Could use a buddy

[lauren26]

Treasured - Welcome!! Happy to have you join I am with you--it is very frustrating to realize that not everyone gets pg right away! I found my OB's blog today and she says on it '70% of couples get pregnant within 6 months, 85-90% within one year'. I was like, I don't think that's right!!! Based on the scores of women I see on BnB (which is only one out of many, many sites like it), I think it takes a lot of people much longer! I started B vits last month, too, and I had a really great cycle. I do think it helps--B is so good for so many things! I also got on a super healthy diet and was doing acupuncture, which I'm sure made a difference too. I will O in a few days, too! I am CD11 and usually O on CD 14. We can be cycle buddies!

Sashimi - Sorry about your anxiety! I have had it sooo bad this week, too. I feel a million zillion times better after seeing the OB today, but I really came down with a case of it. I can't remember the last time I felt so anxious! I am curious whether yours is a side effect--the Femara has hormones in it, right? That would definitely make sense. I hope you are feeling better. Glad you're done with it for this round! Hopefully you'll be done with it for good

 

[lxb]

:wave: welcome treasured!! Yep... I was also one of the ones that thought it would happen straight away. Oo.. O coming up huh? Bet you're busy bd-ing?? hehe...
That's great about your LP has been increased to 12 days now. Hoping this will be your month as well! FX!



I kept telling myself when I see the BPN for the past few cycles... like what lauren said..
'70% of couples get pregnant within 6 months, 85-90% within one year'

 

[lauren26]

lxb didn't realize you were in TWW! Maybe due to my paranoia fog, which has now lifted! Lol. Excited for you!! You're ahead of us this month. Fx for you and babydust!!

 

[lxb]

thanks lauren~~~

tww has been MUCH better since i joined this forum. I love reading about you ladies' updates and "trying" to answer question some people have in this forum. A nice distraction too! Spreading dusts to everyone~ Love seeing how people I stalked/stalked got their BFP for the very first time (feel so envy) and hope baby dust will rub off on me too~~

half NTNP sounds great~~~ no pressure is always a good thing!

 

[lauren26]

OH update - SA was 'good'. 10% on the kruger scale (which I've read that clinics say isn't the best but is actually normal-good), and 180 million sperm. What??? I had no idea there were that many in such a small amount of baby batter! I guess that's a good amount, too. Who knew? I certainly didn't. They also checked acidity and viscosity and said those were fine.

OK enough posts from me for today..

 

[treasured]

Thank you hehe!

I agree lauren! SO many websites with stats that say over 80% get pregnant within a year.... doesnt seem quite right! Although it is heart breaking and seems like a lifetime waiting to find out every month I cant quite get my head around the fact that its already been 6 months and if we are following those percentages we should in theory be pregnant soon.... atleast some of us. However according to these boards, its LIES. haha!

Its hard to stop yourself from feeling like there must be something wrong with us huh? I say to my OH all the time that if only there was a little jab you could give yourself that said you CAN DEFFINATELY CONCEIVE, or YOU NEED 'bla bla bla cream' or YOU SHOULD USE PRESEED' just as easily as that then I wouldnt mind if it took a year, so long as I knew I was doing everything I could? I dont know if that makes sense but I guess im just not so keen on having tests done that may not even give me results!

We should deffinately be testing buddies though! are you a crazy poas fiend like me?

Thanks Lxb! Yes me and OH are trying to get as much BDing in as possible, both have a bit of the flu right now so hoping that doesnt affect his little guys. FX for you this cycle how long you going to hold off testing for??

Can I ask how old you gals are? Im 21, which is why I guess I'm a bit paranoid as I thought it would be easier as im young!

xxx

 

[SashimiMimi]

I love seeing new ladies in here, especially since some of the original posters have vanished. However, I think we have a nice little support group going on here. So welcome treasured and rest assured there are women like you all over the world who are TTC for several months now. This will be cycle 10 for me.

Lauren I've been anxious all week. Being sick threw me off and last night I had a bit of a meltdown because I don't want this new job to interfere with TTC. Tomorrow I have to go to an early morning conference that goes all day followed by an awards show and networking event, so that will go all evening and I have to fit in the fertility visit before all of this!!! I'm feeling quite overwhelmed but keep reminding myself the the job is supposed to be a distraction! I'm glad your doctors visit went well and there are no concerns. I get super paranoid about my health when the slightest thing seems off!!

