Could use a buddy

[lauren26]

Hello new ladies!! This is a great thread, you've come to the right place

I think the 2ww is the real tricky part. I feel very impatient waiting to O, but also more relaxed. Part of the problem, I think, is just that progesterone and estrogen affect us in different ways. I am always much more emotional during the 2nd half of my cycle--something I noticed well before TTC. Last month I did acupuncture and ate really healthy, and I believe that supported hormonal balance for me. I didn't get crazy emo until the few days leading up to AF. Any way to relieve pressure is great. It's really helped me to start having a daily chat with my OH about TTC and parenting. The constant reminder that we are on the same page and that we're here for each other is making my life much, much easier.

Acupuncture relaxes but it's also supposed to free up stuck chi (energy) and move it to areas that need it or need healing. Last week I had it on CD24, three days before AF, and remarked to my acupuncturist that I didn't feel the same kind of downward, pulling, draining feeling I normally do right before AF. She said, 'I know! We're trying to get the chi to move into the uterus and stay there.' It made perfect sense--it's just somewhat intangible so I didn't realize how impactful it would feel. Anyway, I have heard of many women going to acupuncture for fertility.

On that subject, I'll be getting a biofeedback session next week--I'm really excited! My MIL suggested it and offered me a session as an early b-day present (it's pricey!). The woman said she's worked with many women TTC and all of them have gotten pg. Of course, they have all come back each month or week, and I can't afford to be doing it constantly, but she assured me that even one session would provide a wealth of information and healing. I'm VERY excited--for the TTC reason and just because I've always wanted to try it.

biostat - I really had to drop my timeline, too, and drop my very specific vision of how my career would fit with having a child. So many unknowns!

I have not been on FB much at all anymore, and I only have a few friends with babies! FB is sort of an energy drain for me anyway.

 

[lxb]

It's really helped me to start having a daily chat with my OH about TTC and parenting. The constant reminder that we are on the same page and that we're here for each other is making my life much, much easier.

Being on the same page is the most important thing. Means you can work together and support each other. Yesterday I told DH that I appreciate he's trying to take some pressure off. And I appreciate that he told me that he'll be just as happy either way, etc. And he said... "I didn't say that to try to take pressure off. It's really how I feel". .. I know there was a reason y I married him

 

[Hopeful4num1]

Hello new ladies!! This is a great thread, you've come to the right place

I think the 2ww is the real tricky part. I feel very impatient waiting to O, but also more relaxed. Part of the problem, I think, is just that progesterone and estrogen affect us in different ways. I am always much more emotional during the 2nd half of my cycle--something I noticed well before TTC. Last month I did acupuncture and ate really healthy, and I believe that supported hormonal balance for me. I didn't get crazy emo until the few days leading up to AF. Any way to relieve pressure is great. It's really helped me to start having a daily chat with my OH about TTC and parenting. The constant reminder that we are on the same page and that we're here for each other is making my life much, much easier.

Acupuncture relaxes but it's also supposed to free up stuck chi (energy) and move it to areas that need it or need healing. Last week I had it on CD24, three days before AF, and remarked to my acupuncturist that I didn't feel the same kind of downward, pulling, draining feeling I normally do right before AF. She said, 'I know! We're trying to get the chi to move into the uterus and stay there.' It made perfect sense--it's just somewhat intangible so I didn't realize how impactful it would feel. Anyway, I have heard of many women going to acupuncture for fertility.

On that subject, I'll be getting a biofeedback session next week--I'm really excited! My MIL suggested it and offered me a session as an early b-day present (it's pricey!). The woman said she's worked with many women TTC and all of them have gotten pg. Of course, they have all come back each month or week, and I can't afford to be doing it constantly, but she assured me that even one session would provide a wealth of information and healing. I'm VERY excited--for the TTC reason and just because I've always wanted to try it.

biostat - I really had to drop my timeline, too, and drop my very specific vision of how my career would fit with having a child. So many unknowns!

I have not been on FB much at all anymore, and I only have a few friends with babies! FB is sort of an energy drain for me anyway.

