[CLOSED] ex-SMEP ladies waiting for lightening to strike.

[LillyTame]

That's very true, Profwife. I think I would want the blood test to be 100% sure.

 

[ProfWife]

Tried to get it...dumb main line lady gave me the IN patient fax rather than OUT patient fax for the lab services.

I won't be able to go in until tomorrow afternoon now.


Made the mistake of telling my mother I was getting a blood test done. She just asked why and gave me a hard time. She doesn't understand. She also can't have a serious conversation about it without being judgmental about those with infertility ("It's just not God's timing. Don't try to play God."). Feeling pretty alone right now.

 

[LillyTame]

Awww, I'm sorry to hear that. On both the mom front and not being able to get the lab done today.

I can't say I've heard you say much about your hubby...how is he? Could you go to him for a hug and cuddle....maybe a tiny cry of frustration, if you need to? I tend to bottle things up till I need a BIG cry lol

 

[ProfWife]

He's great. I try not to abuse him too much. I'm trying to be strong this week for him, though. He's leaving for the weekend to go on a camping trip with some friends for some "men time." If we aren't pregnant, I'll start my period this weekend. I don't want him to feel badly about leaving me to go do this. He REALLY needs this time to build some male friendships. He was pretty isolated since our move a few years ago. Our church groups weren't overly active, he was in grad school, leadership programs, and working 50+ hours a week.

I really want to make sure he feels comfortable leaving me at home...that I'm not going to shut down or break down.

 

[LillyTame]

Gotcha! Sounds good for him. Wish you had someone there to give you a IRL hug

 

[Tella]

ah Prof, so sorry you not getting the support from your mother that you deserve. ppl just don't know when to say good luck and leave the rest.

hope dh enjoys his weekend and comes back to a wonderful bfp surprise!

Have you had am squinter that you say you don't want the guessing?

keeping everything crossed for you! !!!

 

[ProfWife]

I picked up a bad batch of tests (evaps) or weird control lines.

AF started today before I went to get bloodwork. So far, just some brown spotting, but should be full flow by the end of the day. :-/

Looks like on to another month.

 

[LillyTame]

I picked up a bad batch of tests (evaps) or weird control lines.

AF started today before I went to get bloodwork. So far, just some brown spotting, but should be full flow by the end of the day. :-/

Looks like on to another month.

 

[ProfWife]

Stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill waiting...absolutely nothing since I saw that little bit during the school day. Belly is just feeling heavy/congested.

Going to continue the progesterone until AF shows.

 

[Tella]

I'm hoping it's just break through bleeding. Are you still gonna do the blood tests?

 

[Akayj]

Prowife hope that was a good sign!!

 

[ProfWife]

I'm going to skip my progesterone tonight. If it doesn't look like period is gearing up (based on temp in the morning), I'll do the blood test on my way home from work Friday.

This afternoon's test was a BFN - 16 dpo. I would think that there would be at least a SLIGHT hint of a line by now if I was pregnant.

Just pray that if we are, I won't miscarry by stopping the progesterone.

 

[Akayj]

Prayers coming from here!!

 

[Tella]

good luck prof. I know it's hard to decide what to do and the what ifs.

if you are pregnant? skipping progesterone for one night wont make you miscarry.

 

[ProfWife]

Within 6 hours brown spotting started again. Hasn't quite gone into full AF yet, but I'm fairly certain it will now.

On to next cycle looks like.

 

[Lionchild]

Sorry, Prof.

 

[Akayj]

Hey ladies how is everyone? Just wanted an update on everyone!hehe

 

[ProfWife]

I wasn't pregnant last cycle, but my friend was...FIRST MONTH trying. I'm still trying to get past it. I feel like I'm taking care of her (morning sickness has been all day sickness for her) but secretly I want to strangle her as her life is taking the path I wanted mine to take. First month trying - getting pregnant - staying home to nest and have a baby...Yet, I'm facing likely cycle #20, a 32nd birthday, and another year of stress at school.

I'm in the ending of the TWW (11 dpo). Not feeling it this cycle. I just feel really depressed. Why even bother? It's not like I can reasonably expect that this cycle would be different from the other 18...my chances dwindle each month.

We can't begin trying IUI until I'm not working, but we aren't expecting for me to stop working until the semester break next year. So, we'd be looking at cycle #27 at that point.

I'm just losing faith that we'll ever get pregnant. Maybe it just was never meant to be.

 

[LillyTame]

I hear you, Profwife. Today I was thinking....remember when we were all fresh and hopeful for that 1st, 2nd, 3rd month? Now it's like...meh....of course I have a chance but what would make this month any different than the last 15, 18, 20! Jaded? Ooooh just a tiny bit

 

[Tella]

Hi Ladies, I know it's hard to stay positive believe me I've been there a million times but somehow the thought of giving up always to scary and I find the will to continue. We are approaching 4 yrs in June and thats hard to swallow but I'm hopeful that we will find the strength from above to continue and that we will be rewarded and become a mommy.

I had a dream last night that I had a beautiful little baby girl and I was breastfeeding, it was so real that I can actually remember the warm feeling of having that little one depending on me for food. given me new strength and will to continue to I get to feel that feeling for sure day after day! !!