coping on such little sleep. how do you do it?

[sequeena]

I know there are a lot of non sleeping toddlers so I thought I'd put this here rather than in special needs parenting.

Thomas has never slept well. He sleeps in our bed for a variety of reasons - he self harms when left alone and a few times a month he's sick in his sleep but he sleeps on his back and doesn't move so I have to move him so he doesn't choke.

We have done every sleep method you can think of we even did a sleep clinic which didn't help. We're now waiting for melatonin but things take a while.

Last night Thomas slept for 6 hours, most of which he tossed and turned. I got about 3 hours. This happens every night. I am exhausted. My OH works nights 5 nights a week so is mostly not here.

I am moody and have very little patience. I just can't seem to function on such little sleep. Anyone have any coping strategies? Thomas doesn't nap anymore unless we have done a vigorous therapy or tried to make him walk further than he usually does.

Yawn!!

 

[felix555]

I actually some days don't know how I do it.

The night before last I went to bed at 1, we are moving soon and we have a lot to sort out so my nights are spent sorting stuff ... no chance of an early night. My LO was up at 3:30 and fell asleep again at 6:30, slept until 8. This seems the norm at the moment.

I have no advice, just lots of sympathy. Sttn seems like an impossible goal, I just wish for nights where there are less than three wake ups and no MOTN parties.

Funny enough though, I don't think I'd want my LO any other way so I remind myself I have to accept the whole package ... the good and the bad. I don't always have this acceptance at 3 in the morning though

I also decided a while ago that literally the only not so good thing in my life is sleep. I have a very good husband who's very hands on, a healthy toddler, no money troubles and a life that's always changing and exciting. It felt ungrateful to complain about this one issue in my life given all the good. This helped.

 

[Jchihuahua]

It is so hard isn't it. Daisy is 5 and still sleeps badly (always has). I am up with her at least once a night. Tommy is 3 and has always slept well so no issues with him on that front but Eddie is 15 months now and still wakes up up to 5 times a night still and I usually end up breastfeeding him to get him back to sleep. Daisy is such a light sleeper that Eddie wakes her up then I have to get her settled again too. Then I work full time teaching 4 and 5 year olds. I am just coping best I can on not much sleep but I am definitely more forgetful and have less patience with my own three kids than I would like to have. I have had over 5 years of this now and still havent found a stretgy that works.

 

[Amy2701]

I have no advice, but I totally sympathise! My two used to be amazing sleepers.. Up until about 8 months ago. My daughter was the first one to start getting up a lot through the night, and in the last couple of months my son has started too. Most nights I feel like I go through to their room (probably doesn't help that they have to share), deal with whoever is up, get back to my bed for 10 minutes then have to do it all over again.

DH works long hours too, and is out of the house at 6am most mornings, so I try to deal with them on my own. I'm currently 5 months pregnant though, and I feel like I'm surviving on no sleep at all.

I'll join you in that YAWN!

 

[Eleanor ace]

. DD isn't a great sleeper but until recently her sleep was terrible. We got referred to a clinic for a sleep study and when I was doing the initial questionnaires the doctor said that some children are insomniacs, some need help falling or staying asleep for medical reasons and some just don't seem to want or need much sleep, just like some adults. He said that in that case the main thing we can really do to help make it easier is accept that we won't be getting much sleep for a few years. At the time I was like "well thanks " but actually once I accepted that it made it a lot easier. Knowing I'll only get a couple of hours and accepting that is the norm would stop me from getting angry and grumpy and actually made me feel less tired.
We tried things to tire Violet out but that didn't work, she'd just be more tired and go into meltdown so her behaviour would be worse that day and the next. We were advised to try massage for relaxation, it didn't help Violet but other people at the class said it helped them.

 

[sheebee]

No advice just another person saying "I'm there too!". These sorts of the threads are great, even for nothing other than making us feel less alone in the middle of the night!! X

 

[AP]

We share the kids and thei sleeping patterns but Alex is still a nightmare (and melatonin did not do a thing!)
Someone suggested a lavender ambipure thing to my friend and coincidence or not she had success. I haven't had the same success after running to Tesco for it in sheer desperation

 

[felix555]

... I'm just running to Tesco quick

 

[AP]

I know, at this rate you give anything a try
Another thing we used to do was , right from birth we gave her a ticking clock near her bed. We kept that clock forever next to her to associate that sound with sleeping. Didn't work but again , other friends gave it a go and loved the idea. The clock has since been taken over by a sound ball for her hyperacusis :/

 

[alibaba24]

I was just thinking about my youngests poor sleep pattern. i worked out by the time i go to bed after the girls and she wakes 3-4 times per night i get about 4 hours sleep by the time it takes me to nod back off . my oldest is a brilliant sleeper but im always stressing the baby will wake her too. stressing about things that will wake them before they even happen. i have lost so much sleep stressing over not sleeping lol! its no fun at all and can totally sympathise even though we arent awake for the same reasons it still sucks x

 

[sequeena]

Thanks everyone. It's comforting knowing I'm not alone.

