Could use a buddy

[SleepyOwl]

Country - How fun!! Do you have any ideas where you and OH would want to go? I have no fun plans anymore - just working and waiting for Thanksgiving, lol! My fave holiday ever!! I'm definitely going to start temping as soon as AF arrives. It's frustrating not knowing exactly when she's going to show.

Lauren - Now that you're preggers, you have to load up on the snacks and feed that bean! How are you feeling? Still nauseous or managing it? Glad you were able to relax a bit with OH yesterday and get a nap in. Make sure you're taking good care of yourself girl!

Treasured - So sorry about AF. She is just the worst! Just my opinion, but I never count spotting as CD1. My first day where I have an actual flow is what I consider as CD1. It always confuses me too - like is this heavy enough spotting to be a flow or is it just spotting? So annoying!

Haribo - Ahh what a fun weekend trip. Sounds like you had an amazing time!! I wish I lived close enough to do a trip like that. The best I can do is sit on my couch, eat a bunch of brie and drink a bottle of wine by myself I hope AF stays far away girl!

Lxb - Yay for your body being back to it's normal self. Do you think you'll take the risk and jump OH?? I know it's hard to resist, but don't hurt yourself okay?? You know what's best, but I had to throw out my best doctorly advice Lol!!

How's everyone else doing? Pino, Sashimi? Anything new with you two?

I have a feeling I'm out this month. Still spotting - by that I mean when I wipe it's pink sometimes. Usually that happens before AF shows; it just happened a lot earlier this cycle (9DPO as opposed to 12/13DPO). I had the WORST cramps in the middle of the night last. Like serious first day of AF cramps. Luckily she didn't show, but I just know she is lurking - planning the most inopportune time to strike. Like when I choose to wear a khaki dress at work and have forgotten all panty liners and tampons in my other purse. She's vengeful like that. Still though, I am PRAYING like a mad woman that by some miracle this spotting is nothing and that I'm pregnant.

 

[lauren26]

Sleepy - Still holding out for you! Nausea seems to be at the beginning and end of the day, and I am managing it but also seem to throw up at least once a day. Not too bad, though!

 

[Pino6161]

Hey everyone... Just a quick update from me. We didn't get a car as the place was closed. I think they decided on an expedition or an explorer Probably this weekend. Nothing else really, I have been trying to stay busy to keep TTC off the mind!

Treasured--- I am sorry about AF. I am not using the monitor as it never seemed to pinpoint my O. I was wasting money for no reason.

All of my Dr's and researching says NOT to count spotting as CD1. Full flow should be CD1

Hopefully I will be on tomorrow, and I can finishing reading!!

 

[preg_pilot]

preg - The weird thing about endo is that the severity of cramps does not always correlate with the severity of the disease. My cramps were awful and I probably had mild endo for years and years. My endo got severe and the cramps just didn't let up. If you had it I bet it was very mild since you got pregnant so easily!

Yea. I probably didn´t have it, but I never had it checked. I´m just glad it all worked out so smoothly

treasured - just wanted to let you know that sometimes there is no 'normal' for cycle lengths lol From the time I went off the pill I had varying lengths from 22 to 48 days! Somehow I still got pregnant.

preg - cute bump! Are you going to start doing weekly pics?

lxb - No bump pics yet but I'll post them in my journal when there's something to show You totally got my mouth watering too!

Pino - I love car shopping! But I hate the haggling part lol

Sleepy - it's sounding good for you this cycle! Are you going to start temping again when you get the thermometer?

Summer is nearing an end! Does anyone have any fun plans coming up? I'm working on DH to plan a babymoon since we'll be done the house he's building at the end of this month and I'd love to go away in September.

Thanks and Yep, I'll be taking pics every saturday/sunday from now on

 

[lxb]

treasured - yep~ i'm always confused too. but I let ff does the work! And it shows cd1 for those non-spotting days~

sleepy - FX!!

pino - hv fun car shopping this weekend! at least the weather will be cooler? hehe...

