Can't admit to anyone else...

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by MemmaJ, Oct 29, 2016.

  1. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    I'm no expert but I think the nubs in the last 2 pics look girly..?!

    I do know how you feel. I'm dreading my gender scan in one way because I worry how I'll come across if they say 'boy'...
    But I guess it's the lesser of the two evils, between that and the torture of not knowing..!
     
  2. Mrs.H2016

    Mrs.H2016 Well-Known Member

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    The skull looks girl to me. I'm no good at nubs.
    I cried a little with boy 3, I am sure they see it all the time. Scared what will happen when I get there with number 4.
     
  3. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Thanks ladies, I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this. I've been so anxious this past week and I think it's all due to my scan tomorrow, I never thought I would be like this, especially after having losses but as much as I try to pretend I can't help it. I am going to tell hubby tonight (just so he doesn't think I'm an absolute nutter tomorrow if nothing else) xx
     
  4. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    I think you definitely should tell him.
    I've told my OH now... he said he thinks it's a girl anyway and keeps referring to the baby as 'she' now, which really doesn't help... doesn't really understand the torment of having to wait!

    What time is your scan?
     
  5. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Half 10 in the morning so at least I don't have to wait until the afternoon! I will update you all tomorrow....
     
  6. Dannypop

    Dannypop Mom to Danny and Jack

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    Oh Lou we are here for you! Completely the most stressful and upsetting thing when you can't help but feel what you feel and then have to deal with the guilt of those honest feelings. If other people didn't have their stereotypical comments it would soften the torment of the situation.

    And then you go into the whole self-preservation mode and pretend that the thing you want most is something you don't want at all.

    Thinking of you tomorrow. I know how scary it is but once you know you can move forward either way, as cheesy as that sounds.

    Best of luck for staying calm and in the moment.
     
  7. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Feel so nervous this morning!! Will update you all later today. Thank you for all listening to my rants and letting me get it out here xxx
     
  8. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    OMG!!!! OMG!!!!! OMG!!!!! I'm in absolute shock!!!
     

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  9. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Sorry the picture is on its side xx
     
  10. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    I knew it! that Nub was soooo girly!
    Huge congratulations, so happy for you!
     
  11. Dannypop

    Dannypop Mom to Danny and Jack

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    Hooray!!!!!!!

    Looks exactly like my potty shot with this little one.

    So tell us how it all went?! What did you feel etc. details!
     
  12. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Honestly, I'm still in absolute and utter shock! When the sonographer told us I just started to cry and must have asked her if she was sure about 20 times. She said she was certain and that saw she was a little girl straight alway.

    I just can't believe it, I felt so happy and elated but then I felt guilty for feeling so happy - how bloody stupid! When I hubby turned to me and said 'I'll be able to give her away at her wedding one day' I just sobbed, I think he'd obviously thought of a daughter but like me never thought it would happen. We've told my mum and she just burst in to tears and flung her arms around me, her reaction was so lovely xxxx
     
  13. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    Oh wow that's amazing - my stupid hormonal self got a little bit choked up reading that! So pleased for you :)
    I hadn't even thought about the 'giving her away' thing, hopefully that's something I can tell my partner if we are as lucky as you :)

    I'm so jealous, feel like I'm the only one still not to know and I've still got so long to go until I can find out..!! :-(

    2 out of 3 of us have got their much wanted girl now - law of averages suggests the next person (ie: me) may not be so lucky :-(
     
  14. Jessicahide

    Jessicahide Well-Known Member

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    Thats what i thought too, i knew someone else in rl was having a girl so i said in my head she is having a girl i will definitely have a boy... But here i am, 3 men and a little lady xxxx chin up, i know its hard but you will know so soon xxxx
     
  15. Mrs.H2016

    Mrs.H2016 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sitting waiting for my bfp to find out I am even having the 4th ☹️️

    I am so happy she got her little girl and jealous too
     
  16. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Honestly lovely I was so convinced and so prepared for another little boy that no one was more shocked than me. I know it's easier said than done but hold on in there love, you will soon know for sure and until then you can come on here and express how you're feeling. I can't thank you ladies enough for letting me write it all out on here and not be judged for it xx
     
  17. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Everything crossed for your bfp lovely!! Xx
     
  18. Dannypop

    Dannypop Mom to Danny and Jack

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    We will never judge. So often those who judge are actually feeling exactly the same and trying their hardest to deny their true feelings or they have never been in the situation and can't possibly imagine how it really feels.