I also don't like that I haven't been able to keep up with BnB!!!! It feels like there is so much going on that Im missing! This cycle is going really fast, soon enough we will all be another 2ww! I'm determined to stay relaxed and let whatever will be will be!

 

[SleepyOwl]

Ahh I've missed so much in just one day!

Treasured - Welcome!! I think we all thought it would be MUCH easier to get pregnant. I was mulling over it today and thinking about how naive I was to the whole process. But I suppose all good things are worth waiting for, right?

Lauren - Happy to hear OH's SA came back normal and that you're feeling better after your OB appt. Sometimes you just need to get that all out and discuss just to reassure yourself. TTC definitely makes you nuts about your body. And yay for OH wanting to BD on fertile days - it's amazing how in tune they get with our cycles, lol!

Sashimi - Sorry to hear about your anxiety I'm glad you're finished with Femara too. I hope your day tomorrow is manageable. The last thing you need is added stress.

Supposed to start SMEP tonight. OH even came home early - he has asked every day since I ended AF, "Are you ovulating?". Poor guy doesn't have a clue. Hopefully he isn't too exhausted, although he seems more relaxed than yesterday. Fingers crossed!

 

[biostat]

Hopeful – Good luck on your baby showers too. I know you can make it through. I try to keep my mood jokey and just think of it as a fun party for someone I care about. Luckily for me only a couple people know we are TTC, so I don’t get any awkward questions at these events. But then there’s the baby-face cupcakes, cake with frosting in the shape of a lamb, little chocolate bird’s nests with eggs in them – it’s pretty strong reminders even after the presents. Whatevs…our time will come, too.

Sashimi and Sleepy – I think you guys are right on about husbands wanting to lift us up a little bit when we are discouraged, instead of joining us (well, at least me!) in moping around. This is definitely a dynamic with my DH and you’ve made me recognize it. It’s actually a very helpful insight for me – thanks.

TTC has truly taken me to the depths of my neurosis about health, lol.

Lauren – OMG, this is pretty much the funniest/most brilliant comment I’ve seen on here. Depths of neurosis is SO how I feel. About several areas of life, but especially TTC. So glad your SA was good. That’s one less thing to be neurotic about

My parents gave me a book on mindfulness for Xmas, and since I have had a lot of anxiety too, I’m taking a look at it, and it’s actually helping. “A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook” is the title. It’s about being present in the moment (not letting our anxieties rule our mind), letting ourselves positively respond to our bodies and the world around us, meditation, etc.

 

[biostat]

Thanks for everyone’s FX. Still haven’t seen AF, CD31, though I’m analyzing every little stomach cramp for being the precursor to AF. I’m out of town for work without my stash of HPTs…I may just make a dash from the hotel to pharmacy tonight so I can test tomorrow AM, even though I’ll be home tomorrow night. So impatient!!

Treasured – Welcome! Lovely to have you here. As other posters have said, I think that’s how all of us feel – thought it would be pretty quick, but we’re just the ones who have to have a little more patience, I guess.

The 85% stat can be discouraging or encouraging, depending on the way you look at it, but I think we also have to remember that you can be perfectly fertile and not conceive for a number of months simply by chance. It’s like playing slots for an hour and not winning a thing. Usually you win at least something, but occasionally you’ll have a bad night, or in our case, bad set of rollercoaster months. And then you end up on these message boards ☺ Nothing wrong with trying to stack the deck every way we can, though (to mix my gambling analogies!! I’m not actually a gambler – but I do work a lot with statistics.)

 

[lauren26]

Wow, reading all of these makes me so curious what everyone's job is! Lol.

Sashimi - Don't worry--we are here! And not going anywhere! I really feel that stress around not being able to keep up with BnB--especially since we have become such a support for one another! But you are in mind and heart and we are here Your day tomorrow sounds CRAZY. Can you call on the support of coffee, even though you're TTC? Sounds like the job is a distraction, but perhaps a little much right now! Seems very busy. Is there any part of the new lifestyle that does feel relaxing? I know it can take a minute to get used to a new routine--it's no wonder you've been anxious. I think I was a little sick, too, and OH is going through a lot right now, so that amplifies it! Too bad life can't stop and wait while we TTC! Anyway, we've got your back, sister!

