Could use a buddy

[lauren26]

Sleepy - What a great OH you have!! So supportive And he's right, lol. Failure is a great teacher and brings us closer to success, right?

Sashimi - I'm glad that my story helped you! Abortion is SUCH a sensitive issue. My SIL is firmly against it so OH hid the whole thing from that part of his family for a long time. I finally told her a couple of years ago and she said, 'Oh, I'm SO glad that he didn't have a child with her!' I didn't know what to say. I felt relief but also sadness because I know it was emotional for him and not his decision--he wasn't ready for a child with her but he didn't have a say in it either way, so I think he felt really overwhelmed and powerless. Anyway. I feel better that you shared your OH's past pg, too. I'm also glad to hear that you two have NTNP occasionally. I go through waves of feeling really upset about it. My RL BFF asked me yesterday, 'What's the urgency?'--it was not at all condescending or judgmental, just concerned. I explained that it's the thing I most want and that I can't wait to be a mom, and she understood, but her question also made me stop and really feel into what was going on for me, and I DO believe it'll happen, and I know the timing will be perfect. I appreciate what you shared about your niece .

Haribo - I am loving acupuncture!! Soooooo relaxing. And I think it's working wonders for the health of my cycle. I'm excited to hear how it goes, too! I'm thinking of doing the Chinese herbs this month since I'm NTNP. I was very afraid to do them last month, but I might as well give them a shot this time around!

Country - Fx for you still.....If AF is coming, though, I hope she shows soon so that you can get on with the BDing!! I know it's frustrating just waiting when you feel her coming. Maybe a thorough session of jumping jacks and bike riding?

Sleepy - No!! I feel the same way My OH today got angry about me being on the forum because he thought it was upsetting me to hear about other womens' pg stories etc. I was like, NO!!!!! It's my biggest source of support! He understands now, and is excited that he doesn't have to do all the listening, lol. He's a great listener and we've been talking daily about TTC and parenting, but I think the charting and the methods etc are a bit much for him.

With the superpowers this thread gives me I feel like I'll have that BFP in no time at all!

 

[SleepyOwl]

I think I might try acupuncture. You all seem to love it! Do you just google acupuncturists? Or did you get recommendations from friends? Drs? Curious as to how to go about finding someone.

 

[lxb]

Hehe... What a supportive oh you have sleepyowl! :thumbsup:

DH turned to me the other day and said "you know I'll be just as happy with you either way. This is not something we live for... It is only part of our lives". Just made me smile

Oo... Acupuncture huh? Might have to look into that one too

 

[SleepyOwl]

Duh turned to me the other day and said "you know I'll be just as happy with you either way. This is not something we live for... It is only part of our lives". Just made me smile

Love this! So sweet and so important to remember.

 

[countrygirl86]

Well the good news for me is that AF came yesterday finally! I think this is the most excited I've been about her before lol Time to get cracking on the next cycle!

Sashimi - I ordered TCOYF online through chapters (I think I remember you are in Ontario?) and it only took about 2 days to get to my house. I'll have to check that stuff you mentioned out! My job is very relaxed/boring (I know I need a new one, kind of waiting to find out what will be TTC before I make a move) so I have lots of time to google! Sucks you have to get up so early but it will all be worth it in the end.

Sleepy - I totally feel like we're all BFF's too, since my DH told me to slow down a little I realized it's hard on him to hear me talking about it all, I think because he feels like any problems we have will be his 'fault'. I've found it easier to talk to all of you instead of going to him and getting the look lol That's such a nice quote your OH texted you! I've also started thinking about acupuncture but don't know enough about it. I also wonder if it would work for my DH since he holds in a lot of stress. Keep us posted!

lauren - sometimes I get hit with the 'what's the urgency' thing too, it's tough! I think what accelerates it for me is seeing all my friends pg with their nice bellies and starting to feel I'm getting left behind. 3 of our closest couples are pg all due between May and September which is great for them but our social life is definitely going to change!

lxb - it's definitely only part, but a big part once it comes!

