Birthday parties!!

[Willow82]

So my 4 year old really wants a birthday party this year. We've never held one before preferring to wait until he actually wanted one.

I'm stressing about it already. He wants it at a trampoline park where we had previously attended his friend's party. I enquired about it today and for 15 kids, it will be over £200!! I had no idea that it would be that expensive. I guess I could book somewhere different but I'm not sure where. I'm not the sort of parent who wants to put on party games so want somewhere where they can be self entertaining with some food at the end. I hate soft play so I don't really want to do that.

The timing is also really awkward. DS's birthday is the 6th September so he will have left nursery but not quite have started at school (his first session is on the 8th), so we won't know most of his class so can't invite them but I'm worried that parents who I don't know might not want to bring their kids who attend his nursery if they are going to a different school and in all likelihood will not see DS again anyway. Arrgghh...if it had been last year, I could have just invited the nursery kids, if it was next year, 15 kids from his class. This year is so awkward!

If we send the invitations out and we don't get a good response, then presumably we will lose money given that we have to book for a certain amount of kids. I can't get numbers before booking the venue as a lot of the nursery kids parents' I don't know. Do people just book and hope most turn up?!!!

And what about party bags? What on earth do you put in them?! As you can see I am hopelessly inexperienced as a party organiser!!

 

[pa2k84]

I have to admit with the dates I would be inclined to be a mean mum and say no. Maybe plan a special day out where he can bring along a friend or cinema trip with a couple of others and save big party till next year.

 

[MindUtopia]

This year, we did a bouncy castle and hired the village hall. We put some music on and just let them run around, with a break in the middle for lunch and cake. I hate organising things as well and I'm not someone who loves parties and party games and all of that stuff, so I completely understand how you feel. But this was super easy (and I didn't have to clean the house like I did previous years when we did it at our house). I would say it isn't significantly cheaper, hall was £25 and bouncy castle hire was £90, plus food and cake (which I made myself so nothing extravagant). But I would say I would aim for something lower key maybe than a trampoline park and cheaper as it's all very up in the air until the last minute. It's so variable who actually shows up and when they rsvp and can be stressful. This year everyone was a bit more on top of it and most rsvped by about a week before, but last year, we did a smaller party (only 5 kids, at our house, mostly adult family) and none of the parents responded until 24 hours before! So I was totally unprepared for numbers and it was stupidly stressful.

It's definitely way easier to do something with a dedicated activity and outside of the house (so no cleaning, no running around trying to come up with games and things to do), but I also think it can be stressful if it's something that depends on certain numbers. The bouncy castle hire worked great for us and my daughter was so excited that she wouldn't have cared who showed up. What about a picnic at a favourite playground? Or is there something else close to you? I've found people tend to show up more when it's convenient and not a massive drive or expensive (some parties, parents have to pay for admission even when children are free).

As for who to invite, I would invite nursery kids. If he's friends with them, he'll still be happy to see them even if they won't be at the same school. I wouldn't worry about kids from school yet. They'll be plenty of time for that later. For party bags, I just looked at the Party Pieces website (there's a whole section for party bags) and ordered a few things that looked good. I aim for useful things rather than complete junk and I don't do sweets as not everyone is happy for their little ones to have them. Light sticks were a big hit, as were silly straws, chalk, balloons, etc. It doesn't have to be anything too complicated.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

Does he know many kids from outside nursery? I've never invited nursery kids and we've always ended up with about 16 kids in our house. My son will be 5 on the 2nd September so this year I wont be inviting any nursery/school kids either, I'll start when he's 6.
If a home party isn't an option, you can hire halls for £25 like a pp suggested. For entertainment you could either fill it with toys (ride ons, little slides etc) or hire a bouncy castle. At this age organised entertainment is hot and miss anyway as most are just enjoying running around with friends.

 

[lau86]

My sons is the 12th September and we decided last yr just to leave it... it was too complicated! Could you have a few friends or family instead?

 

[.Mrs.B.]

I like to mix it up with party bags. This year I bought each child a £1 milkshake style drinking bottle and filled it with stickers, plant seeds, craft bits, bead bracelets (my kids made these with me) and some sweets.