Treasured - We just experiment every month. My main goal has been to choose things that feel really helpful in supporting my bodily and emotional health--I think I've gotten somewhat intuitive about what will help and what will hinder! I have totally wished for the button that would tell me exactly what I need to do. But biostat is right--we can be perfectly fertile and just miss that egg, or just have a slightly off hormonal pattern during a cycle. It's such a delicate symphony! I am 26, and technically this will be my 10th cycle TTC.

Biostat - I'm so glad you can relate!! I have felt like a CRAZY person this week! For reaaaal. Lol. Anyway, that book your parents gave you sounds awesome--your parents sound very supportive and healthy! My OH has been in a fear of flying class and they use a lot of progressive muscle relaxation and mindfulness meditation. My college was Buddhist-based, so I have experienced the benefits of mindfulness and meditation. To be honest it's what's gotten me through the 10 months of TTC so far! I'm so glad you brought it up--I've been feeling secretly woo woo over here with my meditation and visioning...And grrrrrrrrl, TEST!!! Let us know! I'm dying to know.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Treasured I just saw you asked how old everyone is... I'm 30, but I think our ages vary. And I have learned TTC is frustrating no matter how old. I'm sure you get people telling your you're so young, have lots of time, etc. it doesn't make I easier. Looking back I can't believe the amount of years I spent trying not to get pregnant. Sometimes I can't believe I struggle with TTC. I never thought in a million years I'd be one of those women. But it hasn't been a full year yet with any luck I'll be part of that 85%. Honestly, if you put me in a room with 85 pregnant couples and I was part of the 15 who were not, I'd scream. (if this statistic is true that is!)

OH thinks our neighbor is pregnant with their 3rd kid. I hmphed and he got annoyed and said he can't tell me anything because I've become so angry. I said its not fair that they can have 3 small kids like that and we still have none. He said maybe they did struggle as we don't know their story. I guess I'm quick to judge.

Lauren! I was also starting to wonder what everyone's job is. (I'm a journalist! I love write and its sometimes why my posts are so long!!)

I'm feeling way better after reading everyone's posts. I don't deal with change well and when a lot of stuff happens at once I panic. This week has been learning the ropes during a very busy time, with secretly trying to make TTC my priority. So it will settle down and no one seems to notice if you come in late. That is good for fertility appointments!! Once I settle in I might be forthcoming and say I have doctors appointments a couple times a month and if they ask why I can say fertility and leave it at that. It's my right as a woman to have a baby, it's not like I'm out getting botox or something!

I really think the fertility drugs were making me sick and anxious... I feel totally normal just 24 hrs after stopping. Well let's hope it was worth it...but I also feel like a bfp will happen at some point, if not this time then one of the next. This is the first time I have felt optimistic or have felt that it's okay to get a bfn (even though it's depressing.) speaking with all of you has really helped me deal with the inner guilt of not having conceived, the frustrations I feel toward the whole process. So I'm so thankful for that!!! Night ladies!!! Look forward to catching up tomorrow. (and if anyone else wants to reveal their jobs I'd love to hear! I bet we find mor similarities outside of our TTC journeys!!)

 

[lauren26]

So awesome that you're a journalist, Sashimi! I began my undergrad degree in writing--I LOVE writing and love literature. I graduated with an art degree, and have worked in art sales, administration, and finance....and have sold the odd painting or two So cool to learn that about you. My OH works with children, which he adores. His job reminds me constantly how much I want kids, lol. He will be an amazing dad.

 

[biostat]

Journalism, arts, admin, and finance - diverse talents ladies! It's really great to hear about what the other side of people's lives are like. I'm an MD in the midst of my residency (not an OB/GYN or specialization in fertility), and I'm involved in a bit of research, which is why I work with stats a lot. Lauren - my husband also works with kids (elementary school teacher) and it makes me excited too about his dad-potential

 

[lxb]

woo~~ what a group of diverse ladies here~! I'm a software engineer. I pretty much sit in front of the computer all day writing codes! and check BnB every so often! I can see that you ladies' entries tend to be long (but so easy to read at the same time! love it!)

biostat - did you test yet?? update us!!!!!