I know what you mean about the hormone balance - It wasn't until I started TTC that I began truly understanding why I feel the way I do sometimes - progesterone and estrogen! I have learned SO much about myself in the last 9 months. And yes I find that the months I eat more healthy and exercise regularly, my hormones stay more balanced and my periods aren't as bad.


I am really thinking about trying acupuncture. I have heard so many good things about in on BnB.
What is biofeedback?? I have never heard of that.

 

[SleepyOwl]

1st time poster here...

I've read through this thread and you guys seem so awesome and supportive. I'm in the same boat as you guys...age 28, 6 months TTC. We haven't really been trying anything special but doing the BD every 2 days from CD 6 to 18. (I hope I'm getting the lingo all right!). I tried doing all the checking CM, temp charting, etc. for a couple months but it just seemed to add to the stress and was confusing to interpret anyways.

It's frustrating because I'm used to controlling my life and I have this theoretical schedule that I want to be on so that things can be timed perfectly with my career...but I think I'm realizing I have to let go a little bit. It doesn't help that 5 friends and family members have announced pregnancies since we started TTC.

Anyways...anyone have some words of wisdom on how you get through the 2ww and keep your stress down and mind off it? I'm on CD 25 (11 DPO??), and my cycle length is 26-30 days (so lots of time to start hoping and then be disappointed).

Welcome Biostat! I wish I had words of wisdom for the longest two weeks of our life...every month. I try to work out at least every other day and throw myself into organizing/decorating our house. Neither is 100% successful, but it takes my mind off it for a little white.

I hear you on the control issue - I think that is a huge issue for all of us, so you've come to the right place

 

[SleepyOwl]

Hey! I would love to join you girls!
DH and I are about to enter into cycle number 9. This has been such a rough past 9 months!!
I wish I could be as relaxed as DH about it...I already saw my doctor last month and he won't proceed with any tests until we have tried for a year (I knew I should have lied! ha! )
So my goal this cycle is to RELAX more - so much easier said than done, right?! Of course if I see one more announcement on FB, I might go crazy Anyone else having a hard time being on Facebook lately?

Welcome Hopeful!! Happy to have you here Sometimes I want to lie to my doc too - ohh, yes I've been trying for years, run tests! Hopefully we won't have to get to that point right?

I'm with you on the FB thing - I haven't logged on in over a week. Everyone is prego on there.

 

[lauren26]

Biofeedback is used a lot in medical and psychiatric research. You are hooked up to little sensors that are attached to a biofeedback machine and then bring up (I think through talking?) something you'd like to work on. The machine picks up on all kinds of things that are going on within your body and displays them on a screen. From what I understand it's mainly about becoming aware of patterns in the body or emotions so that they can be healed. I wish I could be more specific or accurate--I will definitely let you all know what happens after my session next week!

 

[Hopeful4num1]

SleepyOwl - I hope we don't have to lie either! I will say, I thought about finding a new doctor just so we could "stretch the truth" and say we have been trying longer! I can NOT imagine waiting another 4 months to just begin finding out what is wrong, not even fixing the problem yet. But that is NOT going to happen to us - we WILL get our BFPs!!

Lauren - I can't wait to hear how your session goes! That sounds very intriguing! I continue to be amazed by how much affects our bodies and how it all intertwines together. Fascinating!

 

[haribo813]

Nice to hear from Biostat and Hopeful, good luck to you both this month with cycles and welcome to the 2013 baby forum

Biofeedback sounds really interesting, keen to hear all about it.

I haven't been able to book my scan yet-as it's through the national health service here in the UK it's a bit slow-I wait for them to send me a letter and then can ring up and book a scan?! Why I can't just ring/email I don't know!

FB is not good for our health! When I get my BFP I won't be posting baby comments and pictures of our little one, that's a promise!

Sleepy and Lauren it's useful what you say about diet and exercise improving your cycle and thinking about it, it rings true for me too-I ate ridiculously healthily the other week and think that chased my AF away 2 days earlier than normal, what a result!