I've dragged myself through the day so far and will wake my OH at 5pm. At least one of us sleeps!!

I tried to take Thomas to the park to get some fresh air and wake me up. I put his shoes on and he screamed unil I took them off then spent over half an hour running in a circle spd man.

 

[sequeena]

I hope the lavender works for you Felix I can't use essential oil with thomas it over stimulates him. Same with massage. We do some massage during the day as part of his OT exercises but I make sure to do it early on.

 

[sequeena]

I tried the speaking function on the video monitor the other night when Thomas woke. Yeah worst idea ever kid was up and grabbing the monitor before I could blink.

 

[felix555]

I didn't make it to Tesco but I'm going to try! I will try anything ... deep down I know nothing really works but I like to try things.

Actually once tried this lavender magnesium oil which is supposed to be brilliant but it didn't work. It's also supposed to help for restless legs so I passed it on to someone who was struggling with that, so it wasn't a total waste.

It's hard to get out when you feel knackered. We've just come back from the aquarium I'm knackered and my LO is running around like a headless chicken.

 

[JessyG]

There with you too hun. Have been for 17 months now. Up until recently we were having 2/3/4 hour parties in the middle of the night. Plus other times to be resettled. It is getting slightly better but we are also due another 4 teeth soon so it will go straight out the window.

My coping strategies (I get about 4/5 hours of broken sleep per night)

- Irn bru and f***king loads of it!
- go to bed early early (eg 8:30 some nights!)
- rest during nap time (I am bizarre and struggle to sleep during the day but a rest is pretty good too)
- look forward to the day she consistently sleeps through the night because It will happen. It has too!

I really hope it improves for you soon hun 3.5 years of it much be so tough.

 

[Mummy Bean]

Coffee, Caffine tablets, alcohol, Cake, Sugar and in this current weather brisk fresh air!

My only things that keeps me sane is when hubby is home going and taking an hour to have hot bath and just be by myself to 'recharge' (although this happens less in the new house as getting renovations) secondly is at the weekend we take it in turns to get a lie in - i have saturdays and he has sundays - so yesterday I got to stay in bed until 10am!!!

Also occasionally if we know one has a big thing happening next day one of us will sleep on the sofa whilst the other co sleeps with Doug. - but it ur hubby working nights clearly not gonna happen.

I am just living on hope one day soon my body will get used to this level of sleep.

 

[morri]

I am wishing you lots of strengths and count myself blessed .

 

[alibaba24]

does he stop at all when he runs in circles doesn't he make himself dizzy? I wonder if its that dizzy feeling he enjoys? I forgot to add as a previous poster mentioned going to sleep as soon as he does might help even if its just an hour. my mum used to say that to me when the baby was born "even if you just get an hour" but i found myself even more drained. at night when both mine are asleep I sit there and just enjoy the quiet for a bit. Its hard to go to bed as soon as they do but it might be worth trying if your body feels that little more rested for it x

 

[pandacub]

I sympathise my LO has always been an awful sleeper, at his worst he was up every hour (that was sheer hell!) Recently he has been getting a bit better, but its one step forward, two steps back; one week he'll only wake once a night, the next week he'll wake 3 times a night, and the week after he might sttn once or twice. So there Is some respite but I never know when it's coming!
I'm on my own with him too so have no support of anyone, which is the hardest bit.

The only things that helped were going to bed early, making sure I had some down time (reading a book or a bath) and going out when I could.

Hope the melatonin works for you (when you finally get it!)

 

[AngelofTroy]

Micah sleeps through most nights but my job means twice a week I have very little sleep. The last 2 weeks at work I've had absolutely 0 sleep on my shifts. I was barely functioning looking after Micah the following days so I have utmost respect for those of you who do that every night. My weird one is Marmite, if I have no sleep I always have Marmite on toast and coffee for breakfast, the salty strong flavour wakes me up a bit, then I cycle home at 8am which really helps as I'm blasted with cold air but that's hard to do with a toddler.

Sequeena, have you looked into Cerebra's sleep service? www.cerebra.org.uk/english/gethelp/sleepservice/Pages/default.aspx
I've heard good things.