Breastfeeding & pregnant Mammas

[Spiffynoodles]

Jess, how fun that you got an unexpected ultrasound! And I'm glad you know for sure that you're having a little girl, now. Not knowing at all is much easier than thinking you know but not being sure! In fact, a lady on second tri told me I should double check with my doctor that my baby really is a boy, since she's seen people with obvious "penis" shots find out it was just the umbilical cord. I seriously doubt it in my case, but I hate having any seed of uncertainty!

As for a middle name, we were going to use Robert, since it was my DH's grandfather's name, who passed away two years ago, but my SIL mentioned a few months ago that if there baby is a boy, they might use Robert, so now I think I'll wait (she finds out next Thursday!) and decide after I see what she does. I never told her we wanted to use Robert, though, so no hard feelings if that's what she picks.

 

[Jess19]

The being uncertian sucks Im a control freak so if if there's any chance for gender error it drives me nuts not being able to take care of it (so to speak) lol probably part of the reason for me wanting to know in the first place.

Robert was my grandfather name! and my borthers middle name. love it!
Yeah, I wou;d probably wait it out too. Esp if she has mentioned liking it and using it. Hate to "step on anyones toes" when it comes to names. Thats no fair play haha!
Have I told you girls about the incident with my brother in law over the girls name that we liked???

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Nope, you haven't told us. Please do!

 

[Jess19]

Oh well then, let me tell you!

It was a few months ago, we were at my bro and sis in laws for theirs twin boys birthday. We were talking about baby names. My BIL mentioned the name Frank to someone. I was like " Oh we kinda like that name, I like Frankie for a girls name, her full name Francis, its my pick for a girls name!" He then got all hot headed and proclaimed that "Thats HIS name, for a boy and he'll shun me from the family if I (we) use it! I argued with him that I thought he was done having kids?! They have 4 (A DD, DS and twin boys) the tiwns being the last. They made it clear that they were done having kids when they found out they were having twins. His reply was "He doesnt care and thats HIS name and that we cant use it!"
Im just like screw him! He had 3 chances to use it and he didnt, if that name ment SO much to him then he would have used it! \
But now that name causes drama and I want to stay away from it ugh but I like it SO much!! Francis is my dads middle name. My BIL wanted to use it because its his and DHs great grand father.
So now I must find a new favorite easier said than done

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Oh, that's so childish of him! I can't believe he'd rather no on use it, than let you use it. My favorite name for a girl used to be Lily, and my brother used it for his daughter, but in my case it was different, because my DH didn't like it that much, and so I'm just glad someone got to use it.

Well, I just got back from my appointment. I'm measuring 27 weeks right now! However, my OB said that baby is kind of up high right now, so that skews it a little. I went ahead and scheduled my 32 week growth scan as well, so it'll be September 17th.

 

[Jess19]

I know, I was over it until I wrote the post than I got upset again lol but that might be due to the horrible day that Im having I just broke down and cried in the grocery store because they were sold out of doughnuts! I REALLY wanted a doughnut!

Are they doing an ultrasound at your 32 week appointment Spiffy?

My next appointment is on Aug 19th. The dr I saw said that we might be scheduling the c section on that date. Its also my glucose testing appointment ugh I have to drink that yummy orange drink and wait an hour.....fun fun!

 

[Jess19]

Spiffy you hit your V Day mark tomorrow!!!!!

How have your contractions been?
I've been having some lately, BH I believe. Either way, it sucks lol

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Jess, I totally understand the doughnut thing. I cried once because we went out of our way to go to a restaurant that served fried zucchini, and when we got there, they said they no longer served it. The funny thing is, as soon as they said that, DH looked over at me with this terrified look on his face, because he knew what was coming.

Yeah, I'll be having an ultrasound at 32 weeks. It's kind of standard practice around here if you've had a previous baby with IUGR, since your odds go up of having it again. I'm pretty sure this boy is already a chunk, but I like having the ultrasound, so I don't fight it. Plus, since it's likely that this boy will come a little early, it's nice to have the reassurance that he's already a good size. My DS was 5lbs already at my 32 week scan with him, so I had no worries that he'd be okay if he came a little early.