Not sure if you gals remember about a friend of mine that I said isn't telling me that she's pregnant while her other friends know? But anyways... I have this friend of mine whom I suspected is pregnant (but i didn't want to ask her as I would hate to be asked if I wasn't ready to tell or wasn't pregnant). And that she has posted something like she was woken up by hunger, no longer like to eat shrimp, and her post yesterday was that she finds cutting her toenails harder and harder as days go by~ A friend of hers (guess she didn't know) said, "Ah? Are you?!".. then she just responded with a smiley face. So! I guess all are confirmed and I msg her with a "Congrats?" So ... as it turns out... we would've have the same due date! She is now ~16 weeks along. I then told her my story and she mentioned she suspected I was pregnant too. Anyways, I'm soooo happy and excited for her as I know she has been ttc for a pretty long time.

afm, dh & I BDed last night (wohoo! 3 wks after d&c)~~ surprised we still have energy after our jog! But we didn't finish the ttc-way though~ Even though I'm pretty sure that I'm Oing... I feel okay about it as I've previously said I wanted to wait for one more regular AF.

 

[lauren26]

lxb - Woohoo for safe BD! It's so great that you connected with your friend despite feeling hurt that she didn't tell you initially. You are a great lady!

 

[Pino6161]

OK so I finally got through it all

SleepyOwl--- I’m really hoping that AF stays away, and all the spotting and cramping is impantation!! After all the crap this month you surely deserve it!!

Lauren--- Sorry you were not feeling well, but atleast you have a bun in the oven It is so weird seeing the pregnancy journal in you siggy

Treasured--- Sorry AF showed But at least camping distracted you!!

Lxb--- I am jealous of you getting away labor day weekend. I am so jealous of your cooler weather!! Yaaayyy for the BD!!!

CountryGirl!! You have an avocado now!!!

Haribo--- My fingers are crossed for you!!


So I have a bad feeling. It’s good for everyone else but…. Anyways the feeling is that all you guys are going to get your BFP’s and I’m gonna be staring at a blank thread cause you all have moved on. I know it sounds stupid but I just have this bad feeling that I am not going to be able to have kids. IDK hopefully it is just a mood.

So up until now me and OH have just been putting off saving for the move. Yesterday it kinda hit us that it is in 6 months!! It is time to buckle down. We have been buying stuff for the move so we are starting fresh. I think we need it!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

*Stomps into crazy lady thread* *tosses purse across room* *slumps down onto couch in a huff with arms crossed* *total unimpressed expression on face* Ladies!! I've HAD it! I've ABSOLUTELY. HAD. IT.

I had quite possibly the most stressful week last week and it is continuing into this week and it's only TUESDAY!! I would say the honeymoon period of my new job is over. I've been making mistakes because I just can't focus with the looming IVF and with how lousy the injections make me feel. I also get nagged for being too slow with my work for trying to slow down and NOT make mistakes.

Today a male friend at work told me how he had dinner with his guy friend last night and that this said friend is starting to TTC. (Good f--king luck!) Then he told me his brother is expecting a baby and he is so excited to be an uncle, oh and they weren't even trying. I immediately burst into tears and stormed off (even though this interaction occurred at MY desk!) I later emailed the friend to say that I'm incredibly stressed at work and have a surgical procedure next week that I am quite stressed about. He told me that I didn't need to explain and proceeded to avoid me for the rest of the day.

I've felt quite a lot of discomfort with the injections. My left ovary until this point has been very sore and I've felt just overall uncomfortable. Today I feel everything is totally swollen and it actually hurts to get up and down from my chair. I'm convinced I can actually feel my ovaries through my skin.

I had to stay at work rather late, and when I tried to go home the subway shut down in every damn direction. I couldn't get on a streetcar either because they were all packed! So I finally managed to hail a cab, and of course the cab driver was nuts. Swerved all through traffic, he was practically driving on the sidewalks!! After nearly 2 hours, I made it one in one piece. Incredibly annoying after an incredibly trying day.

