Cautiously Pregnant After A Loss. PMA, But Not Taking It For Granted.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy After A Loss' started by Lozdi, Jan 12, 2012.

  1. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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    Ok so here goes....I have never started a thread before and I'm nervous lol

    I lost a baby in November 2011, a MMC. I spent weeks after searching the internet and ended up on a TTC after a loss thread on here, with an absolutely fabulous bunch of ladies who are soooooo loving and supportive. I got a BFP in the first proper cycle after my loss....and I'm ecstatic as well as terrified and very nervous, but now that I am no longer TTC, I don't quite fit in to my regular thread. I obviously don't want to saturate a TTC after a loss thread with BFP talk, its just not right. At the same time I am not ready yet (and probably never will be ready) to jump into a regular first tri thread. So, here I am! It may just be me here, and hopefully Ladies from my old haunt with BFP's and the rest of them WHEN they get their BFPs, and well anyone else who has found themselves with a BFP after a loss, and who can't let themselves fully believe that it will work out just yet.

    I am so cautiously pregnant I try not to think about it! And will certainly NOT be taking it for granted! I have had 2 healthy pregnancies and I did take those for granted, but never again! Scan is in 12 days....:argh: I am hoping so much that it all works out, but I can't let myself fully believe that it will just yet....maybe in 8 months or so when I meet Belly for real I MIGHT just allow myself to believe it. Trying to strike a balance between being cautious and maintaining a positive mental attitude is no easy task as I'm sure you know if you are reading this. :hugs:

    I feel a bit odd about starting this thread, almost as if I am tempting fate, but I can't stand the limbo any longer!

    :flower:
     
  2. sarah_anne

    sarah_anne Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for starting this Loz! I really appreciate it!

    I'm also cautiously pregnant immediately after a miscarriage. I am so worried about miscarrying again that I try not to do anything.

    I'm also really nervous about telling anyone. My boss just found out she's pregnant, so they decided to hire another manager so it's not such a huge shock to our organization when she goes on maternity leave. I found out today that I got my promotion, so now I'm a manager. My only problem is that my boss is 13 weeks and I'm 6 weeks. I'm so nervous about telling my boss. I don't know what to do!
     
  3. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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    I'm not working so I don't have that problem, luckily, but I was when I had my first two, and I told my boss very early on, as I was in retail and some things such as tackling shoplifters was not something I fancied doing while pregnant! I don't intend to tell anyone except immediate family and all the BnB ladies until I'm past 16 weeks this time, although thats probably not doable considering I tend to show fast and obvious!

    Try not to stress about it, because they can't fire you for being pregnant. If you are safe and your duties don't really need to be modified then I think its ok to wait a bit before you tell your boss. Be prepared to play it by ear, as you may decide to wait til 12 weeks but is ms gets really bad its bound to be noticed if you start to go green and run for the bathroom!
     
  4. BERDC99

    BERDC99 Well-Known Member

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    Girls I understand exactly what you are talking about. The end of August I got a BFP and was so excited cause it was our first month trying. A week later I started bleeding and went to the ER. MY hcg was 46 so I followed up with my obgyn two days later and my hcg was 108. The rollercoaster contuned all week long until I had a ultrasound and they said it was ectopic eeven though the never loacted the pregnancy. I was given methotrexate and told to wait three months to ttc again. In December I got my BFP again after the first cycle trying. I am almost 10 weeks now. I have had two u/s wit this pregnancy. one at 4 weeks to make sure it was in my uterus and one at 7 weeks for a viablity scan where we seen the hb at 164 bpm. I have my NT scan on Feb. 1 and I am scared to death to go to it. I have read so many scary stories in the first trimester. I am starting to feel my uterus getting hard, but I wish they was a more reassuring way of knowing everything is okay in the meantime while I wait for my next scan.

    Congrats to both of you on your BFP's.
     
  5. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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    Hi Berd :hugs: I'm sorry for your loss, and congratulations on this bean! Its good that they gave you 2 scans already! I know theres no amount of 'it probably won't go wrong this time' that can make you less nervous. The thing is, when we have a loss we need answers that the doctors just can't give, and many of us turn to Google, and because of our experiences, we are looking in places where the stories of what can go wrong are plentiful, and it does add to our worries but personally, I find I prefer knowing all possibilites, even if its scary.

