Could use a buddy

[SashimiMimi]

Haribo your NYE sounds lovely! We had a great time in NYC, ate some really great food, but I swear that place is the most crowded city on earth. I think it is crowded year round, but during the holidays was insane! We had to line up just to cross the street, so that slowed us down in regards to everything we wanted to do.

I'm sorry you had some emotional moments during the holidays. It's so tough and I remember feeling like a Grinch last Xmas for our lack of TTC success and everyone else around me getting a BFP with a snap of their fingers. But this is a new year and a fresh start and you will be the one celebrating the holidays with a baby in your arms next year.

Treasured congrats on the new job offer and new place! When do you move in? Good luck with starting up TTC again.

I'm a little sick of hearing about celebrity pregnancies. I know the royal pregnancy is one thing and we will hear about it to no end, but now Jessica Simpson who has a HUGE bump after just having her first baby 7 months ago? And even worse Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? Haven't they been dating for about 5 minutes? I know one of her sisters suffers from infertility so that can't be easy. But she released a statement saying that pregnancy is so hard (she is 12 weeks) and that she suffers from morning sickness. Sigh! It's just so easy for some people.

Well I wrote this in my journal, but I suspected all along that we are having a boy and that was pretty much confirmed in our anatomy scan last week. I'm very excited! But my grandmother has expressed some disappointment in the gender because boys aren't as fun to shop with and also hates the name we have picked out. She was very vocal about it and I was really upset that someone in my family could show such a lack of support after all we have been through. I'm going to try to stop getting so emotional about what other people say, even if it's family.

 

[lauren26]

Lol at the mustache haribo!! And treasured, you know what they say--new house, new baby. I need to catch up on our crazy lady thread a bit but I think ill wait til I'm not on my phone. Just dropped in for a moment!

 

[Pino6161]

I am finally home after 2 long weeks in Oklahoma! I have so much to do so I will update you all later!!!

Happy late Christmas and New Year

 

[lauren26]

Pino! Can't wait to hear how things are with you.

 

[Pino6161]

Ok so Oklahoma was beautiful!! I had my first white Christmas (that I remember as my mother pointed out) It was gorgeous! A little windy for my taste but I still loved it. My dad made my mom a wagon to be used as a planter for Chrisrmas. I was beautiful, and only took hime a day to make it. I attached a picture. I bought my sister a camera that she used the heck out of LOL. The best part was all the "white people" food my dad made, I really missed his cooking!! They bought me a crap load of kitchen stuff for when we move.

I met my SIL for the first time. I do not like her, I just barely put up with her. Their daughter is now 6 months old and had not tasted ANYTHING other than breast milk. We finally talked them into making cereal for her, and it looked like freaking water. She didn't get the hint that it was to thin. On top of that. me and my parents were cooking all day. They did not even offer to help cook, or clean up. My dad told my brother to help out, and he said "I don't even do tht at home" and walked away!! I was PISSED!! So fast forward to my sister's birthday. They came over and I asked my brother just to dry the dishes. He said no and went ooutside while his wife followed them and walked outside. I locked their asses out of the house. He went to the door, and tried talking so I flipped him off. I did open the door 5 minutes later... So we were all eating and SIL didn't like it UGH so she didn't eat well my mom asked her why James (my brother) doesn't help out around the house. She said "he works 6 days a week I wouldn't do that to him" I laughed and told her My OH works 7 days 13/14 hour days and he still will try and help out. So after we ate me and mom sat down and they clane the kitchen (as they could tell I was pissed cause they are so lazy).

At Christmas me and my dad kept giving the baby tastes of food. Like baked potato all mashed up and stuff. They were pissed. So my brother makes a point of saying on my sister's b-day not to feed the baby anything. Me and my dad laughed and I said if they are not smart enough to feed their child, then we would. She needs to learn how to swallow. At that after you put a tiny bit of food in her mouth she would start sucking on her fingers to swallow it properly.

Needless to say I can tell my SIL does not like me, and I do not like her. She is one of those people who is quiet and the minute you leave the room talks shit, I heard it.

I am not jealous anymore though just saddened. My brother has gotten HUGE though he was only 130 lbs last time I saw him 4 years ago, and is now 350ish. WOW.

My dad could not stop saying how happy he was that I came up, it was so sweet.

I purposly planned to leave the day the kids start school, as my sister has really bad anxiety. Well She saw me packing on Sunday and had a break down, I fel so bad. But I showed her on the Calender when I would be back, so it helped her a little. Usually we are lucky to see each other once a year since I left 5 years ago. It's really hard on her, as I raised her, and then up and left. She also has her 1st boyfriend. I think it's sweet even though she is only 12 y/o

My brother is 15 and a little player LOL. He plays basketball, and it really good at it. Him and my sister bicker A LOT!

My parents and I bonded for the first time in forever and it was great.

I am still worried about the move as we will be taking a hit financially, but I think we are ready....