Going to be offline for a few days as the wedding season starts in earnest for us-3 weddings in the next 4 weekends-I'd better go and start sorting my outfit!

Have good weekends all and hope everyone can stay nice and busy and enjoy spending time with their OH (a good unpregnant friend of mine also said we may as well be making the most of the good things about not yet having a baby, like lies in and being able to go out whenever we want so i shall try and do that too...) xx

 

[SleepyOwl]

Have fun at the weddings Haribo - that's a busy month you have ahead of you!

 

[lxb]

a good unpregnant friend of mine also said we may as well be making the most of the good things about not yet having a baby, like lies in and being able to go out whenever we want so i shall try and do that too...

That's definitely true. You can sleep in... go out whenever/wherever
Enjoy the moment because you only get "today" once!

One of my favorite quotes I read:
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present

 

[biostat]

a good unpregnant friend of mine also said we may as well be making the most of the good things about not yet having a baby, like lies in and being able to go out whenever we want so i shall try and do that too...

That's definitely true. You can sleep in... go out whenever/wherever
Enjoy the moment because you only get "today" once!

One of my favorite quotes I read:
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present

This is very true ladies...thanks for the reminder to be thankful for the lovely things about our lives now, even if we are hoping for a major change. Eventually we will look back with nostalgia to our times of freedom...

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Ladies! I've been AWOL for a couple of days and feel like I've missed so much. I'm excited to see the addition of some new TTC buddies on this thread and it seems like we have people from all over the globe which is exciting!

I've managed to survive my first week at the new job, but feeling pretty run down today. I'm taking the subway every day and got stuck beside someone who wouldn't stop coughing on me, so not surprised I'm getting sick. I went to my fertility clinic for day 3 cycle monitoring and got there right when the clinic opened at 7 a.m. My doctor is away on vacation, so the covering doctor decided not to show up until 8:30, so I had to leave without seeing him. I was pretty stressed, but a nurse called me after they had a look at my bloodwork and ultrasound and recommended I start a fertility drug called femara. It's something that improves the quality of the egg and I feel like I'm kind of blindly taking it without a lot of information, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. So I started it last night (day 4) and will take it until day 8. Then I'll go back to the clinic on day 10 and I imagine we'll do another IUI this month.

I'm finding balancing work AND the fertility clinic vists VERY challenging. But I am glad on one hand that I have this new gig as a distraction. I have felt a little less crazy this cycle, so we'll just see how it goes.

Lauren, did you do the biofeedback? I remember reading about biofeedback a couple of years ago and would be so interested to hear about your experience. I hope your NTNP is going okay for you and it's helping you and your OH feel relaxed.

What about everyone else, how is this cycle going for you?

 

[countrygirl86]

Hey Sashimi, it's great to hear from you. Glad to hear the new job is going well and is acting as a good distraction. I've heard of that drug before, hopefully it works its magic for you. The balance is a challenge but necessary and before long you'll be working in appointments about your pregnancy instead It sounds like our cycles are really close this month!

I'm on day 6, AF is slowing quite a bit so I'm looking forward to starting SMEP on Thursday (maybe Tuesday lol). Other than that there's been enough to keep my mind off TTC since I threw my SIL's baby shower yesterday and we're trying to sell a house my DH built (he's a home builder) so the stress of that stuff is giving me a break from TTC stress!

 

[SleepyOwl]

Hi Ladies! I've been AWOL for a couple of days and feel like I've missed so much. I'm excited to see the addition of some new TTC buddies on this thread and it seems like we have people from all over the globe which is exciting!

I've managed to survive my first week at the new job, but feeling pretty run down today. I'm taking the subway every day and got stuck beside someone who wouldn't stop coughing on me, so not surprised I'm getting sick. I went to my fertility clinic for day 3 cycle monitoring and got there right when the clinic opened at 7 a.m. My doctor is away on vacation, so the covering doctor decided not to show up until 8:30, so I had to leave without seeing him. I was pretty stressed, but a nurse called me after they had a look at my bloodwork and ultrasound and recommended I start a fertility drug called femara. It's something that improves the quality of the egg and I feel like I'm kind of blindly taking it without a lot of information, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. So I started it last night (day 4) and will take it until day 8. Then I'll go back to the clinic on day 10 and I imagine we'll do another IUI this month.