Pino, I wake up feeling like you every day. Hearing my friend's story about his brother expecting made me feel exactly like that. I actually contemplated standing on my desk at that moment and screaming "I'VE HAD IT!!! I. HAVE. HAD. IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The only person who would have understood would be my HR person, who had the 2 mcs, as she sits right outside my desk. But when you look at Lauren as an example, she had stage 5 endo, cycts, a polyp, all those things to an outsider would sound like game over. But with the miracle of medical technology, they removed it and a BFP came like that! You have got to trust that what ever is wrong with you CAN and WILL be fixed. My OH asked our doctor at what point will he fire us and tell us that he can't help. He said that rarely, if ever, happens.

Lxb I'm glad you smoothed things over with your friend. I find BFP announcements on FB so hard, especially now. They pop up every day and I think I've unsubscribed from 75% of my friends list.

I'll have to log on later and catch up on the rest of the board. I'm totally exhausted and am up at 5:45 again tomorrow to go back to the clinic.

Thank you ladies for letting me come on here and feel totally sorry for myself!! I am amazed at how over the past 6 months or so how different our TTC paths have gone. We have experienced so many different things as individuals, but our ultimate goal brings us together with this amazing bond.

 

[lxb]

sashimi - !!!!!!!!!!! Let it all....OUT! That's what this crazy lady thread is for!!

I've told DH that sometimes I feel like this crazy lady thread can be a movie itself~ Amazing women from different parts of the world... with their own stories .. own paths... and we are brought together in this very thread because of one common goal. Our sticky baby.

 

[lauren26]

Pino - You are right!! And it is weird to see the signature, though I'm getting used to it I will never understand the way this world works!! I, for one, will never leave you or any of these ladies. I love you all so much and COULDN'T leave you! You will get pregnant.

Sashimi - I wish I could jump through this computer and give you a huge hug and punch your FB right in the face!! It is so unfair and ridiculous how stressful work can be at the most critical times, and at the exact moments that it shouldn't be! I wrote you an email, but I just want to say again that I really know that all of this will pay off, and that I wish it could be way way way way easier for you and for everyone here! I wish we could all meet up and give each other huge hugs! Our bond on this thread IS incredible and we all have such different stories. You started one amazing thread and are chiefly responsible for this awesome bond between us all! I say come on here and vent every single day if you want , that's what we're here for! I can't wait for you to have those eggs out so your tender tummy can get some relief!...At least for a few weeks

 

[SashimiMimi]

Thanks Lauren and Lxb. Yes, this COULD be a movie!! There has been some mega drama in here between everything that has gone on for each and every one of us. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I actually went beszerk a couple weeks ago and asked my OH to move out. We were both TOTALLY stressed out and he just didn't have an outlet, so I felt he was lashing out at me. I called the doctor's office and the nurse told me to tell him to cut it out, because added stress at home was the last thing I needed. LOL! Well ever since I told him, he has been wonderful (for the most part). I know he finds this difficult and it's tough for our OHs to be on the sidelines, helpless.

So back to our movie, I have noticed there are a lot of TV shows and movies about pregnancy, giving birth and babies. Like those Teen Mom shows, and there is that documentary of babies in different parts of the world. The other day I caught some weird show called One Born Every Minute. I dont know what it was about, pregnancy I guess, because there was this teen couple in the hospital in labour. The thing is these teens seemed a little mentally challenged, but they might have just been hillbillies. I was like THEY are having a baby? And I haven't yet? They were telling a story to the camera about how they are now learning to look after themselves and wanted to make Hamburger Helper but couldn't figure out why the "hamburger" was not included in the box. So I switched the channel before I thought any more derogatory thoughts.

So why isn't there a reality show about infertility? Working as a journalist, I do have several connections in the media world. I wonder if I should consider pitching such a show! LOL! We have learned that there are so many different paths. I really thought when I started this thread it would be all of us temping and charting, then timing it right and getting a bfp. I had NO idea that I would be this heavily involved in assisted conception. It's nuts to me, it doesn't make any sense in my life, but I'm going along for the ride.

