BnB Golden Oldies x

[Baby France]

Booo to back at work! Glad you enjoyed the concert - it sounds like lots of fun!

I bet you can't wait to see your friend amour!!

 

[AP]

Oh and AP - I'm not in work until the 7th Jan

But tbf I'll be a week fatter then

Soooo not fair

 

[Baby France]

What for being off another week or for getting fatter for another week

 

[Tasha]

Hahaha, both probably.

Sorry not been keeping up to date, will make more of an effort.

I am going to learn to knit and will be using yarn from this collection onnce I am good to make a blanket I can bring my rainbow home in https://shop.lusciouslittlesomethings.com/category/rainbow-daydreams-yarn

Sad but I am excited guess it is something positive to focus on.

 

[blueskai]

Hahaha, both probably.

Sorry not been keeping up to date, will make more of an effort.

I am going to learn to knit and will be using yarn from this collection onnce I am good to make a blanket I can bring my rainbow home in https://shop.lusciouslittlesomethings.com/category/rainbow-daydreams-yarn

Sad but I am excited guess it is something positive to focus on.

I LOVE this

xxx

 

[Tasha]

Thank you Kai. How is Paul's grandma doing this evening? How are you all?

BTW I totally didnt think of you having a full name it was always just Kai in my head

 

[FlowerFairy]

Hiya

 

[Tasha]

Hello Nicola x

 

[FlowerFairy]

Hello Natasha :wave:

 

[FlowerFairy]

Just got back from.the hospital, Paul's grandma is deteriorating quickly she wasnt responding to anything until Paul said "Kayleigh's here" then she said "oh is she?" and let me hold her hand. Shes on a mprphine drip tho. Just awful

Pauls mum and.dad got a phonecall this.morning saying it was iminent

xo

Oh Kai

I hope you are ok. Thinking of you and your family xxx

Well my dad brought New Year in in style, falling out with DH and IL's He's made up now, but not before saying some horrible things

On a positive note, I've decided to start a journal and we've just had a lovely lamd dinner

Hope you are all ok x

Oh Dear. Glad things are sorted xx

mf - my 11 year old needs his school routine back also!

he has a mild form of adhd - it makes a real difference to him with change of routine

James has been with his dad since Xmas day and not back till Sunday, then back to school on Monday so It's been fairly easy here!

Back on the 8th here too MF! I'm back to work thurs boooo!

Back to daily routine for me tomorrow

Eastenders, Miranda and Christmas chocolates all that is going on here.

Dislike Miranda, but the rest sounds good!!

So jealous. I'm back off to work tomorrow.
Then again my best friend arrives on Monday and I get the whole week off paid!

Yay for time off

 

[Tasha]

My name is Tasha.

And you quoted everyone but me...... rude.

 

[FlowerFairy]

My name is Tasha.

And you quoted everyone but me...... rude.

It was an accident and I did say hello seperately Tashaaaaaa

 

[blueskai]

Thank you Kai. How is Paul's grandma doing this evening? How are you all?

BTW I totally didnt think of you having a full name it was always just Kai in my head

Havent heard anything else so far, but from what we seen.today it literally is days. Paul's doing okay, as is his Dad, for some reason grief doesnt affect them the same way as ive seen.before..it's hard.to.explain. Ive been crying on and off remembering little things all afternoon but Paul and his Dad, and his Grandpa are very composed, which makes.me feel stupid for getting upset! How are u hun?

Hahah to be honest it's actually only Pauls Grandma & Granpa and my Nan.& Gdad that call me Kayleigh...everyone else, including Paul is either Kay, Kaylz, or Kai haha! It's mad. I dont even.think Paul has ever called me Kayleigh!

xxx

 

[Tasha]

You're forgiven then FF

Kai, the men in my family are a bit like that. I think its my dad's background, always told to have a stiff upper lip, men dont show emotions etc. My little brother (I say little he is nearly 26 and 6ft ) got very ill after both my girls died because he doesnt know how to out wardly grieve bless him. It sounds like Paul's family is the same? It is okay for you to show emotion, if anything it will teach them it is okay for them too

Hahaha, totally the same here. Matt has only called me Natasha once and that was our wedding vows but he said Tash..... errr Natasha

 

[Tasha]

Also (and I hope this doesnt offend you or any one else), two days before we found out I was 22 weeks pregnant with Honey, Matt's Nan died. It was from cancer and we only found out about it about ten days or so before. We were told she had around six weeks. Any way, Matt and I rushed to the hospital after her being resusicitated by the ambulance crew (she hadnt been give a DNR order yet) and we made it there before she died. So we were with her, and up until that point I was terrified of dying, but it was sooooo peaceful, she seemed to go (her sole I mean) before her heart stopped but it was such a gradual peaceful thing. That I was no longer scared.

I hope it reassures you a little Kai.

 

[blueskai]

Yeah i think Paul's Dad's side is like that, i find it hard to.understand but i guess it.only.proves that people really do deal with grief in different ways i would be in bits if.it was.my Nan or Grandad, but it doesnt seem to affect Paul in the same way. His Grandad died earlier this year, diagnosed with lung cancer in the May, and.passed away the end of July, it amazes me how he can keep it together but I imagine it.does.come out in different ways, like you said.

Im not offended at all hun, i really appreciate you sharing your experience i know exactlt what you mean about the 'soul' going before.the body does..with Pauls Grandad,it was obvious he was gone days before his body followed, I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't aware and suffering anymore, even.tho he appeared to be in pain. It's so hard.to comprehend, even if you do have a faith, belief, or religion. Death will never be a natural part of life to me, it's far too painful to be a natural occurence.

So Sorry if I've upset anybody by talking about all this, i really didnt mean to

Xxx

 

[Baby France]

Kai

Tasha, tasha, tasha who? As if we could ever forget

I think that men feel from the 'olden' days that they have to have some sort of 'manly' order and a figure of dependence to cling to. If only they knew the damage it did and just finally admitted - that's fecking stumped me and I'm gutted.



You know where we are lovely x

 

[Tasha]

Its not that he isnt gutted, he is, but he just cant show it. You know Matt tried to commit suicide right? The same reason, his pain for Honey had eaten him up but he hadnt allowed it out so now he makes an effort to let his pain for the girls out. Just because we cant see their pain doesnt mean it isnt there.

I have a thing that is really good for men, because well they can get it all out but no one ever knows. You write a letter to the person who has died and then put it in a bottle, no one else ever reads it but you take it to the sea and put it out to sea, and you imagine the person is just beyond the horizon. It helped Matt and it has helped all the men whos partners I suggested it to. Just an idea for you at some point.

 

[FlowerFairy]

Kai Never offended xx

 

[blueskai]

Thank you BF

Tasha thats such a good sugestion, something that i know would benefit.Paul. He even said the other day (when his Grandma was still compus mentus, if thats how u spell it??) that he wanted to write her a letter expressing how much she means to him, how much his childhood.memories mean to him, but that nobody else could read it, only him.and his.Grandma. I might still encourage him to do it, when he feels ready, i think.it's a fab idea, thank you so much.

Arghhh if i type another flippin full stop instead of a space im gonna lash me phone all over the bedroom apologies i bet you're all reading it in a stop start voice in uour head

xxx