Sorry I was so scattered LOL I typed as I thought it all.

I hope everyone had a great holiday

 

[Pino6161]

PS.... My SIL is still breast feeding which I thin is great. But my parents are very old fashioned. Do it in private kind of thing. Well we are all sitting talking and she whips it out to feed, not covering or anything. My dad made the kids leave the room, and so did he embarrassed. I had to tell her to use my room as it is not appropriate to do that in front of the kids and my dad, it makes them uncomfortable. It would have been different if she did it discreetly or covered. I wasn't rude or anything. My brother then said if the baby is hungry she is hungry. I told I understand that, but it is about courtesy in someone else's house with kids around. I know they are old enough to know and all of that, but my parents shelter them badly.

 

[lauren26]

Wow Pino....that SIL sounds like a piece of work!! And the not helping out around the house, especially at holidays when your parents are hosting, would really steam my potatoes, too!!! I am with you 100% on the breastfeeding--I plan to breastfeed but I'd definitely cover up or leave the room. Who wants their in-laws seeing their nipples?! That sounds like a stressful holiday but also like you got some great time with your siblings. How many siblings do you have? Are you the oldest? I'm glad you got the chance to go home, even with the awkward SIL boob moments!

 

[lxb]

definitely agree the in-laws dont need to see those nipples!

glad to hear you have a nice time and bonded with your parents~! that's the nicest thing we can have for the holiday~

In fairness to your SIL though (IMHO, I'm not criticizing or anything), I think I would be mad if people feed my baby food even though I've told them not to. (even though they mean well). I know 'back in the days', our parents do whatever we want with us and we all turned out well~ but today's doc would actually suggest no solid food until the baby is at least 6 months old. Then introduce them to fruits like blueberry, etc. Don't get me wrong though.. I don't agree with your SIL by not feeding the baby food other than breast milk~

My nephew is 1.5 years old, and STILL not eating normal people food! he's only drinking milk/water, and everything like rice/noodle/vegetable.. it's all plain! No seasoning! And only certain type of food. I don't understand how my sister or BIL thinks... but I just left them alone as it's their child. They let him tried peanut butter once, and it turned out he's allergic to it. and my other sis and I would ask 'the mom' everytime we want to feed him...

 

[Pino6161]

I have 3. And yes I am the oldest.

Me: 22

James: 20

Ricky: 15

Sissy (Jenny): 12

Ricky and Jenny are my half sibling, although I consider them real. My mom adopted me and James when she married my dad. I was 5 at the time.

 

[Pino6161]

lxb--- I do agree to an extent. was a bit of a bitch. It would honestly piss me off if she did it to me. The baby is almost 7 months old. Didn't start sleeping in a crib until last month. She was sleeping in a bouncer. Trust me I understand your point. I kind of acted in the moment

 

[lxb]

I think I would've done the same thing too! Just to piss her off~ afterall.. we ARE some crazy ladies~

 

[haribo813]

Oh my pino! SIL sounds like a piece of work! So pleased you had a fun time at home notwithstanding her, sounds so amazing to catch up with everyone. Urgh to not helping and flashing boobs though! Is your move in Feb? It's come round fast!

Sashimi, congrats on having a boy. And what is your granon about?! Maybe it's some kind of odd flattery-she thinks a girl is more likely to look like you?! It's obviously still so so wrong and so exasperating given your journey. And celeb pregnancies noooo! My personal favourite is magazines saying how amazing it is that celebs have lost all their babyweight in 6 weeks. Pretty sure we could all do that if we were so inclined, had a night nurse, a day nurse, a chef and a personal trainer on hand! The royal pregnancy is too much-it's everywhere. Poor k-midi, must be weird carrying an heir and living in a goldfish bowl!

Treasured well done on being offered that role even if you're not taking it-in demand girl! Do you know when you're going to the docs? Let me know how you get on and I hope they're not funny about doing tests. Bed for me. How is everyone else? Xxx

 

[Pino6161]

We don't move until the last week in March, but still right around the corner LOL

 

[lauren26]

Pino that is right around the corner!! How exciting I bet you're happy to be back with DH and to start prepping for the big adventure.

Haribo I feel sorry for Kate Middleton, too. I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of pressure she (or anyone who is royalty) has to live with!!! My hat is off to her.

