maybe they fussed over their kids to much and they demanded everythig I dont know.

and I dont mean to be arrogant but the ones that have said this have monster kids.

 

[nataliecn]

well, if they have monster children, that's probably why they think being a parent is horrible.

 

[Plumfairy]

I find the worst when people say... Get as much sleep as you can before baby arrives... You wont get ANY then!! Errmmmm..... HEELLOOOOOO..... Do you know how hard it is to sleep with a giant football stuck on your belly?!!! And having to be pushed up by your OH just to get out of bed to go to the loo (10 times a night might I add).... I think I'd rather NOT sleep!! Its far easier being awake!!!! Grrrr!!!

 

[lolly101]

I hate this too. The amount of friends who say to me "oh it is so different with 2..all those sleepless nights" I CAN'T WAIT for them all...Having this little person who loves you and depends on you for everything outweighs all the dirty nappies and hours in the night trying to get them to sleep..

Sod the lot of 'em thats what I say!!! They don't know the bandb forum anyway...so we got the last laugh!!

 

[beancounter]

I was having such a bad time with people making dumb comments at swimmnig I was thinking of quitting because it upset me so but then today a woman stopped me to tell me how well shethought I was swimming and I looked good in the water and I could have hugged her! She was a super good swimmer too!

Edit- the stupidest thing I heard was when I was about 27 weeks pregnant and measuring very small for my gestation, and this old bag of a woman who often came into my work place shouted through the door '' YOU GOT TWINS IN THERE'' while laughing. I was so upset at the comment I actually walked out back and cried, I felt embarassed as everyone looked at me, I felt like shit because my baby was potentially too small if anything and this stupid woman just didnt think, she knew how far gone I was due to being a customer and as I said earlier she was always popping by. Then it went to the other extreme from other people- Wow you are so small... which upset me too. What ever happened to saying '' aww your bump is lovely, and you are glowing'' I never got that at all, I just got how small I was or how huge I was. Either way it upset me lol.
xxxx Now I have left work, little one has caught up size wise, I dont give a crap what people say.

Your bump IS lovely and just perfect. I get this too. I get called small and how small that baby is, and after my scan I said the baby is 4lb9 people start going on about how big the baby is and I just cant do anything right but I think my baby is just perfect.

 

[tasha41]

I think they're usually just happy to be done & over with the first few weeks of parenthood & that it's hard for everyone.. so they feel it's their right or something to go off and say things like this to every heavily pregnant woman or something. I don't think they mean to be offensive all the time, usually I think they're joking, but obviously a pregnant lady will not take it that way, LOL.

I'm very, very lucky. No one has said ANYTHING like this to me, and I'm 30 weeks. Most of them reassure me that everything is going to be alright, etc. or just don't say anything at all

I guess the worst is my boyfriend's mom who keeps telling me not to be upset if I have to have a c-section with my build, etc.

 

[Dragonfly]

I find the worst when people say... Get as much sleep as you can before baby arrives... You wont get ANY then!! Errmmmm..... HEELLOOOOOO..... Do you know how hard it is to sleep with a giant football stuck on your belly?!!! And having to be pushed up by your OH just to get out of bed to go to the loo (10 times a night might I add).... I think I'd rather NOT sleep!! Its far easier being awake!!!! Grrrr!!!

Yes what is that all about! I have a massive bump on me and I cant turn in the bed without grabbing on to things or get up right. My hips hurt and I end up getting really annoyed as I cant sleep and I am up all night peeing and they tell me when baby gets here i wont get sleep! Least I will be a bit more confortable and not luggig around big baby on belly and baby does not stay awake forever! maybe theirs did as they where probably the ones that woke baby for food where as i am having baby wake me for food. Not the other way around.

Least when there is a baby there you will have someting to do minus the soreness of pregnancy.

I think to be honest they are thick for saying crap like this, they may not mean harm but they obviisuly are lacking the abillity to put themselves in your shoes to see how that would sound before opening their mouths. Unless they just let things ramble out because everyone says the same thing etc etc. No mind of their own sort of thing. Oh thats what you say to a pregnant women isnt it! there is like a script.

 

[mrscookie]

this girl I know asked if I was gonna breast feed and I said yeah. She said it made her feel sick the thought of it when she was pregnant she told me that I probably wouldnt succeed as she didnt as its not easy, and that If i do it they will keep me in hospital longer so she thinks I should bottlefeed. She said baby sleeps way longer and health wise its no different to breast feeding, if anything its better as baby puts on more weight.
I really was gobsmacked.

 

[Dragonfly]

I have a mate who is digusted by my belly. It does offend me as she on more than one occasion said if she was preg and her belly moved she would punch it! who the heck would do that to their own baby? I tried explaining if that where your baby yuo wouldnt punch it and she wasnt having none of it. she just looks at my belly in digust when I am having them special baby movement moments. Its the OH sister so not like I can fall out with her but I hope she never gets pregnant!

 

[Shifter]

I have a mate who is digusted by my belly. It does offend me as she on more than one occasion said if she was preg and her belly moved she would punch it! who the heck would do that to their own baby? I tried explaining if that where your baby yuo wouldnt punch it and she wasnt having none of it. she just looks at my belly in digust when I am having them special baby movement moments. Its the OH sister so not like I can fall out with her but I hope she never gets pregnant!

Crikey, yes, let's hope she is never, ever responsible for a child in any fashion! I have to say, early in pregnancy I found the idea of visible movements weird and didn't think I would like it (but would NEVER have thought I would be capable of violence against the bump!). But I love it, I am fascinated every time there is the slightest twitch visible outside!

 

[SwissMiss]

THIS is a fab rant thread!!! I CANT HANDLE ONE MORE PERSON telling me how awful and changed and, I dunno, the-worst-time-of-my-life its gonna be after Mini arrives!!!!!!! And most of them are PARENTS!?!?!? I SO don't get it?!?! AND I thought it was a Swiss thing: this country is more money and material obsessed than ANYWHERE in North America, I can promise you that! Dont' have kids, you won't have enough money to rent/buy a house/9-bedroom flat/ferrari/you-name-it or don't have kids you'll have to stay at home with them instead of drinking 'til you don't know your name/flirting with anything in a skirt/closing THE in spots on a fri/sat night!?!? aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!! Good God, WHAT is it w/ people?!?!
The worst is, it rubs off on my DH!!! he's now started to say that "Life B" will start soon... HELLO!?!? Does anyone else not find that "Life B" sounds like a demotion from the "Life A" we are supposedly living now?!?! I could smack 'em all!!!!!!!!!

 

[Shifter]

It's amazing how many parents want to ignore all the good stuff isn't it?! Luckily, I have had some wonderful friends tell me how much they love being parents and how precious their children are. And these comments have tended to come from the people who are most like me. So it isn't all gloom for everyone!