conflicted

[CKJ]

why do we do this to ourselves??

I have a beautiful little girl and we have JUST (like CD7) started trying for no.2. It's been a major decision for us, since we were genuinely unsure whether to stick at 1 or go for 2 bubbas. I know in my heart I want 2, my husband is happy to try but was also ok with just having the one lol. However I recognise there is no rush. yes the world n his wife seems to be preggers at mo BUT I know our time will happen when it is meant to. And yet here I am impatiently waiting for next week to arrive, whether O will occur this month and whether we will have enough time, energy and enthusiasm to act upon it haha

I just wish i could be relaxed about it! We got pg twice in four months first time round (had an early mc first time ) so fingers crossed it will happen relatively soon but even so I know what will be will be.

I guess I'm feeling conflicted about everything at the moment. for us at least, this second time round business is SO different from the first. The anticipation is different - I know the great bits to come but I also know the really hard bits, and the bits I personally struggled with. I know pregnancy will be different, particularly with a toddler in tow. and I know space and money ( or lack thereof) will be at a premium.

So on the one hand I am desperate to just 'be' pregnant and preparing for the new adventure, and on the other hand...I'm scared witless haha

I know the answer is to smile and go with the flow but I'm too much of a control freak to do that!

this is a daft post really, but there might be like minded mummies/mummies to be out there, and hey, least here I can get these thoughts off my chest!!

good luck to u all
xxx

 

[kalyrra]

I'm right there with you, girl! I just had my first in January, and hubby and I both want 2... Part of me is not ready, but the other part of me can't wait to be pregnant again! I'm a little anxious at the prospect of having 2 kids. I can't imagine it at the moment. I quit my job to stay home, so that cut our income by 50%. I'm nursing my son, so up until recently I hadn't had my cycles back.
But over the last week or so, I was spotting for about 7 days so I think my cycles are gearing up to start again, which means we can start to TTC again! I want to lose the weight I gained with LO before I get pregnant again but at the same time, I don't want to wait either!
So now it's just the stupid waiting game to see if I O next week or not. Then it'll be the 2ww again. *sigh*

You are totally right about the fact that it seems like everyone is pregnant. I personally know at least 5 pregnant friends, and 3 who just had babies.

Why am I so stressed about it though? LOL It's not like I didn't just have one myself. I know there's time, but I'm impatient! I like planning out schedules and I hate not being in control of them!

So hang in there... you're not alone on this boat!