    IRL I have 3 friends having their 3rd boys and one of my closest with 2 boys is preg with her 3rd baby. I can barely believe my luck but I know that I would adore my child no matter what as would we all but it's not about the child you have, it's the one you never had. The not knowing what it would have been like is a "loss" you can rightly mourn.
     
  19. Boo44

    Boo44 Mummy of 2 boys

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    MemmaJ hope you don't mind me joining in! I'm not pregnant and not even trying but I read through your post and it took me straight back to this time last year and all the feelings I had! I thought it might help to have someone around who didn't get the girl!

    I have three boys and when we decided to have our third child I convinced my hubby to kind of try for a girl, he wasn't at all bothered but said ok just to pacify me haha. I read up on shettles but no way could do all the diet stuff so just tracked my cycles and DTD at least 3 days before ovulation. After 4 months of BFNs I was going crazy and just wanted my baby! The next month I ovulated earlier than I thought and think the DTD was the day before. But anyway I still held out hope when I got my BFP it could be a girl!

    I had a girl guess on ramzi although I think that's rubbish. I posted my 11+6 scan on here and I knew it was a bit early for nub guessed but got almost all girl guesses. I felt a lot sicker than with the others. I think I really got my hopes up. I had a 16 week scan and Lo and behold there he was my third boy!

    I find it hard to describe how I felt as I'd never known gender until birth with the others. I was actually madly in love with him from that very day and very attached to the fact he was a boy and I actually knew! I definitely had a few tears moments alone with OH about never getting a girl. But deep down it was actually ok. It really was.

    He is here now and an absolute angel I feel he was sent to me because he's just so gorgeous. He was born by normal delivery after having 2 sections with the others. It wasn't planned! I just feel like he's meant to be

    As for the comments we had a lot of the usual 'is this the girl then' even when it was too early to know! I felt like saying yes becaus it's that easy?! And a lot of 'you'll have your hands full' and 'maybe a girl next time'. It's easy to not let these bother you when your baby is in your arms as he's perfect. But in pregnancy it's harder. I just told everyone we were having a boy and they picked up on my excitement for him and nobody said anything bad at all! His brothers love him. It's all good

    I have an ache for a girl still but really don't want a 4th child! I'm not sure I could put myself through what you're going through again! Because I worked myself into a frenzy about it but then was ok in the end anyway. It was so pointless for me!! I do see others like the ladies on this thread and think man people have it so lucky why does it happen for them and not me! It's all normal. Thought it would help having someone around who heard the opposite to what they hoped for and were still happy!

    Good luck for 30th and can't wait to hear!
     
  20. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your post Boo - it has come just at the right time as I'm actually really struggling with the wait at the moment. It's going so incredibly slow, even the wait for my 12 week scan is dragging let alone the 15 week one!

    I was sent home from work sick on my last shift - I'm not due back in until Friday and Saturday (night shifts), but feel so down about everything that I think I'm just going to stay off sick this week.
    Every time I'm at work I end up telling people I'm pregnant (because I'm always ill at work!) - and then I always regret saying anything because I don't want people knowing my business and I'm opening myself up to 'the comments'. I just want to be away from there at the moment because I'm finding the whole thing quite hard. I'm impatient enough at the best of times...!

    It's so nice to read your positive post though and it has actually made me start doubting that this might be a girl, which is probably a good thing (less chance of disappointment).
    I've been thinking maybe it is a girl because of how poorly I am (whereas I was fine with my other pregnancies). Ramzi theory says girl. Literally everyone says they think it's a girl... I was starting to think it really might be. But now reading that was all the case for you too and it was still a boy, I think I need to reign it in..!

    Practically it will be so much easier and cheaper if it's a boy because I still have everything from my 1 year old son. Just got to keep thinking of positives like that.
     

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