The contractions still aren't very bad. I get somewhere between 4-8 a day, which is very light compared to what I know it'll be like later on. They don't hurt though, but they do make me feel really breathless, which is uncomfortable.

 

[ttc126]

I hope you ladies don't mind a hormonal vent...you all are who I'm closest to on here plus don't really have anyone to talk to irl right now....

I'm having a really hard time. First I'm having horrible nightmares about birth this time. I know I've mentioned the bad time i had with my son before but one thing that happened was I hemorrhaged 3 weeks postpartum due to placenta accreta. Ok so i have horrible dreams about hemorrhaging to death. I also have had full blown breakdowns about it in the daytime. I worry about leaving my ds and this new baby alone. I'm tearing up now even thinking of it. It's very stressful to me.

This next one is lame.... but second, I have my cosmetology licence. I don't do hair etc anymore really. Well a few weeks ago my sister said she wanted a hair cut soon. So i said "oh what do you want to do?" She said "i don't really know yet." That was the extent of our conversation, not to mention this was on 4th of July so not like I'd cut her hair on a holiday anyway. The next day, my good friend was over. My son was already in bed and my friend showed me her damaged hair (a stylist ruined about 8 inches of it). I offered to trim it for her. Took 10 minutes and she paid me and mopped my floor. Well i mentioned it to my mom and she got so mad at me because my sister decided to trim her own hair in the meantime because "i wouldn'tdo it." Umm, no i would have done it, she never actually asked, didn't say what she wanted, and didn't set up a time.
So my mom was horribly hateful to me for about 3 days and really hurt my feelings. We planned a small birthday celebration for my grandma for the next day (very small) and i said "I'll pick up the cupcakes like we planned." She was then very short with me on the phone and said don't bother she'll do it all. So ii was then totally excluded from all we had planned. I still showed up with ds but was totally ignored by my mom and my sister was extremely short with me. I told her "sorry i didn't cut your hair, i thought you were undecided." She assured me it was fine, she chose to cut her own etc. Then i asked "well why is mom so mad at me?" She said "oh well idk but she's never mad at you so i guess it's your turn." Then i find out from my youngest sister that they'd been going on and on about how i could cut my friend's hair but not hers etc. So frustrating.
You have to understand i do a lot for my family. I buy them lunch once or twice a week, go on errands with my mom so i can drive, bring my son over to them whenever they want, etc. They do a lot for me too. But I'm very hurt by this because first, i am more than happy to cut their hair, second i feel my mom has no right to treat me so poorly over something that doesn't involve her at all. I can honestly do what i want in my own home! And if my sister did want her haircut and asked i would have done it. This happened weeks ago but I'm upset again today because they were talking about it again and also about how little i do now I'm pregnant and how my mom still did everything when she was pregnant... ugh. So discouraging. I'm so sad and don't know how to get over it.

Third, my dh and i are fighting. I have just had it with feeling like he doesn't want to help at all..... ugh.

If you made it through that hormonal mess, thank you. Feels better to let it out.

 

[zephyr]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time ttc.
I have the same fear about dying in childbirth and leaving my children and husband ive even spent nights online trying to find stats to make myself feel better! Its not a nice feeling.
I felt the same last pregnancy and felt like my due date was this awful countdown.

 

[Cangaroo]

Sorry you're having a hard time, TTC. Sounds like they're being very unfair. It really hurts to be treated like that.

OH is away for 4 days. DD always really misses him when he's away, so I'm a little worried!

 

[Mummy2Corban]

Jess I'm so sorry to hear that. Think Frankie/Francis is lovely. People annoy me slightly over names when they claim them to be there names. That's another reason we don't share our names. Hope you still find a name you love. How lovely you got an extra scan and had that extra confirmation you have a lil pink one. When do you think they will set your section date? Is it strange knowing exactly when you'll be having bubs?

Spiffy happy v day my lovely. I measured 22cm!

Ttc sounds like your having a bad time. Wish I could ease your mind about the haemorrhaging. I'm sure it's very unlikely to happen again or happen to that extent. I must be a scary thought. Have you shared your worries with anyone close? Your dr maybe? As for your mum and sis sounds like it's all been blown out of proportion. I say let them get on with it. Being sick and having to look after a mini person is hard work. Hugs for you my lovely! All here for you xxx

Zephyr sorry you feel like that too. As if your nearly 30 weeks! How are you feeling?