    I'm in the UK and so I don't know how things work near you, but is it possible to visit a midwife or OB regularly just for a few minutes to have them feel your uterus and reassure you that its growing at the right pace? They say its palpable past 12 weeks. Its what I intend to do. Its not the same as a scan, but I think its better than just a long wait between regular appointments.
     
  6. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    Congrats to all you ladies!

    As you can see, I'm a bit further along than you (on the countdown to baby next month!) but I still take it one day at a time. We were able to get an early scan at 9wks and that reassured us a great deal (there was an actual baby in there!), so guys, you might consider a private scan at 8-9wks just to reassure you....

    (and yes, you will worry the entire nine months, but it does get easier (once you hit past 12wks, when you feel baby moving, etc.))

    best wishes
     
  7. BERDC99

    BERDC99 Well-Known Member

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    I asked my ob doctor if I could have my appt every two weeks instead of every four and he told me there is not reason for it. It said the chance of mc is only about 1-2% now that we have seen the hb and that I just need to relax. Easy for him to say cause it is not his body.
     
  8. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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    Its ridicluous how they think quoting percentages at us is in any way reassuring! I only got agreement for a quick check once a week after 12 weeks because my midwife visits the health center thats literally just up the road from me, and she will do it at the end of her appointments.
     
  9. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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    Hi Sabrina! :flower: Congratulations! I have an early scan booked already, my epau took pity on me and let me have it with no referral, (I have no gp in particular so no trust relationship with one) its in 12 days. But I will be going for a private scan too, inbetween the early one and the 12 week one. They aren't particularly cheap, but worth the peace of mind. :hugs:
     
  10. Clobo

    Clobo Proud Mama!!

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    Hi everyone :wave:

    I'm Cloey and we have been trying for two years, I have PCOS so don't ovulate regularly which doesn't help!! Last February I had a mc at 11 weeks although I'd had early scans so knew earlier that things weren't progressing. It was so sad and scary although I had lots of supportive friends and family!

    After my last clomid round I was told to have a natural cycle to see what my body would do and look what it did!!!! :wohoo: I figure that's challenge one out of the way and now challenge two is to get a healthy scan which I'm having on the 25th jan at the fertility centre I've been going to, they are so lovely there!

    Loz you took all the words out of my mouth chick, trying to br cautious but at the same time stay positive! We are moving house right now and ivd felt so bad all I've done us dust and unpack light stuff!!!

    Sarah, nice to see you my dear :hugs:

    Sabrina and Berd, nice to meet you and congratulations on your pregnancies!! Thanks for letting us know that it does get easier!!

    So what are all your symptoms? As you can see mine is waking up too early!!!

    Xxx
     
  11. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Good Morning Ladies :wave:

    Some of you lovely ladies already know my story from the ttc thread Loz spoke of in the first post. For those of you who don't I am very sorry to hear of your losses....I hope we can help each other now through our very special pregnancies :)

    I'm Louby, I'm 24 and I am already blessed with an extremely handsome 3 year old son (biased I know :haha: )
    And I am now very cautiously pregnant.

    I got my first BFP in September the day I got back from my honeymoon...it felt like everything had totally fallen in to place for us and at this point 2011 was our best year to date. Sadly it ended as the worst as we lost our twins a few weeks after finding out we had them. It was truly heartbreaking and all I wanted to to be pregnant. I found it extremely difficult to accept what had happened, but with the help and support of the fantastic ladies on the ttc thread I found the strength to stay strong and carry on.

    I got my BFP 6days ago and still cant quite believe it! We caught the egg straight after my first cycle following MC and like you ladies feel very nervous. Luckily I have an amazing midwife who is arranging me an early scan in the epau. As yet I don't have my appointment date but I am only 4 weeks so it will be at least 3 weeks off yet. I think for me once I have that scan I will start to relax a little bit and try to enjoy my pregnancy.