I'm finding balancing work AND the fertility clinic vists VERY challenging. But I am glad on one hand that I have this new gig as a distraction. I have felt a little less crazy this cycle, so we'll just see how it goes.

Lauren, did you do the biofeedback? I remember reading about biofeedback a couple of years ago and would be so interested to hear about your experience. I hope your NTNP is going okay for you and it's helping you and your OH feel relaxed.

What about everyone else, how is this cycle going for you?

Glad to hear from you - we missed ya It has to be exhausting and stressful juggling all those fertility clinic visits and work, but you seem like you're dealing well with it. How great would it be if next month the fertility clinic visits could stop and baby doc visits would begin?!!

Do you feel any different taking the Femara...side effects wise? I hope this does the trick for you girl!

 

[SleepyOwl]

I'm on day 6, AF is slowing quite a bit so I'm looking forward to starting SMEP on Thursday (maybe Tuesday lol). Other than that there's been enough to keep my mind off TTC since I threw my SIL's baby shower yesterday and we're trying to sell a house my DH built (he's a home builder) so the stress of that stuff is giving me a break from TTC stress!

I'm ready to start SMEP too! I'm on CD 5 and we BD'd this morning. Praying that this is it for us. I felt really, really discouraged since yesterday. Went to a friend's bridal shower and so many of her family members had cute little babies, which was fine. I loved playing with them and no one asked any baby questions. But I saw one of my friends I haven't seen in months. I had a feeling she was pregnant because she has really been laying low and she didn't say she was, but girl is totally pregnant. Belly and all. She looked adorable and I could tell she was watching what she ate, staying away from all alcohol and caffeine (so NOT like her). I was so jealous For the first time I really felt jealous and bitter. When I see people on FB announcing pregnancies I get frustrated and just wish it was me, but I couldn't believe how I felt yesterday. I felt like a bad person. Even OH said I sounded like a hater. Trying to stay positive, but it was really hard yesterday

 

[lauren26]

Hey Sashimi! That sounds like quite a runaround with your fertility clinic, but I'm glad you have your new job as a distraction. It's also nice that you'll only have to take te Femara for a few days--I don't know whether people usually take it for longer, but hopefully that eases your mind until you have more information about it!

I have not done the biofeedback yet, that will happen this Thursday and I'm very excited!

My acupuncturist talked me into doing herbs this month--only 3 days of them, which I feel good about. That means, though, that I need to temp and do OPKs. I feel OK about it--I haven't gotten sucked back into my stress pattern at this point so I'm happy to temp. Here's te question I had for y'all though: I mentioned that my temps were over last months coverline still, and blamed that on the wine I had a few nights. Well, no alcohol last night and my temp was still high-ish. Also, in months prior I had a drink here and there and it didn't seem to affect my temps too much...I did get a new thermometer, a bbt one. My others were not old, I just wanted one specifically made for bbt. I'm wondering if it's that? Anyone else have this experience? I don't know of any other reasons (well, I can think of dozens but they're all frightening and irrational!) that my temp would still be high. Let me know what you gals think.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

 

[Hopeful4num1]

Checking in with you lovely ladies! It has been a few days since I've been on.

Hairobo813 - Hope you had fun this weekend!

lxb - Thank you for the reminder to stay positive. I love that quote too! Every time I begin to feel down about not having a little one yet, I remind myself of the things I would likely no longer be able to do so leisurely (like, sleeping in!)

SashimiMimi - I can only imagine how frustrating that doctor's appointment must have been! I hate sitting there and waiting forEVER (usually around 30-60 mins) for my doctor and then to find out that you weren't even able to see one. At least the nurses were able to help. Good luck with the new fertility drug! Hope it is your lucky month!!