Xxx

 

[zephyr]

Im feeling okay I guess. I'm getting more and more tired. Sleeping less, can't eat as much in one sitting, headaches and just feel generally yuck haha exactly what I remember third tri being like.

I'm on iron tabs now and they help a little with the tiredness. I just dont think I'm sleeping well at night. It takes me ages to get to sleep, then I wake at every single little sound during the night. That one night hubby made me go to bed early I felt brilliant the next day so I think I need to turn in earlier tbh but it's hard because I also like to unwind with no kids for an hour or two in the evening.

 

[Veronicaco]

Gosh I've missed a lot over the last few days!! My patents are back for a few weeks so we've been busy with them really.

Jess- Pink fantastic, I'm glad you know for sure now and how lovely to see bubba again how rubbish to get so mean about the name frankie!! I'd probably tell hi
I would use it just to piss him off lol then not!!

Spiffy - yay team blue there's a few of us now happy v-day.

M2c - your bump always looks amazing glad you've got through v-day as well

Ttc - I'm sorry things are hard, families can be rough. The fear about dying in childbirth or as a result of is quite a normal thing I think. I've always had concerns with both of my pregnancies as I would hate to leave all my loved ones behind. That's why I like to be at the hospital as I feel safer there lol! I try not to think about it too much or I will worry myself sick.

I'm also a bit fed up at the moment, I guess it's just that time. My parents are back and it's nice and dd loves them but I have really strong feelings about the way I like dd to be cared for. We are very gentle parents and try and handle things in kind ways and model behaviour. We dont like to shout, we are respectful of each other and we are polite. This is not my fathers way of parenting and frankly his way sucked, I was petrified of him as a kid with his shouting and threats and smacked legs. Don't get me wrong - he had his good points and wasn't abusive but I don't like hypocrisy, if you want your child to behave a certain way then you have to set an example IMO.
He shouts 'no' and points at her over the smallest infraction - such as touching the important papers which he's left by her toys instead of putting away. Now today she was sitting in her chair shouting 'no' and pointing mimicking what he does and it's really upset me. It just makes me realise how big an impact things like that have on her, he always says how lovely natured she is and sweet and kind. Well for us that's a product of our hard work not 'the luck of the draw' as he thinks it is. I almost feel like I don't want him around her because his behaviour, even now, is so terrible. He's rude, ignorant and disrespectful. I can't bear the thought of him treating my daughter like this...... I try to talk about parenting styles and why we've decided to do things in a certain way but he always loses the point and starts trying to explain child psychology to me which is ridiculous as I have a degree in it and he knows nothing about it. Argghh. Has anyone else had problems with their extended family over stuff like this? What did you do? Xx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

TTC, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I can't believe your family is treating you like that. I lost my own mom when I was 11 years old, and I don't have any sisters, so that kind of mean-spirited gossiping that only other women can pull off has never been a problem on my side of the family, but I've heard second hand that my MIL has talked about me like that, usually complaining about me being lazy. She also likes to say how she did everything all the time, regardless of pregnancy or young kids (she loves to talk about how she was laying tile the day she went into labor with my DH) and I just nod and think to myself, "Good for you. Do you want an award for that?"

As for the PPH, my SIL had that pretty bad with her first two births, and now she's pregnant with her third and worrying about the same thing. I think it's completely reasonable to have those fears. However, since your PPH was caused my left-over placenta, I would think that the odds of that happening again are low, as long as your doctor is thorough at making sure everything is out this time. I would also demand an ultrasound before you leave the hospital, just to be sure.

Cangaroo, I hope your DD does okay without DH. I know it would be hard for my DD, too.

Zephyr, I'm sorry you're having a hard time sleeping. If I don't get the sleep I need, I'm miserable, and cranky, and break down at the smallest things, so I know how horrible you can feel when you're not sleeping well.

Veronicaco, your father sounds a lot like mine. He used to scare me as a kid because of his yelling and his temper. Plus, he would say things that were downright mean when he was upset. One time I didn't feel like doing the dishes, and he said, "I feel bad for your future husband, because you're going to be a horrible wife." I don't want my kids to be talked to like that, so I understand how you feel. But it's hard, because you also want your kids to have a relationship with their grandpa, and they're not always bad, so it's a tough situation.