    Love this thread already Loz........cracking work :thumbup:

    xxxx
     
  12. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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    Good morning Cautious Ladies! :flower:

    I had a lovely surprise this morning......a 3+ on the digi!!! I am 21 dpo, so seeing that has made me very happy. I know its not saying it will definately be ok (got to 3+ last time too) but at least I know I'm 'doubling' ok, as I had the 2-3 at 15 dpo, just 6 days ago! :happydance:

    Not many symptoms yet apart from extreme hunger (to be honest pregnant or not I have always enjoyed a big appetite lol)

    And one sore boob! I swear my right boob is broken, but the left one is on track! No nausea yet but I'm hoping to be sick as can be as soon as possible!

    And vivid dreams of course. More weird than scary now, thank goodness!

    11 days til scan...:headspin::argh:
     
  13. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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  14. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Yey Loz that's great news :happydance:

    Cant believe your scan is in 11days I cant wait to hear the good news lovely.
    I have just spoken to my midwife and have my booking in appointment on Thursday at 9am. She is going to arrange an early scan for me between 6 and 7weeks so I shouldn't have too long to wait :)

    Oh Loz talk about vivid dreams.....mine have been bizarre! The sickness has kicked in for me before anything. I was sick both Monday and Tuesday and been nauseas for the rest of the week eurgh! But I am happy to be sick all the way through if it means I get my baby :)
    I have never had ms though. My first pg was a breeze with no symptoms at all and last time I just had the most tender boobies EVER :holly:
     
  15. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    OMG Loz that thing just predicted that I will have a 14lb 10oz baby
    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  16. Lozdi

    Lozdi Imp Of Mischief On Boob!

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: I got that one too lol! Then with the same answers it predicted me a 4 lb baby....soooo which will it be? hahahaha!

    I never get ms til week 6 but last time only had mild nausea. I want strong unrelenting nausea and as much vomit as possible this time!

    My midwife literally isn't allowed to book me til 8 weeks lol after seeing just how little she can actually do, I have no faith in her at all. I'm sure she knows what she is doing, but if she has no flexibility at all, then what use is she? Midwifes should have alot of say in when ladies get scans and extra checkups. I'll be relying more on my own knowledge, and my own doppler (when bellybean is big enough to be heard) than I'll be relying on her!
     
  17. jd26

    jd26 Active Member

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    i have a feeling ive just found new buddies!!! can i b here too- im still convinced im having a chemical as im not even due my af until sunday but my tests r getting stronger and i got a 2-3 weeks on cb digi yesterday!! im just hoping i have an extra sticky bean in there fx!! or twins... lol! gettin a bit ahead of myself there... :)
     
  18. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Hi jd :wave:
    Come and join our merry throng - welcome :)
    How many dpo are you? I got my bfp at 9dpo and 1-2weeks on the digi at 10dpo. I have NO more hpt to pee on so I peed on an opk last night as I just had an urge to poas :haha: It was the strongest + I have ever seen one so I'm taking that as a good sign :thumbup:
    I'm sure you will be fine hun :hugs: Your bean will be a sticky one for sure! We will all be here to get each other through.
    If you don't mind me asking have you suffered a loss before? xxxx
     
  19. loubyloumum

    loubyloumum 2boys & cooking #3 :)

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    Loz, I'm sorry your midwife is such a pain in the ass! I totally agree that midwifes should be the ones with the control to say when their mums needs extra scans etc... I feel very lucky to have the midwife I've got. It's a good job that you are an on the ball kind of woman and totally don't allow people to fob you off :thumbup:
    At least the epau booked you in regardless of what your mw told you. Have you purchased your own doppler?? xx
     
  20. Pretty Please

    Pretty Please DS and PAL

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    Congratulations to everyone !!!

    I am in the same situation don't feel like 1st tri suits me, nor pal as had too many mc. So prob pal recurrent but after 5mc I had my baby and then in oct mmc. Now prego again but I don't feel sick at all which is very odd so not really confident with this one. Got early private scan on 25 Jan so time will tell!!!!

    Wish everyone lots of luck and hopefully all make it to 3rd tri - fingers crossed xxxxx
     

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