 

[lauren26]

Country, Yay AF! Lol. Such a good attitude to have about it. I think you hit the nail on the head about urgency. It's the feeling of being left behind by my friends and family whose families are rapidly expanding and who can bond with other mothers and parents more easily since they have children. And wow, that's a lot of close, coupled friends to see pregnant at the same time! I'm sure your social life will change quite a lot, but you'll be right there with them soon, I'm sure of it. I do also feel the urgency about what everyone was discussing the other day--trying to give my parents grandchildren and trying to give my future children their grandparents for as long as possible! My parents-in-law have been the most amazing positive force in my life. I really want my children to benefit from being around them as much as they can, and to have their great grandparents, too, which there is still a little time for. I'm also an only child, so it's up to me alone to give my parents grandchildren. They are great about not putting pressure on me, but I know how badly they want them. That said, I know I need to take things one month at a time and just trust.

Sashimi, I meant to say thank you for mentioning that book, too! I am definitely going to see if I can get it at our library here, though knowing my town (which is very new-agey), there will be a long waiting list for it.

Sounds like some amazing OH's are behind the scenes! That lxb, that must have put your mind at ease.

 

[SleepyOwl]

I feel the exact same way about the urgency - I want my family to be around. OH's parents, although crazy, would be such loving grandparents and they are much older. It's a lot of pressure, especially when we have such little control.

Also, AF is still not fully here. Had some CM mixed with a little blood this morning around 8 am and there is nothing on my pantyliner. Took a HPT this morning and BFN. I knew it would be but I did it anyway because I'm a kook! Happy for you Countrygirl - so funny when we look forward to AF being here, right?

 

[haribo813]

Nice to hear from you all!

Welcome Jaynie, I am on CD10 today so same as you! Hope you have a good month, how long does your cycle tend to be?

Lxb - same boat indeed!

Sleepowl - love the phrase failing our way to success. Hope your period (if it is going to come!) comes properly and pronto...

Lauren - what chinese herbs are you thinking about taking?

Countrygirl - with you on the close friends being pregnant, i too don't know what will happen to our social life come July- still, we'll all be there soon right?!

Sashimi - sorry AF came bang on time but at least you can get on with the next month, let's hope it's a good'un for all of us. Those books sound interesting-will try anything to keep a positive mind.

I had my acupuncture session-it's weird but i didn't really feel much, apart from feeling quite flushed in the face?! He was trying to help me be more balanced generally but also to treat a sort of discomfort/pain I've had the last few weeks on my left hand side-it comes and goes and beginning to wonder if i am imagining it?! Anyway, I didn't get the endorphins people talk about and I didn't have a bad experience so will try again next week and see how i get on, it is meant to have a great effect on overall wellbeing.

I am trying to stay positive but was thrown a bit of course today by the news that my boss who is the same age as me is pregnant with her 2nd child. I don't know why this is bugging me but it really is (she got pregnant on her honeymoon and quickly again this time). It's the sense of urgency thing. This is going to sound bad but my partner and i have been together for 10 and a half years and i suppose i've always felt quite settled but now lots of couples that have got together the last few years are expecting and it's thrown me-obviously life doesn't work in any order for things but it is annoying me. Today i don't want to submit to the idea that i'll conceive when i conceive, i just want it to happen now. Any tips to stop my impatience?! I suppose your niece story Sashimi is relevant here but am struggling tonight.

Also, I have sort of been NTNP all along as it's only now i am beginning to chart/OPK (well next month anyway, missed the boat on that this month) - I don't know when i am ovulating as not getting much/any CM so have been BD'ing every day since CD6 but not sure we can both keep this up - any tips on how to avoid not feeling stressed if a day passes and you haven't and you convince yourself it was crucial?! Or should i keep trying every day until CD 16 just to be safe?

Am off to the docs tomorrow to mention left hand side pain and also ask about any tests i can do-not sure what to expect, will totally depend on the doctor as know you're not meant to go before whole year is up.

Thanks so much for all your help -my OH is so sweet and supportive but i really can't speak to anyone else about this stuff at the moment so this is really helping me.