 

[Pino6161]

Sash--- I watch Teen Mom. IDK cause I bitch and yell at them through the tv I understand how hard it is Hopefully the discomfort is normal

 

[SleepyOwl]

Sashimi - let it all out girlfriend!! You have a lot on your plate!! I'm with Lauren - wish I could give you a hug and punch your Facebook at the same time. I always wonder why there's not an infertility/ttc show. Like something to show people the real deal!! Anyway girl, I hope you get some much needed rest tonight!!

I'm still spotting by the way. Either come already or dont show your face for 36 weeks!!

 

[haribo813]

*Disclaimer: this post doesn't fight the fact that this is, essentially a crazy lady post*

Oh girls, I feel the pain. Sashimi, I have days when I am teary, feel really vulnerable and SO ANGRY at everyone else who rocks up with a bean in their tum without even trying. I feel like saying you're being very rude, please stand in the line with the rest of us! You poor thing Sashimi, it is not on to have a tough time at work, at home (a while back), find energy to BD, have to make so much extra time for IVF and also get less sleep as a result. Try and take care of yourself and go to bed early, you really need it.

I got spotting yesterday (CD30 today) and my temp dropped from 36.8 to 36.4 and it's still 36.4 today (i.e from 98.24 to 97.52). Really hoping it's a low and will jump back up again tomorrow with no more spotting but I do this denial thing every month! Plus I had a couple of drinks last night as I felt like why the hell not so if anything this would have raised my temp today! Wished I hadn't though, not drunk for ages and feel seriously ropey today and have 3 morning meetings. Aaaah, come on lucky month 13, am not sure I can handle the dinner guests we have tomorrow night otherwise-a really sweet, good friend with a crazily long cycle who got pregnant 1st month and is now 7.5 months along while I am going into my 14th month. We've both been going out with OH for over 10 years and got married within 2 months of each other. Why isn't my life moving on to the next chapter like everyone else's is?! Lots of things about life aren't fair I know but my patience is thinning.

My interview's next Tue so need to get on with the prep. When AF properly shows I have to go in for my tests to the fertility specialist in next few days so will keep you updated-I just love being examined internally while having AF.

Lxb, glad you now know for sure about your friend. Hope it's not too sad about you both having same due dates. This happened to a friend of mine recently who lost her baby and the other friend has gone on to carry it to full term. Of course you're happy for them but am sure it's a little sad too and sounds like you are able to cope with this, well done you as suer it isn't easy.

Sleepy-totally with you, if you're coming, come, if not, take that world the round trip AF and back off!

Don't worry Pino, no one's leaving anyone. And I've had that nightmare too so think we all feel like it.

xxxxx

 

[countrygirl86]

This is one of the most complicated, frustrating and exciting times in our lives. It's amazing to think we all came on here in March (?) and grew these bonds and friendships. Now I can't imagine not having all of you to talk to and go through this journey with! I really do have faith everyone, EVERYONE will get their BFP. All of our stories will be different and unique, just like us. And someday we could try to meet up, with or without kids and husbands/partners! Hope I'm not getting ahead of myself!

lxb - atta girl gettin some lovin! You do whatever you think is best, it would be very hard to go that long without some BDing! You are so strong to deal with your friend that way. Your rainbow baby will come and it will be perfect timing for all of you. Let's do this movie!

Pino - you definitely won't be left on here, we'll just have to move the whole thread over to the pregnancy ones I hear ya on saving money, it's starting to hit me that we need to save money for when I'm off work. Do you have a place to move to already?

Sashimi - Does your work have any short-term leave or do you have any holidays you could use? I wish people could be more sensitive when talking about TTC. Some people think anyone who has difficulty TTC aren't trying hard enough or it's just not meant to be. OR they just have no clue what others might be going through and throw BFPs and babies in your face. I wish I could jump through your computer at work and punch that guy out! Jerk! I hope you know that this is exactly what we are all here for, to be your sounding boards and supporters. Your post made me picture us sitting in a circle like in an AA meeting lol Retrieval time is coming up next week? I know it's painful for you but I'm totally excited by it all, it's so amazing to think what's going to happen.

haribo - DH quit his job as an electrician 2 years ago to pursue housebuilding and loves it! It can be quite stressful but seeing him happy at the end of it is worth it. I'm glad you had a fantastic trip! I agree with the absense statement, it's just hard to leave but it's always nice to come home Good luck with this interview!

lauren - do you think you'll do a babymoon?

