bd on demand frequency opinion and ?

[gonnagetabump]

Ok.....so I notice whenever ovulation is pos or close.....sex becomes so awkward ..... Usually the first day its great the second day eh not so much ..... Don't get me wrong we have a great sex life but most of that takes place when I'm NOT ovulating. On average sex maybe twice a week. My husband has a very physical job and works weekends only and so when ovulation falls on the weekend I get so discouraged. Because usually I don't wanna pressure him when his body is tired bc he won't ..... Finish. And I know he much prefers NTNP but I have always been tracking .... And NTNP for 6-7 cycles didn't work. So we had a talk about it and well he wants to know when I Ovulate. I just feel like it puts a damper on the mood totally not sexy. Idk what to do. We bd on Thursday ..... Pos opk Fri night and sat morning ..... Bd sat night.....attempted last night ... It didn't happen.

We are both sick to so if that doesn't make it weirder. I have been thinkin about telling him that we should just switch to every other night ..... Starting CD10-12 and let the rest be in Gods hands. Because as positive as ibtry to stay I start to feel discouraged and know.....that if we don't get pregnant naturally....we don't have money for expensive fertility treatments. I Ovulate regularly....cycles are 29days....so normal.

I mean how is it that so many other women fall pregnant.....like literally one time sex. I mean I miss the days when sex was spontaneous and fun ...I always wonder if that's the key....in feeling down n out for the month. Please help.

Do u think bd every other day is enough....

 

[Lirpa11]

I'm wondering too how many fall pregnant so easy.. I think some do actually try.

Bd wise if every other day makes it easier give it a go. Many people have success that way! I just try and keep it interesting, like sneaking kisses in the afternoon, and being playful so it leads to fun BD... Sometimes it does feel like a chore though.

DH was away for a day last week on a course so we had two days no bd as he was tired from driving so far. This week Is better but DH leaves for two weeks for work on Thursday so trying more bd than normal.

 

[Riley_Zoo]

I dont tell OH when I am ovulating but he can always guess. I don't tell him cz he then feels pressured to perform however he always knows because I jump him alot more, but him knowing but not being told means he doesn't feel the pressure and enjoys himself...If that even makes sense.
Anyway I always try to keep things fun, maybe cook his favorite dinner for him, put somthing nice or naughty on for him. his favorite is when I put sexy underwear on under my jeans and top, he has no idea till I take my top off! try and make it fun again and stop worring about it!
baby dust to you

 

[Curligurl]

When we were TTC#1 it took 9 months to get my first BFP! I knew exactly when I O'ed and we timed BD "right" every cycle. It was a very exhausting process...And after 3 miscariages in 2 years, BD became more of a project than an act of love. I literally had a calendar posted in the kitchen that had my fertile days marked. I even gave DH a "lesson" on cycles, BBT, ferning, and OPKs. Looking back he must have felt really used. He never complained and he tried his best to stay "ready".

I have had my share of "bump envy". It seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant on accident. And even though I knew I could get pregnant, I was upset at how "carefree" other pregnant women were. I could never enjoy my BFP because I was always waiting for something bad to happen....

This time around (TTC#2), I have vowed to do more lovemaking than babymaking. I try to show my husband affection all during the month, not just when I'm ovulating. Every chance I get, I find a way to connect with him (hugs, back rubs, neck kisses, etc). I also keep the TTC talk to a mininum, especially on the days I think me might BD. No man wants to think about babymaking right before sex...a definite mood killer!

I think that BD EOD is a good idea. I got one of my BFPs that way. Just try not to be so anxious and remember the reason why you are doing this in the first place....

 

[lala222]

I agree with Riley Zoo..just dont tell him when your ovulating haha then maybe it wont be so awkward. I feel during TTC I need to sexy it up a bit...make him more focused on something new were trying or some sexy lingerie so he isnt thinking so much about TTC..that seems to work for us so far anyway. good luck and baby dust!

 

[linz143]

We timed BD for months and it took 10 months to finally get pregnant with DD! Every other night, every day, sometimes multiple times a day, making sure to hit most of my fertile days. And 9 months later, still was not pregnant. Decided to give up and say forget timing. Noticed I had ewcm one day during that cycle, took an opk and it was positive, so I went home that night and hit up DH for BD. I ovulated the next day and two weeks later found out I was pregnant. One time during my whole fertile period after months of multiple times in my fertile period and nothing. Honestly, after going through ruining my sex life because of timing and then getting pregnant off one BD I'm never going back to the "every day" or "every other day" rule. Now that we are ttc #2 it will just be whenever I feel like it and I'll try to hit the day that the opk turns positive. Other than that, it's not worth the stress and awkwardness. It doesn't have to be every other day or every day in order for it to work. It just has to be one well timed session.

 

[kitty_el]

We were NTNP for about a year (having sex maybe twice per week) - when we actively started trying we BD every day/twice per day and it only took one cycle - I definitely think upping the frequency helped.

Good luck

 

[Curligurl]

We were NTNP for about a year (having sex maybe twice per week) - when we actively started trying we BD every day/twice per day and it only took one cycle - I definitely think upping the frequency helped.

Good luck

WHOA! I don't think I could do it that much! I have prolapsed uterus so I tend to get sore quickly....

 

[gonnagetabump]

Well I work 50hrs a week. Dh works full time too plus some....so we usually give it our all during fertile times. But its become so awkward when I'm not really into it and likewise........so......idk....ill try and sex it up a little bit. But man....this is hard work...10months. ... I am ready to not try anymore. And hope for the best.

 

[gonnagetabump]

Thanks to everyone for the advice. and pep talks much needed and appreciated

 

[slg76]

I think every other day is plenty. Sperm do live for several days so on the "off" days there are still live sperm in there. Have you considered trying soft cups? There are lots of threads about them if you aren't familiar. You insert one after BD and wear it for 12 hours. It keeps all the semen up near your cervix.

DH and I are great at sex together but don't really do it all that often. Every other day is just more than we want. I tend to go by OPKs and CM. When both of those line up I just make sure we do it that day. Has worked for me

TBH I'm not sure how DH always manages to finish. It must be so much pressure. I try to make the BD session about what he enjoys in bed to help him along :winkwink" . I know it's easy to forget but many couples take well over six months to conceive even when there is not a fertility problem.

Good luck to you