Sorry for overly long and not as positive as i would like post too, will be more chirpy tomorrow i promise! xx

 

[SleepyOwl]

Haribo - I don't think you need to worry at all if you miss a day. So many women BD every other day and get their BFP, so don't stress that too much. I would feel SO stressed our first month if we didn't BD every day, but honestly by the time I hit 8 days in a row I was exhausted and so was OH. Then we ended up just fighting and arguing and I would get emotional.

Also I think it's fine to have down days. Sometimes you need those days just to vent and be upset and let your feelings out and can start fresh the next. We all go through those and if you can't let out those feelings here, then where can you right?! Hope you're feeling a bit better tomorrow and if you're not...don't worry - we're here to listen

 

[lxb]

Haribo... I think all of us need tips to have more patient~

But like Sleepy said, don't worry too much. It should be sufficient to do it every other day. DH and I BDed 5 days in a row.. and it was wearing us out!

And yes... this is definitely a place to vent! and we are here to listen

I just read from another thread that this lady BD once! last cycle... and got her BFP.

 

[lauren26]

Haribo - We all have those days!! We are here for you. On the subject of BD, my OH and I BD-ed every day for 13 days in a row (and then some more!), and we did not get pg that month. I have read that every other day is fine, and really every 3rd day can be optimal, too. I have been following a gal on here with PCOS who has been trying for 2 years with super long cycles. She and OH BD-ed one time during her last cycle (40 some days long), and she just found out she's pg. My niece was conceived during a chance visit between my BIL and SIL--they BD-ed one time. And she was on herbs to keep her not pg! So. It just goes to show that it only takes once As long as you BD when fertile CM is present initially, the sperm can live for up to five days or something nutty like that, so it's possible to BD and the O a few days later and get pg. Something I did the month I had my chemical was take mucinex for a few days around O to keep my CM wetter. What CD are you? The OPKs might help, too.

On acupuncture: I went to a highly recommended practitioner my first round who turned out to be not that great. One of the needles was in wrong and was horribly painful the whole time. When I got home I felt ill and very down. I found a place I liked more and now have a really blissful experience each session. The herbs that this acupuncturist recommended are a fertility blend...I don't know the Chinese name but the Western name has to do with 'Wanderer'....maybe Free and Easy Wanderer? Anyway, I really got a 'No' to them last month (gut feeling), but now I think it couldn't hurt to try. It's just stopping later if I don't like them that would be the issue, as many practitioners don't like you to change horses mid stream.

I hope you feel better. Be gentle with yourself!

 

[haribo813]

Thank you, thank you thank you! I do feel better for all your wise words and will cut myself (and OH!) a little slack because it is tiring and you don't want to get fed up with each other and TTC, you have to keep a sense of humour about it.

I am just back from the doctors-went in to talk about my lower left hand side pain which comes and goes, she thinks it's fine but I'm being booked in for an ultrasound scan which would pick up any ovarian cysts but will put my mind at rest. Despite the prospect of an internal invasive scan sometime in the next month I am feeling relieved.

Sashimi-hope your new cycle has got off to a good start with the IUI stuff. Sleepy, has your AF properly come?

Hope you all have nice evenings-I am 'working from home' for the last hour-yeah right, more like talking to you lot! Out for dinner with friends later and looking forward to it.

Thanks again to you all, you're great.
xxx

 

[lauren26]

Hey gals! Sooooo since we're NTNP this month and I've been off the sauce for 8 out of the last 12 months, I've been indulging in a glass of wine (or two) for the past few nights. I have temped the past couple of days because I had the urge on CD3 and my temp was way above the coverline still. I know I'm not pg--I had a full AF and have gotten BFNs. Do you all think that the alcohol could be spiking my temp? The morning I decided to temp (CD3) I had had one beer the night before...and my temp was way above. Anyone else have this experience? Normally I fall below CL and stay there when AF comes. Thanks, all.

 

[SleepyOwl]

Hey Lauren, I notice that when I have alcohol, my temp is noticeably higher the next day. I googled it because I thought it was strange as well, and I think a lot of women have the same experience.