 

[VJean]

Jesse, I can't believe you are going to know your babies birthday soon! Crazy! And I love the name Frankie for a girl! I can't believe you aren't "allowed" to use it!

Zypher, sorry you aren't feeling great! I hope it passes quickly! I'm the same way in the evening and it just makes the mornings that much harder!

Veronicaco, that would be hard for me to deal with as well. Just keep loving on your DD and parent her the way you want her parented...eventually she wll be old enough to recognize that your father's method isn't the correct way. If it was my child, I'd teach her to say "We don't talk like that in our house" the next time he was visiting. But I am just mean like that.

Cangaroo, aww! poor DD! When my DH is away my DD cries for him! I breaks my heart!

TTC, ! I would be upset about your families behavior also! And you need to smack your DH upside the head. My DH is actually really good about helping now, once he understood how hard/exhausting it is to grow a human. Sometimes they just don't think!

 

[Cangaroo]

Sorry everyone's having a tough time. Families can be rubbish! We're very lucky to have family that are almost always very supportive.

DD had a really unsettled day with the childminder. She really misses her daddy! OH wasn't able to phone and talk to her before she went to sleep, either. It's so hard! Poor baby.

I'm definitely getting indigestion now. Not badly and not often, but much earlier than last time around!

 

[ttc126]

Thank you all for your sweet words of support I had a much better day until my grandpa gave ds a drink of his water. Sounds harmless, but he puts HONEY in his water. Ugh! So stressed and furious because i repeatedly tell them not to give him random drinks and bites of food. Literally as soon as was arms length away, he gives him a drink! I hope being almost 11 months he won't get infant botulism, but it only takes a tiny bit of honey. I called the dr and they told me what to watch for. So stressed!!!!!

 

[ttc126]

Jess, so happy to hear you got a freebie ultrasound How fun!!! Even better you confirmed your pink bump! I love Frankie for a name and its so cute with with family history. So dumb he's being so selfish and rude with it! Esp when they're done! Ugh!!!! I would use it anyway probably. So hard to find a new favorite name Hope you are able to find the perfect name!

Spiffy, congrats on vday!!!! Such a sigh of relief I'm sure!!!
M2c, what a sweet bump! Hadto look again! So jealous, you've got the perfect bump

Veronica, sorry about your dad It's so hard because I think sometimes our parents take it personally when we do things differently so I'm so unsure how to approach that sort of thing. I totally imagine how upsetting it must be to see your dd imitating that behavior...the exact OPPOSITE of what you work so hard to demonstrate to her. Just know it's temporary, you have far more influence than they do as she sees you and dh every day!

Canga, i hope the next few days pass quickly! Your poor dd I hope she has an easier day tomorrow you too!!!

Zephyr, can't believe you're so close!!!!!!! Hope you can get some rest soon!

VJean, happy double digits

 

[Spiffynoodles]

TTC, I had my dad and brothers watch my DD when she was about 6 months old, and when I got back home, I asked how she was, and laughing, my dad says, "Well, she likes Pop-tarts!" I was so mad! I had barely begun to give her real food, and wasn't planning on her having any sugar until her birthday cake. I hate how other people think it's so fun to be the sneaky one to give them treats.

Cangaroo, I hope your DD does okay today. It's so hard when they're too little to understand why they don't get to see their daddy.

Well, yesterday was a day off here in Utah because it was the celebration of the day the pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley and decided to settle, so DH had the day off which was great. We got to spend the first part of the day together, and then met up with his family in the afternoon at a little water park, and then went back to his parent's house for dinner afterwards. So we decided to tell them we're having a boy, and they were excited for us.

SIL will definitely be giving their son the middle name Robert though (if it is a boy). When I said that we had been planning on that also, but was fine doing something else, everyone said, "Well, what's wrong with them having the same middle name?" And really, there's nothing wrong with it, but part of me wants him to have his own middle name. So now I'm not sure what to do. At least I won't have to make any decisions until next Thursday, though, because that's when SIL finds out what gender she's having.