 

[Pino6161]

So me and Oh talked about our finances and stuff. We have come to a few conclusions. To start I am applying for school. I want to get my bachelor's in elementary education with a specific in special education. So I start in April and will take a few summer classes. He does have his new job secured at $10 and hour, but a lot less hours than he is now. Plus for the first time we will be paying rent and utilities. I am really worried about our finances. Don't get me wrong we will make it but it will be really tight. So on top of going to school full time I need to find a job. Since I haven't worked in a while it will be very difficult. That and my 2 misdemeanors will make it hard, but a necessity. We won't have medical insurance right away as his boss is a small company. Well my dad wants to put me on his insurance. With that I will still get all the testing done and find out what is going on with my body. BUT we decided it would be best if we got settled financially before we have kids. It breaks my heart knowing we have to wait, but it is the right thing to do. It would not be fair to any child to be raised without financial security. We even talked about the fact that after we figure out what is wrong, I should go on birth control. I am not comfortable with that though.. I don't know what to do. Knowing that it is the right thing to wait, but going that extra step and preventing what I desperately want seems so wrong to me. I need advise. If we stay living here we have the financial security as we don't pay rent or anything. But it is not fair to my OH to have to work 13/14 hours a day at a job he hates. He is about to turn 24 and he is exhausted. That and neither of us have any life outside each other and our family. I don't think that is fair either We have no friends cause of his hours and the fact that we live in the middle of no where. We live on a farm, and the schools out here are not good, so that would not be fair to a child either. What do we do?? I need some outside advice. Please no judgments, just what would you do if you were in my shoes??

 

[lauren26]

Pino I definitely think that moving towards independence as a couple, as a family, etc will be best for you and DH and best for your future family. Starting out is hard, but the reward really is worth it. Budgets are an ongoing part of life, too, and we've grown as a couple and gotten really clear about what we want and need in life because of the requirements of financial independence. I do agree about the health insurance--your baby will need to have it for sure, and I think it is best for you to have it as a future and expectant mother, too. Good luck, I'm sure that whatever you choose will be perfect. I support you either way.

 

[lxb]

wss^^

It seems like you're heading to the right direction and getting yourself financially independent. Definitely join under your father's insurance so you can get some answers and hopefully it will be a quick fix (if any).

If it was me, I would probably go on birth control if I know I'm not financially ready for a baby (it could get expensive). It also sounded like you two need some time to enjoy life outside of just the two of you and your family.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Pino I 100% agree with the other ladies here. From what you describe, it sounds like you and OH are in limbo in your current situation. I think moving somewhere new, having goals with school and a new job are all things you would probably really value having in your life right now.

One thing I will say as someone who has fertility issues is don't go back on the pill until you get checked out. You have been trying for so long and it sounds like there could be a fixable issue, but if it were me I would want it diagnosed first before taking any medications that alter your fertility. It does sound like that perhaps it would be best to wait to TTC again while you make this transition in your life, but I think getting your health checked out should be one of your priorities. See what the doctor says about going back on the pill first. That is just my two cents anyway.

But like everyone is saying, health insurance for a baby AND you are extremely important. Change is scary but these all sound like very positive changes in your life!

 

[preg_pilot]

Pino - Just my 5 cents
I´m 31 years old, with a first baby on the way. OH is 27 years old.
We both have the education we want to have, and I´m getting a stable job in April this year.
I wouldn´t have wanted to have a baby while going through the roller coaster of losing my job every winter for the last 6 years...

Don´t get me wrong, people are ready for children at different points in their lives, but in my and OH´s cases, the right thing to do was wait.
We feel much more confident. We have our own apartment, at least one highly paid stable job on the horizon, and the ability to buy a family car in the next couple of weeks.

For us, this was the right thing to do. We could have started on our family 5 years ago, but then we would have been out on the rental market, with no financial security (him in school and me out of a job every winter).

I hope this is useful for you

 

[SashimiMimi]

Preg: I don't know why I thought this, but I actually thought you were 21 this entire time not 31! Shows what I know! What will your new job be in April?

I meant to give an AFM update earlier, but totally forgot. We had a bit of a scare last week with the results of my 20 week ultrasound. The doctors thought there could be a hole in the baby's heart, but that does not appear to be the case. All rechecks came back clear. Needless to say, I had a meltdown between getting the news of the possible defect on Thursday and having the recheck done on Friday. I was literally sick with worry and threw up twice on Friday! I wrote this all in my journal, but I know not everyone checks individual journals.

Other than that, I'm adjusting to non holiday mode. I felt like after I lost my job I went right into holiday mode and was keeping pretty busy. OH took some extra time off, so it felt like an extra long vacation after our NYC trip. Now I feel overwhelmed at the amount of prepping I need to do before May, and don't really know where to start.

I signed up for some prenatal classes today, as well as some yoga classes that start next week. I'm seeing my niece and nephew tomorrow and just enjoying not having to commute and work late nights right now. Sometimes I feel at a loss for what to do, but I think I will appreciate this quiet time soon enough.

How is everyone else doing? Pino, I meant to say I am glad you had a good time over the holidays but your SIL does sound like a handful. Sounds like you handled her with grace and class and I love that you locked them outside. Haha! Have you thought anymore about your Oklahoma move? I was really sorry to hear that your OH works such long hours and hates his job. Life is too short to be that miserable that young. My OH has been having meltdowns all week regarding his work, I think he just feels overwhelmed with all the changes in our life going on. I know that whatever you guys decide to do, it will all work out. You have each other and are a united front.