Canadian Moms & Moms to be!

[Tiff]

I grew up in North Bay, it was a far enough distance to school, just over 2km? I was allowed to walk when I was in grade 3, I think? But the first day I did it my Mom followed me in her car.

Seemed silly at the time but now that I'm a Mom it totally makes sense!

I was allowed to walk to friends houses, but I had to call my Mom at work at let her know I was leaving, and then call her when I got to my destination.

 

[BlackBerry25]

This is the thing I am now worried about: playdates with kids from school!

Before we always had playdates with people that I was friends with first. But now H is making her own friends and has had some invites to go over. Do I let her go to someones house when I don't really know much about the parents? I won't always have a connection with the parents to be friends with them, and I doubt a lot of them would invite me over for coffee or come in for coffee at my place.

Anyone else at this stage yet? I don't know what to do. I feel weird just having her playing in some strangers house.

 

[Melissa_M]

I'm not at that stage yet but I'm not sure I would allow it if I didn't know the parents AT ALL. I live in a small town so we know most people but if they were complete strangers it would be a no-go.
Maybe you could have her friend over to your place first and ask if the mom wants to come in for a cup of coffee before leaving?

 

[Vickie]

I don't let Hannah go into strangers houses either. I have to go in at least the first few times. In the warmer months I suggested meeting at playgrounds which was a little easier.

Oh man some kid off the bus told me not to send Hannah to school sick I *might* have told her it's not her decision to make (she has a runny nose and a bit of a cough)

 

[BlackBerry25]

I do not mean this to come across in any sort of racist way, just not sure how to word it. But basically in Helena's class of 28 kids, there are 3 white kids. The rest are brown, and Sikh and speak the parents speak mostly Punjabi so there is quite a culture difference. Especially with me, being tattooed and pierced, and younger than most of the other parents. Not really sure how I would go about it.

I feel the same way, like I would kind of want to go check the house and the people out first.

 

[Tiff]

Personally I think any reasonable parent would understand you wanting to be there first or have a coffee or something while H and her friend play. If all seems good you can leave, if not then either stay or bring her with you.

I'd be more leary of the people who don't want you to come over.

 

[Tiff]

Can you ladies help me? I know that I've harped about P's aunt and uncle before. She's always making snotty and mean comments on my FB so I decided to fight fire with fire today.

She posted a picture that says if "we" have to be drug tested before getting a paycheque then welfare recipients should be tested as well. So I replied that I've never been drug tested to get my money. She then replied that it "depends where you work". I said that I don't think P has ever been drug tested and that not many people I know of have been either.

Really just being a pain in the butt. I think that's more of an American thing? I don't know of anyone up here who has been drug tested. Anyone here?

 

[Melissa_M]

That doesn't sound racist don't worry. That would be hard to have such cultural differences and language barriers. I'm not sure what I'd do to be honest. But I don't think I'd be okay with one of the girls going somewhere where I didn't know the parents.
I had a bad experience when I was little where I went to a girl's birthday party that my parents didn't know her parents.... but a lot of my other friends from school were going so they thought nothing of it... then a few months later I had to get questioned by CAS because the girls father was arrested for child molestation Nothing happened to me or anyone else at the party thank god but it just makes me very cautious when it comes to those things. But I suppose I'm probably a little too cautious about most things.

 

[Melissa_M]

I've never been drug tested good thing

 

[BlackBerry25]

They drug test here at work places. Very common. BUT I am pretty sure it is illegal to do a random drug test without an incident. Or do you mean, for getting child tax benefit and stuff? ETA: Many places do the random drug test even though it is illegal. To get hired on you have to do drug tests as well.

PM me next time she says something on your FB, I will argue with her lol.

 

[Vickie]

I never had to have any drug testing in my jobs but some of my family has (I think? )

I tend to be very cautious as well. It's hard but I've had to tell Hannah no to going to people's houses and tried to explain to her that if I don't know the parents she doesn't go but she doesn't quite get it

 

[BlackBerry25]

Thanks for everyones input. I am glad everyone feels the same way as me. I guess I will just deal with it as it happens and keep putting it off haha.

 

[Tiff]

She's mad at me, lol. I just hate stuff like that. I don't even do drugs lol, but there's no place here that I know of that you need to pee weekly/biweekly to get your pay. Or even once a month. Stop spreading the bs!

Thanks Wendy, I'll sure to message when she starts her crap again. It normally doesn't take long lol.

 

[Vickie]

they definitely didn't have to do it weekly or bi-weekly that's for sure! What an odd thing to say

nope not alone Wendy. It's hard to just trust our kids with anyone! Hannah has one little girl that she plays with quite often (here and at their house). I've had to nix all others though as I simply don't know the parents

 

[BlackBerry25]

Yeah she's clearly full of crap haha. Maybe once a year or less and that is industrial jobs here that do it.

Exactly Vickie. I just would hate something to happen to my kids. I don't want to be overprotective either but.... better than something happening.

 

[Vickie]

it's a HARD line to walk between safe guarding and overprotecting *sigh*

 

[Vickie]

I remember that Wendy, and look at you now! You are amazing!

I'm glad he finally did! And the first year of a new baby is always hard on a relationship. I have a rock solid relationship with my husband and I always said it would never happen to me but we've never fought so much as that first year of Amira's life. At one point I was packing up mine and Amira's things.

I forgot to second this! With Hannah the first year was TOUGH! We walked out on each other a few times (the sleep deprivation is just killer plus the stress of becoming a new parent etc.) And talked about divorce a few times as well! Hard to believe it now but it was hard. We found it much easier with Rhys as we both had an idea of what to expect so there really wasn't that big initial shock/transition to deal with.

 

[Try Rocking]

I don't know if I would be ok with amira going to someone's house where I didn't know the parents before she was say..30 lol
I definitely wouldn't be ok with it for a good long time though.

Tiff you just get it from everywhere huh?

Working on less than 4 hours sleep. Still going strong without a nap. Not sure how.

Also, Remy has been wheezing off and on today with a cough that sounds like hes trying to hack something up. He's only had about 6-8 coughs like that since last night. Any ideas?

 

[BlackBerry25]

Poor baby boy No idea. Hope it stops though!
Coughing gives me anxiety.

I try to block out all relationship problems from that first year or so of being a parent. It is so stressful!

 

[Try Rocking]

Yah it's freaking me out because it sounds like he has something stick in his throat

This time is already much better. We arent repeating the same things we did last time.