SleepyOwl - I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a bad person for being jealous!! Two of the teachers I work with are pregnant. One is due in July and one in August. They are both friends of mine but I can not help but feel SO jealous of them. I fight this emotion everyday at work. Some days are easier than others but I always feel like a bad person for even being the slight bit jealous. One day it will be our turn! I try to remind myself of that. Positive, Positive, Positive!! for us all!!

Lauren26 - Wish I could help you with your temping Qs but that is one thing I have not done during this TTC journey. What herbs did your acupuncturist suggest for you to take?

 

[lauren26]

Sleepy- I think that we posted at the exact same time this morning! That shower sounds so triggering, I'm sorry you had to go through that It can be SO difficult to feel happy when everyone around you is getting what you want while you've been doing everything you can to have it and it's not here yet. I feel I'm at least momentarily on the other side of it right now knowing that we are ALL going to get our BFPs--I hope that's some comfort! I know it will happen. Like you said a while back (I think), it's so easy for me to feel optimistic about others and not myself, but I'm really just know we are all going to have our bumps. Hopefully this clarity lasts during my TWW this month, lol.

Anyway, that said, it can be excrutiating to be around moms and kids and other ladies' bumps. We are here for you

 

[SashimiMimi]

I'm with you ladies in the feeling frustrated department. I logged onto facebook this morning only to see the little sister of a childhood friend just had a baby. In my mind this girl is still 8 years old... And I remember seeing University grad pics a couple years ago, wedding pics last summer and now she has a baby. When it's a friend's little sister, part of me can't believe she has a baby before me. I know it's not a race, but uggghhh! Also there are several people who post weekly pics of their baby bumps. Does anyone remember life before Facebook when we didn't know what ever single person from grade 5 was doing?

As for the fertility drug, I woke up with a massive headache this morning. I don't know if it's from the meds or from the weather. But I only have to take it for 3 more days and hopefully it will help.

Thanks for all your encouraging words that this might turn from fertility appointments to actual baby appoints. It's frustrating when we go through all these measures and they don't work out the first time. But at least we have all these different things available to us like acupuncture, fertility clinics and even fertility message boards where we can connect like this!!!

My question is how do you respond to people saying whats the urgency? I know I got this from my our friends who came over last weekend like why are we jumping the gun with th fertility doctor... I just feel in my heart that I need this to happen now, so what is a diplomatic answer? I think we have touched on this topic a bit, but I'm definitely getting this question a lot. I'm guilty of this when I see 18-23 year old girls on here posting about how they have been TTC for 2 months and they are really upset/worried. But I'm understanding more and more no matter what the age or how long the ttcing goes on for it's such a personal experience.

ps. Lauren wish I could be more help on the temping. I found my temps fluctuated a lot because I am such a terrible sleep. If I didn't get a good night temps would be all over the place!!

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi - I really think that it's fine to just be honest with people (when and if that feels comfortable) in saying what you just said--that you feel in your heart that this is the time and that you are honoring what feels right to you. There's nothing wrong with that--that's exactly what we all ought to do! For me, something shifted when I realized that some people in my life just wouldn't understand, and even the ones with children would probably not understand because they'd never TTC for more than one month. Armed with that knowledge, I've felt safer entering into conversations with people about TTC or simply declining to engage with them on the subject. We were at a dinner party a few nights ago with two couples we know. One couple are close friends of ours, and the other couple hosted. They are in their later 40s and have children. They asked us if and when we were going to have children. I almost jumped into my whole story, knowing full well that they are very opinionated and not afraid to share it! Luckily, OH just said, 'We're thinking about it!' and that ended the conversation. I thought oh, yes. I don't have to defend myself to everyone! Anyway, I have responded to the urgency question in several ways, and the one that seems to quiet the person asking is, "It just feels like it's time. Now is the time." I think it's hard to argue with someone who is clearly stating their truth! My advice is just to be honest when it feels right, and not feel the need to defend yourself, as much as it's possible (it's hard for me!). Otherwise, saying something like, "It's a bit personal and I don't really feel like going into it right now." Anyway, let me know how it goes! I'm finding that talking about TTC is a difficult art to master.