 

[Willow82]

There's a lot to respond to here! Thanks for all of your replies.

To those who suggested skipping having a party this year, I would feel so bad! He is adamant that he wants a party and he has never had one before. He even role plays having a party!

I guess it makes sense doing something more low key like hiring a hall. I would be a bit worried that a bouncy castle wouldn't be enough to occupy him especially if we had to get a small one to fit in a hall and I'm not sure I trust the weather to try a picnic! I've been looking up the cost and if we got a company to do the catering, it would end up being around £200 anyway. I don't know. I know the parents of his two best friends at nursery and I'm pretty confident they would come and bring the younger siblings so that would total 6 kids including DD, we would also invite a boy that he made friends with at a playgroup whose mum I know quite well now, and there is his cousin who hopefully could come. We have a number of friends with children but their kids are mostly around 2-3 years of age and he says he doesn't want them there! Aside from those people who we think would come, we would be reliant on nursery kids whose parents we didn't know. He is good friends with a number of them so he really wants them to be there.

 

[pompeyvix]

We have the same issue as my Daughter is 5 on the 2nd September and doesn't even start school until the 7th! Even though she breaks up from preschool on the 21st July, we will be inviting some of her best friends from there along with friends of mine who have children (who she likes and wants to come), a friend from swimming and our neighbours daughter. I have already approached a couple of the mums from Anabella's preschool to put the feelers out about her birthday and have got some positive responses so far.

I would perhaps try and get talking to some of your son's friends parents where possible, swap numbers if you can and explain the situation. I would have thought they would be happy with that. Although he wont be seeing them going forward, they are his friends now and vice versa so that shouldn't make a difference. Last year when my Daughter turned 4 she had a gymnastics party for her then nursery friends. Even though most of them were leaving to go to school, they still turned up and had fun. We haven't seen or heard from any of them since but the main thing was that she had a party and enjoyed herself

 

[Willow82]

We have the same issue as my Daughter is 5 on the 2nd September and doesn't even start school until the 7th! Even though she breaks up from preschool on the 21st July, we will be inviting some of her best friends from there along with friends of mine who have children (who she likes and wants to come), a friend from swimming and our neighbours daughter. I have already approached a couple of the mums from Anabella's preschool to put the feelers out about her birthday and have got some positive responses so far.

I would perhaps try and get talking to some of your son's friends parents where possible, swap numbers if you can and explain the situation. I would have thought they would be happy with that. Although he wont be seeing them going forward, they are his friends now and vice versa so that shouldn't make a difference. Last year when my Daughter turned 4 she had a gymnastics party for her then nursery friends. Even though most of them were leaving to go to school, they still turned up and had fun. We haven't seen or heard from any of them since but the main thing was that she had a party and enjoyed herself

Ah, thanks for this. That's reassuring that they still came. I'll try and see if I can catch parents at the nursery gates. It's quite rare that I ever see his friend's parents over than his best friend though, not helped by the fact that my OH has to do a lot of the drop offs due to my work. I can but try though when I am there!

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd probably book for 15, and in the invite specify RSVP by x date as that's when you'll be booking. Give yourself enough time for responses that you can invite other kids to fill spaces of those who decline.
Or you could book it not as a birthday party, just book 15 spaces (or however many people you end up with) after inviting people, and then take them for pizza after, or a picnic in a park maybe?
Other party options:
Pool party (usually you book the pool and can have a set number of kids, so you could just keep inviting kids to fill spaces)
Party in a hall with a magician/bouncy castle/entertainer/animal handling experience
Movie afternoon at your house with a film and ice cream bar?

 

[Willow82]

Thanks for all your responses. I've suggested having a "birthday party picnic" with his 2 best friends and he is happy with that. This year will too stressful to host a big party with no guarantee that nursery kids will turn up.

 

[c1403]

Similar issue here. My DD turns 5 on the 16th Sept. Only one of her nursery friends is going to her school.
I've been super organised and booked a hall already and sent 'save the dates' to her current nursery friends before we lose touch over he summer. I hope they come. She has cousins and neighbours too so should have at least 8.