 

[countrygirl86]

You all make me so happy

Lauren - great to hear about your DH's SA! It must be a relief to know that they can always work with what he has anyway lol I'm working as an office manager/service advisor in an auto shop right now but thinking of making a change into something that will use my knowledge from my education (Accounting diploma and Business Admin degree). Awesome that your DH works with kids! Mine is an electrician by trade but has begun his own company building houses and has a fear of tiny babies lol

Treasured - welcome aboard! These ladies are great I would love to know if there is one solution to ttc issues, or that it will happen eventually. If I knew I would get pg at some point I would find comfort (I think). I'm 25, turning 26 in September! It definitely doesn't matter how old you are, whenever you feel ready is when it's time!

Sashimi - hope your new job isn't too much! I look up to you for getting a new job! I've needed to change for a while now but haven't built up the courage, my boss is so great. I'm realizing that the timing will never be perfect so I'm going to start applying as good jobs come up and just see what happens. I kind of expected to be in the 15 group, part because my DH had cancer. It can be frustrating at times but I think it will make it that much more special when we finally get our baby

Sleepy - how's the SMEP going? I'm due to OPK today so I have to figure that out but it's exciting! So happy to have you to go through this with!

biostat - what you said makes total sense about the gambling/slots! I'm no gambler either but I take comfort in that because my SIL and BF got pregnant within 3 months of trying and it was just that things lined up for them. We all will get our BFPs when everything lines up, just a matter of time! And I'm with Lauren,

 

[lxb]

Oh... also meant to say

Treasured - I'm 28 turning 29 this year. Agree with these ladies here, ttc can be frustrating no matter what age you are. The main thing is trying not to stress over it and stay positive (I know I can use that advice myself)

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Gang! I'm on a break at the conference and thought I'd pop on to say Hi! Two of the speakers this morning who were men kept randomly going off topiv mentioning how their wives are 8 mos pregnant or how one just had a baby 5 weeks ago and showed a pic on the big screens. Had there been a Q&A I probably would have asked "How long did you try?" even thought the topic was about something completely unrelated to ttc!

I saw my Fertility doctor. The ultrasound showed that the Femara drug worked and created a super ovulation, so I have two eggs or follicles that are going to be coming soon. That increase the chance of twins, which would be amazing. But the doc warned with multiples comes high risk pregnancies. Knowing that there is this twins possibility I almost wonder if another bfn would be double the disappointment, but I havent even Oed yet, so I can't think that way. Doc also said he want to keep an eye on the lining of my uterus to make sure it will be thick enough to hold on to a pregnancy. So many issues with ttc... It's like everything has to be just right for it to work! The egg quality, sperm count, lining, etc!

I love my fertility doctor and feel so great after seeing him. He is so personable and optimistic. I made it in and out of there in an hour today! I will go back tomorrow fo more monitoring and I imagine the IUI will happen soon! I notice on other threads people post numbers of their cycle monitoring like follicle size.... I don't ask about that stuff because it doesn't really make sense to me as to what it means.

I feel bad I haven't had time to respond individually to everyone. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind but I think I am finally adjusting to the new pace in life. I want everyone to know that I read all these posts and love hearing about where everyone is in their cycles, vents about ttc and now it's so cool to hear about our various careers!!! What an amazing and diverse group! I wish we could all chat like this IRL!!

So my question of the day is coffee. I know some people stay away from caffeine while ttc, but I've been drinking a cup here and there and have needed it more so the last couple of weeks. I know lots of women who got BFPs who are mega coffee addicts so I don't worry too much... But what does everyone think about coffee and ttc? I feel like my doctor would tell me to not drink caffeine at all if it was detrimental to the process. What do you ladies think? What foods do you stay away from during the 2ww?

 

[biostat]

Haha, ok ok! I actually wanted to test this morning but I talked to DH last night (I'm out of town) and he said, "No way are you testing without me there." So I'm waiting until I get home tonight or tomorrow AM. I know you're supposed to use first morning urine, but I may not be patient enough. thanks for the words of encouragement chicas...you are the best!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Good luck biostat!!! I know with the FR tests you can test any time of day urine although they say morning contains the most hcg. Fx