Haribo - Yes! AF is full on now and I'm looking forward to kicking my new plan into gear. When is your scan scheduled for? Glad that you're feeling relieved - def. nice having peace of mind esp when TTC!

 

[countrygirl86]

A quick comment on the everyday vs. every other, I've read that if your OH has low sperm count, every other day is better to give them a chance to 'restock' lol

Are the benefits from acupuncture just stress relief or are there other benefits?

haribo - glad to hear you've gone to the dr and are in the process of getting some answers. Hopefully your next acupuncture appt is better next time. Enjoy your dinner out with your friends!

lauren - I've heard one drink CAN affect your temps, crazy to think that much but I suppose it's possible. I had 3 drinks Sunday but my temp was normal Monday, it's different for everybody though and when you drank it would make a difference too.

I'm thinking we should be getting some BFPs this month with all the plans in action around here!

 

[lxb]

Agree countrygirl! Won't it be amazing if all of us get our BFPs... bump buddies!!!!

We need some baby dust in here!

 

[biostat]

1st time poster here...

I've read through this thread and you guys seem so awesome and supportive. I'm in the same boat as you guys...age 28, 6 months TTC. We haven't really been trying anything special but doing the BD every 2 days from CD 6 to 18. (I hope I'm getting the lingo all right!). I tried doing all the checking CM, temp charting, etc. for a couple months but it just seemed to add to the stress and was confusing to interpret anyways.

It's frustrating because I'm used to controlling my life and I have this theoretical schedule that I want to be on so that things can be timed perfectly with my career...but I think I'm realizing I have to let go a little bit. It doesn't help that 5 friends and family members have announced pregnancies since we started TTC.

Anyways...anyone have some words of wisdom on how you get through the 2ww and keep your stress down and mind off it? I'm on CD 25 (11 DPO??), and my cycle length is 26-30 days (so lots of time to start hoping and then be disappointed).

 

[Hopeful4num1]

Hey! I would love to join you girls!
DH and I are about to enter into cycle number 9. This has been such a rough past 9 months!!
I wish I could be as relaxed as DH about it...I already saw my doctor last month and he won't proceed with any tests until we have tried for a year (I knew I should have lied! ha! )
So my goal this cycle is to RELAX more - so much easier said than done, right?! Of course if I see one more announcement on FB, I might go crazy Anyone else having a hard time being on Facebook lately?

 

[lxb]

:wave:

welcome biostat & hopeful4num1!

I'm looking for words of wisdom myself to get through 2ww and to keep stress down.
haha... I feel lucky that I have found this site and to have found this thread! These ladies are so supportive! I'm SOOO addicted to BnB ... got excited when there are unread posts!!!

Keep busy is what I would say and ur mind off (easier to say than done!) FX for your BFP!! Are you planning to test?

Yeah.. we all need some relaxing~~

Hopeful: FB is a killer. I have a nice handful of people who are expecting/gave births!

 

[Hopeful4num1]

:wave:

welcome biostat & hopeful4num1!

I'm looking for words of wisdom myself to get through 2ww and to keep stress down.
haha... I feel lucky that I have found this site and to have found this thread! These ladies are so supportive! I'm SOO addicted to BnB that I would click on the "User CP" so often and got excited when there are unread posts!!!

Keep busy is what I would say and ur mind off (easier to say than done!) FX for your BFP!! Are you planning to test?

Yeah.. we all need some relaxing~~

Hopeful: FB is a killer. I have a nice handful of people who are expecting/gave births!

I can't decide which is worse...the 2WW or waiting to OV! At least in the 2WW I can pretend I'm preggo I already tested today and I didn't use OPKs this month and I didn't temp so I'm not sure of exact O day but I usually spot 2-3 days before AF and that started Tuesday so any day now...Wish the would just come already so the next cycle can start! ugh!

Yes, keeping busy seems to be the key! I'm getting ready to read the Hunger Games series, so hopefully that will help

I try to stay off FB to help alleviate the "TTC blues" but then there are 2 girls at my work that are preggo so I just suffer in silence

lxb - when will you be testing?? Fingers crossed for you!! Hope this is your month!!