Sleepy - DH wants to go to Orlando again (we were there in February) but he's taking over planning this trip so I won't know many details! He's even going to talk to my boss about time off Your thanksgiving is way late, it's almost Christmastime then! Ours is in October when the weather is still nice I'm hoping you are pg too, nothing is impossible as we've all learned!

We find out boy or girl on September 12! Got to hear the heartbeat yesterday, sounded like a little boy toy gun noises "pew pew pew" lol Hard to believe summer is nearing an end but there's only exciting things coming up for all of us

 

[Pino6161]

Country--- The plan is I will go up in December and look at places. The scary part is neither of us has been to Oklahoma, and my OH won't go up until we actually move. When we do we will spend about a week living with my parents. We want to get a small apartment just to start out until we figure out the area. So No we have no idea just what we see and find online. We have found an apartment complex not to far from my parents.

So it looks like we all have been a bit of an emotional time lately all around

It is pouring here!! I love the rain, and hopefully it will bring on cooler weather!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Gang! I thought I would pop in and say hello as my day at work winds down. I had a ridiculously long wait at my clinic this morning, not sure what the hold up was but I didn't get to work until after 10 a.m. I go back tomorrow and my doctor is actually going to perform the ultrasound himself. This makes me feel really confident that I'm in good hands and they are paying extra careful attention.
I have 18 follicles now, but one is already mature. They will have to let that one go in order to let the rest catch up. They said everything else looks great, so fingers crossed that it all keeps going smoothly.
I feel a bit better today as I've actually had some time to catch my breath. I will be taking Monday and Tuesday off and then working from home Wednesday-Friday next week. My work has been very supportive about my "procedure" and only my HR person knows exactly what is going on. Some people have been inquisitive and asked if I am okay, I feel bad but this is a very delicate procedure and it IS technically surgery. I'm expected to lay low for a couple of days after the retrieval and then the transfer will be 3-5 days after. It seems like such a long road to get to the actual transfer, eggs have to fertilize and then become embryos... So I am taking it one day at a time.

Haribo good luck with the job interview!!! What is going on with the fertility clinic you were meant to see?

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi - I am getting so excited for you!! Do you have to take time off after the transfer, too? I really think it's great that work and the HR person have been so acommodating. People asked me like crazy what was going on after my lap and I just politely said I preferred not to talk about it. Hopefully you don't get pestered too much.

 

[haribo813]

Glad it's going so well Sashimi and you've got a bit of down time next week.

My period showed today so I'm throwing my hat into the ring and admitting defeat for this month. On to month 14... I rang the clinic today to tell them it had come and they want to re-do blood tests so am going in on Friday afternoon and they will also check my ovarian reserve (am scared about that). OH going in for another sperm test, (his 1st was fine but they want to do it again) then we will see a specialist and see what they say. The other iron in the fire we have is seeing this lady who specialises in not just western medicine but also acupuncture and herbs so have appt to see her later in Sept-I postponed it a bit so we should have all the feedback from our fertility specialist about what is/isn't wrong with us and hopefully she'll be able to use that to prescribe what we need. That's if she doesn't reject me for being too young and not trying for long enough-she deals with lots of women in their late 30s.

Am feeling a bit low but not too bad. Not sure how will cope this weekend with dinner tomorrow at ours with couple who are almost full term and got preggo so quickly and people we're spending most of weekend with who are also pregnant. I am encircled by pregnant people and some days it's fine and some days it isn't and I get teary and feel really sad.

xxxxx

 

[Pino6161]

Haribo--- I get the same feeling constantly. I feel like I am running out of time. I know it sounds stupid as I am only 22 but my brother has his first child and he is only 19. My OH's family is done with having kids. I feel like everyone is looking at us waiting. They have even starting dropping hints. It feels like I am punched in the stomach every time I see a pregnant woman, or young children. It just gets harder as time passes but we have to be strong.

I know me and OH have agreed to putting off seeing another Dr until the move, but I am getting really impatient.